Have you ever had a streak of sobriety, only to go on a vacation or business trip and relapse on porn? In order to stop watching porn on business trips and vacations, you need to take a proactive approach.One of the most counterintuitive things about vacation is that it can be one of the greatest triggers for relapse. Vacation takes us out of our norms and routines, giving way to unanticipated complications and temptations. Business trips can also lead to porn relapse, as we are often un...
If you’re married and you struggle with a porn addiction, we’re going to talk about what to do when your wife is triggered. I have seen a recurring trend with my clients who struggle with pornography addiction. Many have no boundaries with their partners. They face some very serious struggles and confusion in their marriage, trying to figure out how to react when their wives with betrayal trauma are triggered. In other words, when their wives become angry, defensive, lash out, become cri...
In today’s article, I’m going to share a story with you. One that I believe every porn addict can relate to. This story is going to teach you how to heal porn addiction using loving and compassionate methods that, in my opinion, people don’t talk about enough. It’s also going to teach you the truth about the underlying psychology and root causes of porn addiction. This story will be told from the perspective of a father who is watching their son struggle with a pornography addi...
What if you had mental tools you could use in an instant to remove your desire for porn? What if you could stop watching porn because you had a recovery mindset that replaced your need for it? What I often hear from my clients when they begin my intensive porn addiction recovery program is that cravings for porn and sex feel instant and automatic. They see a woman, and immediately the lust and fantasizing starts. I remember exactly what that was like during the years I was addicted to porn. M...
“My wife won’t have sex with me”, “Porn addiction has ruined our marriage and our sex life”, “My wife has gained 80 lbs since we got married, and I’m no longer sexually attracted to her”, “My wife dresses like a nun and wants nothing to do with sex”...If any of these sound like you, and you’re in a marriage where sex is as frequent as a solar eclipse (or if that’s too generous), today’s episode is for you. Today, we’re going to talk about:Reasons your wife isn’t having sex with you (and they’...
Today, I address common questions many men I’ve worked with have had about porn addiction in marriage. We’ll talk about how wives can unfortunately become sex objects in today's cultural climate (and how to put a stop to it), and how a husband can:Overcome sexual obsession so he can lead a happier, more fulfilling life.Feel truly sexually satisfied in the relationship.Help his wife feel safe, accepted, and loved.Quit porn by building a recovery mindset and lifestyle.If you’re a spouse of a po...
Many of my clients have the same question when they start my porn addiction recovery program: “When triggers for porn come up, I just don’t know how to handle them. Are there any simple practices I can use to overcome porn triggers?”In today’s episode, I am going to show you how to beat porn triggers and overcome porn addiction using a 5-step system that is simple and easy to apply.With this 5-step system, you will no longer be confused about how to handle porn triggers because you’ll have a ...
Do you or your spouse struggle with a porn addiction? Or do you suspect that you or your spouse may be struggling with one? Today, I’m going to share 17 porn addiction symptoms that porn addicts and spouses should know. I’ve been working in the addiction community for years, and I have seen recurring patterns and themes among clients and friends who are trying to quit porn. I’ve also been through my own porn addiction recovery journey. In this article, I pull upon both my professional ex...
You just watched porn. You’ve been working hard to stay sober and stop watching porn, but despite your best efforts, you slipped up and now you’re in a dilemma… How to tell your wife about your porn relapse? Relapses are a common part of porn addiction recovery. I would love it if they weren’t, but they are! It’s just the reality. During the years I was working to quit porn, I relapsed after a year of sobriety…twice! It was brutally discouraging, but it was not the end for me. I wen...
If you struggle with porn addiction, it can be a real challenge to figure out why you experience cravings for porn. A lot of the world will tell you it’s because you crave sex - it’s your natural urges - and you just need to discipline yourself enough to stop watching porn. That’s not the case. You’re not a man with an overactive sex drive. You’re not lazy. You’re not weird. You’re not a pervert. You’re not bad for dealing with a porn addiction. You don’t build willpower to ove...
Today, you're going to use 3 evidence-based IFS principles to learn how to quit porn by making friends with the addict part of your brain.IFS (Internal Family Systems) therapy is a powerful framework for overcoming addiction. It takes a non-traditional approach that has been studied and utilized for 40 years, and has been shown to be highly effective. Using this approach, you'll discover how to make peace with the part of you that has consistently led you to porn addiction - this part th...
What if you had a mental toolbelt to stop porn cravings and overcome fantasizing and lust habits? Today, I’m going to give you exactly that. By the end of this episode, you will have 7 tools to overcome fantasizing and lust, so you can beat porn cravings and stop wanting pornography. But - just like anything - in order for them to work, you have to apply them.Imagine you’re at the gym and you see a girl in her gym outfit, or you’re browsing online and see some ad pop up with a woman in a...
When my porn addiction recovery story started a decade ago, I believed that the cravings for porn were my main enemy. I thought that if I could just resist these urges, I’d be free. However, through years of working with men around the world and diving deep into my own experiences, I've come to understand that these cravings are merely symptoms of deeper issues. The true battle lies in preventing these cravings from emerging in the first place.Today, I share how to overcome porn add...
One of the pillars for building a recovery mindset and lifestyle to overcome porn addiction is connection - or in other words having positive, fulfilling relationships.In today’s episode, I speak with Chris Reavis, professional coach, speaker, and author in the corporate space. He teaches how we can enjoy work more and build better corporate relationships with co-workers and leaders using brain science and evidence-based methods. As work is where we may spend about 1/3rd of our life, it’...
Do you find yourself constantly asking, “Why do I struggle with porn addiction?” Or, ”Why is my spouse / child addicted to porn?” There are a lot of messages out there that will tell you porn addiction is about sexual urges. It’s about having a high libido. It’s about a desire for sex that isn’t being fulfilled. If a man wants porn then it’s his spouse’s responsibility to make sure he’s satisfied, and if he’s satisfied then he won’t want porn. I have news for you. That’s a bunch of ...
If you're battling with pornography addiction, you're not alone, and there's a way out. I've been there, and I've come through the other side. Let's talk about how you can break free from porn addiction and reclaim your life.In today’s episode, I speak with Mark Collins, a Coach and Mentor who helps men uncover their true identity so they can build confidence, self-worth, and a life of deep meaning. Through my years of addiction, I often wondered what was driving this destructive behavio...
Do you find yourself struggling to quit porn, barely making it past the first week or even the first few days? Today, I’m going to give you 8 rules to get you 3-months sober from porn.I remember how daunting it felt when I was grappling with a decade-long pornography addiction. I constantly wondered what would finally help me overcome this addiction for good. If only I could reach three months of sobriety, I believed, it would transform my life! Today, I want to share eight rules th...
Recently, I had the pleasure of sitting down with Therapist Jeanine Gardner, from Circles of Grace, part of LifeStar Salt Lake. She shared extremely valuable insights about how trauma, attachment, shame, and porn addiction are all interconnected, and how we can heal trauma and insecure attachments to overcome porn addiction. In this episode we cover: Why porn addiction (and all addiction) is very misunderstoodHow attachment wounds, trauma, and shame fuel porn addictionEpigenet...
So, you’re walking down the street, minding your own business, when BAM a girl walks by in a skimpy outfit. Thoughts of lust, fantasizing, and craving are running through your mind. Or, let’s say, you’re browsing online, minding your own business, when BOOM some ad pops up of women in swimsuits. You’re triggered. And these triggers have started you down the path to eventually acting out with porn. You feel like it’s almost inevitable. You’ve been working so hard to overcome por...
It can be so hard to know how to help someone with a porn addiction. We worry deeply for our loved ones. We try so, so hard to “knock some sense into them”; to tell them to get help, or to try and help them ourselves. We talk and talk and talk until we’re blue in the face, attempting to get through.Sometimes, our spouse or child will have moments of clarity, knowing they need help to quit porn. But, when we follow up to see if they’ve set up that therapy appointment, looked up ...