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Join relationship coach Stephanie Rigg in On Attachment, where she delves deep into all things attachment theory, love, relationships & intimacy - sharing her wisdom and experience to help you start making real changes in your life & relationships.
204 Episodes
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Ever look back at your dating history and realise you’ve basically been in the same relationship over and over again — just with different people? Maybe you thought you’d learned the lessons, yet somehow the same dynamics keep playing out. In this episode, we’re unpacking why these patterns form, why they feel so hard to break, and how you can start shifting them. We’ll explore how your early experiences shape an unconscious “blueprint” for love, how your nervous system pulls you toward what ...
2If you struggle with a harsh inner critic — whether it shows up as perfectionism, relentless self-judgment, or shame about the past — this episode is for you. We’re unpacking the roots of that punitive inner voice, how it tries to keep us safe, and the real cost it can have on our self-worth, our nervous system, and our ability to grow. We’ll also explore what it looks like to relate to ourselves differently: to meet our inner critic with compassion rather than fear, and to begin the process ...
We don’t often talk about how attachment dynamics play out in friendships — but if you’ve ever felt anxious, hurt, or overly invested in a friend who seemed to be pulling away, you’ll know just how triggering these relationships can be. While attachment theory was originally developed to explain the infant-caregiver bond and later applied to romantic relationships, many of the same fears, patterns, and protective strategies show up in our platonic relationships too — especially when they carr...
If you’re someone with anxious attachment patterns, the ending of a relationship can bring up some of your deepest wounds: feelings of abandonment, not being enough, being too much, or fears that you’ll never find love again. In today’s episode, I’m offering a more grounded, intentional path through heartbreak — one that doesn’t rely on ruminating, obsessing, or waiting for closure from someone else. We’re talking about how to actually heal from a breakup, rather than just surviving it. I’ll ...
So many of us struggle with the idea of self-love. For me, and for many others, it can feel vague, aspirational, or simply out of reach. But what if, instead of trying to love ourselves, we focused on becoming someone we actually like? In today’s episode, I’m sharing five practical and tangible ways to do just that. This is about taking honest, grounded steps that help you build real self-respect, pride, and internal alignment. Whether you’re feeling disconnected from yourself, stuck in self-...
In this episode, I’m joined by educator, speaker, and author Lael Stone to explore the powerful role that early imprints play in shaping the stories we carry — about ourselves, others, and the world around us. We dive into how our earliest experiences — especially within our family system — inform the narratives we unconsciously live by. We talk about what it means to bring those stories into conscious awareness, and how to begin rewriting the ones that no longer serve us. Whether you’re deep...
When you have an anxious attachment style, it can be hard to know what you actually need to feel secure — especially if past relationships have left you second-guessing yourself or trying to manage your anxiety by suppressing your needs. In this episode, we’re exploring five key ingredients that help anxiously attached people thrive in relationships. These aren’t about seeking constant reassurance or outsourcing your self-worth — they’re about being in relational environments that support sec...
In today’s episode, we’re exploring what avoidant attached people actually need to feel safe and secure in a relationship — and how partners can support that without self-abandoning. Avoidant attachment is often misunderstood — labelled as cold, distant, or commitment-phobic. But when we look beneath those surface-level behaviours, what we often find is a deep need for space, safety, and self-reliance. We’ll cover: Why space needs to be respected, not punishedThe importance of having a partne...
If you deeply fear abandonment, there’s a good chance you’ve also been abandoning yourself in quiet, subtle, and painful ways. In today’s episode, we’re exploring how fear of abandonment often leads to patterns of self-abandonment — especially for those with anxious attachment. We’ll look at why this happens, how it shows up in your relationships, and what it actually costs you when you disconnect from your truth just to stay connected to someone else. You’ll learn: Why self-abandonment is of...
In today’s episode, I’m sharing two key principles for building a truly resilient, balanced nervous system — and why one without the other tends to keep us stuck. We’ll explore: Why nervous system health isn’t about being relaxed all the timeThe importance of deliberate stress exposure to build capacity and resilienceThe equally vital need to resource and nourish ourselves through rest, pleasure, and co-regulationHow to work with the natural ebb and flow of activation and recoveryA simple met...
If you often feel like you're fighting for a place in your partner’s life—like you’re always waiting to be chosen or noticed—this episode is for you. This is one of the most common experiences for people with anxious attachment: that persistent, painful feeling of being sidelined. Of giving so much, while wondering if you even matter to the person you love. And when that becomes a pattern, it can quietly erode your sense of self-worth. In this episode, I’m unpacking: Why anxiously attached pe...
While it’s easy to focus on the struggles of anxious attachment — overthinking, people-pleasing, fear of abandonment — there are also real gifts that often go hand-in-hand with these attachment patterns. When held with awareness and intention, many of the traits we associate with anxious attachment can become powerful strengths in our relationships and our lives. I’ll be exploring: Why it’s important to move beyond pathologising anxious attachmentThe qualities that often develop through lived...
In today’s episode, we’re unpacking the subtle (but important) differences between requests, boundaries, ultimatums, and dealbreakers. While these words are often used interchangeably, they carry different energies — and understanding those differences can help you communicate more clearly, hold your ground with integrity, and honour your needs without falling into patterns of control, people-pleasing, or collapse. We’ll explore: Why the energy behind your words matters more than the words th...
In this episode, we're exploring why so many of us struggle to access pleasure, rest, and a felt sense of wellbeing — especially in a culture that glorifies productivity, self-sacrifice, and chronic stress. If you've ever felt like slowing down or doing something just because it feels good triggers guilt, anxiety, or even restlessness… you're not alone. We'll look at: How chronic stress and hypervigilance disrupt our ability to feel goodWhy pleasure and rest often feel unsafe or unearnedThe r...
If you find yourself spiralling into anxiety — overanalysing a text, catastrophising worst-case scenarios, or feeling like your nervous system is in overdrive — this episode is for you. Today we’re talking about how to stop the anxious spiral before it takes over. I’ll walk you through what actually happens in your body and mind during a spiral, why it makes so much sense if you struggle with anxious attachment, and what you can do to interrupt that cycle in the moment. I’ll also share some l...
Jealousy is one of the most common—and most shamed—experiences for people with anxious attachment. In this episode, we’re exploring where jealousy really comes from, how it manifests in relationships, and why it makes so much sense through the lens of self-worth and attachment wounding. I share personal reflections from my own journey with jealousy, alongside insights to help you understand your patterns with more compassion and clarity. Whether you obsessively compare yourself to others, fee...
Feeling stuck in your relationship? Like things are off, disconnected, or just… heavy? You're not alone. Relationship ruts are common — and they're often more about what's bleeding into the relationship (stress, burnout, life overload) than about the relationship itself. For those in anxious-avoidant dynamics, these ruts can feel especially charged. The anxious partner often wants to fix it, while the avoidant may feel overwhelmed or pressured — leading to even more distance. In this episode,...
Whether you’re single or partnered, you might find yourself wondering: Am I in the right place to do this work? There’s often an unspoken belief that there’s a “best” time to heal — and that if we’re not doing it in the ideal conditions, we’re doing it wrong. In this episode, I’ll explore: The advantages and limitations of healing while singleWhy being in a relationship can accelerate your growth (but only under the right conditions)How emotional safety plays a key role in healingWhy the ques...
We all have visions for how we thought life would unfold — timelines we hoped to follow, milestones we expected to reach. So what happens when life doesn't go to plan? In today’s episode, I’m speaking to those moments of disappointment, grief, and disorientation that come when our reality looks nothing like we’d imagined. Whether it’s relationships, career, family, or a more intangible sense of where you “should” be by now — it’s easy to spiral into self-blame, shame, or despair when life vee...
REGISTER FOR MY NEW FREE TRAINING Many of us are taught that taking care of the people we love is the ultimate expression of devotion. But when caring crosses the line into caretaking, it can quietly create deep imbalances in our relationships. Caretaking often stems from anxiety, a need for control, or an old belief that love must be earned through over-functioning — anticipating needs, smoothing over discomfort, managing someone else's feelings or life for them. While it can look like love ...
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sitemake I absolutely loved the episode 'On Attachment' on 'فنجان مع عبدالرحمن.' The discussion was incredibly insightful and thought-provoking. The way the host delved into the nuances of attachment theory and its impact on our relationships was both enlightening and engaging. https://www.spreaker.com/episode/sustainable-packaging-balancing-eco-friendliness-and-functionality--60843919
thank you for this perspective. I'm trying to understand her. but it's too little too late.
A thoughtful, insightful podcast about one's one psychology and how that plays out in relationships. It nicely balances "diagnosis" with helpful advice.
can you do an episode about how to heal your avoidant attachment style?
Thanks for sharing insights that are concise yet extremely actionable :) more power to you!
amazing information
amazing episode, so helpful