Claim OwnershipOn Attachment
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Join relationship coach Stephanie Rigg in On Attachment, where she delves deep into all things attachment theory, love, relationships & intimacy - sharing her wisdom and experience to help you start making real changes in your life & relationships.
210 Episodes
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1So often, we’re drawn to the work of healing our relational wounds because of challenges in our relationship. A partner’s behaviour, or the dynamic between us, shines a light on our pain points and shows us where our work might be. But this can raise a difficult question: if we’re still being triggered or activated within that very relationship, is healing actually possible? In this episode, I explore the nuance of this dilemma. We’ll cover: Why triggers aren’t necessarily a bad thing — and h...
When you’re anxiously attached, it’s easy to fixate on red flags and warning signs — scanning for danger in the early stages of dating. But if you’re always looking for what’s wrong, you might miss the important signs that you’re with someone who’s actually safe, caring, and aligned with you. In this episode, we shift the focus to green flags — the encouraging behaviours and feelings that can help you recognise when a connection has potential. You’ll learn why these signs matter, how they can...
Fear of infidelity can be one of the most overwhelming and destabilising experiences for someone with anxious attachment. Even when there’s no evidence a partner is being unfaithful, the possibility alone can trigger deep anxiety, hypervigilance, and constant worry. In this episode, we explore why anxiously attached people often fear cheating so much, even in the absence of proof. We’ll look at the core wounds and nervous system patterns that fuel this fear, the role of past relationship and ...
If you’ve ever felt calm and confident when you’re single, only to find yourself spiralling into anxiety the moment you start dating, there’s a good reason for it. In this episode, I share why this shift happens — and why it’s completely normal if you have an anxious attachment style. Attachment patterns are relational, which means they tend to lie dormant when we’re on our own. But as soon as we have something (or someone) at stake, we feel more vulnerable. The more we care, the more our pro...
Understanding your nervous system is one of the most powerful tools you have for creating secure, connected relationships. But too often we approach it as a one-size-fits-all formula, rather than honouring the unique way our individual nervous systems work. In this episode, I’m joined by parenting expert and author Alyssa Blask Campbell to explore how tuning into your nervous system can make you a better partner and parent. Alyssa shares insights from her work on emotional development in chil...
When a relationship ends without warning, it’s common to feel blindsided, confused, and deeply hurt. This is often labelled the “avoidant discard” — but while that term might feel validating in the moment, it can also keep you stuck in a disempowering story. In this episode, we’ll talk about how to process a sudden ending in a way that honours your pain without leaving you tethered to it. We’ll explore: Why shock and lack of closure can intensify heartbreakThe difference between feeling disca...
Ever look back at your dating history and realise you’ve basically been in the same relationship over and over again — just with different people? Maybe you thought you’d learned the lessons, yet somehow the same dynamics keep playing out. In this episode, we’re unpacking why these patterns form, why they feel so hard to break, and how you can start shifting them. We’ll explore how your early experiences shape an unconscious “blueprint” for love, how your nervous system pulls you toward what ...
If you struggle with a harsh inner critic — whether it shows up as perfectionism, relentless self-judgment, or shame about the past — this episode is for you. We’re unpacking the roots of that punitive inner voice, how it tries to keep us safe, and the real cost it can have on our self-worth, our nervous system, and our ability to grow. We’ll also explore what it looks like to relate to ourselves differently: to meet our inner critic with compassion rather than fear, and to begin the process ...
We don’t often talk about how attachment dynamics play out in friendships — but if you’ve ever felt anxious, hurt, or overly invested in a friend who seemed to be pulling away, you’ll know just how triggering these relationships can be. While attachment theory was originally developed to explain the infant-caregiver bond and later applied to romantic relationships, many of the same fears, patterns, and protective strategies show up in our platonic relationships too — especially when they carr...
If you’re someone with anxious attachment patterns, the ending of a relationship can bring up some of your deepest wounds: feelings of abandonment, not being enough, being too much, or fears that you’ll never find love again. In today’s episode, I’m offering a more grounded, intentional path through heartbreak — one that doesn’t rely on ruminating, obsessing, or waiting for closure from someone else. We’re talking about how to actually heal from a breakup, rather than just surviving it. I’ll ...
So many of us struggle with the idea of self-love. For me, and for many others, it can feel vague, aspirational, or simply out of reach. But what if, instead of trying to love ourselves, we focused on becoming someone we actually like? In today’s episode, I’m sharing five practical and tangible ways to do just that. This is about taking honest, grounded steps that help you build real self-respect, pride, and internal alignment. Whether you’re feeling disconnected from yourself, stuck in self-...
In this episode, I’m joined by educator, speaker, and author Lael Stone to explore the powerful role that early imprints play in shaping the stories we carry — about ourselves, others, and the world around us. We dive into how our earliest experiences — especially within our family system — inform the narratives we unconsciously live by. We talk about what it means to bring those stories into conscious awareness, and how to begin rewriting the ones that no longer serve us. Whether you’re deep...
When you have an anxious attachment style, it can be hard to know what you actually need to feel secure — especially if past relationships have left you second-guessing yourself or trying to manage your anxiety by suppressing your needs. In this episode, we’re exploring five key ingredients that help anxiously attached people thrive in relationships. These aren’t about seeking constant reassurance or outsourcing your self-worth — they’re about being in relational environments that support sec...
In today’s episode, we’re exploring what avoidant attached people actually need to feel safe and secure in a relationship — and how partners can support that without self-abandoning. Avoidant attachment is often misunderstood — labelled as cold, distant, or commitment-phobic. But when we look beneath those surface-level behaviours, what we often find is a deep need for space, safety, and self-reliance. We’ll cover: Why space needs to be respected, not punishedThe importance of having a partne...
If you deeply fear abandonment, there’s a good chance you’ve also been abandoning yourself in quiet, subtle, and painful ways. In today’s episode, we’re exploring how fear of abandonment often leads to patterns of self-abandonment — especially for those with anxious attachment. We’ll look at why this happens, how it shows up in your relationships, and what it actually costs you when you disconnect from your truth just to stay connected to someone else. You’ll learn: Why self-abandonment is of...
In today’s episode, I’m sharing two key principles for building a truly resilient, balanced nervous system — and why one without the other tends to keep us stuck. We’ll explore: Why nervous system health isn’t about being relaxed all the timeThe importance of deliberate stress exposure to build capacity and resilienceThe equally vital need to resource and nourish ourselves through rest, pleasure, and co-regulationHow to work with the natural ebb and flow of activation and recoveryA simple met...
If you often feel like you're fighting for a place in your partner’s life—like you’re always waiting to be chosen or noticed—this episode is for you. This is one of the most common experiences for people with anxious attachment: that persistent, painful feeling of being sidelined. Of giving so much, while wondering if you even matter to the person you love. And when that becomes a pattern, it can quietly erode your sense of self-worth. In this episode, I’m unpacking: Why anxiously attached pe...
While it’s easy to focus on the struggles of anxious attachment — overthinking, people-pleasing, fear of abandonment — there are also real gifts that often go hand-in-hand with these attachment patterns. When held with awareness and intention, many of the traits we associate with anxious attachment can become powerful strengths in our relationships and our lives. I’ll be exploring: Why it’s important to move beyond pathologising anxious attachmentThe qualities that often develop through lived...
In today’s episode, we’re unpacking the subtle (but important) differences between requests, boundaries, ultimatums, and dealbreakers. While these words are often used interchangeably, they carry different energies — and understanding those differences can help you communicate more clearly, hold your ground with integrity, and honour your needs without falling into patterns of control, people-pleasing, or collapse. We’ll explore: Why the energy behind your words matters more than the words th...
In this episode, we're exploring why so many of us struggle to access pleasure, rest, and a felt sense of wellbeing — especially in a culture that glorifies productivity, self-sacrifice, and chronic stress. If you've ever felt like slowing down or doing something just because it feels good triggers guilt, anxiety, or even restlessness… you're not alone. We'll look at: How chronic stress and hypervigilance disrupt our ability to feel goodWhy pleasure and rest often feel unsafe or unearnedThe r...
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sitemake I absolutely loved the episode 'On Attachment' on 'فنجان مع عبدالرحمن.' The discussion was incredibly insightful and thought-provoking. The way the host delved into the nuances of attachment theory and its impact on our relationships was both enlightening and engaging. https://www.spreaker.com/episode/sustainable-packaging-balancing-eco-friendliness-and-functionality--60843919
thank you for this perspective. I'm trying to understand her. but it's too little too late.
A thoughtful, insightful podcast about one's one psychology and how that plays out in relationships. It nicely balances "diagnosis" with helpful advice.
can you do an episode about how to heal your avoidant attachment style?
Thanks for sharing insights that are concise yet extremely actionable :) more power to you!
amazing information
amazing episode, so helpful