Returning to Us
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Parenting and educating children is one of the greatest experiences in life, but it comes with plenty of emotionally draining challenges. Join behavioral health specialist Lauren Spigelmyer each week as she discusses strategies and tips for how to hack your brain, build and strengthen relationships, and teach people how to recognize and neutralize their emotional states. If you aren’t happy with a child’s behavior, are feeling stressed out, or just want to learn more about emotions and the brain, then this show is for you.
170 Episodes
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In this episode, Lauren introduces the 4P framework, a tool designed to evaluate and improve workplace culture. It focuses on four key areas: Policy, Practice, Practitioner, and People—each representing a different facet of an organization. By examining these components, we help organizations apply the Five Ives framework to their organization, ensuring that culture is evaluated at every level.We also explore how the Five Ives framework complements the 4Ps. Leaders are encouraged to audit the...
In this episode, Lauren explores the "Five Ives" framework, a powerful tool for understanding and navigating emotional regulation. She explains how each stage—from *Survive* to *Hive*—represents a natural response to life's challenges and emphasizes that no stage is inherently negative. While certain stages are best not to linger in, they are all part of the biological journey. Lauren shares her own story of moving through these stages, drawing from past trauma and offers practical guida...
In the third and final episode of this microseries, Lauren and her Five Ives partner, Jessica Doering, explore practical steps to move forward from a survival state. They discuss the importance of recognizing and appreciating progress, even if you're not yet back to your pre-trauma self. By setting small, achievable goals, you can take simple steps toward reestablishing familiar patterns, which can help restore a sense of control in moments of crisis. Lauren and Jessica offer pract...
In this second episode of the microseries, Lauren is joined again by her Five Ives partner, Jessica Doering, to discuss the concept of the window of tolerance and its role in healing from trauma. It can be difficult to consider the window of tolerance when you're in a survival state, but using visualization tools like the 3-box method can help you understand your emotional state and guide you back to balance. Lauren and Jessica discuss the importance of simple, neutral regulation techniq...
In this episode, Lauren is joined by her Five Ives partner, Jessica Doering, to explore the first part of a 3-part series on navigating the "Five Ives" framework, with a focus on regulating your emotional state after natural disasters or unexpected events. They emphasize the importance of having grace and compassion when you're in survival mode. Surviving can be overwhelming, but understanding that it's a process to work your way out of it is key.Lauren and Jessica provide a quick overview of...
In the final episode of the emotional regulation series, Lauren dives into the third step: problem-solving. If you haven’t listened to the previous two episodes, be sure to check them out first. Sometimes, emotional dysregulation stems from a recurring issue that can’t be resolved with regulation techniques alone—it requires working through the problem itself.Lauren walks through the importance of keeping communication simple: "You felt, I felt, problem, solution."With problem solving, timing...
In this episode Lauren re-visits her framework for helping kids recognize emotional dysregulation. Emotions are abstract and recognizing the spectrum of emotions can be hard, especially for kiddos who have so many stimuli that can knock them out of their window of tolerance.After walking through the key steps of using the framework to recognize that you're dysregulated, Lauren explains how to visualize the window of tolerance and how use it to identify when you're dysregulated.Try-at-hom...
If you haven't listened yet, go back and listen to the past 2 episodes of this series on going back to the basics of emotional regulation. Today Lauren is giving us strategies for how to up or down regulate on the spot - in the moment that the dysregulation occurs. There are hundreds of regulation strategies that you can try yourself or with your kiddos. Lauren is sharing her go-to strategies and providing resources for finding other strategies so that you can find what works for you and your...
In this second episode of this re-introduction to the Returning To Us series, Lauren walks through how to build and use a calm down quiet space in your home or classroom. In the last episode, Lauren strategies for recognizing and categorizing emotional states - a critical step in emotional regulation.Creating a quiet space to facilitate regulation is an easy way to help your kiddos with emotional regulation. This isn't a time out or punishment; it's a safe place where kids can go to focus on ...
In this new series Lauren is going back to the beginning for some re-introductions. From how she got her start with The Behavior Hub to her current role with the University of Pennsylvania, Lauren walks us through her growth as an expert in the brain and human behaviors. She also gives us a re-introduction to the Returning To Us podcast. The goal of the podcast is to give people the information and tools they need to return to a regulated, balanced nervous system state.And, with the spirit of...
In the final installment of Lauren's series on books that help kids deal with hard topics, she's sharing 4 more books. In this episode, Lauren gives an overview of each book and her recommendations for adapting it to kids in different age groups. We want to protect our kids, but to do that, we need to give them the language to explain their experiences. It's good to educate them earlier and young and allow them to feel comfortable expressing themselves in uncomfortable situations. And, a...
In this second installment of Lauren's series on books that help kids deal with hard topics, she's sharing 4 more books. In this episode, Lauren gives an overview of each book and her recommendations for adapting it to kids in different age groups. Most books on these topics are designed for kids ages 5-12, but they can be modified for younger kids. It can be helpful to introduce the topics early as long as they're introduced in a developmentally appropriate way. Lauren gives some great ...
This is the first episode of a review series where Lauren introduces children's books that address topics like private parts, abuse, and anxiety. In this episode, Lauren gives an overview of each book and her recommendations for adapting it to kids in different age groups. Check them out online for reviews and Lauren will give her opinion of each book.Different books resonate with different people, kids, and situations so make sure to look these up online and check the reviews to see what oth...
Annnnd....she's back! After taking July off to enjoy the summer, Lauren is back with the final installment of emotional regulation strategies. So far Lauren has shared over 30 emotional regulation tools that you can use to build your toolbox. If you missed them, go back and listen to episodes 1-6 so that you can start curating a list of strategies that work for the kids in your life.This is now officially the last episode in the regulation series - Lauren couldn't help herself sharing just on...
For the past 6 weeks, Lauren has shared close to 30 emotional regulation tools that you can use to build your toolbox. If you missed them, go back and listen to episodes 1-5 so that you can start curating a list of strategies that work for the kids in your life.This is the last episode before Lauren's summer break. The podcast will be on break for all of July, but Lauren will be back in August with a series on books that help kids learn about and deal with hard topics. So, enjoy your July and...
Lauren is back with 5 more regulation strategies that you can try with the kiddos in your life! For the rest of May and all of June, Lauren is going to share 5 regulation strategies per week. In each episode, Lauren will explain how each strategy works to regulate and then give you specific examples of how you can start using these strategies with young kids (but these can be used with people of any age too!). In this episode, Lauren goes through a quick review of the regulation techniqu...
Lauren is back with 5 more regulation strategies that you can try with the kiddos in your life! For the rest of May and all of June, Lauren is going to share 5 regulation strategies per week. In each episode, Lauren will explain how each strategy works to regulate and then give you specific examples of how you can start using these strategies with young kids (but these can be used with people of any age too!). In this episode, Lauren shares 5 more regulation tools that you can use with p...
Lauren is back with 5 more regulation strategies that you can try with the kiddos in your life! For the rest of May and all of June, Lauren is going to share 5 regulation strategies per week. In each episode, Lauren will explain how each strategy works to regulate and then give you specific examples of how you can start using these strategies with young kids (but these can be used with people of any age too!). In this episode, Lauren shares the first 6 emotional regulation strategies. Al...
Lauren is back with 5 more regulation strategies that you can try with the kiddos in your life! For the rest of May and all of June, Lauren is going to share 5 regulation strategies per week. In each episode, Lauren will explain how each strategy works to regulate and then give you specific examples of how you can start using these strategies with young kids. In this episode, Lauren re-introduces the categorization system that she uses with young kids to help them identify their emotiona...
Today is the first day of a 6 week series on regulation strategies. For the rest of May and all of June, Lauren is going to share 5 regulation strategies per week! In each episode, Lauren will explain how each strategy works to regulate and then give you specific examples of how you can start using these strategies with young kids. In this episode, Lauren re-introduces the categorization system that she uses with young kids to help them identify their emotional states. And then shares th...
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