DiscoverSave Your Sanity - Help for Toxic Relationships
Save Your Sanity - Help for Toxic Relationships

Save Your Sanity - Help for Toxic Relationships

Author: Dr. Rhoberta Shaler

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The Save Your Sanity podcast offers episodes filled with the expert insights, validation, strategies, and support you need to recognize, manage, and recover from relationships with the relentlessly difficult, toxic--and often disturbing--people that host Dr. Rhoberta Shaler calls Hijackals®. 


She offers invaluable help to stop the second-guessing, undermining, and crazy-making traits, patterns, and cycles you have encountered in relationships with folks like those. Understand the ways, whys, and hows that verbal abuse, emotional abuse, and spiritual abuse affect you over time. Whether the Hijackal is a partner, parent, ex, or colleague, what you will learn here will strengthen and empower you to step up, speak up, and stand up for yourself in healthy, assertive ways.


Many Hijackals have behaviors that are considered the same as those who are diagnosed as narcissists, borderlines, psychopaths, sociopaths, and histrionic personality disorder. These insights will help you to make the changes--and good decisions--to move from pain to power, and that's exactly what you want to do! Listen now. 

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.


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Be Positively Selfish

Be Positively Selfish

2024-04-2220:48

This audio was recorded in 2006, long before Hijackals became Dr. Shaler's focus. Rethinking Selfishness: "What if I told you that I now value selfishness? Would that be shocking? Not only do I value it, but I encourage others to value it and practice it."In this first of our upcoming Legacy Files, Dr. Shaler explores the often misunderstood concept of selfishness and redefines it as a positive force. Throughout our lives, many of us have been taught that being selfish is wrong. However, Dr. Shaler encourages us to reconsider this notion, advocating for a type of selfishness that empowers us to better care for ourselves and, in turn, more genuinely care for others.She delves into how practicing what she terms "positive selfishness" can actually increase our self-esteem, improve our personal freedom, and enhance our abilities to contribute to the world. In this discussion, we'll unpack the differences between detrimental selfishness and beneficial self-focus, explore the importance of setting boundaries, and debunk the myth that loving oneself is an act of neglect towards others. Join us as we lean into learning how to be positively selfish, and why it is crucial not just for personal happiness, but also for fostering healthier relationships.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~We are deeply saddened to share that Dr. Shaler passed away unexpectedly on April 3, 2024.She left peacefully and without any further discomfort, full of grace. Rhoberta worked hard to maintain her energy to continue offering time and wisdom to clients, members, and strangers alike, who found her voice and demeanor comforting and strengthening as you each faced difficult and overwhelming experiences. We know it was very hard for her to let go enough to leave her clients and fans behind, and that serving you all was her greatest joy. If you need some time with her, please visit her youtube channel (youtube.com/@forrelationshiphelp) or listen to other episodes in this podcast. There is a wealth more information among all her body of work, that has not yet made it into the world. We will continue to surface this additional material and content from her deep archive to allow her voice and strength to continue helping you all.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Whether you're looking for a new friend or a potential new relationship, you don't want to be trauma dumping. When you let your whole story fly, someone else is likely to get crushed by it.Out of the gate, with someone new, it's smart to establish a relationship dynamic based on balance, mutual sharing, and emotional maturity. Oversharing personal traumas can burden the budding relationship and skew its potential for growth.Whether you're single, dating, or looking to improve your emotional connections, this episode of #saveyoursanitypodcast share strategies and practices you need, to proceed with care and confidence.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:New Relationships and Emotional BaggageUnderstanding Drama Dumping and Trauma DumpingEmotional Health and Relationship DynamicsBuilding Emotional MaturityDating After a Toxic RelationshipI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaFOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#dramadumping #traumadumping #narcissistsbehaveliketoddlers #traumadumpingredflag #dramadumpingattractcshijackals#narcissistsbreakpromises #canttrustanarcissist #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist #anri-social#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuseSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
SOOO frustrating! You hoped for a partner, parent, sibling, or adult child with whom you could communicate, collaborate, and co-operate, but no. You live most of the time with q tiresome toddler or miserable middle schooler, right?Learn more about recognizing the patterns and altering your expectations now.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:#Hijackals are emotionally immature.Check your expectations when you approach a narcissist. Expecting equality? Oops!Often feel you're talking to a tiresome toddler or demanding teenager when you try to reason with a Hijackal?Why you need to do your own work to make good decisions about what to do about the HijackalI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaFOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#narcicisstsareemotionallyimmature #emotionallyimmature #hijjackalsareemotionallyimmature #narcissistsbehaveliketoddlers #narcissistsbreakpromises #canrustanarcissist #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist #anri-social#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuseSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Narcissists ask for too much...and they expect to get it. It's essential to hear that a question is outrageous so you can respond differently. If you've been with a Hijackal for too long, you may have stopped hearing their questions as outrageous; This episode will sharpen your listening skills and increase your sensitivity to questions that are intrusive, violating, and need a solid NO answer.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Listen for outrageous questions. You may have become used to them,Narcissists want power over you.Meaning of 'coercive control"Learn to diffuse the outrageous question,I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaFOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#learntosayno #saynotosadsm #saynotomysogyny #saynotoqhmakesmeuncomfotable#narcissistsbreakpromises #canrustanarcissist #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist #anri-social#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuseSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Being with a narcissistic person is scary, right? You are usually wrong...even when you're right!. You never know what mood they'll be in. They lie, gaslight, rage, and fall silent. They are intimidating! They keep you on edge! What can you do to reduce the intimidation? Listen to this episode. HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Narcissistic people are likely to engage in several kinds of abuse: verbal, physical, sexual, financial, emotional or spiritual Hijackals use intimidation as a quick way to win, or silence someoneChange your perspective and stop allowing yourself to be les than equal.Use the Personal Weather Report to your advantage I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaFOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#narcissstiintimitation #respondingtointimidation #stayingcalmwhennarcissistsareangry#narcissistsbreakpromises #canrustanarcissist #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist #anri-social#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuseSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Can't do anything wrong? Get away with nonsense? Get extra goodies? Attention? Time?Might sound good but it can get old fast and leave you with very poor self-esteem and a lack of identity. Have a sibling who is the Golden Child? You envied them and now you se them differently?VERY IMPORTANT EPISODE to straighten your thinking about yourself and others who were treated as Golden Children growing up.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Why being the Golden Child is not a great rolehelp to understand the downsides of being raised by a narcissistic parentRecognize the lasting effects of being the Golden Child or Scapegoat child in a narcissistic familyGiving up the "overachiever" role given to you by your family dynamicI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaFOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#goldenchilldinfamily #goldenchildonlychild #goldenchildrepresentsfamily #goldenchildscapgoatlostchild#narcissistsbreakpromises #canrustanarcissist #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist #anri-social#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuseSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Narcissists love it when you run after their approval. You hope to explain yourself and be heard; they hope to explain you away. In this episode are five iron-clad reasons to not even try to please a Hijackal - save your energy, save your time, save your self-esteem.Listen in.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Hijackals want you to please themThey make it very difficult to doWhy narcissists always need to be rightRefusing to remember the truth makes things impossibleI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaFOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#narcissistisalwaysright #hijackalalwaysright #narcissistslie #hijackalslie #narcissistsmustwin#narcissistsbreakpromises #canrustanarcissist #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist #anri-social#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuseSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
You want someone--at least one someone--to hear you, see you, believe you. So you share. Sadly, that often turns into oversharing, leaving you a little red-faced. if you fully embarrassed a little later, right? "Why did I do that?" There are good reasons you overshare. Don't beat yourself up for it. Listen in to understand the "whys" and stick around for the "why nots!" so you can make positive changes in what you share and with whom. You can stop oversharing, and still be heard when you talk with the right people. HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:The longing to be knownThe desire to have an allyTrusting the wrong person for the right reasonsDisappointed and betrayed while looking for a friendTaking care of yourself in ways you didn't know you'd need to I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaFOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#oversharing #feelinginvisible #wantingtobeheard #flyingmonkeys #givinggossip #falseintimacy#narcissistsbreakpromises #canrustanarcissist #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist #anri-social#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuseSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Steps to emotional freedom require knowing where the path starts. These five "must-do's" are fundamental to saving your sanity, self-esteem, and self-confidence. When you're in a toxic relationship with a narcissistic Hijackal, it's even MORE critlcal.Know the importance of each of these and how to keep them top of mind. Develop enough strength to follow the "healthier human" path to avoid being sucked down the "Hijackal human" one. YOU CAN!! HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:How to not get sucked into Hijackal dramaGaining perspective about how the narcissist's mind worksCreating emotional distance when the narcissist is accusing youDr. Shaler's most important mantra for saving your sanityI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaFOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#narcississticprojection #observenarcissisticbehavior #emotionaldistance #safefromanarcissist#narcissistsbreakpromises #canrustanarcissist #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist #anri-social#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuseSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Oh, how Hijackals love to poke, prod, and provoke you into losing it and reacting, right? And then they like to wind you up further so you'll yell, blame, complain, and meltdown. Crazy-making?Yes, INTENTIONALLY CRAZY-MAKING!Learn ways to not go there, to not react, to not behave like the Hijackal...or the way the Hijackal wants to manipulate you into behaving, How to choose control and calm instead. Yay!HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Nasty, manipulate way to make you out to be the abuser - Don't let it happen.Be careful: Hijackals and other narcissists attempt "reactive abuse" to keep you feeling wrong, thoughtless, confused, and small. DoNT't let them!Hijackals like to push you to reactive abuse when you are out with other people. Some do it to make a reason to call the police and make a scene. Don't let them. I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaFOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#reactiveabuse @coercivecontrol #avoidreactiveabuse #narciccistprojectionnarcissistsbreakpromises #canrustanarcissist #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist #anri-social#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuseSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Narcissistic Hijackals know what you want. Yet, they withhold giving it to you. They know what you need. Yet, they refuse to fulfill it. They know how to make you happy, but prefer disappointing you.Think deeply about these five "would be good" things narcissists promise but fail to deliver...and, they do it very deliberately. There are real deal-breakers...when you actually see them. Listen in. Don't be fooled by the promises!!!HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:5 good things that Hijackals promise you, that they won't deliver onWhy you need to be VERY clear that you are thinking you are being promised something that you will NEVER receive....except for a hot minute now and again!Why mutuality is critical to a loving relationshipThe most unlikely promises that won't be fulfilled....so sad.I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaFOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#narcissistsbreakpromises #canrustanarcissist #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist #anri-social#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuseSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
You want to be able to trust a person, right? It's natural. It's healthy. Yet, you cannot trust narcissists or any variation of Hijackal. And, I know you want to. In this episode, hear the many ways you CANNOT trust them, even when you want to. Hear ways you convince yourself you can believe them, and why you must stop. Yep, it's hard sometimes. But, if you trust them, you're diving into crazy-making even further...and, that's never a good thing. Join in.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Trust is a hallmark of a healthy relationship....and relationships with narcissists are unhealthy!Why Hijackals are untrustworthy....narcissists, tooHow narcissists take advantage of you...over and over and over.Why narcissists won't compromiseStop giving them another chance.I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaFOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#nevertrustanarcissst #canitrustanarcissist #donttrustanarcissist #wasteyearsofmylife #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist #anri-social#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuseSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Little by little, nasty, bitter, unfair things start becoming part of the day-to-day with a narcissist. Those Hijackals are relentless in wearing you down and getting their way, right?You might pass it off as another "little thing to avoid" to reduce the abuse. WHAT? You're doing things to reduce the abuse rather than set boundaries and making plans to leave? SEE HOW SNEAKY IT ALL IS? Don't miss these ten main "features" of narcissistic emotional abuse!!HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:You can get used to being emotionally abused...and, that's not good!Failing to see abuse as abuse is dangerous.Among the top ten forms of frequent emotional abuse10 ways you can get used to being emotionally abused without actually noticingI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaFOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#emotionallyabused #usedtobeingabused #seeingemotionalabuse #beingusedandabused#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist #anri-social#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuseSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Some Hijackals are subtle, some are sneaky. All are to keep your relationship in chaos, preferably with you giving in to their whims, demands, and expectations. Most of all, they want to be in charge and in control of all the things. Be informed. See them for what and who they are.They are always wanting to create a fracas, a commotion, an upset, and a mess. When you can see what they're up to, it's easier to see their ploys, tricks, and defaults. Then you an choose your responses in healthier ways.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Hijackals, narcissists, anti-socials: all need to win and be right27 mean ways they try to keep things chaotic, emotionallyHijackals love a fracas, a noisy disturbance or quarrel, about anythingDo everything in your power to avoid responding with reactive abuseI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaFOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#sneakynarcissist #nastynarcissist #narciccistsaaretroublesome #reativeabuse #seeinganarcissist#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
When you're on guard every minute, hypervigilant about the next accusation, you might think I'm suggesting something impossible...maybe even crazy. I'm not.It's important to recognize that you can stay in charge of yourself, no matter what kind of crazy-making the Hijackal or narcissist engages in.Difficult? Yes, but not impossible. Worthwhile? Definitely!Learn this invaluable approach to taking good care of yourself, even though you may be rattled daily by a Hijackal now.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Be hard on issues, Soft on self.Why Hijackals may NOT harden your heart: you won't give them your permission!Harden your attitude towards the Hijackal, but keep your heart safe.Hijackals don't care who they hurt.Do your best not to take it personally.I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaFOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#hardenmyheart #hardenmyattitude #narcissiststakeandtake #hardenmyattitudetothenarcissist #heartopen#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuseSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
You may think that it's impossible to be "too nice." It's not. It actually can make things worse...and that's just what it does when you're in a relationship with a narcissistic Hijackal.You do all the giving and then, more is expected, right? Not working! Listen in to recognize the ways being "too nice" works against you.Hijackals LOVE to take advantage of someone who will fall all over themselves to keep the Hijackal happy. Remember, though, the Hijackal is dedicated to never being happy for more than a hot minute...if that. Then, it will be right back to blaming you for everything.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:People-pleasing can be part of being "too nice" and can lead to chronic codependencyDon't let someone else's opinion of you matter more than your own opinion on youHijackals will find fault with you no matter how nice you are and how much you do for them5 ways Healthier Humans behave differently than Hijackal HumansI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#beinbtoonice #peoplepleasing #notspeakingup #afraidofdisagreement #feellikeadoormat #tooniceisunhealthy#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuseSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Most people want to believe the stories of others. You want to be able to trust, right? So, you're inclined to be sucked in by plausible stories, excuses, reasons, etc.. Also, you don't want the hassle of their endless denials and turning things on you.Learn how plausibility is the key to turning this into healthier interactions to stop the crazy-making. Listen in and get away.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:plausible = seeming reasonable, probable, or persuasive...or NOT!How a plausible story is a slippery story: could be equally true or untrue"Plausible Deniability" = the sneaky way to deny knowledge of a responsibility or to be accountable for somethingWhy Hijackals like things that have no evidenceAnd, why Hijackals HATE EVIDENCE!Your best antidote to plausible deniability: the personal weather reportI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#plausibledeniability #plausiblelie #plausiblestory #naariccistneedstowin#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuseSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
You're a good person. You want to see the best in folks. You are right ready to help someone excuse their poor behavior, and be understanding. Hijackals count on that! They treat you poorly to see how much you'll put up with.It's often not long into the relationship before they're taking up all the space....and you're gasping for air, dying to be heard.BE CLEAR ABOUT THESE 12 TRAITS. See them. Believe them. Don't expect them to change.HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:There are many more than twelve traits of narcissistic HijackalsYou may be too emotionally exhausted to see these clearly anymore, SO it's important to listen to this episodeWhy it's important to recognize these traits and make decisions to set boundaries that keep you saferHow sabotage, undermining, and threats relateWhy "belittling" is SO damagingI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#gaslighting #manipulating #redirectingconversations #projection #sabotage relationship #belittling #narcissistslying #disrespectingapartner#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuseSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Narcissists and other Hijackals are infuriating, frustrating, and crazy-making. You reach the end of your tether and you want to tell them everything that's wrong with them and more. You've likely noticed that nothing good happens when you accuse them of being narcissistic,, point out their flaws, or ask them to change. What's much ore likely to happen is that they explode, spilling their nastiness in every direction. MAXIMUM AGGRESSION. Listen to this episode to understand why and how to stop poking the Hijackal. You'll feel better when you stop. HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Big link between narcissism and aggressionNarcissists don't take much provocation to be nasty, blaming, and shaming.Narcissistic aggression is not caused by you, nor is it your faultHijackals are entitled, thin-skinned, and owners of fragile egos.Both male and female narcissists are equally aggressive , though , it may show up in different ways.Why you are best to step back and observe the Hijackal behavior rather than participate with it.I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#aggressivebehavior #narcissistsareaggressive #passiveaggression #activeaggression #endingaggression #saynotoaggression#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuseSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
You want to believe that love can change people, right? So, you give, give, and give in yet nothing really gets better beyond a half minute. You decide to give more until there is little left of you. Nothing changes...except for getting worse. That's because their decision to change has nothing to do with it And, worse...they have no interest in changing to make things better. Listen in to realize the many reasons WHY this is so, and WHY it's so hard to believe people who think and behave in narcissistic Hijackal ways exist...and see no reason to care how they affect you. ESSENTIAL TO RECOGNIZE!IGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Why you want to believe a narcissistic person can changeHow believing a narcissistic person can change and investing it it robs you of time for healthier thingsHow a Hijackal manipulates you into thinking it's your job to please them and take care of themWhy you might stay TOO LONG in an unhealthy relationship with a narcissistWhy it is essential to see a toxic relationship for what it is: UNHEALTHYI'm here to help. Let's talk soon.RhobertaIntroductory session for new clients only $97FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.comPODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.comNEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.comFACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctorINSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp-------------------------------------------------------------I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,join my Emerging Empowered Community now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community#stopkiddingyourself #believinganarcissist #narcissistbehavesbadly #narcissistsgetworse #getawayfromamarcissist#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuseSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Comments (30)

Rick Carter

Thank you for uploading! Dont get me wrong, I appreciate your uploads more then I can articulate, but I wasn't sure if you were gonna upload this week. Its been a while since your last so I was really hoping you were going to, and you did ❤❤ Thank you again for all your work ❤❤❤

Jul 12th
Reply

Rick Carter

You and I are both laughing because because we know it's true

Jun 28th
Reply

Rick Carter

Im an avid listener of your show ❤ Ive listened to ALL of your shows, multiple times, literally! Im subscribed on YouTube soni get alerted the moment you release a new show. im here on Castrol. i follow you on Facebook and I'm a member of you emerging group.. I ran out of material, so I went back all the way to the beginning of your shows for reference 🤣😂 Im really enjoying them too! Valuable info in your early days!"👏👏👏 I hope you have a great day doctor!

Jun 28th
Reply

Rick Carter

I keep coming back to this episode for reference, time and time again for my daughters mother. Anything titled "Pathological Liar", I'm all ears 👀👀👀

Jun 10th
Reply

Rick Carter

This is good stuff here 👏👏👏 I been dealing with this garbage, verbatim since my divorce started (2016) and finalized (2019). Shes still doing this as I speak right now 5 years later. I don't see this ending anytime soon and I dont have any plans on letting her get away with it either. We have a 5 year old little girl that is my world. I will never turn my back on her and leave her alone with this type if person, so I'm in it for life. Any suggestions on long term game for thus type if behavior is appreciated.

May 10th
Reply (2)

Rick Carter

I'd love to hear a episode on how you CO parented with your ex hijackel

Apr 14th
Reply (1)

Rick Carter

what an eye opener 😳😳😳🥺🥺😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔

Apr 14th
Reply

Rick Carter

Great show and very insightful! Thank you!

Apr 1st
Reply

Mindy Vest

when this is your juvenile child, how do you deal with it?

Mar 22nd
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Rick Carter

I'm not condoning this or justifying this by any means, but did you know that the Bible says the womens body doesn't belong to them and belongs to their spouse? 1 Corinthians 7:4 says that the wife does not have authority over her own body but the husband. Also read Eph 5:24 I bring this up because I hear the word and the topic of marriage being brought up here quite often. You say these people (Hy-Jackels) use this tactic as a weapon. Are you saying Marriage/ the bible has "Hy-jackle tendencies?

Mar 16th
Reply

Rick Carter

I have listened to a lot of these types of podcasts (Narcissistic)... A LOT. This show hits on different things whereas all the others just repeat themselves over and over that really don't help. This is by far the best one I have came across yet. Thank you for everything you touch on, Roberta! Whether its all the descriptions of these kinds of people, or all the different scenarios that may or have came our way. All the way to down to these peoples characteristics and the games they play or why they think the way they do. You truly are a blessing and you are helping people understand why and know it is not their fault and not to blame. keep up the awsome work Roberta and I hope you are having a great day! THABK YOU!

Mar 15th
Reply

Rick Carter

we need more episodes on this topic but on what the alienating parent is doing and how to handle these situations with our kids. I am dealing with this right now and I am all ears to combating parents who are trying to brainwash their kids that the other parent does not love them or are bad or whatever

Sep 21st
Reply

Rick Carter

Any episodes on coparenting with a hijackal and the other parent basically programming the child to work aginst you?

Sep 21st
Reply

Rick Carter

I'd love to get the book (Stop thats crazy making), but in order to get it in audio form you have to own a kindle tablet, which i do not. if anyonevknows about an audio form in another way besides Kindle please let me know! Thank you for all you do here and keep up the amazing work. I love this show!!!

Jul 15th
Reply (2)

Rick Carter

I need more of this! Where can I get more of this???

Jul 13th
Reply

Julie Stalford

is there a episode on guilt tripping on this podcast, if so what number is it please?

Jun 9th
Reply

Uno Mara

Wow..... I was so shocked by how much of this truly resonated. Thank you for explaining these terms and the why behind them. Because I am the black sheep and I have a really hard time relating with my family, other than my brother. It's been tough, and certain circumstances have kept me at home. Some days it's so hard to function in a household like the one I'm in.

Jun 3rd
Reply

OliviaLee

Wow. This conversation brought me to tears. Thank you Susan and Rhoberta.

Apr 28th
Reply

Ronald Williamson

ausom reminder/observe don't obsorb/stop look and listen/ feel except decide/breathe in and then breath it out?

Apr 8th
Reply

Kathy Hammond

I've read several things written by Dr. Shaler but this is the first time I've heard her podcast. I appreciate her civil approach to managing a challenging situation. One thing that stood out in this podcast was the the Hijackal's disruptions of holidays, etc., because their intent is to the be the center of attention. I hadn't considered it from that angle.

Dec 12th
Reply (1)