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Sex and Psychology Podcast
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Sex and Psychology Podcast

Author: Dr. Justin Lehmiller

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The Sex and Psychology Podcast is the sex ed you never got in school—and won’t find anywhere else. Kinsey Institute researcher Dr. Justin Lehmiller takes you on a journey through the psychology of sex and relationships, offering practical tips along the way that can help you take your intimate life to the next level. Learn more on Dr. Lehmiller’s blog at sexandpsychology.com
323 Episodes
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Sexual conflict is inevitable in long-term relationships. It’s virtually impossible for partners to always be erotically in synch with one another at all times over the course of many years together. That’s why everyone fights about sex from time to time. In today’s show, we’re going to explore the most common sexual conflicts that arise in long-term relationships, as well as practical tips on how to solve them. My guest is Dr. Elisabeth Gordon. She is a board-certified psychiatrist who specializes in sexual health. She maintains a New York City based private practice and is also an educator, speaker, researcher, and writer dedicated to advancing sexual health. She has taught at multiple academic institutions around the world, and is a frequent commentator on sexual health topics in the popular media. Some of the topics we cover in this episode include: What’s the most common sex fight? What should you do when one partner wants more sex than the other? How do you tell your partner that you want them to initiate sex more often? What are some ways to tell your partner that the sex you’re having isn’t meeting your needs? How do you deal with a selfish lover? What should you do when masturbation and/or porn use become conflict areas in a relationship? You can check out Elisabeth’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Whether you’re just a few dates in or have been together a long time, it’s time to lighten the mood and have fun with your partner by using Paired. Head over to paired.com/justin to get a 7-day free trial and 25% off if you sign up for a subscription. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Today, more people identify as LGBTQ+ than ever before. However, this is largely due to a big increase in the number of persons identifying as bisexual. So in this episode, we’re going to dive into a recent study published in The Journal of Sex Research that investigates the rise in bisexuality over time. We’ll discuss different ways of defining and measuring bisexuality, why women seem more likely to be bisexual than men, and much more. My guest is Martin Monto, a Professor of Sociology at University of Portland specializing in the intersection between gender, sexuality, and public health, with an additional focus on society’s impact on the natural environment. Monto has an extensive publication record focusing on social aspects of sexuality and the sex industry, including notable publications on sex buyers, webcam users, “hooking up,” and bisexuality. Some of the topics we cover in this episode include: What are some of the different ways that scientists have defined bisexuality? How many people today identify as gay, lesbian, or bisexual—and how have these numbers changed over time? With the rise in bisexual identification, has there also been a rise in bisexual behavior? How do rates of bisexuality differ for older versus younger adults? Why might more women identify as bisexual than men? You can connect with Martin here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. Xersizer is the world’s only FDA regulated hydropump and it provides a discreet and effective way to exercise an area of the body that’s neglected in the gym. To learn more and get a 20% discount off of your purchase, visit xersizer.com/SAP. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest. Heart photo by Jiroe (Matia Rengel) on Unsplash.
The penis doesn’t always do what you want it to do. For example, sometimes you might want an erection but can’t get one, or maybe you’ll reach orgasm faster than you’d like. These things happen. But when does a penis problem cross the line into becoming a sexual difficulty in need of treatment? That’s what we’re going to be exploring today. We’re going to talk about common male sexual health issues, including how they are clinically defined and treated, as well as tips for maintaining penile health as you age. I am joined once again by Melissa Hadley Barrett. Melissa is a nurse practitioner and sexologist, and the founder of Restorative Sexual Health Clinic and Restore Men’s Intimate Health. She is also co-founder of The Penis Project Podcast. Some of the specific questions we answer in this episode include: What is Peyronie’s disease, and how would someone know if they had it? What “counts” as having premature ejaculation? How can men last longer in bed? What’s the difference between a sexual dysfunction and a sexual disappointment? What are some different ways of dealing with erectile dysfunction? You can check out Melissa’s website and YouTube channel to learn more. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
How much do you know about the penis? You may think you already know everything there is to know, but you probably don’t. That’s why today’s episode is going to dive into what you don’t know about the penis. Some of the topics we’re going to cover include the immense variability that exists in penile sensitivity and sensation, as well as what we know about multiple orgasms in men. My guest today is Melissa Hadley Barrett. Melissa is a nurse practitioner and sexologist, and the founder of Restorative Sexual Health Clinic and Restore Men’s Intimate Health. She is also co-founder of The Penis Project Podcast. Some of the questions we explore in this episode include: What is the average penis size? Why is flaccid penis size not necessarily a reliable predictor of erect size? If there aren’t any bones in the penis, can you still break or fracture an erection? What are the benefits of using vibrators for men’s sexual health and function? How common is it for men to experience erectile dysfunction? You can check out Melissa’s website and YouTube channel to learn more. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. Xersizer is the world’s only FDA regulated hydropump and it provides a discreet and effective way to exercise an area of the body that’s neglected in the gym. To learn more and get a 20% discount off of your purchase, visit xersizer.com/SAP. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Was it consensual kink or sexual abuse? This question is at the heart of a growing number of legal cases. Unfortunately, people sometimes try to claim consensual kink as a cover for sexual violence, a trend my guest today refers to as “the bogus BDSM defense.” In this show, we’re going to dive into a few recent cases where the bogus BDSM defense has been deployed, as well as the signs that can help us to distinguish between consensual kink and sexual violence. I am joined once again by Andrea Zanin, author of the new book Post-Nonmonogamy and Beyond. They are also co-author of the new edition of the book More than Two. Andrea blogs at sexgeek.wordpress.com, and has authored a book chapter on the bogus BDSM defense. Some of the topics we cover in this episode include: What does the “bogus BDSM defense” look like? Is this defense ever successful in terms of avoiding conviction or leading to a reduced sentence? How does the bogus BDSM defense intersect with race and respectability politics? How can we prevent people from using claims of consensual kink as a cover for sexual violence? You can check out Andrea’s website to read more of their work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
When people become nonmonogamous, they don’t always stay nonmonogamous for life. Sometimes people decide to take a temporary break from it. Other times, people stop practicing it altogether because it’s just not what they want or need anymore. Maybe they only want to pursue one relationship right now, or perhaps they just want to be single. So what does a post nonmonogamous life look like? That’s what we’re going to be talking about in this episode. My guest today is Andrea Zanin, author of the new book Post-Nonmonogamy and Beyond. They are also co-author of the new edition of the book More than Two. Andrea blogs at sexgeek.wordpress.com, where they created the 10 Rules for Happy Nonmonogamy and coined the term “polynormativity.” Some of the topics we cover in this episode include: What does post nonmonogamy look like? What are the main reasons people become post-nonmonogamous? Is post-nonmonogamy a temporary or permanent state? In what ways can post-nonmonogamy be rewarding? In what ways it is challenging? You can check out Andrea’s website to read more of their work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
A common theme in many people’s sexual fantasies is being “forced” to have sex. In the world of kink, this is widely known as consensual non-consent (CNC). So why is this such a popular sexual interest? In today’s show, we’re going to explore the psychology behind it. We’re also going to delve into some of the political aspects of CNC fantasies and discuss how the growing emphasis on affirmative and enthusiastic consent might paradoxically be making these fantasies more popular than ever. I am joined once again by Tina Horn, author of the new book Why Are People Into That?: A Cultural Investigation of Kink. This book is based on her long-running podcast of the same name. Tina is also a comic book writer and host of the Wondery phone sex podcast titled Operator. Some of the specific questions we answer in this episode include: What does a CNC fantasy look like? What are some reasons people might be into CNC? What is the role of fear in sexual arousal? Why do people often struggle with feelings of shame around CNC fantasies, and how can they come to terms with it? You can visit Tina’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
People have the potential to develop fetishes for virtually anything. If you can think of it, somebody probably has a fetish for it! However, fetishes remain among the most misunderstood and stigmatized sexual interests. So in today’s show, we’re going to dive into the world of fetishes and dispel some common misconceptions about them. We’ll also discuss a new way of thinking about fetishes, as well as tips for how to communicate about fetish interests with a partner. My guest is Tina Horn, author of the new book Why Are People Into That?: A Cultural Investigation of Kink. This book is based on her long-running podcast of the same name. Tina is also a comic book writer and host of the Wondery phone sex podcast titled Operator. Some of the topics we cover in this episode include: What is the advantage of thinking about fetishes as “something I have a taste for?” Where do fetishes come from? How important is it to know where fetishes come from? Does their origin really matter? Does having a fetish necessarily involve an exclusive attraction to a specific object? How can people incorporate fetishes into their sex lives in a healthy way? You can visit Tina’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Imagine for a moment that your partner told you they had a sexually transmitted infection. What should (and shouldn’t) you say or do in that situation?  That’s what we’re going to be talking about in this episode: tips for navigating a partner’s STI disclosure. Some of the topics we’ll explore include tips for keeping the conversation productive and not perpetuating STI stigma, how to manage a relationship where one partner has an STI and the other doesn’t, and what it means when someone in a long-term relationship suddenly tests positive for an STI. I am joined once again Dr. Kayley McMahan, a sexual health scholar and educator. She serves as the Relationship and Sexual Violence Prevention Coordinator at the University of Tennessee, Knoxville, where she also teaches an undergraduate Human Sexuality class. Kayley recently co-authored a comprehensive review article in the Journal of Sex Research focused on STI disclosure. Some of the topics we cover in this episode include: When a parter discloses an STI, how do you keep the conversation positive and productive? How do you manage a herpes, HPV, or HIV infection in dating and relationships? Does a partner suddenly testing positive for an STI necessarily mean they were cheating? Where can people go to learn more about managing and treating STIs? You can find out more about Kayley here and connect with her on LinkedIn here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
A lot of people find it hard to talk to their partners about sex in general. But discussing sexually transmitted infections (STIs) specifically can be even more challenging. It is such a fraught topic that many people who have STIs don’t even tell their partners. That’s why I’ve put together a two-part series for you on STI disclosure. In today’s show, we’re going to discuss how to tell your partner you have an STI. In the next episode, we’re going to explore what to do when your partner tells you they have an STI. My guest today is Dr. Kayley McMahan, a sexual health scholar and educator. She serves as the Relationship and Sexual Violence Prevention Coordinator at the University of Tennessee, Knoxville, where she also teaches an undergraduate Human Sexuality class. Kayley recently co-authored a comprehensive review article in the Journal of Sex Research focused on STI disclosure. Some of the topics we cover in this episode include: At any given point in time, how many people have an STI? How many people who have an STI actually disclose this information? What are the main reasons people with STIs don’t tell their partners about their status? When is the right time to tell a partner that you have an STI? What are some strategies for bringing up the subject of STIs with a partner? You can find out more about Kayley here and connect with her on LinkedIn here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Whether you’re just a few dates in or have been together a long time, it’s time to lighten the mood and have fun with your partner by using Paired. Head over to paired.com/justin to get a 7-day free trial and 25% off if you sign up for a subscription. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
“Life is short, have an affair.” That’s the tagline of Ashley Madison, the infamous online dating service that caters to married people who are looking to commit infidelity. Ever since its launch in 2002, it has been the subject of endless controversy, culminating in a widely reported data breech in 2015. A Netflix documentary series titled Ashley Madison: Sex, Lies, and Scandal recently premiered and it is fascinating! In today’s show we’re going to dive into this series and talk all about infidelity, including why so many people cheat in the first place. I am joined once again by Ashley Weller (who bears no relation to Ashley Madison). She is a Human Sexuality and Health Psychology Professor at Chapman University in Southern California. She also has a podcast called What’s your Position that tackles issues surrounding sexuality, relationships, life, and love from a comedic yet educational point of view. Some of the specific topics we explore include: How do men’s and women’s reasons for infidelity differ? Why are so many people willing to risk everything in order to have an affair? What impact did the Ashley Madison hack have on the company and its users? Why does Ashley Madison seem more popular than ever despite the hack that destroyed so many people’s lives? You can find Ashley on Instagram and check out more of her work by visiting her Linktree. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
MILFs are having a moment. Sexy moms have been a fixture in the popular media for decades, but they’ve never been more popular than they are now. So what’s behind the appeal of the MILF? And is all of the attention they’re receiving objectifying or empowering to women?  Today, we’re going to trace the history of hot moms in the popular media and explore the rise of the MILF. We’re also going to dive into season two of the popular dumpster fire of a television series known as MILF Manor (for a recap of season one, see episodes 223 and 224). My guest is Ashley Weller, a Human Sexuality and Health Psychology Professor at Chapman University in Southern California. She also has a podcast called What’s your Position which tackles issues surrounding sexuality, relationships, life, and love from a comedic yet educational point of view. Some of the specific topics we cover in this episode include: When did our cultural fascination with hot moms begin? What are the most common critiques of MILF portrayals in the media? How are broader changes in society and the social structure related to the rise in MILF popularity? How is season 2 of MILF Manor different from the first? How is MILF Manor changing the conversation about MILFs? You can find Ashley on Instagram and check out more of her work by visiting her Linktree. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Xersizer is the world’s only FDA regulated hydropump and it provides a discreet and effective way to exercise an area of the body that’s neglected in the gym. To learn more and get a 20% discount off of your purchase, visit xersizer.com/SAP. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Physical intimacy is one of the keys to maintaining healthy and satisfying relationships. But I’m not just talking about sex. Non-sexual physical intimacy is just as important, if not more so! In today’s show, we’re going to explore why touch is so powerful and tips for introducing more touch into your relationships. We’ll also discuss why, paradoxically, intimate partners often retreat from touch at the times they need it the most—and how to deal with this. I am joined once again by Chris Maxwell Rose and Charlotte Mia Rose, the co-creators of PleasureMechanics.com. They have devoted their lives to generating online resources to support folks in cultivating more erotic pleasure, joy, and connection. They also run a podcast called Speaking of Sex with the Pleasure Mechanics. Some of the specific questions we answer in this episode include: Why do we need touch, and why are so many of us “touch-starved?” How can we open the door to intimate touch when we feel stressed? How can lovers experience more affection and physical intimacy in their relationships? What are some things that people can do to become better at both giving and receiving touch? To learn more, sign up for the Pleasure Mechanics Erotic Touch Mastery course. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Most people say that they find oral sex to be a pleasurable activity, but that doesn’t mean that people always enjoy giving or receiving it. A quick search on social media reveals countless posts from people reporting on bad experiences with oral sex, so let’s talk about how to have better oral. In today’s show, we’re going to explore tips and techniques for amazing oral sex. We’ll also discuss what to do if you find yourself getting bored giving oral sex, how to make sixty-nining fun, and so much more. My guests today are Chris Maxwell Rose and Charlotte Mia Rose, the co-creators of PleasureMechanics.com. They have devoted their lives to generating online resources to support folks in cultivating more erotic pleasure, joy, and connection. They also run a podcast called Speaking of Sex with the Pleasure Mechanics. Some of the specific questions we answer in this episode include: Why is the idea that there’s just one perfect recipe for oral sex a myth? How do you deal with common roadblocks that interfere with your ability to enjoy performing oral sex, such as boredom or discomfort? What are some new positions or approaches that can elevate your oral experiences? What should you do if oral sex feels like it has become a duty or obligation instead of something you love to do? What are the essential factors that make oral sex great? To learn more, sign up for the Pleasure Mechanics Oral Sex Mastery course. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Xersizer is the world’s only FDA regulated hydropump and it provides a discreet and effective way to exercise an area of the body that’s neglected in the gym. To learn more and get a 20% discount off of your purchase, visit xersizer.com/SAP. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Did you know that July 31 is National Orgasm Day? That’s right—there’s actually a holiday dedicated to the big O! Unfortunately, we don’t get the day off of work, but we’re going to celebrate anyway. In commemoration of National Orgasm Day’s impending arrival, we’re going to be talking all about orgasms today. In this show, we’re going to revisit one of my favorite conversations on the topic: my interview with Dr. Barry Komisaruk which originally aired back in 2022. Barry is a Distinguished Professor of Psychology at Rutgers University-Newark. He has published more than 180 research articles and has co-authored and edited five books, including “The Science of Orgasm,” which has been published in 7 languages. Some of the topics we explore include: How is an orgasm defined scientifically? What’s really happening in the brain during an orgasm? Do orgasms feel the same or different across genders? Why do some people experience orgasms from nipple or other non-genital stimulation? Can you teach yourself to have multiple orgasms? Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest
Social media is increasingly where people are turning in order to learn about sexual health, from dealing with sex problems to coping with infertility. But is it giving us accurate information? Not so much. In today’s show, we’re going to tackle sexual health misinformation on TikTok and Instagram. We’re going to dive into what the science really says about popular sexual health claims on social media and talk about how to use these platforms in a more mindful way. I am joined once again by Dr. Justin Dubin, a Urologist who specializes in men’s health at Memorial Healthcare System in South Florida. Dr. Dubin is passionate about men’s health and education and is co-host of the podcast Man Up: A Doctor’s Guide to Men’s Health. Some of the topics we cover in this episode include: How can social media be helpful (and harmful) to our sexual health? Why do the most popular social media posts often contain the least accurate information? What are some common things people get wrong about infertility and sexual dysfunction on social media? What is “semen retention” and why is there so much bogus information about it on social media? How can we become more informed consumers of social media? You can learn more about Dr. Dubin’s work here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Xersizer is the world’s only FDA regulated hydropump and it provides a discreet and effective way to exercise an area of the body that’s neglected in the gym. To learn more and get a 20% discount off of your purchase, visit xersizer.com/SAP. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
A growing number of men seem to be in a panic about their testosterone levels. Social media platforms are full of posts from guys who are convinced that they don’t have enough of this hormone in their bodies and that their sex and dating lives are suffering because of it. The result is that more and more men are seeking to boost their testosterone, and companies are eager to cash in on this by selling hormone supplements. But do these guys really have low testosterone in the first place? Are some of them pushing their hormones to dangerous levels? Today’s show is all about what men need to know about testosterone. My guest is Dr. Justin Dubin, a Urologist who specializes in men’s health at Memorial Healthcare System in South Florida. Dr. Dubin is passionate about men’s health and education with the goal of improving the lives of men and their partners. He co-hosts the podcast Man Up: A Doctor’s Guide to Men’s Health. Some of the topics we cover in this episode include: What’s fueling all of this anxiety over testosterone levels in men? What percentage of men actually have low testosterone? Are there any risks of having too much testosterone in the body? How can men maintain healthy testosterone levels as they age? Is there any truth to the claim that abstaining from masturbation boosts testosterone? You can find more about Dr. Dubin’s work here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
For today’s show, we’re diving into more listener questions! I’m going to answer two questions that popped up in my podcast voicemail that I thought were really interesting. The first deals with falling asleep during sex and/or foreplay. Is that normal? And what are the reasons why that might happen? The second question involves whether premature orgasm is something that only men can experience, or if it can happen to women as well. So what does the research say on it? How many women experience this, and is there anything they can do if it’s interfering with their pleasure? Let’s talk about it! Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. Make sure to check out our previous episode where we respond to listener questions as well, which you can find here.  *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Xersizer is the world’s only FDA regulated hydropump and it provides a discreet and effective way to exercise an area of the body that’s neglected in the gym. To learn more and get a 20% discount off of your purchase, visit xersizer.com/SAP. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
Stuck in a dating rut? It might be time for a new approach! In today’s show, we’re going to learn how to master the art of mindful dating, which involves taking a more intentional approach to relationship development. We’re going to explore the six pillars of mindful dating and how to put them into practice. We will also discuss tips for cultivating deeper connections and ways to increase your chances of finding lasting happiness. I am joined once again by Marie Thouin, PhD, a dating and relationship coach and author of the new book What Is Compersion? Understanding Positive Empathy in Consensually Non-Monogamous Relationships. Marie is the founder of Love InSight, a mindful dating and relationship coaching practice. Some of the topics we cover in this episode include: What does it mean to engage in mindful dating? Why is it important to clarify your “dating vision” when looking to find a partner? How do you build an empowering self-concept, and why is this important to do when dating? When using dating apps, what does “mindful swiping” look like? How can you learn to communicate in order to connect? You can check out Marie’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Whether you’re just a few dates in or have been together a long time, it’s time to lighten the mood and have fun with your partner by using Paired. Head over to paired.com/justin to get a 7-day free trial and 25% off if you sign up for a subscription. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
When you take pleasure in your partner’s pleasure or happiness, this is known as compersion. It’s a form of positive empathy that many people in non-monogamous relationships experience. However, some people seem to have an easier time feeling compersion than others. So can it be learned? And should compersion always be a goal in non-monogamy? Let’s talk about it! My guest is Marie Thouin, PhD, a dating and relationship coach and author of the new book: What Is Compersion? Understanding Positive Empathy in Consensually Non-Monogamous Relationships. Marie is the founder of Love InSight, a mindful dating and relationship coaching practice where she supports people of all backgrounds and relational orientations to create intentional and vibrant love lives. Some of the topics we cover in this episode include: Why does compersion seem to come easier to some people? Does our ability to experience compersion change with age? Can you learn how to feel compersion if you’ve never felt it before? What are some different approaches to learning compersion? You can check out Marie’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Xersizer is the world’s only FDA regulated hydropump and it provides a discreet and effective way to exercise an area of the body that’s neglected in the gym. To learn more and get a 20% discount off of your purchase, visit xersizer.com/SAP. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
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Comments (7)

Amanda Osuna

I actually have a great orgasm alone way beter than with a partner. It can be very intense. however there are times when I feel no stimulation at all and unable to climax. Great show I always learn alot , keep up the good work.

Nov 14th
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P M

Men are not flocking to Andrew Tate because they feel rejected by society. They're doing it because the patriarchy has raised them to hate women. Now that women are starting to push back on all bullshit (as they've always done), these men who already hated women flock to Andrew Tate because he encourages their pre-existing misogynistic ways of thinking..

Oct 27th
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Ainslie crawford

only 12 mins in and have already learnt a LOT that I should be thinking about

Feb 21st
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Sara MacKay

great episode! gave me some good ideas!

Sep 5th
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Kaveh Karami

such a great and informative conversation, love your work as always

Jun 4th
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Sanne Høybye

Love Dr. Lehmiller! As a psychologist I m learning so much about human natur in a fun an easy going way :)

May 20th
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Shelle M

Yes definitely get that moment of clarity. You took the words out of my mouth 'clarity' I was thinking as you started describing that. Definitely a happy brain moment.

Jan 22nd
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