Speaking with Confidence with Cat Matson: communication coaching for humble leaders

In the summer season of Speaking with Confidence I’m revisiting some of my, and your, favourite episodes.And this one is one of my all time favourites.In this conversation with Kate Toon, digital marketing expert extraordinaire, author and most recently, bookshop owner, we unpack how to build the confidence to be DISLIKED.Yes … how to get comfortable with rejection so we can go and do our thing, anyway. Because really, when we say we’re ‘scared’ of public speaking … it’s not the fear of speaking, it’s the fear of judgement and rejection.Kate Toon has over 15 years of business experience sitting snugly in her gym tights, once completed 40 speaking events in just one year, and has been a resident expert on Kochie’s Business Builders - she has confronted this fear over and over again. And, as she explains in our chat, while she’s not necessarily ‘confident’ in being disliked, she’s got some great strategies to get herself on stages, on TV and on billboards anyway. Listen in to hear Kate’s thoughts on : Getting comfortable with being disliked Dealing with random, rude emails that are explicit in their dislike Being contrarian and authentic to stand out in the crowd The value of the mundane in building a business The role of hormones in fear, and how to manage them If you want to know about my new program, Unshakeable: Overcoming Imposter Syndrome, message me here (I had to remove my email address because of the overwhelming spam emails!)To get my weekly musings on all things confidence, impact and authenticity, subscribe hereTo learn more about the fabulousness that is Kate Toon, visit her website - https://www.katetoon.com/

Welcome to the summer season of Speaking with Confidence with Cat Matson, where I’m sharing some of my favourite and most popular episodes.This week I’m revisiting my interview with Denise Duffield-Thomas, a Money Mindset Mentor, author and host of the wildly popular and successful Money Bootcamp, where she has supported more than 10,000 people overcome their money mindset gremlins.Denise epitomises what it means to make an impact at scale, while still maintaining your authenticity. She is delightfully down-to-earth, honest and, well, ‘normal’ 😉I invited her onto the show to talk about how she’s built a business using speaking - on stages and on her podcast - despite the fact that she doesn’t really like public speaking! And, we had such a delicious conversation talking about all sorts of things.In this gorgeously real, insightful and authentic chat, we explore how Denise chooses to use her voice, her way, so that it works with her current phase of life and business and leans into her strengthsListen in to hear:Denise’s preparation rituals for calming her nerves before a big presentationWhy Denise doesn’t like keynotes and how instead she reframes those invitations invitations into a style that works for herDenise’s journey in moving from delivering free presentations to paid onesHow Denise stays on track in presentations, and avoids those ADHD rabbit holes Why Denise enjoys spontaneous presentations and discussions over prepped, rehearsed onesHow to trust the spontaneous presentation style will deliver value for your audience AND be safe for youWhy public speaking, in whatever format you choose, is a powerful way to share your voice and why we’re both such advocates for women finding theirsThe lessons Denise took away from our conversationResources and links mentioned in this episodeIf you’re keen to know more about Unshakeable: Overcoming Imposter Syndrome, email me at cat[@]catmatson.com.auIf you're new to this podcast, and want to the quick start guide to Speaking with Confidence, listen to this 'Start Here' playlistConnect with Denise Duffield-Thomas on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/denisedt/Website - https://www.denisedt.com/ Chill & Prosper Podcast - Connect with me onInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/catmatson/ LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/catmatson/Website - https://www.impactfulpresenters.com/

Sales conversations tend to trip up even the most confident of communicators - we don’t want to feel salesy or pushy, we don’t want to be rejected and of course, we still have our sales targets to reach.Rather than just talk about this in theory, today’s episode you’re getting to listen in on a real confident communication coaching call that I had with a small business owner.Caitlin runs a successful pet photography business; she now has a team of photographers capturing beautiful photos of families and their furry friends. And, like many small business owners, Caitlin was uncomfortable with her sales process and conversations.Listen in to hear:How to shift your mindset from sales is ‘icky’ and ‘pushy’ to sales is a form of serviceHow to use other communication techniques, like beginning with the end in mind, to reduce confusion and take your clients on a sales journey that feels goodDifferent ways to respond to objections, and anticipate objections so they can be incorporated into the conversationHow to package up your offers, and options, so they feel natural and easy for your clients to buyWhy speaking to your full stops, in full, complete sentences, rather than filling the silence with more words, is far more powerful than we realiseIf you’d like a FREE Confident Communication Coaching Session, book here.If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a rating or review, or share it with your friends and colleagues.To ask me a question, connect with me on instagram at https://www.instagram.com/catmatson/To have a look at Caitlin’s gorgeous pet portraits, visit her website - https://ragamuffinpetphotography.com.au/ 

"I want to stop rambling" is the number one 'problem' people come to me to solve.But what if your 'rambling' is actually how you process information, make sense of things and form your opinions.If you're a verbal processor like me, it's not a flaw that needs to be fixed, in fact, it's the very thing that helps you see what others don't. The issue isn't the rambling - that's part of your process - the issue is not confusing your audience as you think aloud.Listen in to hear:how I discovered I was a verbal processor (and how it's different to people who AREN'T out-loud thinkers)why verbal processing shows up as ramblinghow you can still 'ramble' in professional settings without losing your audienceAlso in this episode I have a little chat about my refreshed approach to content creation as I move away from algorithm-focused techniques and back to human-focused techniques.Mentioned in this episodeMy substack - https://catmatson.substack.com/ My email newsletter - https://www.impactfulpresenters.com/f/how-to-stop-ramblingIf want to chat with me - best way is via substack (above), Instagram or LinkedIn

Concerned your umms and ahhs are undermining your credibility?In this week’s episode I’m answering a listener question about training yourself OUT OF saying ‘ummmm’ and ‘ahhhh’, and also providing my thoughts on whether umms and ahhs are really as bad as we think.Listen in to hear:Why you might want to ‘chill out’ when it comes to your use of umms and ahhsHow silence, and ‘speaking to your full stops’ can be a useful way to stop using filler wordsSome alternative filler words or phrases that will engage your audience and give your mind time to ‘catch up’My controversial take on another key question that some speaking coaches says undermines your credibilityWhy being on message is more important than any umm or ahh you might useWant my full lesson on how to stop umming and ahhhing? Visit - Want to ask a question for a future podcast - connect with me on LinkedIn or Instagram here.Join my Impact Club for high touch support, guidance, coaching and community for humble leaders.

‘How much of yourself do you share?’ and ‘how to make a speech engaging’ are the questions I’m answering in this week’s episode.Storytelling, particularly lived experience storytelling, is easily THE BEST way to make your speeches engaging. But how personal is too personal, how much of yourself do you share?Listen in to hear:How to balance the line between misery porn or self-indulgence, and stories that inspire and empowerWhy framing your stories through the lens of the audience is incredibly importantHow to tell your stories to take your listeners on an emotional journey that leaves them ready to take desired action (rather than leaving them a broken, helpless mess)How to manage that doubt of ‘do people really want to hear my stories?’Where to find other lived experience storiesJoin my IMPACT CLUB if you’re an impact-minded humble leader, looking for support on messaging, strategy and mindset as you work to make your dent in the universe, in your way.For more on how to showcase your talents in your lived experience stories, listen to episode 140.And for that episode on misery porn (thank goodness it exists!), check out episode 60, Authenticity, Misery Porn and Stories of Happiness.

Ever rocked up to speak at an event, expecting a lectern, or a certain kind of microphone, and the set-up was NOT as you expected?Or you were forced to use a headset mic that just felt weird, or a lapel mic that kept slipping?Well, in today’s episode I’m talking about how to manage just these situations!Listen in to hear:The pros and cons of using a lecternWhat you want to consider if you choose NOT to use a lecternHow to ‘show up’ if you are using a lectern, particularly if you’re ‘vertically-challenged’The different kind of microphones and how to prepare not just your presentation but your outfits so they work on the dayHow to prepare for your stage WELL ahead of presentation day!Join my IMPACT CLUB if you’re an impact-minded humble leader, looking for support on messaging, strategy and mindset as you work to make your dent in the universe, in your way. Get all the details here.

Want to know how to pitch to speak at a TEDx talk?Listen up, because that’s the exact question I’m answering today.A listener has set herself a challenge of speaking at a TEDx event and wants to know how to pitch her talk.Listen in to hear:Whether a TEDx event is the right platform for youIf it is, how to pitch yourselfHow TEDx speaker selection really happens, and what you need to do to be noticedOther events that might serve your purposes betterHow to pitch for themLinks mentioned in this episode:The Impact Club - where thoughtful business owners, community leaders and corporate hippies are supported to make their dent in the universe, in their way.Why I don’t like TED talks - episode 3.How to find stages to speak on - episode 51.How to pitch yourself for speaking opportunities - episode 135.

Are you hiding, or not speaking up, because you’re concerned people might disagree with you?Well, chances are, someone will! After all, if they already agreed with you, you wouldn’t need to say what you have to say, right?So in this episode I’m sharing some techniques to manage disagreements and conflict.Listen in to hear:Why disagreements are not as bad as you thinkHow conflict is NOT tied to your professional value, though, how you manage it could very well increase your professional reputationHow to pace out objections to dissipate conflict before it happensHow to use agreements frames to manage and acknowledge differing opinions as they ariseWhy getting comfortable with conflict is a really powerful skill to have if you want to influence changeBook NOW for the Goldilocks effect.Ask me a question here and I’ll answer in an upcoming episode.Listen to episode 97 - Building the confidence to NOT be liked, a fabulous interview with Kate Toon.

Ever feel like you’re tired of the sound of your own voice? Or the sound of your message? But you’re still not making the impact you want?Yep, I get it.Influence and making a difference is an endurance sport, so in this episode I’m sharing my top 3 ways to have making long term impact feel easier.Listen in to hear:How you can plan out your long term influence using the same techniques you might use for a presentationHow I influenced elected officials and other stakeholders through the smallest of conversationsWhy connecting your personal elevator pitch and ‘what you do’ stories to your long term impact outcomes can be a powerful way to weave your message in everything you doHow to shift from feeling like your nagging your teenagers to being powerful and impactful in your messagingWhy patience and self-compassion is required, in spades, to make long term impactBook NOW for the Goldilocks effect.Ask me a question here and I’ll answer in an upcoming episode.Episode 140 - How to showcase your talents (and make long term influence) with the storytelling canvas.

How do you recover a presentation where your slides don’t work, you’re not feeling great, and when you see audience members sleeping during your presentation?Well, that’s exactly the scenario Lauren experienced recently, and so I’m providing some guidance and answers to help her feel a little better about the whole thing … and what to do if it ever happens again.Listen in to hear:How to hack your preparation if you’ve been unwell or just don’t have time to prepareMy hot tips for slides that work that I’ve learned the hard way after years and years of tech hiccupsHow to wake up sleepy audience members - really - without sounding like a cranky school teacherEngagement techniques to beat the post-lunch, post-conference-drinks slumpBook NOW for the Goldilocks effect.Ask me a question and I’ll answer in an upcoming episode.Other episodes mentionedEpisode 164 - How to Engage Your AudienceAndEpisode 74 - the powerful frame your thinking method (how to write your speaking notes)

In honour of World Smile Day today I want to share the simplest, and most under-rated way to boost your confidence … Yes, SMILINGBefore you think, ‘oh, that’s ridiculous, if it were that simple … ‘Consider this a little gift to you to make you smile today.Listen in to hear:Why smiling really does make you feel more confidentMy little experiment, that you can do while listening to prove the power of smilingThe backstory of world smile day, and how it’s a thingWhy sometimes, it’s the simple things (like smiling) that are often the best ;)Register NOW for my Goldilocks Effect workshop.Other episodes mentioned:Episode 158 - How to ground yourself before a gig.Episode 11 - How to calm your nerves, once and for all.Ask me a question, and I’ll answer it in an upcoming episode. Send me a DM on Instagram.

Does it ever feel like your brain and mouth are out-of-sync? You know what you want to say but your mouth just doesn’t play along?That’s exactly the experience that’s been described by a regular listener, and they’ve asked me for some tips:“You know, as much as I prepare myself to aid my confidence, it always feels like the right words won’t come out when presenting.  Of course I am nervous, probably more than most but I know that presenting clearly is so important ( perhaps this thinking makes it worse?)Anyway, I’ll do what I can to calm my nerves and tell myself to relax but what my brain thinks versus what comes out are just not in sync!I end up constantly correcting what I said which completely destroys the message.Either I’m losing my mind or I just need some advice or skills to almost switch into gear before presenting”This is SUCH a common challenge!Listen in to hear:The biggest mistake we make when this happens, and what to do insteadWhy it’s actually not about the wordsHow to shift your focus to what your audience needs and wants from you, rather than obsessing over the perfect wordsWhy you don’t want to ‘correct’ yourself, instead, focus on connection (don’t correct, connect)Why you can trust that you know your stuffIf you’d like me to answer your question on a future episode, chat with me on instagram.Get my weekly newsletter here.And if you’re listening before 12.30pm AEST on Thursday 25 September, register for my Elevator Pitch Practise Session here.

Ever been in the audience at a conference, asked a question of one of the speakers, and got completely tangled up in giving context?Well, that’s EXACTLY what I’m addressing today - how to ask questions FROM the audience in a way that elevates you, gets the answer you want and doesn’t get you all tangled up.This is in response to a listener question who saidMany times I hear questions in presentations be asked with a lead-in that links some of the themes of the talk to the question about to be asked. However each time I try to do this I really seem to make a mess of the lead-in and then by the time I get around to asking a question the speaker is so confused about what I’m asking so we just have this awkward exchange where I repeat the lead in and question but get super nervous which makes things seemingly worse.Listen in to my (slightly rambly) answer to learn:How to frame a question in your mind, firstHow to connect it to what the speaker was sayingWhy it’s easy to over-think our questions, and how I do it tooThe difference between a general question that will benefit everyone in the audience, vs an advice question that relates to youHow asking these kinds of questions is a powerful networking and profile building strategyRegister for my Elevator Pitch Practise Session here.If you’d like me to answer your question on a future episode, chat with me on instagram.Get my weekly newsletter here.

“Is it realistic to do a 20 minute speech without notes?”, that’s the question I’m asking in this week’s Speaking with Confidence podcast.It’s a myth that we need to memorise our speeches, and it’s also a risk to take a stage with a script or highly detailed notes. The more details in our notes the more we’re looking at the lectern, instead of connecting with our audience. Regular listeners will be familiar with my ‘post-it note’ method, where I encourage the use of a handful of post-its to keep you on track and on message, while giving you space to flow with your presentation.Listen in to hear my answer to Sharon’s question, including:Why saying LESS really is moreHow to use your time in a 20 minute presentationWhy what you say at the end of your presentation is actually more important than what you say in the middleWhy it’s actually a mistake to focus on your content, and what you want to focus on insteadHow to craft a presentation that connects with your audience, delivers your key messages well and keeps it all focused for maximum impactRegister for my Elevator Pitch Practise Session here.If you’d like me to answer your question on a future episode, chat with me on instagram.Get my weekly newsletter here.To learn more about my post-it note method, listen to episode 74 - The Powerful Frame Your Thinking Method.And to learn more about the power of ‘cropping’ your message, listen to episode 85 - Cropping for Focus and Impact.

I was recently asked this question:“How to engage the audience? I love watching speakers who engage the crowd but don't put people on the spot?’Putting people on the spot is NOT an engagement technique and it can often have negative impacts on the audience.So, in this week’s episode I’m sharing my top tips for engaging your audience without singling people out, or putting them on the spot.Listen in to hear:How to build rapport and engagement in your opening statementsMy technique for asking questions that your audience WANTS to respond toImportant body language and hand gestures that invite responses (for both stage and online conversations)How to phrase your questions to elicit audience responsesHow to build engagement momentumCurious about my Impact Club, the collective for humble leaders? See if it’s for you, here.Have a question you’d like to ask me? Chat with me here on Instagram.That episode about your opening 2 questions? Episode 163 - How to make my audience relax (it’s the episode immediately before this one!)

In this episode of Speaking with Confidence with Cat Matson I’m answering another community question: “How can I make my audience relax, and maybe even laugh 😅?”This is such an insightful question … if your audience isn’t relaxed they’re not going to be open to what you have to say.Listen in to hear:My simple technique that you can use in your opening 2 lines to build rapport with your audience and therefore put their minds at easeWhy some simple housekeeping announcements can be really powerful when it comes to putting your audience at easeMy tips for making your audience laugh (and no, it’s not bad dad jokes)Why you need to relax, yourself, if you want your audience to relaxWant to join my FREE SpeakEASY elevator pitch practise session? Register here.Can’t make this one but want to know about the next one? Subscribe to my weekly newsletter, here.Have a question you’d like me to answer? Ask me here.

“How do you quickly prepare when you’re put on the spot?”, that’s the question I’m answering in today’s episode of Speaking with Confidence with Cat Matson.I was recently asked, “How to prep in 2 minutes - I went to a networking event recently and once I got there the host said "ok, we're going around the room and everyone will come up to the front and introduce yourself, your business, and why you're here today" -- pro: I didn't have days to agonise over messing it up, like I would if I knew ahead of time-- con: I was there more to socialise and was totally unprepared to promote my self/businessHow do you not garble it all up?”Such an AWESOME question!Listen in to hear:How to quickly understand the ‘What’s In It For Them’ (WIIFT) of the attendees at the particular function … and how to introduce yourself in a way that’s relevant to themWhy you then want to check in with your WIFFM - your’s ‘What’s In It For Me’ in this particular contextHow to use your elevator pitch, or your ‘I Am … ‘ story to connect their WIFFT with your WIFFMWhy a rigid elevator pitch is NOT the way to goWhy you ALWAYS want to be ready to talk about yourself and your business … and how you can do that with easeMy SpeakEASY Elevator Pitch Practise Session is happening Friday 29 August. Register now.Can’t make this one but want to know about the next one? Subscribe to my weekly newsletter, here.

It’s my birthday … it’s a big milestone birthday … as such, this episode is a little bit different to normal episodes.As I reflect on my career, my business, and my work, the themes of imposter syndrome, humility and authenticity have been percolating … and I wanted to share some of those thoughts today.Listen in to hear:My own ‘I’m not good enough’, ‘who am I to be teaching this’ thoughtsHow the suggestion to write a book has me bumping into all my ‘imposter syndrome stuff’How Jacinda Ardern’s memoir has reminded me of the importance of modelling authenticity, and how we NEVER know how the impact we make on othersArdern’s beautiful reframe of imposter syndromeFREE SpeakEASY Elevator Pitch Practise Session - Friday 29 August - register here.The Impact Club - where humble leaders are supported to make their dent in the universe, in their way.

“How To MC an Event” is the question I’m answering in this week’s episode of Speaking with Confidence … a question asked by Louise in my community.MCing is my favourite speaking format … so I LOVED answering this question!Listen in to hear:What is the role of an MC (and what many people get wrong)How to do an Acknowledgement of Country that is meaningful and DOESN’T sound tokenisticWhy as MC you want to make the experience enjoyable for the audience, and how to do thatWhat to do with those extra long speaker biosHow you can leverage the opportunity to build your profile while you’re MCingTo join me for the upcoming SpeakEASY Elevator Pitch Practise Session, click here.If you have a question you’d like me to answer on this podcast, do so over on Instagram.