The Love Psychologist: Transforming Your Relationships from the Inside-Out

In this introductory episode, Dr. Paulette Sherman explains how your love psychology, defensive styles, past baggage, limiting beliefs and relationship patterns may block your ability to move forward in love, whether you are dating or married.  Examples are given about how you contribute to what is not working in your relationships and how your partners can be mirrors for your growth. 

This episode discusses how we all have defenses that we use without our awareness.  We use them when we are afraid, in order to protect us from being hurt in love.  But, oftentimes these defensive styles create issues in our relationships, whether we are dating or married. They tend to push our partner or potential partner away and stop us from having intimacy and connection. Examples are given about how to identify your defensive style, to observe where it comes from and how to change it.  This opens up your ability to shift from fear into love and to have greater choice about how to move your relationship forward.

This episode explores how our early familial blueprint affects our romantic relationships when we are dating or married.  Our familial blueprint affects us in two ways:  We often unconsciously repeat the dynamics that our parents had with each other in our new relationship because it feels familiar; And, we may also choose partners similar to our opposite-sex parent, because that was what we learned about the opposite sex and how they would treat us. When we don't make the past conscious we are often doomed to repeat it.  So, we can find ourselves acting as our parents did in our marriage or choosing partners with the same characteristics as our parent. In order to create what we want now, we need to become conscious of our old blueprint and create a new one so that we have freedom of choice and can create the relationship we desire. This episode gives examples of how to do this so that you do not repeat the same old unhealthy patterns and can customize your relationship to your own values, lifestyle, personality, and desires.     

This episode explores how our limiting beliefs and relationship baggage can affect our romantic relationships, in dating and in marriage.  If we are not aware of past hurt and betrayals, this can adversely affect our ability to keep our hearts open to our spouse or to someone new.  Dr. Sherman addresses how this issue shows up in her dating coaching and couples therapy sessions and how people can learn to differentiate their past from the present and choose love over fear. In addition, limiting beliefs can create stuckness in relationships.  We often apply those beliefs to our partners and are unwilling to view situations from other perspectives.  Unless we make this conscious, we cannot move forward in new ways.  This episode will teach you how to remove this block to love.

This segment explores how your relationship to the word No can affect your relationships. For example: -How often you say no to your mate's bids for attention is highly predictive of divorce in marriage -Yet being able to hear no when there are differences of opinions is important to relationship success -When dating you can be a hyper-rejector and say no to too many people prematurely and this will hurt your chances at finding love -As a single, you can also be so worried about rejection and hearing no that you take yourself off the playing field! Don't let the above and so much more stop you. Listen to this episode and determine how you get tripped up by the word no so that you can start to work around it and move forward in your relationships and in life. If you want to learn more about identifying and improving negative thinking, you can get my book, 'The Gremlin: How to Shush that Negative Voice in Your Head:' https://www.amazon.com/Gremlin-Tools-Shush-Negative-Voice/dp/0991540522/  You can learn more about Dr. Sherman and her relationship coaching at: www.DrPauletteSherman.com 

The Coronavirus and Dating: How to Love When You’re in a State of Fear? As a psychologist and dating coach, I’m thinking about how this coronavirus scare is currently affecting dating and how that might evolve.  The question on many singles' minds are: Will this coronavirus scare get worse, or perhaps, will it soon be contained, improve and will a vaccine be created? Dating is already often a process fraught with anxiety about the unknown. It can be challenging not to know if you’ll like this stranger or if they’ll like you if you will hear from your dates again, if they have STDs or if you’ll feel physically and emotionally safe with them.  As a dating coach, it can be part of your job to encourage people to put themselves out there, physically and emotionally. Now, psychologically you are adding an additional layer of fear for some singles, because they’re worrying about whether dating may expose them to the Coronavirus.  As a single they have no context for their date, for their date’s travels or health, and Coronavirus carriers can be asymptomatic. Conversely, these aforementioned fears of dating are often on par with the opposite fear that some singles have about not meeting someone and being alone during this pandemic. My intention for this article is to spread love and healing, not fear.  Sometimes making our fears conscious can help us to better normalize and metabolize them and make us feel less alone. Of course, there are also many singles that are still dating and living their lives normally. They have not let fear change their inner or outer view of dating. Some report taking a Zen approach, remarking that we will all probably get the Coronavirus but that hopefully, it won’t be that bad or deadly. Some people are even using humor to lighten this weighty topic and are putting Coronavirus pickup lines on their dating profiles. So, the fears and reactions from singles are mixed. One recent survey said that 33 percent of singles are worried about dating now. On the flip side, one dating app survey reported that dating app signups are up 29 percent.  Some singles are aiming to have a ‘virtual relationship,’ which could be seen as a psychic and physical compromise so that they don’t feel alone but also aren’t physically exposed. Fears can make people contract, take fewer risks and can negatively impact their decision-making. Also, fear can breed more fear through a process called Potentiation, where once you are primed for fear than even benign events can seem scary.  People can to go into Freeze, Fight or Flight response when afraid.  Freezing means they would just stop dating and then decide what to do next.  If you have a Fight response, you’d decide how to directly deal with the threat.  If you tend to Flee or use Flight, you would avoid and work around this threat, like maybe just talking to people online and not in person, or avoiding dating for a while. During this unknown time of the coronavirus, some singles are experiencing a drive to isolate and an opposing one to powerfully connect and bond. It may help to make these fears conscious on both sides of the equation: Some Increased Fears that Singles are having re Dating: Fear of Physical Intimacy- The media has advised, ‘social distance’ and have said that this coronavirus can be passed through a distance of 6 feet, through a cough or bodily fluid.  Where does this leave the dating ritual of, ‘the goodnight kiss?’ It gives a whole new meaning to contraceptives and people have been posting funny pictures of all the outfit getups that people are already wearing about town to protect themselves.  ‘So, how does one look their best, flirt and romantically connect during a date while maintaining safety and social connection?’ Fear of Emotional Intimacy- Some singles fear to connect and get close to someone new when they imagine that person could get sick and die soon. Also, they report being wary of adding the stress of rejection to their plate when they are already feeling anxious.  They say they’d feel better dating at a time when they are feeling happier and more confident. Fear of Public Spaces- Since the media has advised, ‘social distance,’ many singles fear going to group events for singles or otherwise.  This could include concerts, singles events, and crowded bars. This makes it harder to put yourself out there to find love. Fear of the Unknown & Getting Sick- Since there is no solution to getting this virus- no vaccine or antidote yet- some singles are saying that prevention is key. They fear and want to avoid getting sick and fear a lack of control. So, they focus on having a degree of social isolation because it’s what they feel they can do right now. Fear that You’ll Be a Debby Downer- Singles report that it’s hard to date and to be sexy and positive when the Coronavirus is the ‘White Elephant’ in the room. Fear can exacerbate existing anxiety and depression and it can feel unattractive to date while not feeling your best. Some Singles are Having an Increased Desire to Connect & Find Love: To Extend Cuffing Season & Quarantine with a Partner Indefinitely- ‘Cuffing season,’ is a phenomenon where for a period of time in winter singles pair off so that they have someone to stay home and snuggle with.  Now as people may be quarantined, some singles are reporting an increased desire to have that ‘someone special,’ to keep them company at home. To Have that Secure Base- The attachment literature shows that in times of fear, people look to attach and to have that secure base of comfort.  Having that secure base helps people reengage with the world in brave ways.  So, it makes sense that in times of fear like with this virus that the desire to have that primary love bond would increase. The Desire To Be Part of a Team- Dealing with the unknown and changes can feel confusing.  The media has reported new cases, quarantines, hospitalizations, some travel bans, some changes in people working from home, some lay-offs, stock market losses, and many canceled events thus far.  Some people have chosen to follow suggestions to get a month’s worth of food and hand sanitizer, just in case they are quarantined.  Some singles are expressing a desire to have a partner to cope with all these changes and to help them put appropriate plans in place. To Refocus on What Matters Most- Sometimes when big scary events strike, it makes people stop and refocus on their heart’s desire and on what matters most to them.  Maybe they’ve reflexively been focused on work or other pressing matters but they really wanted a life partner and have not focused on it.  Sometimes a scary situation makes them realign their priorities and focus on what matters most to them, like finding love. Physical Closeness & Cuddling Can Calm Fears- Research shows that cuddling can improve sleep, increase oxytocin (the bonding hormone), ease pain, reduce anxiety, boost your immune system, and elevate your mood and more. So, while dating felt confusing enough, you can see why some singles may feel torn about the best ways to proceed with dating now and in the near future. Since I’m a big proponent of love, I hope that people will continue to meet and create happy, lasting relationships. Whether there will be longer virtual relationships, a decline in sex or physical intimacy while dating and more daters taking a hiatus from singles events and dating in general, time will tell. To learn more from Dr. Sherman and to find out about dating and Relationship coaching, go to www.DrPauletteSherman.com  

This episode explores 12 of the ways that the coronavirus can affect your relationship or marriage and it provides some tips about how to address it. As a psychologist that does a lot of couples therapy and a relationship coach who does phone and Skype relationship coaching, I’m aware of what improves and harms marriages. In addition, I’m aware that when stress hits, marriages and relationships can suffer. When my couples are aware that there is a stressful event coming, I tell them to, ‘Get ahead of that train,’ by discussing it ahead of time and to come up with some solutions.  Often this is easier to do when they have experienced this situation before and they know what to expect.  It can be harder when it’s something unknown that’s stressful, like this Coronavirus situation. They don’t know if the school will close, if they will work from home, if the stock market will continue to fall, if they will get sick and be quarantined, etcetera. This episode explores: -Differing Attachment Styles -Minimizers vs. Maximizers -You May Fight More -Figuring Out a Budget -Self-Soothe & Up Your Self-Care  -Create a Family-Minded Emergency Plan -Focus on Health -Address Being in Close Quarters -Your Libido Can Go Down -Have a Fun Weekly Date Night -Old Losses May be Triggered -Mental Health Issues May Arise Hopefully being aware of what these potential issues could arise will enable you to better address them and to work as a team to get through this chapter and to make your relationship even stronger.  To learn more about relationship coaching by phone and Skype from Dr. Sherman, you can go to her website: www.DrPauletteSherman.com

This episode is the first in a 4-part series about how to get control over your negative thinking so that you can shift from fear into love, in life, and in your relationships.  This series on how to improve your negative thinking offers 10 tools to help you shush your negative self-talk and thoughts.  It teaches you to deal with external stressors and negative thoughts internally first, so you can shift the energy in easy ways from the inside-out.  These tools are taken from Dr. Paulette Sherman's new book, 'The Gremlin: 10 Tools to Shush that Negative Voice in your Head.' So, if you want a paperback version to take around with you so you can memorize these tools, please click the link above.  Dr. Sherman felt this series would be timely right now, not only regarding your relationships but because these tools can also be applied to the level of fear swirling about concerning the Coronavirus.  Oftentimes we can't control external things but we can make loving choices about which thoughts we choose to focus on and why. In this episode, we will cover: -What is the Gremlin- that voice in your head that tries to protect you by scaring you -Why that voice is internalized and how it's not your true self. -How to recognize the Gremlin voice and begin to challenge it. -The tool of Active Imagination-how to dialogue with that negative voice and challenge it so you feel more in control.  You will learn how to have a written conversation with specific fears, to put them on a loudspeaker and to find the exceptions so you can talk yourself down from the ledge. In the following episode, you'll learn 2 MORE tools to add to your arsenal, so keep listening:) My hope is that you will begin to shift from fear into love in your life and relations, more and more. To find out more about phone coaching with Paulette, check out her website www.DrPauletteSherman.com 

This is a series on how to lessen your negative thinking in love and life. It seems timely during this period of Coronavirus frenzy. The whole series offers ten tools to deal with negative thinking and worry. This second episode in the series offers two tools: -How to distinguish if your thoughts are in the Past, Present or Future so as not to drain your energy -How to access the loving voice of your Higher Self as opposed to the fearful voice These ten tools come from Dr. Sherman's recent book, 'The Gremlin: 10 Tools to Shush that Negative Voice in Your Head which is available in a small paperback, available on Amazon. You can learn more about doing phone sessions with Dr. Sherman for life or relationship coaching here: www.DrPauletteSherman.com. To subscribe to Paulette's podcast, click here: The host Dr. Paulette Kouffman Sherman is a Licensed Psychologist with a certification in Family Therapy, a specialty in romantic relationships and she is also a certified life coach and dating & relationship coach. She’s been a psychotherapist for 20 years and has worked with many age groups and issues in settings including group and private practice, hospitals, nursing homes, partial programs, universities, and schools. She specializes in helping career women to balance work and home goals with their romantic partner. Paulette is known as “The Relationship Doctor” and her Inside-Out approach. She was honored to be named one of the Top 27 Relationship Experts in an article on Her Aspiration. Paulette is the author of, ‘Dating from the Inside Out,’ published by Atria Books, Facebook Dating: from 1st Date to Soulmate,' ‘When Mars Women Date,’ and the upcoming, ‘Marriage from the Inside Out’ and 22 others. Her books have been published in 7 languages and have won fourteen book awards. She has a private psychotherapy practice in Manhattan and does life and relationship coaching by phone & Skype. She has twenty years of experience as a psychotherapist and 15 as a coach, was an adjunct professor at two universities and writes a monthly dating column for Eligible Magazine. She’s an online instructor with over 2000 students from 108 countries on Udemy who have taken her online relationship classes. She has been an expert on television shows like Channel 11, Fox 5, the CBS Early Show & the AM Northwest Early Show and a radio guest on the Curtis Sliwa show, NPR’s Cityscape, Unity Radio’s ‘The Soul-Directed Life, Pathways and others. She's been quoted as a Relationship expert in MSN.com, USA Weekend, Business Insider, NY Post, Newsweek, Lifetime.com, More, Match.com, Teen Vogue, Foxnews.com, NY Daily News, Fox Business, Crains, Better Homes & Gardens, Cosmopolitan, Reader’s Digest, Redbook, Glamour, Forbes, Woman’s Day, Metro newspapers, P & G Everyday, Men’s Health, Men’s Fitness, Muscle and Fitness, Marie Claire, Allure, Seventeen, Men’s Fitness, Bustle, New York Magazine, Woman’s Day, Web MD, Linux Insider, Business Insider, Everyday Health, Elle, Psychology Today, The London Times, Complete Woman magazine, Aaptiv, Well & Good, Fast Company, The Knot, WeddingWire, Best Life, the Huffington Post, Guideposts, Refinery29, JDate, Spirituality and Health, Mind Body Green, Om Times, Spirit and Destiny, Martha Stewart Weddings, Brides, Oprah Magazine and The New York Times. She lives with her husband and two children near NYC.

In this episode, you'll learn two more new tools to deal with your negative thoughts, in marriage, dating, and life.  These tools can also be applied to your current coronavirus fears and can help you shift from fear into love.  These tools come from my book, 'The Gremlin: 10 Tools to Shush that Negative Voice In Your Head, 'by Dr. Paulette Sherman, available as a paperback on Amazon.  I hope they will help you quell any anxiety right now and take more control over the thoughts you choose.  You can become a 'Thought Ninja' over time with practice.  Start using these tools in your daily life as fears surface. Today You'll learn: -How to drop the negative thought, or Thought Stopping. -How to expand your limiting beliefs and make them more flexible and positive -How to comfort and parent your Wounded Child and speak kindly to her. If you find what you hear here helpful, please subscribe to this podcast for further tools in this series here: iTunes link: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/love-psychologist-transforming-your-relationships-from/id1501634319 Stitcher for Android:  https://www.stitcher.com/s?fid=511816&refid=stpr Please leave any comments and rate this podcast. To learn more about life coaching, dating coaching or couples coaching with Paulette, go to her website:  www.DrPauletteSherman.com

In this episode, you'll learn tools to combat your negative thinking and get to know your Gremlin or that negative voice in your head.  You'll learn how to shift from fear into love and to consciously choose what to focus on and how.  These tools come from Dr. Paulette Sherman's book, 'The Gremlin: 10 Tools to Shush that Negative Voice in Your Head, 'available in paperback on Amazon.  It will help you be aware of your thinking patterns and how to make them more productive. In this episode you'll learn:  - How Thoughts can lead to Feelings that can lead to Actions. -How your thoughts can move you forward or backward re what you want - Learn how your Gremlin magnifies fears and common negative thought patterns -Understand the research on positive self-talk, how to do it and how that affects you  If you like what you hear, please subscribe to, 'The Love Psychologist,' podcast. To find out more, check out Dr. Sherman's website: www.DrPauletteSherman.com  

This episode is about the many new pet-peeves and fights that are arising with couples during the coronavirus quarantine. There is a difference between a Minimizer and Maximizer.  Minimizers tend to diminish difficulties during stress and to downplay things.  They don’t like to focus on the stressful event and may even refuse to discuss it. Maximizers can turn hardships into catastrophes in their minds.  They can really plan and focus on it. So, you can imagine what conflict can ensue when one partner sees the Coronavirus as a life and death issue that needs to immediately to be addressed in various ways and the other one thinks that they are nuts and are overreacting and being controlling.  We explore specific Couples Coronavirus Pet Peeves like: -Should Our Kids Stay In? -Should You Buy a Quarantine Supply of Things? -Should You Take Public Transportation? -Should You Change Clothes and Shower After Coming Home from Work? Should You cleanse the groceries? Should you wear a mask and gloves while in the laundry room? And more. We explore how to calmly discuss your different views on these issues and how they can highlight your differing core values but also give you the opportunity to compromise and be a team. If you want relationship coaching from Paulette, check out www.DrPaulettteSherman.com If you like what you hear, please subscribe to this podcast and leave a comment:)  

Most singles thought that dating (online or otherwise) was hard enough before this Coronavirus. As a long time dating coach, my heart goes out to those singles who were really looking to meet someone before this happened. Now they’re at home, wondering when they can go out again. No one knows whether it’ll be one month or nine. So, is there any way to make some progress in dating, given the current limitations? Here are some suggestions: Do video Dates Video dates are not as good as meeting in person but they definitely feel more intimate than phone or email. You can look into each other’s eyes, talk about your day and keep each other entertained. You can daydream and discuss all your future outdoor dates when all this is over. Use Facebook Dating Platform I know many people were not thrilled with FB Dating but I already know one couple who met and got engaged on there. And as time goes by, I believe that FB will improve their matching algorithm, as they have so much information on everyone. They currently offer lots of online groups with like-minded singles and while that was original and helpful before, it’s essential now. You can look for singles with the same core values or interests and begin talking to them. As time goes by you can become FB friends, which opens it up to you seeing more of their community and everyday posts, which is an advantage that other dating apps don’t have. It’s a way to slowly integrate each other into your larger world. If you’re interested in learning all the advantages of Facebook Dating, as well as suggestions about dating mindfully on there, get my book, Facebook Dating: from 1st Date to Soulmate Do the 36 Questions It is possible to get to know someone better and to even fall in love this way. Research shows that strangers who did the 36 Questions sometimes fell in love and married. Or purchase a Book of Questions on Amazon to continue to get to know each other when the 36 Questions are done. Do a 6 Ft Apart Walk It can help mentally to get outside and to connect with someone else but clearly you need to be careful and follow the CDC guidelines. A dater that I know told me that they took a walk through the park with a date. They were 6 feet apart, wearing masks and they sat on separate benches. The bright side? If that’s your first date it’ll be one that you’ll always remember and an original story to tell your grandkids about how you first met later. They won’t believe it! Write Letters Letters or Emails For those singles that were dating someone and moved home during this Coronavirus scare, you can get to know each other the old-fashioned way through letter-writing (or the modern version, email). I watched the movie ‘Dear John’ yesterday on Netflix and that is basically how they fell in love. Another movie where the couple continued their courtship through letters is, ‘The Notebook’ and I’m sure that there are others. It’s romantic to use letters as a timeline to tell your relationship story later. Get Ready from the Inside-Out I believe that we manifest things- including love, from the inside out. This means that when you align your thoughts, feelings, and actions with what you really want, you are likely to manifest it. This also means removing all competing resistance or noise, like limiting beliefs, related fears, low self-esteem, past relationship baggage or familial blueprints that don’t match the relationship that you’d like to create. My first book, ‘Dating from the Inside Out: Using the law of Attraction in Matters of the Heart, published by Simon and Schuster walks you through this whole process, with customized exercises that you can do from home. You have the time now and no excuses. You can order the book on Amazon and do a chapter daily, writing in your journal or notebook. This way you are ready within. Then when the outside becomes available to you again, you can go out and attract your best match quickly. Try it out and let me know if it helps. It’s clear that this situation sucks, but are there any other positive takeaways? One thought I had is that this kind of brings back that old-fashioned idea of getting to know someone slowly first, from the inside-out. You’ll get to know them on a soul level before the physical one. Remember that you can take the steps that are possible now and that good thing come to those who wait, and to those who continue to put themselves out there in little ways. Also, research shows that when you go on a scary ride or are put in a scary situation together, you’re more likely to fall in love. So, maybe the circumstances could work in your advantage that way too. If you like what you hear, please subscribe to this podcast. If you'd like to do dating or relationship coaching by phone with Paulette check out www.DrPauletteSherman.com 

Today a friend brought my attention to the fact that newspapers are saying that divorce filings are up by 40 percent as couples spend time together in quarantine. Divorce requests currently can’t be processed fast enough in China, as couples come out of quarantine. Trauma and fear can bring out our worst sides and make us defensive.  Old resentments get exacerbated and people don’t have space to process things alone and to cool down. As a couples counselor and coach, I am always on the side of that relationship. I’m pulling for it to get stronger or at least to remain in place.  So, here are 12 things to keep in mind that might help: Sometimes Adults Need a Time-Out Too Avoid Doing The 4 Horsemen & What to do Instead Think About Your Kids Don’t Make Major Decisions When Upset Look for the Wounded Child in Your Mate Learn How to Self-Soothe Do Something that Raises Your Vibration Spend Some Time Remembering the Good Memories & Good Things about Your Mate Consider Marriage Counseling or Couples coaching online Practice Meditation or Some Sort of Relaxation Increase The Good Take Responsibility for Your Part Remember you can get through this and it is not your baseline.  Be willing to look at the part that you are playing in this dance, instead of just playing ‘the blame game.’ You can get a copy of my new book, ‘Marriage and the Law of Attraction: The Secret to Creating Your Perfect Relationship,’ on Amazon.  It walks you through how to improve your marriage from the inside-out without expecting your partner to change.  It will help you recognize all the ways you can powerfully create the relationship you want, by creating your marriage from the inside- out.  There's no time like the present. If you liked this episode, please subscribe! If you'd like couples counseling or couples coaching online with Paulette, check out www.DrPauletteSherman.com 

In this podcast series, we will be discussing more than 7 tools to help you use the Law of Attraction to improve your marriage or long-term relationship.  In this episode you'll learn: -What is the Law of Attraction -Why it is helpful in your marriage - 3 tools to help you move forward in your marriage when you're upset and feeling negative -Using Contrast -Employing Approximation -Trying Distraction Practice these tools when you are experiencing negative momentum in your marriage and you want to shift things back in a more positive direction.  You can start with yourself and align your thoughts, feelings, and actions with the relationship you want. In the next episode, you'll learn even more tools to practice. If you like what you hear, please subscribe to this podcast. These ideas were excerpted from Paulette's new book, 'Marriage and the Law of Attraction: The Secret to Creating your Perfect Relationship,' which is now available on Amazon.  Get your copy now.  Use your time at home now to make your love relationship stronger than ever!  It' an investment that will pay off for a lifetime. If you want online couples or relationship coaching with Dr. Sherman, check out her website here: www.DrPauletteSherman.com  

This Law of Attraction series covers how to improve your marriage and gives you specific tools to help move your relationship forward, without having to change your partner. It teaches you to align your thoughts, feelings, and actions around the relationship you want. This is the 2nd episode in this series. It will cover: -Distinguishing Ego vs. Higher Love -Feeling Good & Ways to Do it -The 4 Stages of Love- how knowing which stage you're in normalizes the process -How Habits Affect your Marriage- Good habits move you forward and bad habits move you backward and more! This series is excerpted from Dr. Sherman's new book, 'The Law of Attraction in Marriage.' It's available in paperback and ebook on Amazon.  It gives you tons of tools to make your marriage more loving while learning about yourself.  Pick up your copy today. If you like this episode, please subscribe to this podcast. If you'd like to do online couples coaching or individual relationship coaching with Dr. Sherman, check out her website www.DrPauletteSherman.com

This is part three of the Law of Attraction in Marriage podcast series.  We are learning about how to align your thoughts, feelings, and actions with the relationship that you most want. Here are some things covered in this episode: -How to use your emotions as your relationship GPS -How to notice your tone & body language -How self-soothing and self-talk help -How to identify & meet your own needs so that you feel fulfilled and more. The most important thing is to remember that you can't control your partner, you can only control yourself.  These are tools to help you with this.  You will learn how to be the creator of your marriage while transforming yourself and learning new ways to shift from fear into love. If you like this topic, you can get Dr. Sherman's new book on Amazon, 'Marriage and the Law of Attraction: The Secret to Your Perfect Relationship If you like this podcast, please subscribe. You can also take her online relationship classes on Udemy, here If you would like couples or relationship coaching from Dr. Sherman, go to her website to learn more: www.DrPauletteSherman.com

This is episode 4 in this podcast series on 'Marriage and the Law of Attraction.'  Using the Law of Attraction in your relationship will help you to approach it with new habits that will lead you forwards instead of backward. In this episode you'll learn: -How to improve things without changing your partner -How to be a team -Why Bids for Attention matter -a We versus I mindset -Compromise & Use Upscale Solutions -Be a Cheerleader for your Partner -Have a Date night -Having a Shared Vision & Interests If you want to learn more about how to improve your relationship and marriage, get Dr. Sherman's new book, 'The Law of Attraction and Marriage,' on Amazon. This episode also referenced, 'The Book of Sacred Baths,' as a resource with a number of couples baths you can do for a free date night at home. For information on relationship and couples coaching by phone or Skype with Dr. Sherman, check out her website: www.DrPauletteSherman.com 

This is part 5 in the Marriage & The Law of Attraction series.  It's about how what we resist, persists in our marriage or relationship.  This episode explores how we stop ourselves from moving forward in love in our relationships.  Although it is sometimes unconscious, our fears can create havoc in our love life if we do not recognize them and learn to work with them. You'll learn: -About your parental blueprint and how you may repeat it if it isn't conscious -Your defensive marital styles & roles -How to play, the, 'Don't Take the Bait,' game -How the ability to surrender to what is, can help -How to distinguish between your Higher Self & ego -signs that you are in a state of resistance & how to shift out of it ..and more. If you want to learn more, get Dr. Sherman's new book, 'Marriage and the Law of Attraction,' on Amazon. To learn about relationship & couples coaching with Dr. Sherman, check out her website Dr. Paulette Kouffman Sherman is a licensed psychologist, Relationship expert, certified life coach, and is the author of, Dating from the Inside Out, published by Atria Books, the upcoming, Marriage from the Inside Out and 23 others.  Her books have been published in 7 languages. She has twenty years of experience as a psychotherapist and was an adjunct professor at two universities. She’s an online instructor with more than 6500 students from 108 countries on Udemy who have taken her online relationship classes. She’s been an expert on television shows like Channel 11, Fox 5, the CBS Early Show & the AM Northwest Early Show, and a radio guest on the Curtis Sliwa show, NPR’s Cityscape, Unity Radio’s ‘The Soul-Directed Life, Pathways and others.   She is a Relationship Expert who has been quoted in MSN.com, USA Weekend, Business Insider, NY Post, Newsweek, Lifetime.com, More, Match.com, Teen Vogue, Foxnews.com, NY Daily News, Fox Business, Crains, Better Homes & Gardens, Cosmopolitan, Reader’s Digest, Redbook, Glamour, Forbes, Woman’s Day, Metro newspapers, P & G Everyday, Men’s Health, Men’s Fitness, Muscle and Fitness, Marie Claire, Allure, Seventeen, Men’s Fitness, Bustle, New York Magazine, Woman’s Day, Web MD, Linux Insider, Business Insider, Everyday Health, Elle, Psychology Today, The London Times, Complete Woman magazine, Aaptiv, Well & Good, Fast Company, The Knot, WeddingWire, Best Life, the Huffington Post, Guideposts, Refinery29, JDate, Spirituality and Health, Mind Body Green, Om Times, Spirit and Destiny, Martha Stewart Weddings, Brides, Oprah Magazine and the NY Times.  Dr. Sherman lives near NYC with her husband of 13 years and her two children. To learn more about Dr. Paulette Kouffman Sherman, please visit her website at www.drpaulettesherman.com  

This is part 6 in the 'Marriage and the Law of Attraction' series.  It's about how your communication affects your marriage or relationship. Your words, tone, and energy can either move your relationship forward or backward. You'll learn: -How the Four Horsemen can lead to divorce -About how the quality and quantity of communication changes -Trigger words -Good communication habits -The value of love maps and more. To learn more, get Dr. Sherman's new book, 'Marriage and the Law of Attraction,' on Amazon. To get relationship coaching from Dr. Sherman by phone or Skype: www.DrPauletteSherman.com