The Wright Life-A Widow’s Diary

I’m late to the game here. Also, apparently, I’m entitled and lazy. Awesome! This past year I put into place a new habit of gratitude. In this episode I share the why, the how, the what, and the top 5 things I learned from taking a 30 day challenge of writing down what I was thankful for. What started as a 30 day challenge, became impossible for me stop and was a critical piece in finding joy and healing this past year. While I’ve tried to establish this habit many times before, this time was different, and what I did finally stuck. Here I am a year later, and I’m still counting gifts everyday. Thanks for listening!

We’re only one episode into season two, and I’m already diving headfirst into my “next”! Just a few days after recording episode one, “next” started pushing and nudging its way into my heart. What started as one small step became several small steps, and BOOM! There was “next”. In this episode I share how making one small right next step has led to several next right steps. This new mindset, which is contrary to my “I need to see the whole picture before I make a move” mindset, has been so helpful, not just for some small changes I’ve recently made, but also for the big one…that just so happened to start off small.

There was this point when I was first putting together this podcast that I thought, “I wonder if I’ll ever graduate to having a ‘Season 2’?” Then, this summer, as I took some time to work through a season of busyness and lots of change, I wondered if I’d ever record another episode. Too much had happened, so much had changed in my head and heart, and I couldn’t figure out how to transition smoothly. That’s when it hit me. It’s time for Season 2! I’ll be honest, when I started what’s now known as season 1, I had a list of content ideas and topics I wanted to cover. Season 2? Notsomuch. But I trust that as I work through what I am calling my season 2, it’ll all come. I can’t wait to share with you all that I have been working through, what I’m excited about, and some new changes as I walk into Season 2! Thanks for coming with me!

Who knew my last episode on the Never Alone Widow’s Retreat would need a part 2?! Well, here we are. In Part 2, I get to follow up with all the ways your prayers were answered and so much more. This retreat was one of the best things I have ever done, and I can’t believe I almost didn’t go! I can’t wait to share with you how “seen” I was at this retreat (Genesis 16:13), and the breath of fresh air that has filled my lungs. Thanks for listening!

Let me tell you a little story about a widow who was super excited about attending her first widows retreat. For many months she felt so excited to have a retreat to go to, on the beach no less, where she could work through emotions, learn new strategies, gather resources, and build new friendships with other widows. It felt like the most perfect thing that she could ever do. Until it didn’t. That widow is me. I leave on Thursday, and I’m freaking out. On this episode I explore all the reasons I shouldn’t go on this retreat, and then I ask for prayer because I’m going to go anyway. Here’s the prayer guide I reference: Day 1 - Pray for the caregivers keeping the children Jesus, give them strength and endurance to love these beautiful children and give them the ability to comfort in a way that only you can Jesus. Give them provision and allow them to experience beautiful sleep this week.  Day 2 - Pray for the Never Alone helpers, volunteers, and prayer team  Jesus, touch every person who has helped create beauty, has cooked food, has planned the program, has delivered food and will create a safe space of healing. Let them know you are using their hands to heal in the beauty of your love.  Day 3 - Pray for the homes where the women stay and meet. Jesus, bless the homeowners who have donated their homes. Bless the space with peace and freedom to heal. Bless every family represented and the generations that come behind them to experience your love.  Day 4 - Pray for the speakers Jesus, we pray that each speaker will speak directly to the places that need the most comfort. That their vulnerability will transfer by the power of the Holy Spirit and that their life, stories, training and past will give each widow the power to overcome.  Day 5 - Pray for the travel and renounce fear for each widow  Jesus, we speak to any fear that each widow may feel. We declare that your perfect love will flood their mind and hearts to know that you are shaping their future and their children to receive the blessings you have promised. We pray for traveling mercies and that flights are on time, roads are clear and that your angels surround each woman as she comes.  Day 6 - Pray for the soul and that pain will be unlocked to heal Jesus, we pray that every heart of every widow would be soft. Jesus, take her soul and allow her to feel the deep things of your love to heal the deep wounds of the loss.  Day 7 - Pray for the future of the widow and her identity Jesus, we release your daughters into the world to change the world. We pray that every woman would know whose she is to impact her children in ways she never has. Deeply seal the belief in them for their destiny as a warrior, as a hope dealer for anyone in pain and give them supernatural ability to see you healing them in real time as we minister to them through prayer! Let them FEEL the prayers of the righteous deep in their bones and breathe new life, new hope and new peace. If you want to learn more about this retreat you can visit www.neveralonewidows.com

Short and straight to the point. All the things I want my kids to remember about their dad. This is such a hard day for those without a dad or for dads that are without their kids. Lanie and Pax, I hope this episode sparks memories of who your dad was and how loved you are by him yesterday, today and forever.

It’s a buzz word, for sure! The term “Self Care” has so many types of meanings or definitions. Just ask around! It can be anything from getting your nails done regularly, to starting a diet, or even doing intensive therapy. After losing Scott, I learned I had to redefine the term self care for myself, and then actually start doing it. In fact, I was learning quickly that if I didn’t, I wasn’t going to find healing. Not healing wasn’t an option I was willing to settle for. With the help of the pandemic, and my newly understood definition of self care, I was able to get off the never-ending hamster wheel of life, and reevaluate a handful of habits I thought were important, and insert some new habits that were actually healing. This episode documents my ongoing journey with self care and healing. Thanks for listening!

Yes, I know it’s almost the end of May and I am just now publishing this episode. Yikes!!! Life! In this wrap-up, I talk about feeling ready for new things, a yard clean-up project gone right, Covid in the house, and volleyball. Always volleyball. Plus, I’ll share my good reads, favorite music of the month, my memory verse, and the top 5 things I was thankful for. This episode, posted in May, will wrap up April. Better late than never! I’ll shoot for being on time next month.

Don’t you just love a good foot in your mouth moment? How about when someone you care about is grieving and you learn that something you said, which was intended to helpful and encouraging, was actually not. Ugh!!! Words are so hard! Our hearts intend to do good and our words come out and mess everything up. In this episode we are gonna chat (very gently) about things that can be helpful and encouraging to say and do when someone you love is grieving a loss...and things that aren’t. It’s a super delicate topic and I can feel the tenderness in every bone of my body. However, just because it’s hard to talk about doesn’t mean we shouldn’t. Plus, it was a good time of reflection for me as I thought about just how good my community cared for and loved on me during my darkest days. Books referenced are: Finding Meaning by David Kessler Second Firsts by Christina Rasmussen Winnie the Pooh excerpt by A.A.Milne, E.H.Shepard Credit: I Know, I Need To Stop Talking

It’s time for another monthly wrap up! It was hard to not make this all about Maui, since I spent a third of the month there, but I still had some content left in me! Besides Maui, we had volleyball, Doctor’s appointments, and a birthday thrown in. Additionally, with some time between the trip and recording this episode, I had a couple positive emotional breakthroughs. March was a great month, and I can’t wait to share it with you!

Do you love going through other people’s family scrapbooks? How about other families’ home movies? No? Well, this episode is right along the same idea. This is a recap of our family trip to Maui. I wanted a really fun way to document this important family vacation, and decided it would be fun to include all my fellow travelers and have them share their favorite moments of the trip. For the majority of the episode you’ll even hear the Maui waves in the background because I recorded many segments right on the beach. So, yeah, some families might have pictures and home movies of their family vacays, but we have a podcast episode.

Whew! We made to to the end of the month! February was a bit rough for me, but there were some very sweet silver linings. From traveling to injuries, dreams and reminiscing about Maui, this episode covers the whole gamut of what made up the month of February for me. Themes for the month were love and thankfulness. I’m grateful for the love and support you all have shown me this past month. Thanks for listening!

I quickly realized that I had no travel experience after Scott died. I mean, I had traveled places, quite a few places actually, but never really alone. I had no idea all that went into traveling because, despite my deeply ingrained planning and organizing type “A” personality, I always left all things travel up to Scott and relished in a “real vacation” whenever we traveled. Five weeks after he died, I realized I was looking head-long into a full travel season, and had no clue what I was doing. In this episode, I share what I’ve learned and how I’ve overcome the travel hurdle as a new widow.

It’s time to wrap up all the things January had to offer the Wright Family. We celebrated holidays, a birthday, and big wins. I navigate (again) the double edge sword of happiness and joy combined with grief and knowing all Scott is missing. I also share my word of the year and my favorite reads, songs, Bible verses, and gratitude journal entries. I think January was simultaneously 439 days long and over in about 20 minutes.

I decided it’s finally time to start talking about the unofficial official diagnosis we got from Scott’s brain study, done by doctors at Mt Sinai in the Brain Injury Research Center. I’ve been sitting on this diagnosis for weeks, but have been unable to process through the heavy emotions of everything we learned. Thankfully, I’ve had the help of my family, my kids, Scott’s family, and my counselor who said I didn’t have to process it all now if I didn’t want to. Then, it hit me: this podcast wasn’t supposed to be me all wrapped up in a shiny bow, but me working through gritty, messy, emotional grief in an authentic way so I could document my journey. Turns out, speaking some of my feelings out loud while recording this episode helped me to heal. This one’s messy, but it’s part of our story.

It’s time to wrap up December! Adulting, serving, finals, holidays, and a holiday vacation! We crammed a lot into 1 month. I also explore living in an “and” emotionally. December brings a lot of joy and hope AND painful, empty moments. Additionally, I share my favorite reads, songs, and verses as well as a snippet from my gratitude journal. Additionally, there’s a segment recorded in the sauna, my winter coping space. You can here my “all cooked” timer go off, while I act like nothing is happening lol!

This episode is a little different than what I have previously put out. All those times I’ve said I’m not an expert are still true, but I learned some super helpful tips from a recent seminar put on by Griefshare called Surviving the Holidays. And when I learn something cool and helpful, I like to share with anyone who might benefit from it. So that’s what this episode is! Half of this episode is the content that was most impactful to me. The other half is me sharing how our family applied what I learned in a practical way. I’m hopeful that this information will be useful for anyone who is navigating through the holiday season without their loved one. If you find it helpful, or if you want to learn more, please visit the Griefshare website linked at the bottom. There you can learn all kinds of helpful things, from the actual experts, and maybe even find a location close to you to join a group. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! https://www.griefshare.org

I’m trying something new and I’m kinda excited about it! My monthly wrap-up episodes will do exactly as they say, wrap up our month! The highs, the lows, most memorable, things we wish we could forget, what we’re working on and though. Maybe someone is dating? Is it possible to do all the things senior year without crying as a parent? Plus I share my favorite reads/listens, top 5 favorite items in my gratitude journal, favorite songs, and more! Get all caught up on the Wright Life for the month of November.

Are you all so over it already? This pandemic? Me too!!! Ugh! However, parenting during a pandemic, and doing it alone, is part of my widow’s journey. Maybe talking about Covid is so annoying to you that you’d prefer to skip right to the end in which I summarize the whole episode for you in a few brief sentences? I totally get it! I did have a pretty big “Aha moment” with a kid and their counseling session that I share in the middle of the episode, that may be of some value...if you don’t already know about it, that is. I’m always late to the party so the tip may be old news for you. Otherwise, this episode documents our journey through the pandemic and my journey solo-parenting these crazy times with all the decisions, emotions, and “heated conversations” that go with it.

In this episode I reflect back on the one year anniversary of losing my Scott by reading him a letter. The letter is all the things I wish I could tell him if I had the chance. Sure, the list of things he’s missed is long, and my emotions run high, but this is real life, and where I’m really at right now. I feel comfortable sharing this space in time in a genuine way so that one day I can reflect on where I was and how far I’ve come. Additionally, if anyone else (besides my own family members) listens to this and is comforted because they can relate, then I’ll feel good about that too. Grief is a messy journey. The last thing we need to worry about is if I’m abnormal or doing it wrong.