This Isn’t Therapy

This Isn't Therapy...this is an *encore* conversation about people pleasing. Through two #lovelylistener stories, Jake and Simon explore the root of people pleasing - where the behaviour stems from and how it comes to be. How do I stop people pleasing??? Get ready to laugh/cry/uncover the phenomenon known as the chameleon child. "Trying to make life fair for people around you doesn’t make up for the unfairness of your childhood." Woof.Creators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonEpisode mixed by Jordan Paluck

This Isn't Therapy...this is a (part 2) fun, flirty, fabulous convo about our needs! If you haven't listened to part one yet, what are you doing?! Go listen and then come back, Wendy!! In this episode, Jake and Simon expand on our types of needs and introduce us to our core relational needs of safety, belonging and mattering (the tandem needs!) and then discuss the difference between Mimetic Desire and Mimetic Rivalries. How do we know if our needs are being met? This is a must-listen episode!Creators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck

This Isn't Therapy...this is a (part 1) conversation about our needs - what are they? Why is everyone talking about them? And how do you know if your needs are being met? What follows is a funny and fabulous convo about Primal, Survival, and Growth needs (oh my!) This episode is essential for anyone out there wondering: what are my needs?!Creators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck

This Isn't Therapy... it's the pinocchio-inspired epi about lying to your therapist. In this episode, Jake and Simon use a case scenario as a study about lies, fibs, and fairytales in the therapy room. They talk about what may lie beneath our lies (hehe) and can what happen when a therapist may suspect a lie is being told.P.S. The notes we were singing are Bb and A! ;)Don't forget, Mary: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.comCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonEpisode mixed by Jordan Paluck

This Isn't Therapy... it's an *encore* conversation about becoming an emotional adult. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about the mirage of adulthood and the search for the "real adults". They dive into an article by Kathryn Jezer-Morton for The Cut called Does anyone feel like an actual adult?This one's for all the adults who feel like they’re wearing a grown up costume or cosplaying as an adult.Don't forget, Mary: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.comCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonEpisode mixed by Jordan Paluck

This Isn't Therapy... it's an *encore* episode about dealing with emotionally immature people. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about spotting the signs of an emotionally immature adult and how emotional immaturity in parents can impact the children they're raising. We're returning to a beloved format in this epi-- lovely listener submissions + expert-level quotes = one juicy convo! ‎💋‎💋 Article: Emotionally Immature ParentsBy Psych CentralDon't forget, Mary: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.comCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonEpisode mixed by Jordan Paluck

This Isn't Therapy... it's an *encore* doomy episode about the ever-evolving landscape of doomslang. Doomslang, coined by author and linguist Amanda Montell, is a term used to describe dystopian jargon like “dumpster fire” and “doomscroll” and “bed rot”. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about how the constant conjuring of End Times is having surprising, unintended, and maybe even dangerous, consequences. From bed rot to brainrot, this episode sure packs a doomsday punch! Oh... and be sure to tune in this week for a very imporant Summertime announcement!P.S. Don't forget: Submit a quandary, query, or question for our end segment Asking For A Friend...Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.comCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonEpisode mixed by Jordan Paluck

This Isn't Therapy...this is an *encore* deep dive into self-improvement influencers and the impact they're having on men: "how to be more alpha by yelling at the ocean!! How to get a six pack by eating a pound of raw liver a day!! Why being sad is a state of mind so go chew on a football!!!! Oh no!! Don't fret though, Simon and Jake keep it flirty and fun as they discuss the online obsession with fitness, mindset, and self-optimization. Are we undoing the progress we’ve made to reduce mental health stigma?!Sources:- Beware Lifestyle Fascismby Maya Vinokour-Why the politics of young men and women are drifting further and further apartby Nimo Omer for The GuardianP.S. Don't forget: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.comCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonEpisode mixed by Jordan Paluck

This Isn't Therapy... it's an *encore* convo about makin' new friends, Mary! In this week's episode, Jake and Simon talk about our social health and what's getting in the way of making new friends and forging new social connections. They also discuss if it's good or bad to connect with people really fast and tackle a listener question about building a new circle of friends. *NEW* Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.comCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonEpisode mixed by Jordan Paluck

This Isn't Therapy... it’s an *encore* episode about being broken up with by a therapist. In this episode, Jake and Simon read two stories, one submitted to the Reddit r/AskATherapist community and one submitted by a Lovely Listener! Jake and Simon break down some of the reasons why therapists may also break up with a client. It's a juicy one!P.S. The debate about hand washing has been settled! Go check out our Instagram for the results.P.S.S. Send us your episode idea: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.comCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonEpisode mixed by Jordan Paluck

This isn't therapy, baby, it's a conversation about dating and modern relationship expectations. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about hook up culture and the current dating landscape for singles, one where dating apps (and one company in particular!) set the tone for our future with one another. They talk about "situationships" and how to spot the characteristics of a situationship-- a casual, undefined, commitment-free relationship.Article referenced: What is a situationship? By Sanjana GuptaCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck

This Isn't Therapy... it’s a conversation about problem spotting, hot take culture, the loss of expertise, and the pressure to have an opinion about everything. Get ready for some hot takes about hot takes! In this episode, Jake and Simon unpack an article written by Jake called You Don’t Have To Be The Fixer. Let's get into it, Mary!A quote from the article: “You do not need to fix every problem you notice. You do not need to sign up for more problems to solve. Sometimes it is better to let problems be problems rather than answer our urge to solve them.”Creators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonEpisode mixed by Jordan Paluck

This Isn't Therapy... it's the long-time-coming conversation about personality differences and mental health! In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about The Big Five personality types - Openness, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness, and Neuroticism (recently re-termed Emotional Stability). They talk about the difference between personality traits and a mental health issue (they oftne get confused!!) through the unpacking of two well-known personality typologies: Introverts and Extroverts. Hold on to your hat, Wendy, because we're setting sail on a magical journey into personality! Is shyness a personality trait or a mental health problem? Tune in to find out! :oBook discussed: "Quiet" by Susan CainP.S - Got an idea for an episode? A story to submit? Reach out: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.comCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonEpisode mixed by Jordan Paluck

This Isn't Therapy...this is a conversation about the best friends forever myth. There is so much pressure to find your other half, your #squad, someone to share that BFF bracelet with. But what happens when you don't have a BFF? Do "best friends" even exist? On this episode of the pod, Jake and Simon chat through an article in the Standard (source below) and discuss what happens when you get hung up on the perfect all-in-one friend. Then, in our newest/shiniest/sexiest final segment, Asking For a Friend, a #lovelylistener queries about irrational fears. Article: Best Friends Forever? It's a Myth by Claire Cohen.NEW* Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.comCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonEpisode mixed by Jordan Paluck

This isn't therapy... it's some straight up real talk about depictions of therapy in popular media. Simon and Jake talk about the emerging media genre of fly-on-the-wall therapy. From explosive couples’ dramas on TV to podcasts with recorded therapy sessions, fly-on-the-wall therapy is pulling in huge audiences. But is it ethical? Is it exploitation? Is it just unhealthy voyeurism? In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about what happens when therapy sessions become public and streamed to the masses.Article: ‘It was actually beautiful’: the wild rise in people turning their therapy sessions into devastating TV by Eleanor MorganCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimon