Toasting Our Twenties

It's 2021 babes, and you know what one of the HOTTEST qualities about a person is?! The ability to self reflect, take responsibility, and be accountable.  Listen, we get it- self reflection can be scary. Holding a mirror up to yourself and taking a hard look at patterns of behavior, past decisions, mistakes, and some of your not so awesome moments can be tough.  But, doing so not only highlights things you want to improve on, it can also help showcase your strengths and things you should be proud of!  Self reflection is such an important practice for personal development and growth.  It will not only improve your relationship with yourself, but also your relationships with others.  But remember, it isn't meant to be a shameful exercise.  We've all made mistakes, we've all handled things poorly at times. Recognize those moments, but show yourself grace and compassion because what matters most is your desire to be better next time.

Do you have Sad Bitch Syndrome, or do you have normal brain chemistry? Because we wouldn't know what that's like! Sad Bitch Syndrome, also known as SBS, is a term I (Erica) coined for myself years ago-even before I was clinically diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression in high school. If you're familiar with the podcast, you've probably heard me joke about feeling that I was born in the wrong time period-my state of perpetual sadness is way more on brand with the Victorian Era. But lately, I can't deny that I've sunken back into depression. After openly sharing that I've been struggling in last week's episode "You Good, Girl?", we received a lot of feedback from other listeners that expressed they too have been going through a hard time. So being that we are a podcast that discusses the good, the bad, and the ugly of being in your twenties- both Kat and I wanted to dedicate a full episode to mental health.  I don't want to speak for everyone, but I do genuinely believe our generation had a false sense of reality when we entered our twenties- society continued to push the narrative that "your twenties are the best years of your life!" And while I do agree that some of the best moments and experiences can happen in your twenties, I FOR SURE don't consider them to be the best years. It's honestly our belief that your twenties are meant to set you up FOR the best years of your life. Your twenties are full of so many unknowns, doubts regarding almost literally everything, and lots of change. But that's not the side of your twenties we are shown or told about. We see the highlight reel on social media and assume that everyone else has figured it out. Join us in this week's episode as both Kat and I talk about our very real experiences with mental health, and our advice on how to get through darker times.

Before we dive in this week, join me in wishing a VERY HAPPY DIRTY 30TH BIRTHDAY TO OUR FERAL QUEEN KAT!!!  Wish her luck as she embarks on a birthday trip to Vancouver because it entirely depends on whether she is able to get her passport LITERALLY THE DAY BEFORE HER FLIGHT! I have second-hand anxiety for her-which what doesn’t give me anxiety these days?? That brings us to our topic at hand- have you checked in with YOU lately? Erica discusses how she has been in such an emotional funk lately- randomly crying, lacking motivation, and feeling very isolated. It seems like everywhere she looks, people are getting engaged, getting married, and having babies. While she’s happy for them, she also can’t help but feel like she’s missing out and it’s making her feel a little resentful. We discuss how these feelings are totally valid and normal- it’s ok to not be ok, but it’s also important to recognize a thought is just a thought and that doesn’t make it a fact. Just because you feel alone doesn’t mean you actually are. And someone else’s happiness isn’t going to take away from you finding your own. If there’s anything our twenties have taught us, it’s that they are preparing us for the real fun- which hopefully will be our thirties 😜

Kat's turn to take it back! In the classic 20s style, Kat had no clue what was going on. In this week's episode we hear all about Kat going to parties she had no business being at, the shock she felt waking up after a night out sometimes, and we even witness Kat and Erica's first fight. The conversation about Kat's time in college ends after Sophomore year when Kat found herself questioning her path, which ultimately resulted in her uprooting her life to Arusha, Tanzania, East Africa. We get into her first footsteps on the continent of Africa- all the way to the first time she got sent home from a bar by the guy she was seeing. For the first time since she was physically going through it, Kat is telling the story from day one. As this series continues, we will be going through her time in Tanzania - love, joy, learning, hate, betrayal, arrest, drugs, abuse, death - you name it! 

Welcome back! Kat and Erica are finally together again and start with the typical updates before taking on the topic of body image. It is pretty clear that we as a society, and especially women in society, are taught to hate and shame ourselves. So many of us don’t recognize our own beauty and power because of the culture society pushes onto us at birth. Join us as we discuss our own journeys with body image, and how we have slowly learned to break the negative self talk cycle to finally embrace every inch of us.  It's time to start treating ourselves like the radiant QUEENS we all are! 

Hey everyone!  This week we are doing something a little different. Up until now, a lot of what Kat and I have talked about has been current events in our lives.  But being that this podcast is called “Toasting Our Twenties,” we wanted to create a series where we talked about what our twenties looked like for each year of it, starting at the very beginning at age 20. As we’ve mentioned before, the first half of our twenties looked A LOT different and were worlds apart, literally. Kat was living in a third world country in Africa, and I was taking the traditional route of college. But through us connecting now at almost thirty, we realized the beauty of being in your twenties is that although everyone’s path might be different, each with our own unique experiences, we’ve still gone through a lot of the same things. I think it’s a safe bet to say we’ve all experienced heart break (in one form or another), loneliness, doubt, feeling less than or like we are falling behind from everyone else, and just struggling in general to have it all figured out. So, while we plan on still discussing topics that are more relevant to us in present day, we are going to incorporate episodes where we also share all the moments that helped shape us into who we are.  With Kat being out of town, I'm going to kick off this series with our very first guest, my best friend Beka! Join us as we talk about what life was like for us at age 20 as sophomores in college.

FIRST BONUS EPISODE! Kat and Erica have chosen a release date and decided to have some fun for a bonus episode to celebrate, and thank you for your patience as we figure this out. Together, they have come up with 30 things they think they should know or know how to do by the time they turn 30...let us know if you agree! 

First and foremost, thank you so much for bearing with us as we continue to navigate balancing our regular 9-5 jobs with growing this podcast. We are doing our best to give this our all, but life in your twenties is never predictable so we appreciate your patience while we work the kinks out and get a handle on the workload! With that being said, ya girls are TIRED. Anyone else feeling massively burnt out after feral girl summer?  Well, do a little self care and recharge because we have officially entered Witch Bitch Autumn! Join us as we give even more exhausting updates about our current dating scene, which leads us into Part Two of Why Men Love Bitches.  Tell us on Instagram @toastingourtwenties what you think about the idea we break down, and make sure to answer our upcoming poll 😉

After another week apart, Kat and Erica are catching up. Kat has been on a couple of dates, caught up with her bartender man whose not her man, and desperately wants to humble another guy from her recent past. Erica has some dates and plans on deck, so we talk about that. She also has been doing some reading, and we break down the idea that men love bitches. This is a foreign concept to us, so we are stunned by what this theory brings to the our table. Maybe there will be a shift in Kat and Erica's dating life coming up...if we can apply what we learn! Tell us on Instagram @toastingourtwenties what you think about the idea we break down, and tell us what you would do if you were in Kat's shoes with the man trying to pursue her again! 

Growing up, we all had it easy for the most part-making friends didn't have to be a chore.  Chances are, you didn't have to go far to make a friend- you could find friends on the playground, in class, and through sports.  Even in college there were plenty of ways to meet people and make friends.  But what do you do after you've graduated and you all go your separate ways? How do you maintain those friendships, but also make new ones?  What if you're like Erica and Kat- new to a city with no real connections, oh and there's a pandemic to add into the mix- what do you do then?  Join us as we discuss different methods we used to make friends as an adult, as well as breaking down the dynamic of friendship in general.  In this episode, we share how our friendships have evolved throughout our twenties, and what it means to be a good friend in return. 

We're back! Join us as we catch you up on everything you've missed the last couple weeks over a couple (or many) cocktails. Erica is finally home from New York and has some small town drama to share, while Kat has been holding down the fort back in Raleigh and hit a pretty exciting milestone.  A recurring theme in both our updates though is a topic we like to call "that sounds like a you problem."  Relationships in every form (be it familial, friendships, or romantic) are hard, and what's even harder is learning to not take everything done to you personally.  Because let's face it- we've all been through some shit, especially in our twenties.  We all have baggage, some more than others, and we all have been hurt.  And like the saying goes, hurt people hurt other people.  You can't control what someone else does, how they react and behave, how they feel, and how they treat you.  You can't control whether or not another person grows up and takes accountability.  All you can control is how you choose to respond, and what boundaries you set for yourself.  The best lesson you can learn is how to determine whether a situation is actually your problem, or if it is a projection of someone else's problem.  And if it's the latter, then understanding how to detach emotionally and realizing someone else's issue is not a reflection of you, your worth, or your value.

Sheesh, what a week. Erica and Kat have been through it these last few days, and they are drinking it off. What starts as a rant about difficulties with contractors ends as a conversation about how hard it has been to learn how to set and accept boundaries in our lives. Kat is scared of a bee, Erica is drinking straight from the wine bottle, and we are angry and hurt. What else could sum up our twenties? They are the best of times, they are the worst of times.

There's no way around it- we all have to go on at least one first date in our lives.  For some, it will be great, relaxed, and maybe even be with your future spouse.  For others, it will be straight up out of a horror movie.  We have both been around the block quite a few times in dating, so you know we have some wild stories to share.  Buckle up and enjoy some of our craziest first date moments, that may or may not involve pegging?? 

Welcome to Toasting Our Twenties! We are your hosts, Kat and Erica.  Your Twenties are the best, but also the WORST times of your life- and we're here to share the good, the bad, and the ugly of it all.  Join us as we introduce ourselves and bring you up to speed on where exactly our lives are as we start to close out our twenties.