Moving to a new country can make you feel like you’ve been dropped into someone else’s life overnight. In those early months, everything is unfamiliar and yet, one of the biggest determinants of your wellbeing is also the hardest to prioritise: friendship.As adults, making friends isn’t effortless anymore. It takes energy, vulnerability and timing. And when you’re settling into a new posting, it can feel both essential and overwhelming.In this episode, we explore:-Why adult friendships feel harder to build — especially when your identity is in transition-The role of community in grounding you emotionally during those first few months abroad-Why finding “your people” matters for your sense of belonging, confidence, and stability-What stops us from prioritising friendships even when we’re craving connection-How to build friendships that feel genuine, supportive, and long-lasting.This episode is an honest look at the emotional reality of starting over and a guide to finding the people who make your new country feel like a life, not just a location.ASK your questions on our anonymous link: https://tally.so/r/nP7zO5🎧 Connect with your hosts:Anna – Instagram: @notjustaspouse | notjustaspouse.com | anna@notjustaspouse.comEmma – Instagram: @thezestielife | emma@zestie.org | zestie.carrd.co
One of the hardest parts of diplomatic life is the distance it creates - not just from places, but from people. As you move from posting to posting, the friendships and family ties that once felt effortless suddenly require intention, creativity, and emotional resilience. In this episode, we explore:- Why communication patterns shift when you move abroad and how to adapt with compassion- How to nurture the friendships that mean the most—without pressure or guilt- What to do when you can’t make every wedding, birthday, or family eventThis is all about giving yourself grace and compassion and just knowing that you're doing the best you possibly can.ASK your questions on our anonymous link: https://tally.so/r/nP7zO5🎧 Connect with your hosts:Anna – Instagram: @notjustaspouse | notjustaspouse.com | anna@notjustaspouse.comEmma – Instagram: @thezestielife | emma@zestie.org | zestie.carrd.co
In diplomatic life, there’s often a third presence in every relationship - the job. It doesn’t clock out at 5 p.m., it joins you at dinner, shapes your weekends, and sometimes even decides your plans for you. From last-minute crises to work dinners and representational housing, the boundaries between personal and professional life can blur until they almost disappear.In this episode, we explore:How to navigate the constant presence of your partner’s work in your relationshipWhat to do when official duties clash with personal plansHow to manage feelings of frustration, disappointment, or invisibilityPractical ways to set boundaries, communicate needs, and reconnect as a couple outside of the jobThis is about learning to live with it in a way that honours both partners, keeps connection alive, and protects your relationship from becoming a posting casualty.ASK your questions on our anonymous link: https://tally.so/r/nP7zO5🎧 Connect with your hosts: Anna – Instagram: @notjustaspouse | notjustaspouse.com | anna@notjustaspouse.com Emma – Instagram: @thezestielife | emma@zestie.org | zestie.carrd.co
In diplomatic life, this question can bubble under the surface for a long time and pops up every now and again. How much longer can we keep doing this? Whether it’s the desire to stay in one place, return home, or finally prioritise stability, knowing when “enough is enough” can feel impossibly complex.In this episode, we explore:Why deciding to stay, move, or go home is such an emotional and layered choiceThe internal conflicts between loyalty, love, identity, and personal wellbeingReflection prompts to help you explore what you actually want Practical tools to help you find confidence and peace in your decision - whatever it may beThis is about tuning in. It’s about finding the courage to ask honest questions, trust your intuition, and define what a sustainable and fulfilling life looks like for you and your family.ASK your questions on our anonymous link: https://tally.so/r/nP7zO5🎧 Connect with your hosts: Anna – Instagram: @notjustaspouse | notjustaspouse.com | anna@notjustaspouse.com Emma – Instagram: @thezestielife | emma@zestie.org | zestie.carrd.co
In diplomatic life, money often sits quietly in the background, tied up in allowances, benefits, and hard to reach systems that can leave one partner holding all the control. But financial dependency isn’t just about income; it’s about access, autonomy, and feeling empowered to make choices for yourself.In this conversation, we explore:What financial dependency really looks like for diplomatic spousesWhy transparency and shared decision-making around money matterHow to build systems that support fairness- joint accounts, personal spending, savings, and emergency fundsWays to create confidence and independence around finances, even when your own income isn’t the main oneThis is about awareness, equality, and reclaiming your sense of power and security in a life that often revolves around someone else’s posting.ASK your questions on our anonymous link: https://tally.so/r/nP7zO5🎧 Connect with your hosts: Anna – Instagram: @notjustaspouse | notjustaspouse.com | anna@notjustaspouse.com Emma – Instagram: @thezestielife | emma@zestie.org | zestie.carrd.co
In diplomatic life, your social world often starts with your partner’s role: embassy events, official receptions, and colleagues who quickly become your default circle. But what happens when your friendships feel more like extensions of your partner’s career than your own? And how do you build a social life that feels like yours in a world where everything is transient and dependent on someone else’s posting?In this conversation, we explore:Why so much of your social network flows through your partner’s roleThe emotional toll of relying on embassy circles as your main source of connectionBuilding friendships beyond the diplomatic bubbleThis is about embracing the embassy community AND finding balance, independence, and friendships that feel authentic inside and outside of embassy life.ASK your questions on our anonymous link; https://tally.so/r/nP7zO5 🎧 Connect with your hosts: Anna – Instagram: @notjustaspouse | notjustaspouse.com | anna@notjustaspouse.com Emma – Instagram: @thezestielife | emma@zestie.org | zestie.carrd.co
As summer travel wraps up and school schedules kick in, September often feels like the real New Year for families. It’s a chance to reset, find your new routines, and reclaim a sense of independence in a life that’s often dictated by someone else’s posting, schedule, or demands.In this conversation, we unpack:Why September feels like a natural reset in diplomatic lifeHow to create routines and new habits that give you more space for youDifferent tools on how we can change the way we see ourselves to feel more empowered, motivated and actually have more success wherever you are in the worldThis isn’t about perfection or rigid schedules it’s about building habits and routines that support your independence, your family, and your well-being, no matter where your posting takes you.ASK your questions on our anonymous link;https://tally.so/r/nP7zO5🎧 Connect with your hosts:Anna – Instagram: @notjustaspouse | notjustaspouse.com | anna@notjustaspouse.comEmma – Instagram: @thezestielife | emma@zestie.org
We’re kicking off a brand-new mini-series on the subtle ways diplomatic life can quietly shift you into dependency- on a person, a system, or a lifestyle- without you even noticing.In this first conversation, we unpack:One of the first small, everyday signs that you might be sliding into a more dependent roleHow it affects your sense of identity, autonomy, and confidenceThe role that location, lifestyle, and partner dynamics play in reinforcing itSimple and practical tools to start reclaiming your independence and empowermentThis isn’t about judgement, it’s about awareness. Because once you can see the patterns, you can start to choose differently.ASK your questions on our anonymous link;https://tally.so/r/nP7zO5🎧 Connect with your hosts:Anna – Instagram: @notjustaspouse | notjustaspouse.com | anna@notjustaspouse.comEmma – Instagram: @thezestielife | emma@zestie.org
When you’re constantly relocating, traditional career paths often go out the window. In this episode of Unpacked, we explore the idea of portfolio and portable careers the often non-linear ways diplomatic partners build meaning and identity through work, reinvention, and creative adaptation.We ask:- Are we constantly reinventing, or simply expressing our purpose in new forms?- What does it look like to shift between employment, freelancing, consulting?We also get honest about:-The emotional side of reinvention -The hidden power in flexibility (and the hidden cost)-The realities of self-employment vs. formal employment abroad-The pressure to “make it count” when you do get an opportunityAnd that sticky question… which partner is lucky?Whether you're in the middle of a pivot or just wondering what’s next, this episode is for you.🎧 Connect with your hosts:Anna – Instagram: @notjustaspouse | notjustaspouse.com | anna@notjustaspouse.comEmma – Instagram: @thezestielife | emma@zestie.org
In this episode, we dive into the invisible load that many diplomatic and expat partners silently carry; the emotional, logistical, and identity-based weight that often goes unseen. We explore how being labelled a "dependent" can slowly chip away at your self-esteem, even when life looks “picture perfect” from the outside.✨ You'll hear:Why this hidden burden is so real (and so common)How the language we use can shape our self-worthWhat you can start doing today to support yourself more consciously and compassionatelyThis one’s for anyone who’s ever felt unseen in their role, unsure of their identity, or quietly carrying more than they realise. You’re not alone and your story matters. 💛Tune in and share with a friend who needs to hear this.🎧 Connect with your hosts:Anna – Instagram: @notjustaspouse | notjustaspouse.com | anna@notjustaspouse.comEmma – Instagram: @thezestielife | emma@zestie.org
Summer might look sunny on the outside, but for many diplomatic partners, it’s one of the most emotionally and logistically challenging times of the year. In this episode, we unpack why the summer season, with all its moves, goodbyes, disrupted routines, and emotional upheaval, can feel so hard, even when everything seems "fine."Whether you're the one moving, staying behind, or caught in the ripple effects of transition, this conversation is here to normalise your experience and offer gentle, practical ways to support yourself through it.We talk about:-Why summer can feel like a pressure cooker for diplomatic families-The emotional undercurrent of transitions (even the ones we choose)-Letting go of structure and what that stirs up-Anchoring yourself when routines fall away-What small, intentional choices can help you feel more grounded and supportedThis is your reminder: it’s okay to not love this season. And you’re definitely not alone in that.🎧 Connect with your hosts:Anna – Instagram: @notjustaspouse | notjustaspouse.com | anna@notjustaspouse.comEmma – Instagram: @thezestielife | emma@zestie.org
Get to know co-host Emma as she shares her story of reinvention, from teacher to coach, and what drives her to support diplomatic partners in finding energy, clarity, and belonging. A conversation about showing up fully in a life that keeps moving.🎧 Connect with your hosts:Emma – Instagram: @thezestielife | emma@zestie.orgAnna – Instagram: @notjustaspouse | notjustaspouse.com | anna@notjustaspouse.comIf you enjoyed this episode, follow the show and send it to a friend who gets it.
In our very first episode, Anna shares her personal journey from diplomatic partner to founder of Not Just a Spouse. We explore identity, purpose, and why she’s on a mission to help others feel seen and empowered — wherever they are in the world.🎧 Connect with your hosts:Anna – Instagram: @notjustaspouse | notjustaspouse.com | anna@notjustaspouse.comEmma – Instagram: @thezestielife | emma@zestie.orgIf this resonates, share with a fellow diplomatic partner who needs it.