Weaponized Marriage

Ever feel stuck in the same emotional loop, initial excitement followed by frustrating fights? This episode tackles the question: Why do so many marriages never move past the honeymoon phase? Discover where your relationship really is, and how to level up.Hosts Kendra and Dr. Ryan Hewitt break down the five transformative stages of romantic relationships, adapted from a thought-provoking Instagram-inspired framework. They explore why most couples stall in the honeymoon or power‑struggle stages, and what it takes to move into acceptance and deeper commitment. With personal stories and real-life examples, they guide listeners through identifying their own stage and recognizing whether it's time to lead, grow, or walk away.You’ll learn:How the honeymoon phase creates blind spotsWhy power struggles happen, and what they really representHow acceptance can either lead to growth or complacencyWhat genuine commitment looks like, and why it mattersBy the end, you'll have a clear path forward: either to strengthen what’s real, or to courageously redefine your next step.Key Takeaways:Honeymoon Phase: Intoxicating chemistry can blind you to red flags.Power Struggle: Conflicts arise as deeper values and expectations surface.Acceptance: Recognizing each other’s flaws is important, but only if paired with personal work.Commitment Redefined: True commitment involves aligned standards, values, and joint effort.Clear Boundaries: Setting non‑negotiables around health, parenting, finances, and mutual growth is essential.“Most people never get past level one and two, so honeymoon and power struggle, and they just repeat the cycle over and over.”Call to Action:If this episode challenges you to think deeper, share it with your partner or a friend. Then, journal or talk together about which of the five stages you feel stuck in, and what the next step toward growth would be. Don’t forget to subscribe so you never miss a conversation that strengthens your marriage.Learn more about Kendra Hewitt by visiting the following links:InstagramLearn more about Dr. Ryan Hewitt by visiting the following links:Dr. Ryan Hewitt Website

Join hosts Dr. Ryan and Kendra Hewitt on the Weaponized Marriage Podcast for a late-night conversation about the delicate balance between saving and supporting in relationships. In this episode, they dive into real-life stories, including their own, to explore how enabling can hinder growth and how true support empowers transformation. With candid reflections and practical wisdom, this episode offers couples tools to foster healthier dynamics and grow together.Key Takeaways:Saving vs. Supporting: Saving a spouse can enable stagnation, while supporting them encourages personal growth and accountability.Letting Them Sit in the Pit: Allowing a partner to face their challenges without rescuing them can lead to meaningful change.Taking Responsibility: Personal happiness and healing are individual responsibilities, not burdens for your spouse to carry.Leading by Example: Healthy marriages thrive when partners inspire each other through actions, not control.Growing Together: Couples should embrace growth at their own paces while supporting each other’s healing journeys."Your happiness and your healing is your responsibility." – Dr. Ryan HewittLearn more about Kendra Hewitt by visiting the following links:InstagramLearn more about Dr. Ryan Hewitt by visiting the following links:Dr. Ryan Hewitt Website

Retirement‑style anniversaries? Not here. When two martinis, miscommunication, and a lake‑house “unicorn” collide, Dr. Ryan and Kendra Hewitt discover that the real win isn’t a perfect weekend, it’s how fast you repair when things go sideways. In this raw recap of their 15‑year milestone, they break down feminine storms vs. masculine steadiness, why celebrations are mirrors (not photo‑ops), and how a failed sexy moment turned into their best birthday ever.Key Takeaways:Why conflict‑recovery speed is the new success metric in marriageThe “oak tree vs. pine tree” metaphor for masculine stabilityHow ownership is overrated, access and experience build connectionA practical way to re‑frame milestones as investments, not afterthoughtsTools for communicating expectations before resentment sets in“To be in your feminine, you need an oak tree. And this time, you didn’t bend. You stayed steady.” – Kendra HewittLearn more about Kendra Hewitt by visiting the following links:InstagramLearn more about Dr. Ryan Hewitt by visiting the following links:Dr. Ryan Hewitt Website

In this episode of The Weaponized Marriage Podcast, Kendra and Dr. Ryan Hewitt dive deep into a week that started with incredible connection and ended in emotional distance. They reflect on how easy it is for busy, entrepreneurial couples to lose intimacy; not for lack of love, but for lack of margin. From managing businesses and parenting a four-year-old, to forgetting the simple power of presence, they unpack why time doesn’t heal disconnection; intentional time does. With humor, raw vulnerability, and practical insight, they share how a date night turned into a collision, and how that moment of friction became a turning point for deeper clarity and reconnection.Together, they challenge couples to audit their time and redefine what it means to be “present.” They highlight the importance of offloading stress, asking better questions, and being brave enough to say, “I want to feel prioritized.” Whether you're an overwhelmed parent, a high-achieving business owner, or just feeling the weight of everyday demands, this episode is a timely invitation to rethink your relationship with time; and each other.What You’ll Hear in This Episode:Why great sex doesn't fix disconnection without emotional safetyThe real reason your spouse might feel unseen, even if you're "doing everything right"How auditing your time reveals hidden patterns that steal intimacyWhat to outsource to buy back connection; not just convenienceThe critical shift from reactive to proactive marriage leadershipListen now and take the first step toward creating more margin and more meaningful connection in your marriage.“Sometimes the beauty is in the asking; that makes me feel prioritized.”Learn more about Kendra Hewitt by visiting the following links:InstagramLearn more about Dr. Ryan Hewitt by visiting the following links:Dr. Ryan Hewitt Website

In this episode of The Weaponized Marriage Podcast, hosts Dr. Ryan and Kendra Hewitt share seven simple yet powerful rituals to strengthen your marriage and make it divorce-proof. Drawing from their own journey as entrepreneurs and parents, they emphasize intentional habits like daily check-ins, heartfelt hugs, and playful flirting to foster connection and resilience. The episode tackles the critical role of open money conversations, revealing how financial stress, not infidelity, is the leading cause of divorce. With candid insights into their own struggles and breakthroughs, Dr. Ryan and Kendra offer practical steps to protect your relationship from outside noise, repair conflicts quickly, and keep the spark alive. This episode is a must-listen for couples seeking to build a thriving, connected marriage through small, purposeful actions.Key TakeawaysDaily Check-Ins: Connect regularly, even when things seem “fine,” to catch issues early and deepen intimacy.30-Second Hugs: Physical touch, like a heartfelt hug or kiss, boosts oxytocin and lowers stress, strengthening bonds.Shared Activities: Find a joint hobby, like shooting or spin classes, to create fun, shared memories.Quick Repairs: Address conflicts promptly to avoid prolonged disconnection and rebuild trust faster.Money Talks: Discuss finances weekly to align goals, reduce stress, and foster trust and transparency."If you can get really strong at talking about money together, it opens up more play, more sex, more attraction, more happiness, more freedom—everything." – Kendra HewittLearn more about Kendra Hewitt by visiting the following links:InstagramLearn more about Dr. Ryan Hewitt by visiting the following links:Dr. Ryan Hewitt Website

In this powerful and unscripted episode of the Weaponized Marriage Podcast, Dr. Ryan and Kendra Hewitt open up about a life-changing week marked by bold decisions, divine downloads, and radical relational healing. From putting a cabin under contract on pure trust to celebrating new friendships, and diving deep into a transformative plant medicine journey, this episode captures what it looks like to live from your heart, not your head. The Hewitts share raw insight about emotional safety, the freedom of truth-telling, and the power of mutual ownership in marriage.For the first time, Kendra describes what it felt like to hear Dr. Ryan share the story of his past affair publicly; without shame, fear, or pain. Together, they unpack what makes emotional safety possible, why your “mess becomes your message,” and how plant medicine played a surprising role in helping them process guilt and step into deeper connection. If you're ready for a marriage built on radical honesty, mutual respect, and heart-led growth, this one’s for you.Key Takeaways:Trust isn’t just spoken; it’s lived. Kendra signed for a cabin Ryan hadn’t even seen.Friendship loneliness in adulthood is real and deserves attention.Emotional safety makes it possible to share the hardest truths without fear.Your “mess” can actually become the pathway to deeper purpose.Healing is a process that requires honesty, not perfection. “What if every freaking mess in your life was actually part of the plan?”Learn more about Kendra Hewitt by visiting the following links:InstagramLearn more about Dr. Ryan Hewitt by visiting the following links:Dr. Ryan Hewitt Website

In this episode of The Weaponized Marriage, hosts Dr. Ryan and Kendra Hewitt dive into the transformative power of setting balance targets; intentional goals for your marriage, family, and key relationships. Moving beyond vague resolutions, they share their proven framework of Facts, Feelings, Focus, Fruit to create meaningful, measurable targets that strengthen your partnership. From candid reflections on their own journey; like navigating flight upgrades for a couples’ trip to Spain or planning a cabin purchase; Kendra and Dr. Ryan reveal how to align on a shared vision while embracing discomfort for growth.Whether it’s scheduling date nights, planning a dream vacation, or fostering deeper connections with your kids, this episode offers practical tools to turn your relationship goals into reality. Kendra shares her success in reducing morning stress with daughter Lily, while Dr. Ryan opens up about his goal to take her camping again. Packed with real-life examples and raw insights, this episode is a must-listen for couples ready to communicate boldly, dream big, and work together toward a thriving marriage.Key TakeawaysFacts First: Start with concrete realities; what’s working and not working in your marriage or family life.Feelings Matter: Separate emotions from facts to gain clarity and avoid wishy-washy traps.Focus on Impact: Identify one high-leverage goal that moves the needle, like a couples’ retreat or more date nights.Fruit as Vision: Define the result you want, like a dream vacation or a stronger bond with your kids.Shared Vision: Align on goals that excite both partners, even if they require compromise or discomfort.“You can’t grow in comfort. Set targets that stretch you as a couple and make you communicate about what really matters.” - Dr. Ryan HewittLearn more about Kendra Hewitt by visiting the following links:InstagramLearn more about Dr. Ryan Hewitt by visiting the following links:Dr. Ryan Hewitt Website

In this episode of Weaponized Marriage, hosts Dr. Ryan and Kendra Hewitt dive into the concept of "what you resist will persist," exploring how resistance to personal challenges can impact a marriage. Kendra shares her journey of overcoming resistance to hormone replacement therapy (HRT), couples therapy, and her recent ADHD diagnosis, which she initially avoided addressing. She discusses how reading The ADHD Effect on Marriage by Melissa Orlov opened her eyes to patterns like the pursuit-withdrawal dynamic that strained their relationship. By embracing these challenges, Kendra found new ways to connect with Dr. Ryan, fostering empathy and understanding. The episode highlights how acknowledging differences, such as ADHD-related behaviors, can transform conflicts into opportunities for growth, offering practical insights for couples navigating similar struggles.The conversation broadens as Kendra and Dr. Ryan discuss how ADHD affects their intimacy, communication, and daily interactions, from Kendra’s struggle with physical touch to Dr. Ryan’s feelings of rejection. They emphasize the importance of both partners taking ownership of their roles in relationship patterns, rather than pointing fingers. Through candid storytelling and actionable advice, this episode encourages listeners to identify areas of resistance in their own lives and marriages, offering a path toward deeper connection and mutual understanding. Whether you or your partner face neurodivergent challenges or not, this episode provides a relatable framework for improving your relationship.Key Takeaways:Resistance Persists: Avoiding personal challenges like ADHD or therapy can perpetuate relationship issues.Pursuit-Withdrawal Pattern: Common in marriages, this dynamic (one partner pursues, the other withdraws) can be addressed with awareness and empathy.Own Your Role: Both spouses must take responsibility for their contributions to conflicts to foster change.ADHD and Intimacy: Neurodivergent traits can affect physical and emotional connection, requiring intentional effort to bridge gaps.Embrace Differences: Accepting and understanding your partner’s unique traits builds stronger relationships.“What you resist will persist. Draw back the curtain and face what’s showing up in your marriage for a reason.” — Kendra HewittLearn more about Kendra Hewitt by visiting the following links:InstagramLearn more about Dr. Ryan Hewitt by visiting the following links:Dr. Ryan Hewitt Website

In this episode of the Weaponized Marriage Podcast, hosts Kendra and Dr. Ryan Hewitt shared an account of a recent conflict that left them feeling disconnected, revealing how they worked to hit the "repair button" in their relationship. From miscommunications about schedules to the weight of parenting and caregiving stressors, they unpack how their Enneagram personality types—Kendra as a Six and Dr. Ryan as a Three—fuel their reactions and challenge their recovery. With guidance from their therapist, Steven, they explore practical tools to rebuild connection, emphasizing the power of proactive communication and mutual support.Kendra and Dr. Ryan dive into the invisible labor of caregiving, the pitfalls of unspoken expectations, and the importance of weekly check-ins to stay aligned. With humor and vulnerability, they offer strategies like physical touch to de-escalate tension and the courage to ask for help, reminding listeners that every marriage faces rough patches. This episode is a must-listen for couples seeking to grow together by mastering the art of repair.Key Takeaways:Personality Awareness: Kendra’s Six (critical mode) and Ryan’s Three (achiever mode) shape conflict; Enneagram insights improve communication.Weekly Check-Ins: Dedicated personal and financial meetings prevent resentment and align priorities.Physical Reset: A hug or hand on the heart can quickly calm tension and foster reconnection.Initiate Support: Partners should proactively ask, “How can I help?” to ease invisible labor.Repair Toolbox: Therapy and communication strategies are essential for faster conflict recovery.“You either choose to connect and make that happen, or you choose to disconnect.” – Kendra HewittLearn more about Kendra Hewitt by visiting the following links:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kendra.hewitt/Learn more about Dr. Ryan Hewitt by visiting the following links:Dr. Ryan Hewitt Website: https://www.drryanhewitt.com/

In this episode of Weaponized Marriage, hosts Dr. Ryan and Kendra Hewitt dive into the often-avoided topic of money in their relationship, unpacking the emotional and practical challenges of managing finances as a couple. With raw honesty, they share their journey of navigating financial disconnects, from running a business together to struggling with collaborative money conversations. Drawing from a recent therapy session, the Hewitts reveal how past avoidance, guilt, and defensiveness have created barriers to a shared financial vision, and they commit to breaking this cycle with weekly meetings. Their candid discussion offers listeners a relatable lens into the complexities of marital intimacy, not just in finances but in fostering deeper connection through vulnerability and accountability.The episode explores the universal struggle of tackling "crucial conversations" that couples often sidestep, whether about money, intimacy, or other sensitive topics. Dr. Ryan and Kendra emphasize the importance of approaching these discussions with love, ownership, and a willingness to change old patterns. By reflecting on their own experiences with therapy and personality dynamics, they provide practical insights for couples seeking to move past disconnection and build a stronger partnership. This episode is a must-listen for anyone looking to transform avoidance into meaningful dialogue, offering hope and actionable steps for creating a shared vision in marriage.Key Takeaways:Open, collaborative conversations about money are essential for marital connection and avoiding long-term disconnection.Avoiding crucial conversations can lead to underlying issues that impact intimacy, communication, and trust.Approaching sensitive topics with love and ownership, rather than blame, fosters productive dialogue.Committing to regular meetings, even when uncomfortable, helps couples build a shared vision for their future.Changing the approach to difficult conversations, such as choosing a neutral setting, can reduce defensiveness and improve outcomes."When you release energy about one [issue like money], the other one [like intimacy] gets better also." – Dr. Ryan HewittLearn more about Kendra Hewitt by visiting the following links:InstagramLearn more about Dr. Ryan Hewitt by visiting the following links:Dr. Ryan Hewitt Website

In this episode hosts Kendra and Dr. Ryan Hewitt celebrate their 20th episode of the Weaponized Marriage Podcast by diving into one of the most important and under-discussed truths of marriage: the profound connection between sex and money.After nearly a year of weekly therapy, a shift in their sessions unearthed something that might be the next frontier of vulnerability for many couples. Their therapist Steven revealed that most relational challenges stem from two core symbols in marriage, sex and money, and while they’d spent a year working on sexual intimacy, they were only now stepping into the equally intimate, and often unconscious, world of financial vulnerability.Kendra opens up about the origin of her money blueprint, how the trauma of losing her dad young shaped her deep need for control over finances, and how that need unconsciously distanced her from Dr. Ryan. Dr. Ryan shares how not being included in financial decisions impacted his identity as a provider and leader. Together, they reflect on how avoiding financial transparency can become just as damaging to emotional and sexual connection as any bedroom issue.Their conversation is equal parts humorous, honest, and hard-hitting as they explore:🔑 Key Takeaways:There are two powerful, symbolic forces in marriage: sex and money. Most conflicts, direct or indirect, stem from them.Every person brings a unique money blueprint into marriage, often shaped by trauma, modeling, or scarcity mindsets.Avoidance of financial conversations is often rooted in shame, fear, or control, and it silently erodes connection.Financial responsibility doesn’t equal financial intimacy. Shared vision requires shared decisions.Sex and money are deeply intertwined, especially when roles blur, unspoken expectations build, and resentment festers.Masculine identity is often tied to provision and productivity, while feminine security is connected to shared vision and trust.Creating micro-habits around financial connection (like shared spending journals or scheduled money dates) helps build trust and unity over time.The couple’s sex life improved as they got emotionally honest, first with sex, now with money.Surrender, safety, and leadership are key dynamics, for him to lead well, and for her to trust and receive.What is one small conversation you’re avoiding in your marriage, either around sex or money? Write it down, name the fear behind it, and take one step toward scheduling that conversation.👉 If this episode challenged you, moved you, or gave you language for what you’ve been feeling, share it with a friend, leave a review, and subscribe so you don’t miss next week’s deep dive.“If you’re relying solely on the 4% withdrawal rule, you’re taking a massive risk, especially with early retirement.”Learn more about Kendra Hewitt by visiting the following links:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kendra.hewitt/Learn more about Dr. Ryan Hewitt by visiting the following links:Dr. Ryan Hewitt Website: https://www.drryanhewitt.com/

In this heartfelt and energetic episode of the Weaponized Marriage Podcast, Dr. Ryan and Kendra Hewitt reflect on their recent kid-free trip to Spain and why building fun into your marriage is essential at every stage. Sharing stories from their Mediterranean wedding adventure, cultural insights, and a few laugh-out-loud moments, the Hewitts dive deep into how travel, spontaneity, and breaking routine can breathe life back into a relationship.From dancing until 4 a.m. at a multilingual wedding to rediscovering how rest doesn't always mean relaxation, Dr. Ryan and Kendra explore how stepping outside your daily patterns helps you see each other, and yourself, more clearly. Kendra shares raw reflections on how her younger self used to define success and how travel gave her fresh perspective. Dr. Ryan unpacks what happens when you take a break from your normal rhythm and discover what’s actually serving your marriage… and what’s not.They also touch on:How fitness and health enable meaningful shared experiences as you ageThe difference between a trip and a vacation (and why both matter)Why waiting for the “right time” might mean never making memories at allHow even small getaways can spark deeper conversations, creativity, and connectionLearn more about Kendra Hewitt by visiting the following links:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kendra.hewitt/Learn more about Dr. Ryan Hewitt by visiting the following links:Dr. Ryan Hewitt Website: https://www.drryanhewitt.com/

In this episode of The Weaponized Marriage Podcast, Dr. Ryan and Kendra Hewitt unpack the real rhythms, decisions, and priorities behind staying physically fit as a married couple in their 40s. They go beyond “five health tips” and talk about real-life: busy schedules, hormonal shifts, sex, energy, parenting, and what it actually takes to build a strong body and stronger partnership.Dr. Ryan shares his expertise on fitness programming, training pyramids, and strength-based longevity, while Kendra opens up about her evolving approach to nutrition, metabolism, and the emotional labor women face. Together, they talk about how they’ve aligned their values, schedules, and environments to support each other in health, without losing intimacy, connection, or joy.Key Takeaways:Couples who train together, stay together. It starts with respecting and planning each other’s fitness time.Strength training is non-negotiable for long-term energy, metabolism, and sex drive.Meal prep and macros aren’t militant: they’re marriage tools that foster teamwork and sustainability.Sleep, scheduling, and alcohol boundaries matter more than willpower.“If you want to go the distance in your marriage, train like it.”Learn more about Kendra Hewitt by visiting the following links:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kendra.hewitt/Learn more about Dr. Ryan Hewitt by visiting the following links:Dr. Ryan Hewitt Website: https://www.drryanhewitt.com/

Many women carry silent resentment in marriage, not because they want control, but because they’ve had to take it. In this episode of The Weaponized Marriage, Dr. Ryan and Kendra Hewitt unpack a viral Instagram post that ignited deep conversation around polarity, leadership, resentment, and emotional safety in relationships. They explore why so many women feel exhausted, unseen, and emotionally starved, and how men can unintentionally contribute to their wives' disconnection, not through malice, but by abdicating leadership in key areas like emotional presence, household dynamics, and communication. This episode doesn’t just diagnose the problem, it offers insight into how couples can rebuild trust, shift roles, and co-create a vision for their marriage.Key Takeaways:Emotional neglect can show up in subtle but destructive ways, often mistaken for disinterest or burnout.Men must take ownership of leadership in faith, family, fitness, and finances to create safety and polarity.Women often don't want to lead, they're just tired of doing it alone.Simple, consistent actions, not grand gestures, build connection and trust.Ready to stop reacting and start rebuilding? Share this episode and subscribe for more real, unfiltered conversations about marriage, intimacy, and purpose."You can’t feed a woman neglect and expect her to glow. You either nurture her soul or watch her disappear." – Kendra HewittLearn more about Kendra Hewitt by visiting the following links:InstagramLearn more about Dr. Ryan Hewitt by visiting the following links:Dr. Ryan Hewitt Website

In this episode of The Weaponized Marriage Podcast, Kendra and Ryan Hewitt dive into two of the most damaging patterns in marriage: resentment and reactivity. Why do women tend to harbor resentment while men lean into reactivity? And how do these hidden dynamics quietly sabotage connection, intimacy, and trust? Sharing personal stories—from missed lunches to deeper wounds—they unpack how old patterns creep into everyday moments and what it takes to break free. Whether you're keeping score or struggling to control your reactions, this episode will open your eyes to new ways of showing up in your marriage with freedom, grace, and strength.Key Takeaways:Why resentment builds silently (especially for women)How reactivity masks deeper wounds (especially for men)What the "tit-for-tat" trap looks like—and how to get out of itThe power of recognition and ownership in stopping toxic cyclesHow small shifts (like gratitude and acknowledgment) change everythingPractical ways to step into a new operating system for your marriage"Men tend to react. Women tend to resent. Either way, you’re stuck in a cycle until you both get honest."Learn more about Kendra Hewitt by visiting the following links:InstagramLearn more about Dr. Ryan Hewitt by visiting the following links:Dr. Ryan Hewitt Website