Weird AF News

Comedian Jonesy covers weird news 5 days/week and on Friday it's only Florida.

Machete-wielding Floridaman! (Clothing Optional)

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Machete-wielding naked Floridaman attacked mailboxes in southwest Florida. Machete-wielding Floridaman vandalizes mosque, leaves bacon at door. Florida woman brings two machetes to an axe-throwing bar. Machete-wielding Florida maintenance man accused of threatening pickleball players. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews  - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

09-06
20:44

Lonely dolphin keeps hitting on Japanese swimmers. AI classrooms without teachers open in London.

Claw machine games are Rio de Janeiro’s new public enemy. The first teacherless AI classroom set to open in London. Lonely dolphin may be behind series of attacks on swimmers in Japan. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews  - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

09-05
23:09

Witch doctor arrested for not resurrecting a dead person. 1 in 3 vegetarians eat meat when drunk.

Witch doctor under house arrest for failing to “resurrect” dead person. 1 in 3 vegetarians admits to eating meat when drunk. Workers in Japan can’t quit their jobs. They hire resignation experts to help. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews  - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones Buy MERCH: https://weirdafnews.merchmake.com/ - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

09-04
21:51

Husband spikes wife's Coke with cocaine hoping to marry her daughter. Employee found dead at her desk after 4 days.

Wells Fargo Bank employee found dead in her cubicle 4 days after last scanning into work. South Korea district offers 1 million won just for starting romantic relationship. Husband admits adding cocaine, MDMA to wife's Cokes in hopes he would marry her daughter. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews  - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

09-03
18:27

Florida lady has lesbian threesome in public pool in front of kids. Man wields machete and demands people buy his meth.

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Florida woman pulled out a gun when she was denied dog adoption. Florida woman walked around outside naked during neighbor's birthday party. Floridaman wields machete and demands people buy his meth at the mall. Florida Woman Arrested After Lesbian Threesome In Public Pool. *See video - https://youtu.be/Ij7p2XFDx6E?si=cDMQ3AbrNuCfBMB0 // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews  - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

08-30
16:22

Worker left for dead during wilderness office retreat. Fighting sexual urges? Try badminton, kids.

Coworkers left office worker alone on a mountain during hiking employee retreat. French opens up naturist exhibition to nude visitors. Fighting sexual temptation? Play badminton, Hong Kong tells teenagers. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews  - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

08-29
19:13

Woman is allergic to her own period. Fake police officer fools the police force for years.

Woman learns she is allergic to her own period. Romanian infiltrates the police force and works as an officer for over a year. Taliban bans women from singing and reading in public. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews  - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

08-28
16:46

Doctor let teenage daughter drill hole in patient's skull. Rock band fakes farewell tour to see tickets.

Austrian surgeon let his teenage daughter drill hole in patient's skull' Companies in China suspend work for employees to play new video game, Black Myth: Wukong. Legendary rock band faked farewell tour to sell more tickets. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews  - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

08-27
16:10

Chick-fil-A launches Chicken TV. World's oldest man says the secret is fried food and luck.

Chick-fil-A plans to launch streaming service with original shows. Late French film star Alain Delon wanted his dog buried with him. World's oldest man says 'it's just luck and fried food' as he celebrates 112th birthday. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews  - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

08-26
18:16

Florida doctor ignores screaming patients. Bloody Floridaman refuses to leave a plane.

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Floridaman bleeding after hair transplant arrested for refusing to leave plane. Florida’s official tourism site removes ‘LGBTQ Travel’ section. Floridaman jailed for impersonating a pizzeria and delivering disgusting pies. Floridaman doctor couldn't hear colonoscopy patient scream because he wasn't wearing hearing aids. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews  - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

08-23
18:18

Dead woman still has to pay rent. Football team will wear QR codes for in-game tipping.

Hackers may have stolen the Social Security numbers of every American. College football team will wear QR codes for in-game tipping. Apartment complex bills woman who died $15,000 for breaking her lease. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews  - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

08-22
24:20

Horse is elected mayor of a US town. Woman performed lewd act with a trout.

Man in hospital after being slapped in the face by a whale’s tail . Woman who was filmed performing a sex act with a trout faces court. In This Michigan Town, the Mayor Was a Dog. Now, They’ve Elected a Horse. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews  - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

08-21
16:51

So sorry we lost your skull, sir! Flights canceled over dangerous missing scissors.

Flights cancelled in Japan after scissors go missing. Woman admits being part of monkey torture network. Couple sues Atlanta hospital for allegedly losing part of patient's skull following brain surgery. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews  - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

08-20
18:30

Woman runs over boyfriend with car on their way to couples therapy. Man shot his father over smelly feet.

Iowa man allegedly shoots his father in face after complaint about smelly feet. Woman tries to run boyfriend over with car on their way to couples therapy. Alaska Airlines flight makes sudden diversion after pilot says he's not certified to land the plane. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews  - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

08-19
16:50

Floridaman drives truck through strip club for kicking him out. Man stabs roommate over gas prices.

FLORIDA FRIDAY - Annual Florida Python hunt: Florida has dangerous animals that can kill and here's a list of the deadliest. Floridaman drives semi truck into Tampa strip club after being kicked out. Florida Boaters Keep Finding Cocaine in the Water. Floridaman stabbed roommate over argument on who spent the most on fueling their car. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews  - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

08-16
20:16

Circumcised without consent leads to apology. Taliban welcome hostages - I mean "Tourists".

The Taliban are working to woo tourists to Afghanistan. Cats appear to grieve death of fellow pets – even dogs, study finds. New Zealand hospital apologizes after a man was circumcised without his consent. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews  - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

08-15
19:05

Lice in passenger's hair leads to emergency landing. Breastfeeding humans try to get an orangutan to do same.

Dublin Zoo enlists help of breastfeeding mothers to encourage female orangutan bond with her newborn. American Airlines Flight Makes Emergency Landing After Passenger Spots Lice In Woman's Hair. MAGA fans call for boycott of Dunkin Donuts: ‘The Bud Lite treatment’. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews  - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

08-14
18:30

Lady steals $1.5 million worth of chicken wings from school. Stop giving the monks energy drinks, please.

Cult-Favorite Japanese 7-Eleven Sandos and Snacks Are Coming to the U.S. Call for Buddhists to Stop Donating Energy Drinks to Monks. Lady stole $1.5 million worth of chicken wings from school meal program. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews  - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

08-13
19:10

Glitterbombing Mars will make it better to dance on. Man steals women's undies cuz he hates his wife's undies.

Blasting 'glitter' into Mars' atmosphere could make it more habitable, say scientists. Man in Thailand arrested for stealing women’s underwear, says his wife doesn’t have the ones he likes. Woman dies after getting caught in baggage carousel at Chicago airport. //  SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews  - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

08-12
16:07

Hurricane blows cocaine onto Florida beach. Lady blames strong winds for failed sobriety test.

FORIDA FRIDAY - Hurricane Debby washes over $1 million of cocaine onto a Florida beach. Florida woman hurls burrito at husband after argument over Taco Bell. Florida woman arrested for DUI during Hurricane Debby blamed storm winds for failed sobriety test. Florida man wanted for stealing $1,000 worth of adult toys. // SUPPORT by joining the Weird AF News Patreon http://patreon.com/weirdafnews  - OR buy Jonesy a coffee at http://buymeacoffee.com/funnyjones - Check out the official website https://WeirdAFnews.com and FOLLOW host Jonesy at http://instagram.com/funnyjones

08-09
18:26

Francisco Alexander Sanchez-Vazquez

for recording in a closet this podcast is fire!!!🔥🔥🔥

02-03 Reply

Rodney Claudia

Hey Jonsey! Love the show and the wierd shit that you report about that I actually believe happens on planet earth. keep doin what your doin in the closet. by the way pass some herb my way, always to the left lol. Sincerely, Rodney Laws

12-21 Reply

Karla Ingle

I'm SOOO glad I came across your pod cast! I love it! I look forward to listening every week, totally entertaining and interesting. Keep up the good work! ☺️

05-27 Reply

Chops NC

You can buy Krill at Petsmart.. lol.

05-19 Reply

Chops NC

I wonder how many times drunk sex happens on planes? Lots I suppose! Maybe drunk boxing on planes? That I would pay to see! 😂😂

01-08 Reply

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