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Monkeys in dresses, the plural of Cyclops, an improbable glass bus, space incest, and gender inequality all emerge as themes in the unaired pilot for "Lost in Space"! Join us as we dive into the awesome future world of 1997 as seen through the lens of 1965's "Master of Disaster", Irwin Allen. Before the flailing robot existed, before Dr. Zachary Smith was a character, before "Danger Will Robinson" was ever uttered, CBS launched the Robinsons into the outer worlds and flew the Gemini 12 directly into a field of asteroids, promptly losing the most expensive science experiment ever created by Man.The Booze Raccoons (James, Gretchen, Alex, Dave, and Judith) reassemble to review the awful unaired pilot of the seminal TV show and discuss the ridiculous episode in our living room on Alex's birthday. Alex announces his new podcast, "Nuking Aliens", a still unreleased project he's been working on for 83 episodes, without releasing a single show. Dave assassinates the engineering choices of the Robinson Family's space car boat. Judith hates all over the space monkey. Gretchen keeps talking about crinkly avocado boobs for some reason, and James stumbles over words normal humans can utter with perfection.Strap your jetpacks on, Penny rode a space turtle into the jungle again!
2020. It was the worst of times and also the worst of times. Like many others out there, Gretchen and James decided it would be a good idea to start a podcast about something no one cares about so that no one would listen to us. Several beers later, they produced 13 episodes of miserable content to the delight of our three regular listeners. Here we have a full retrospective of our first year where we share the hardships, failures, and all the lack of talent that we poured into each episode. 
Melrose Place

Melrose Place

2020-10-1140:041

Hot off our exploration of Beverly Hills 90210, we crack open a Hop Camo IPA from Old Ox brewing in Ashburn Virginia and dive headfirst into the surprisingly pedestrian pilot for Melrose Place. We explore our first ONE STAR review and get a little petty about it. Pizzeria chips, 90210 cross-overs, proper technique to AC Slater a motorcycle, and Gretchen goes all one-take crazy with her voice-overs.Guess what folks, the world is a weird place and we are looking forward to carving out a tiny little space for you and me to curl up and cry until we can form our own militia where we run around throwing baked goods at each other. Also, I remember this one time when we had the most epic dirt-clod fight on this construction area and every once in a while you'd get hit by a chunk of dirt that had a rock inside it, and it would totally ring your bell. I don't know what other people did, but I took my allowance up to the 7-11 and bought a jumbo bag of cheese popcorn and a half a gallon of chocolate milk. The whole milk, not the yuppy 1% shit that they sell these days. Anyway, I sat there next to a tree and drank half a gallon of chocolate milk while devouring a whole bag of cheese popcorn and that was my life for a summer.So, I mean, in retrospect, COVID. Am I right or am I right?
Beverly Hills, 90210

Beverly Hills, 90210

2020-09-2155:49

Bike shorts under bike shorts. Broaches everywhere. Nose jobs. Overzealous chemistry teachers. Rex Manning. Beverly Hills, 90210 saved Fox Broadcasting from the dumpster fire of history, giving it just enough life to become the dumpster fire of journalism. Join us as we explore the pilot episode that gave the world Jason Priestly, Shannen Doherty, Ian Ziering, Brian Austin Green, Tori Spelling, Jennie Garth, and who cares who else. It's Beverly Hills! Valet your bullshit car and get on with it!!
Look what's happened to me. I can't believe it myself.  Gretchen and James drink a "Fear. Movies. Lions." from Stone brewing while watching the completely amazing 1981 classic, The Greatest American Hero, starring Bill Katt, Robert Culp, and Connie Sellicca. With an extra long tunic to cover that peen, Ralph makes everyone want a man-perm. Join us as we put one toe into the superhero wasteland.
At the dawn of the 1980’s, the toy company Mattel began actively developing new content to drive sales after regrettably passing on the Star Wars franchise. Mattel marketing director Mark Ellis brought a new line centered around a sword and sorcery barbarian fantasy world to the executives at Toys R Us.His presentation included a complete line of toys along with a mock-up for a comic series created by DC Comics. But when one of the retail executives retorted “Five year olds don’t read”, Ellis quickly replied “Did I tell you about the two one hour TV specials we are running?”The cartoons were a bluff, and didn’t exist, but a quick partnership with Filmation studios launched a cartoon alongside the toy line. The cartoon ran for 130 episodes and also produced a comic book series, a feature film, a spin-off called She Ra, two reboots, and over a billion dollars in sales.Ladies and gentlemen, tonight we are talking about He-Man and the Masters of the Universe!In this episode, we debate the finer details of Eternian geography, name-drop several friends without permission, invent a banger of a club-hit, and down some beers while reminiscing over plastic barbarian toys from 1983. Beers in this episode include Clown Shoes and a Commonwealth/Aslin collaboration: IPA #13.Also, please be sure to watch Gretchen's Drunk History episode here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hog0vC23LZI
Supermarket Sweep

Supermarket Sweep

2020-07-2035:36

Join us for the 1990's revival of the 1965 gameshow Supermarket Sweep! Contestants answer dumb trivia questions in order to earn time for a shopping spree where they embody the sprit of American excess by buying five of the most expensive everything in the grocery store. Hams? Check! Turkeys? Check! Diapers? Check! Formula? Check! Tons and tons of aspirin? Why not!Gretchen starts out the show a couple of sheets to the wind and finishes in hammer town, leading us through her general outrage and boisterous exuberance. James attempts to keep the train on the rails, but lets a few crashes happen here and there. At the end, we learn nothing, but have a decent time getting there.
Family Ties

Family Ties

2020-06-2927:02

What happens when you watch a relatively pedantic and boring sitcom and then try to talk about it? You produce a relatively pedantic and boring podcast! Come join us as we discuss the first episode of the classic situation comedy: Family Ties. In this episode, we discover the magic of Michael J. Fox, stumble though a few facts and bits of trivia, and generally phone it in.Two pinko-commie parents raise a young republican son who loves capitalism and white supremacy, and a daughter who just wants to own fun clothes while floating through life. There's a third child also, she'll probably grow up to be a roller girl or an anti-vaxer just to try and carve out some semblance of a personality while being continuously overshadowed by her much more interesting siblings. Family Ties tells the story of the Keytons as they navigate the tough choices presented by overwhelming white privilege, and reconcile the hippie ideals they abandoned but occasionally try to force upon their children when useful for a plot-point. 
My So Called Life

My So Called Life

2020-06-2201:10:36

Guys, here's what happens when you take two full weeks off of your podcast - you come back with a special JUMBO episode clocking in at 71 minutes! For this episode, we are joined by the legendary @boozeraccoons crew for our first ever tele-podcast crossover episode. Zooming in from across America, we discuss the premiere episode of "My So Called Life" and discuss the impacts upon both society and television.Gretchen connects with the pilot and finds herself in two very distinct characters. James expresses pleased ambivalence over the show as he fails to identify with a 15 year old girl. Alex aggressively sympathies with Patti and Sharon, and takes the explicit tag up a notch. Dave and Judith provide quality color commentary while dodging unexpected motorcycles. We all learn a little bit about friendship, and very little about Jim J. Bullock.My So Called Life... spotlights, Animal Bag, flashlight holsters in a tree, cops that stare blankly in the face of teenage philosophy, dudes that shout "you're dead", the Divinyls on mute, so many Devons, creepy dads, LL Bean, eyeliner, and so much more.
Perfect Strangers

Perfect Strangers

2020-06-0135:34

In 1986, a show debuted on ABC and brought Balki Bartokomous into our living rooms.  Following a wide-eyed immigrant from the fictional island of Mypos, Balki moves in with his very put-upon distant cousin Larry Appleton who's just trying to make it on the mean streets of Chicago. The pilot episode premiered as the bologna in a Who's the Boss? and Moonlighting sandwich, and somehow managed to sneak under the radar for 8 seasons and helped establish ABC's Friday night TGIF dominance.Our listeners can sample the Perfect Strangers pilot on Hulu if you want to see what all the fuss is about.In this podcast, Gretchen and James actually attempt to record everything live for a change. We share an Aslin Brewing Company Master of Karate, Double New England Style IPA. Gretchen gets a little tipsy, a little sassy, and a lot aggressive as we debate the finer points of this classic television sitcom. James talks about immigrants in a way that makes Gretchen uncomfortable. We take turns debating what is the worst part of this show, and in the end we learn a little bit about friendship and family.Is it a good episode? Don't be ridiculous.
Heat Vision and Jack

Heat Vision and Jack

2020-05-2530:42

In one hot stinker of an episode, Gretchen and James take a look at 1999's failed pilot "Heat Vision and Jack". Staring Jack Black, Owen Wilson, and Ron Silver, the show was written by Rob Schrab and Dan Harmon, and was directed by Ben Stiller hot off the success of "Something About Mary". In spite of a serious pedigree and an abundance of talent, the pilot was declined by both ABC and Fox and never made it to air. Traded for many years as in bootleg VHS copies, the episode finally made its way to YouTube where it gained a cult following.In this podcast, James tries to explain the plot to a very bored Gretchen as she daydreams about drinking and watching something entertaining. We drink a Victory Sour Monkey ale, get off on a tangent about the extreme mini golf show Holey Moley, and take a listen to messages from our fans. 
Who's the Boss?

Who's the Boss?

2020-05-1831:56

Groundbreaking television, socially conscious story lines, dramatic character arcs, and quality character development? "Who's the Boss?" had none of those problems, and instead focused on a fish out of water scenario as Brooklyn-Italian stereotype Tony Danza changes his entire life to accept a subservient role as a live-in housekeeper to Judith Light.In this episode, Gretchen and James drink a can of Aslin Brewing's Pew Pew Pew while discussing the finer points of Judith Light's effortless hair, Tony Danza's skimpy sweatpants, and the difference between a van and a truck.Visit our website at www.whospilotingthispodcast.com, give us a follow on twitter and instagram at @WhosPiloting and join our Facebook page!
Cheers

Cheers

2020-05-1140:28

Filmed before a live studio audience on Paramount Stage 25 in Hollywood, California, Cheers brought the world down the stairs of 112 and a half Beacon Street in Boston, Massachusetts to a dark mahogany and polished brass watering hole filled with characters that would become woven into the tapestry of television history. But it all started with a pilot.In this JUMBO-sized episode, Gretchen and James dissect the Cheers pilot while drinking a Commonwealth Big Papi DIPA. Highlights from this episode include: The mis-pronunciation of Ken Levine's last name We rename "The Good Place" to "The Good Life" even though we watched every episode James tries to explain to Gretchen what a "Mentat" is and "Andre" is the worst brand of champagne Join us every Monday!
Small Wonder

Small Wonder

2020-05-0425:191

What happens when a brilliant inventor solves artificial intelligence, natural language processing, spacial awareness, complex robotics, and atomic power in 1985 using a TRS-80? He uses his incredible scientific breakthroughs to create  a daughter that no one wanted! Welcome to the pilot episode of Small Wonder, where Ted Lawson introduces his wife and annoying son to V.I.C.I., the Voice Input Child Identicant he invented during his spare time at United Robotronics.Gretchen produces her first episode and our senile old dog wanders around the studio while we record. We also learn that the Lawsons have a pervy neighbor, a son with the mind of an old jewish comedian from the Catskills, and a Dad who doesn't know how to be successful and get a promotion even though he's literally advanced science by 50 years in his spare time. Oh, also, his wife Joan exists.Join us as we explore what might have been the worst television show ever to go straight to syndication.
The Golden Girls

The Golden Girls

2020-04-2624:16

In August 1984, during an event to promote the fall television lineup, 63-year old comedy actress Selma Diamond repeatedly mispronounced Miami Vice instead as as Miami Nice, to the amusement of the executives in the audience. Thinking there was something in the geriatric humor unfolding on stage, NBC ordered a pilot focusing on senior citizens living together in Miami.On Saturday, September 14th 1985 at 9PM, The Golden Girls premiered at number 1 with a 43 share, reaching an estimated 21 and a half million homes. It stayed in in the top 10 for six consecutive seasons, earning 68 Emmy nominations over 180 episodes, but it all started with a pilot.In this episode, we learn about The Golden Girls pilot episode, an actor named Charles Levin, Quentin Tarantino and Sophia's facelift. Mistakes were made, facts were certainly butchered and at the end we learned an important lesson about friendship. Or we didn't.Also, we drink Big Slice Juicy IPA from Three Notch'd in Charlottesville Virginia.Show errata: It's six degrees of separation, not eight Golden Girls ran for seven seasons, not eight The Golden Girls is copyright Touchstone Television, a Walt Disney Television company. The Golden Girls theme song, "Thank You For Being a Friend" was written by Andrew Gold. The music in this podcast was arranged and recorded by James Barnes.
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