Your Hope-Filled Perspective with Dr. Michelle Bengtson podcast

Episode Summary: In this episode of Your Hope-Filled Perspective, we sit down with Kenza Haddock, author of The Three Enemies of Your Mental Health: Gain Lasting Victory Over the Devil, the Flesh, and the World. Together, we explore the spiritual and emotional challenges that impact mental health and uncover the biblical strategies to overcome them. Kenza shares practical insights on identifying and defeating these "three enemies" - the devil, the flesh, and the world - through the power of God’s truth. Whether you’re battling anxiety, negative thought patterns, or the pressures of the world, this conversation will equip you with faith-filled tools to experience victory and lasting peace. Join us for an inspiring and hope-filled discussion on reclaiming your mental and spiritual well-being. Quotables from the episode: Today, we're going to be talking about conquering the three enemies of mental health. We’re attacked by the enemy on a daily basis. The key is to recognize the attack and fight back with the right weapons. I grew up in an Islamic household. And so just growing up, my understanding of the character of God was distorted. And so I grew up believing in a different God, but I thought he was the right God. I came to know the Lord is through a dream about Jesus. Growing up, I battled with my own depression. I battled with anxiety, but I didn't know that they were clinical depression and anxiety. It's like I was high functioning. I thought anxiety was the norm. It was normal for me to think something bad is about to happen. I had the symptoms of the clinical diagnosis. And it was about, I'd say, early 20s or so, when my depression just got worse and worse, to the point of suicidal ideations because I felt like I was, I had no hope. I decided to blaze my own trail. And I mean, I drove into astrology. I drove into chakras, reiki, everything you can think of. I tried to figure out my own purpose in life. And none of that brought me the peace that I remembered feeling when I had a dream about Jesus. What's incredible is God is so kind and so patient with us. You know, he didn't stop pursuing me. He didn't throw in the towel on me. He just kept pursuing and pursuing and he knew I was going to hit a dead end at some point and I did. I decided to give my life to Jesus and after I gave my life to Jesus and I moved to South Carolina and I just started my life from scratch. The Lord called me to the field of counseling. I had never thought I was going to become a counselor, but I felt the Holy Spirit for the first time, and I just felt this call toward the field. So I went back to school, finished my clinicals, and then I started treating brothers and sisters in the faith from both a clinical and a biblical perspective. I could not believe just how many patients I had who were self -professing believers, who struggled with the same ideas and the same issues and negative thoughts and oppressions that I struggled with as a Muslim. I noticed that even believers are not equipped to fight against spiritual forces of darkness. They're not. How did your family take it when you became a believer in Jesus Christ? – They didn't take it well. I had experienced persecution because of that. And the reason I moved to South Carolina is for safety reasons. I needed to start my life from scratch, but of course they found me and you know the Bible says count the cost Jesus said count the cost and for me the count the cost was my mother my father brother sisters my family was everything to me and I was raised with I pledged my allegiance to my family and so my allegiance would have been divided. When Jesus says that basically you have to put him before your mom and dad, it's not that you need to hate them, it's that you need to love him more. How does scripture reveal the roles of the devil, the flesh and the world as adversaries to mental health? What I have seen my practice is the devil will do anything possible to split our faith in Jesus. So even if it's 90% in Jesus and 10% in the object of our faith, that's splitting your faith in Jesus. We were made for relationships. When we spend time with the Lord, when we spend time with God, there is a chemical that gets released in our body and that chemical is serotonin that chemical combats depression just naturally okay now what happens is because we have the wrong perspective of God. We don't spend time with Him. We think the Bible is outdated. A lot of people think that. They have actually done a research out of Biola University where they claim that God is, they found that most people believe that God is mean, harsh, or distant. Those are the top three adjectives they use to describe God. And because of all of that, we run to self -medicate. And so, we self -medicate by watching too much Netflix, too much TV, right? We don't pay attention. For overcoming enemy number one, the devil, you have to renounce your dealings with the kingdom of darkness. There's no way around that. Now, number one, if you're not a believer, you have to give your life to Jesus. And I feel like I have to say this because I have had patients who came to see me and said, "Can you do it for me because you're a believer? Can we bypass Jesus?" No, we can't bypass Jesus. That's just not how it works. And the reason they say that is because they believe Jesus is a dictator and they have the wrong perspective about him. And so, they don't understand that he's a God who pursued them to the point of dying on the cross for them to satisfy the righteous requirement of sin so that they can have a relationship with Him. And so, number one, you have to have a relationship with Jesus. Psalm 139 that says, "Search me, O God, and know my heart. Test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that's offensive to you and lead me to the path of everlasting life." And just ask him to show you what in your life is taken priority or is not of him. And he will show you. It's a dangerous prayer, but he will show you. Don't ever think that God is condemning you because in Jesus there's no condemnation and God is not a man that he should lie. He doesn't lie to you. There's no condemnation. He may convict you if you're acting in a way that is incongruent to who you are in Jesus. But conviction says, "Hey, you should not have done that." Condemnation says, "Hey, you're a loser, you're this, you're that, and you'll never come back from it." There's a huge difference between the two. One, it redeems you. Because conviction is for the purpose of restoring our relationship with God. But condemnation serves to separate us. You know, when we feel guilty or condemned, we're embarrassed. And so, we separate ourselves from others and from God. So, there's a huge distinction between the two. The other area that the enemy gets a foothold besides lying to us is that very subtle did “God really say…? If he really loved you he would have X, Y, and Z.” It's that little word really that gets us to doubt what the Bible says about God. That's the oldest lie. It's the oldest lie. It dates back to Genesis and so what he does is he induces doubt. That's the cycle of enemy number one. He induces doubt and when he says “did God really tell you?” or “Does God really love you?” “Is God really looking out for you?” And he'll come to you, especially in times when you're desperate, then doubt leads to temptation and when you act on it and you don't receive God's forgiveness or you don't repent and receive God's forgiveness, it leads to shame and shame is going to lead to hiding. Unfortunately, we wear these masks and I call them defense mechanisms. Defense mechanisms are basically masks that we wear in order to keep God from, I mean, he's trying to heal us, but we try to push him away and keep him from healing the wounds that he's trying to heal. And these defense mechanisms that we employ, and I list all of them in the book, but most common ones are denial, like we deny that there's an issue with us, or there's repression, meaning we don't deny the problem, but we deny its effects on us. We act like, “Oh, no, everything is fine. Everything is okay.” Meanwhile, God wants us to bear our hearts to him. He wants us to surrender our wounds to him. Another practical way is ask the Lord to prioritize your life. It's a dangerous prayer and it's a dangerous request because he will prune who needs to be pruned. Yes, he will. Anything that doesn't bear fruit, he’s going cut off. So, it is a risky prayer, but what a fruitful prayer. Yes, because we were made for his purpose, and we were made to bear fruit. He made us for a specific purpose. And so many times, we just hit one dead end after another, after another, and we live a frustrated life, but really we can live a fruitful life if we just surrender to him and ask him, "Lord, I can't do it by myself. I need you to please just prioritize my life according to your will." And he will, because he wants to be part of every detail of our lives. For the longest time, I had a habit of just waking up and I just felt like I would wake up with anxiety. And believe it or not, so many people deal with this. They wake up and it's like, as soon as their feet hit the floor, like their heart is racing. And what I have found, something that I have found that has helped me so much. And if you want to start this tomorrow morning, and it has a clinical and a biblical basis is tomorrow morning, when you wake up, because it has helped me, instead of first thing is checking your phone, checking your email, because that's what I was doing, is first thing you do, start thanking the Lord God, spend 10 minutes, even if you have to wake up 10 minutes earlier, spend time thanking God for 10 minutes for everything He has done for you. You can find something, even if you are in the midst of despair, you can find something to thank God for. When we start thanking God, there's a chemical in our brain that gets released. It's called serot

Episode Summary: When we think of Christmas, we picture the manger scene, shepherds in the fields, angels singing, and a star guiding the way. But what if we’ve been missing one of the most important parts of the story all along? In her new book, The Spirit of Christmas, award-winning author Cynthia Ruchti invites us to rediscover the Holy Spirit’s presence woven throughout the Christmas narrative—from Genesis in the Garden of Eden to the cry of a baby in Bethlehem. This conversation will open your eyes to the power, presence, and promise of the Spirit of God in ways that may forever change how you experience Christmas.   Quotables from the episode: Christmas often stirs our hearts with nostalgia—decorations, carols, and retelling the story of Mary, Joseph, and the baby Jesus. Yet, as beautiful as those traditions are, there’s more to the Christmas story than we typically notice. Before the babe was conceived, the Holy Spirit was already at work, setting the stage and preparing the hearts of the biblical characters we know and love. This season, let Him set the stage and prepare your heart too. In her book, The Spirit of Christmas, Cynthia Ruchti helps us uncover the often-overlooked role of the Holy Spirit in God’s plan of redemption, reminding us that the Spirit has been present from the beginning—guiding, comforting, and empowering. If you’ve ever longed to experience Christmas with fresh wonder and deeper meaning, this conversation will encourage you to see the season through new eyes. I have found it fascinating that over the course of my life and maybe others have been in the same boat, we might grow up understanding Jesus quite well, or, and we hear Jesus loves me from when we're newborns and aren't even aware, perhaps, of that. And then I personally had gone through some seasons of my life where I thought, "I think I understand Jesus pretty well. I'm getting a good handle on who is this Jesus. I'm not sure I'm as familiar with God the Father as I need to be." So, I had a season of my life that was in my early 20s where I dove in and thought, "I need to know you better, God, my Father," and took an approach as I looked at the Word and noticed that throughout the Old Testament, God described himself as a God of love, which I thought was a New Testament idea. I understood who he was as the majestic Creator, and I think probably it kept him a little distant from me because I saw just that. Then a relative of mine had a heart transplant and I took a fresh Bible, and I circled everywhere in the Bible where the word love or heart appeared because I wanted this person who wasn't close to the Lord at the time to know and understand that God has been talking about the subject of love for a very long time. He's all over the Bible, so page after page was filled with the circled or the little heart drawn around the word love or the word heart. Then there came a season in my life where I thought, "I think I better understand now. We will never fully understand, but I think I better understand. God the Father, God the Son. Do I really understand the Holy Spirit? I know he is. I believe what the Bible tells me about the Holy Spirit, but do I really understand his role or how the different roles of the Trinity make a complete God for us? So, I investigated that, and I watched for his presence, but not as deeply as I did after I was challenged to look for the Holy Spirit's presence in the Christmas story. There was an editor who challenged me with that at a writer's conference. I found it fascinating. I thought that would be a very interesting study. We assume, I think, in the back of our minds that maybe the Holy Spirit is that presence that comes upon Mary in that moment when she conceives Jesus, the baby Jesus, as an infant just minutes old. And then we're not sure where else he might actually show up in the Christmas story. So that was a challenge to me, and I thought it sounded fascinating, but I didn't take the invitation from that editor seriously until a couple of weeks later, when she wrote to me and said, "I want you to write that book." So, then I got very serious and started the deep dive research of where is he? And in some ways, it was kind of a where's Waldo of the Holy Spirit in the Christmas story. That's what began this adventure. And for me, it really did alter my view of how I approach Christmas now for many reasons. And that was one of the reasons that I wanted us to have this conversation because I don't think we're alone in that tendency to not really acknowledge the Holy Spirit as much as we acknowledge Jesus or God the Father. I grew up in a denomination that the only time the Holy Spirit got mentioned was when it was God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit, period. So, I like that You took that editor up on the challenge to look for the Holy Spirit throughout the Christmas story. I wondered how far back I would have to trace to find the first evidence of the Holy Spirit and Christmas being linked together. And I realized it was in verse one. It was when the Spirit was hovering over the waters of a world that had yet to be created that was going to need a Redeemer. As we know, God has no beginning and no end, eternity past, eternity present farther than man can imagine. I realized that this in the formation with at creation, God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit, at creation forming a world that they knew was going to need a Redeemer and that that Redeemer was going to be thousands of years away from that moment. I saw the person of the Holy Spirit caring about what was going to happen all those centuries later, even in the creation process. How does that first crime connect to Christmas? There would have been no reason for Jesus to come as a human being if there were any way that we as humans could have behaved ourselves without him. And it wasn't very long into that early beginning creation story before that was so evident that without Christ present, without the Holy spirit present within us. We were never going to be able to satisfy what needed to be satisfied and keep us in a place where we could walk daily, in essence, walking by the Spirit like it talks about in the New Testament. When I began to put the pieces together of this incredible depth of story, this depth of even the communion of the Father and the Son and the Spirit, we saw the Holy Spirit in the Old Testament present in brief moments leading up to when Jesus would be born and then later on as we take that story even farther to his death and his resurrection and his intentional promise, “Hang in there people it's not only okay that I go back to heaven it's better for you that I do because then the Holy Spirit can come, reside inside you, and help you operate out of a place of knowing exactly my heart, knowing what God my Father,” Jesus said, “wants of you, and what will help you to live a life that will allow you to pillow your head every night in peace, no matter what's going on in the rest of your life.” The other thing that I really appreciate about Jesus knowing our every need is when he reminds us that he's got to send the Holy Spirit to remind us of all truth. As a neuropsychologist, that's one of the areas that I love to focus on the most because I have a short memory, and I need those reminders.  I love how the spirit of Christmas is our reminder of the gift of the spirit. I didn't grow up in a denomination that had an actual practice of Advent, of intentional preparation for Christmas season. I knew the word, Advent. I knew it was a good word. I knew it was a healthy word and lovely, but we just didn't have that particular practice. We oftentimes, even with Lent, that was another, it seemed like it was for a denomination that was more liturgical, let's say, in thought. But I think more and more these days, we're realizing that every heart needs to be prepared. Every heart needs to “prepare him room” as the one Christmas carol says. It’s actually for any day, but when we think about Christmas in particular, it is so easy to get caught up in all the to -dos and all the menus and all the party planning and all the some-things we're very happy to participate in, some things that just seem like one more chore. And it's kind of this wild cacophony of noise and tension, and there may be relationships that are especially challenged at Christmastime, there may be work -related things that are especially difficult at Christmastime. That is not at all what this is supposed to be about. But we early church members apparently understood that we need time to get our hearts ready for this such, such a holy, holy season. And the Holy Spirit is part of that. As we take a look at what was the Holy Spirit's role in the original story that began way back at creation, but was threaded throughout Scripture as He was present in speaking to Isaiah about a virgin shall conceive way back then. And it didn't say shall conceive in the next day or two. Again, thousands of years from that prophecy, but the Holy Spirit was inspiring that prophet Isaiah to speak of that. And as we look at it in the time period in which those words were spoken, there was chaos. There was political chaos. There was trouble on every hand. There was the son of a king who was now the king, and he was being a lousy king. And this interesting thing: I think he wanted to do the right thing. King Ahaz, I think, wanted to do the right thing. He heard from God, but he didn't trust that what he heard from God was enough. He needed to find other voices that he would listen to. He was getting influenced by all kinds of other people. And Isaiah was trying to bring him back to, "No, there is one God, and you can trust him." And as the Spirit was inspiring Isaiah to speak the words, he was saying to King Ahaz, "Ask God, ask him for a sign, and he'll tell you.” Ahaz didn't have that kind of relationship with God. So, he said, "Oh, I don't want to test God in

Episode Summary: In this episode of Your Hope-Filled Perspective, my guest Bill Derrick and I share how to navigate life’s unexpected challenges with faith and resilience. Drawing on powerful biblical principles, we discuss how to trust God in the midst of life’s storms and find restoration and hope when circumstances feel overwhelming. Our conversation dives into practical tools for facing adversity, embracing God’s peace, and emerging stronger through trials. If you’ve ever wondered how to hold on to faith when life takes an unexpected turn, this episode will inspire and equip you to trust God’s plan and find hope in the storm.   Quotables from the episode: I was also learning about the curse of success. When you're very successful, you feel like you could do no wrong. And you feel like you've got all the answers. And I had to learn that neither one of those points were necessarily true. I also had to learn that, yes, I'm in control until I'm not, and now I'm not in control anymore. And last of all, I had to kind of learn that my priorities, because of success probably, had gotten out of whack. When somebody asks you, “what's your priorities?” You automatically say, "Well, that's easy. God, family, and business." I think during this time, my priorities of success now, not necessarily when things went bad, but when we were very successful, one might look at the priorities as being more like “business, business, business, and then God and family, because we were doing well.” Just stick with it because the storm will end. It may not end the way you want it, but it will end and there will be blessings that you will find because of the storm. From a practical standpoint, as leaders, when you do your planning, you plan for success.  You don't necessarily plan for what happens if we fail? That's a hard thing to do as a business leader. From a faith standpoint, we're told in the Bible to build your house on a solid foundation so that when the storms come, we don't get washed away. So from that standpoint, I think that's how you can prepare: you go into these storms on the right foundation of faith and trust in God. I was realizing that God had just spent five or six years preparing me. I mean, you know, it sounds a little weird, but I was prepared. I said, we don't know what we were ready for, but we're ready for it and I don't know what the future holds but we're ready to move forward and because I knew that God was going to be there. I feel a calmness, a contentment, that brings me at peace with my situation. I am so grateful for a lot of things and I tell people don't be like me and have to get to the point where things start to be taken away from you for you to be grateful.  Being grateful can change your life. First of all, don't ask the question, “where is God?” God is there. The first question we need to ask is, "Where am I?" And lean into God. He doesn't necessarily cause these things, but at the same time, He uses them for our benefit. And if we can just get our minds to that point to where we understand that and we can say, "All right, God, I'm along for the ride. I'm going to do what I can, but you're driving and I need to let you take me where you want me to go." Unexpected circumstances can upend our neatly planned life at any time. God is always there. The question is, do we trust Him enough to help us through the storm by His means and His way? I am amazed at how blind I was before the storm and how God was working in my life. No matter what your circumstances, no matter what your age, no matter what your physical or mental situation, no matter how tragic your experience – believe and trust in the Lord. We all have a choice to make when the storms of life assail us. We can blame God and get angry, or we can let Him take control and trust Him. When things are stripped from our life, it helps lead us back to where we can trust God for our future. The storms we face in life don’t always end the way we want nor when we want them, yet they are often unwanted gifts from God. When things are stripped from our life, it helps lead us back to where we can trust God for our future.   Recommended Resources:  Restored by the Storm: Navigating Through Life’s Unexpected Challenges by Bill Derrick Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1 YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2 Revive & Thrive Women’s Online Conference Revive & Thrive Summit 2 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 1 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 2 Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian  Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.) YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader’s Choice Award Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue   Social Media Links for Host and Guest: Connect with Bill Derrick: Website / Facebook / Instagram / LinkedIn / X   For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book  Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails  /  Website  /   Blog  /  Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson)  /  LinkedIn  /  Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple   Guest: Bill Derrick holds a degree in engineering and an MBA. He helped lead his family construction business through a recession, rebuilt it, and watched it grow in both residential and commercial business. He is a cancer survivor who shares his journey.   Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary: Aging is not for the faint of heart. But weight gain, illness, and infirmity do not have to be a way of life in our older years. The Bible has much to say about energy, vitality, healthy living, and aging gracefully. Taking care of our bodies is not selfish: it’s critical. Scripture reminds us that our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit. If we don’t take care of our bodies, they won’t take care of us. What is it we need to know to age well? In honor of Women's Health & Fitness Day, we are thrilled to welcome Shemane Nugent, (wife of Ted Nugent) a fitness instructor with over forty-three years of experience, author of Abundantly Well, and a passionate advocate for aging gracefully. What if you could feel healthier and happier without giving up your favorite foods or spending hours at the gym? In this episode, Shemane will share her favorite tips for staying in shape, feeling energized, and embracing vitality in your forties, fifties, sixties, and beyond. Together, we’ll explore how simple daily choices can ignite passion and purpose, no matter your age.   Quotables from the episode: Those things that bring us to our knees, I believe bring us closer to God. And there have been a lot of people who have been through so much worse than I have. When we are, you know, trying to navigate through the storm. You can read every self -help book, and I did, and you can call out to God, and I did, and sometimes it might not happen overnight but it brings us to our knees, I believe bring us closer to God. Regardless of what situation or circumstance you're in, God has a plan for you. I am an unlikely messenger. Being healthy is an inside job. We tend to second guess ourselves. Regardless of where they're at in their life, especially where they're at in their health journey, I want to be your cheerleader. I want to come alongside you and advocate for you because I know it's not easy. I do have 44 years of experience in the health and wellness industry. I've taught just about every Fitness modality from step to spinning. I trained with Johnny G the guy who created spinning to slide to body pump to of course Zumba has been my favorite. I trained and developed programs for Zumba, traveled all around the world, training instructors and teaching probably, I don't know, 100,000 people, 100,000 classes. I mean, just having the time of my life, but that doesn't matter if you don't have joy inside, if you don't find your purpose. The baggage that we all carry with us into adulthood, if you had to put a weight on something that happened to you, when you were a kid, you know, somebody said something terrible to you and you still think about that, think about how much, just put a 10 pounds, 20 pounds, think about carrying that baggage around all the time and what your life would be like if you could just let go of it. As soon as I know that I'm awake, I don't even open my eyes. I say a prayer of gratitude, thanking God for my health and my family's health. That is number one for me. I think it's that first couple of steps that are the hardest. Yes, today was cold. It was dreary. I didn't want to exercise, and I do exercise regularly. But so yesterday, I just made an agreement with myself, just go do it for five minutes. Yes, five minutes. And you know what? 35 minutes later, I was so glad that I attempted the five minutes because it's that getting started. And so, friends, listen to what Shemane is saying. Maybe you just need an accountability partner. Maybe you need to text back and forth and say, okay, I'm going to make myself walk today. Hold me accountable tomorrow. There's something about being accountable that creates that momentum. What role does your faith play in your approach to health and wellness? - It's everything. And especially the last, I would say five years, but 10 probably overall, I've done a deep dive into spiritual warfare, the devil comes to steal, kill, and destroy. What better way than to make you doubt yourself, to destroy your health, your family's health? I do have a chapter in this book about spiritual warfare, and for me, faith is everything. Faith is everything that helps me get through the day. God is with us and He's there with us at a right hand and he will walk us through the storm. And sometimes we think we put too much pressure on ourselves to be perfect. He knows that we're not. And I think he loves it when we admit that, when we repent, and we just move forward. Every day we are so blessed, to have another day to start again, try again. And I want to encourage people to do that as So, not be too hard on yourself. That's a good piece of grace -filled advice. When I talk to patients, when I talk to my audience about self-care, that includes self -compassion. Extending grace to ourselves, it's so much harder sometimes for us to extend grace to ourselves that we would extend to a friend. Plan ahead of time, so that when the time comes, you don’t have any excuses to make poor choices. Aging gracefully incorporates our thought life. If we were gentler and kinder to ourselves. I think we would also be gentler and kinder to others when we're tempted to criticize because we often criticize because we're feeling bad about ourselves. She meant if we would come back to what God says, God says we are fearfully and wonderfully made. God says we are the apple of His eye. God says He delights over us with singing. If that's not reason to celebrate us without the makeup and the fancy hair and the fancy clothes, I don't know what is because God looks at the heart. Any plan to age gracefully has to look at what's going on in our heart and what's going on in our thought life. 46:12. I remember just having a sliver of hope, just a tiny little bit of hope. Sometimes that's all we need to get through the day. Focus on the good things focus on the positive things focus on that that open not just opened door, not an open window, but just maybe the windows cracked a little bit. We've got to really count our blessings and be grateful for those things that we have. I think I learned this from my mother, she was very complimentary towards other people. And when I first see somebody, like my friend the other day, I saw her, I'm like, you look really good. Let's compliment each other. Let's start from a perspective of joy and providing other people.    Scripture References: 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.” 1 Timothy 4: 4-5 “For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, because it is consecrated by the word of God and prayer.”   Recommended Resources: Abundantly Well: Bible-based Wisdom for Weight Loss, Increased Energy, and Vibrant Health by Shemane Nugent Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1 YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2 Revive & Thrive Women’s Online Conference Revive & Thrive Summit 2 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 1 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 2 Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian  Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.) YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader’s Choice Award Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue   Social Media Links for Host and Guest: Connect with Shemane Nugent: Website / Facebook / YouTube / Instagram / Podcast For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book  Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails  /  Website  /   Blog  /  Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson)  /  LinkedIn  /  Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple   Guest: Shemane Nugent, a bestselling author, has been an expert in the health and fitness industry for more than 40 years. She has been featured on VH1, MTV, CMT, Discovery, C-Span, Entertainment Tonight, Fox, and now hosts Faith & Freedom on Real America’s Voice network. After surviving a life-threatening illness caused by toxic mold, Shemane is dedicated to serving the Lord and helping others lean into ab

Episode Summary: If you’ve ever struggled with discouragement, and we all have because life is full of disappointment and disillusionment, then this episode is for you. In honor of National Day of Encouragement, my co-host, Rev. Jessica Van Roekel and I talk about How to Find Biblical Encouragement for Your Everyday Life. Discouragement can rob us of joy, peace, and a sense of purpose. Encouragement is more than a feeling - it’s a powerful tool to propel us toward hope and confidence even when life feels less than happy. Today we’re going to talk about how to find biblical encouragement for your everyday life. Quotables from the episode: In 2007, a group of young people at the National Leadership Forum at Harding University in Searcy, Arkansas saw a lack of encouragement as one of the main obstacles that people face. While dedicating a day to encourage others is noble, we can experience encouragement every day when we turn to the Lord and receive his encouragement. The challenge to receive biblical encouragement is when we know God’s promises but don’t see him working. This topic is close to my heart because I’ve seen firsthand how knowing God, and his promises have encouraged me in the face of difficult and seemingly unchanging circumstances. I know many of our listeners and viewers struggle with discouragement, and my prayer is that today’s conversation will bring encouragement and hope. Knowing God’s names helps us learn to trust him. When we trust him, it’s easier to experience encouragement in our every day. Psalm 9:10 says, Those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you. Relationships are an area where we can experience extreme discouragement. Personality differences can create division. Unforgiveness leads to rifts. It can feel discouraging to desire a healing in a relationship, but every effort is rejected. We’ve talked about the temptation to judge God’s goodness based on humanity’s failures. If our in-person relationships are broken, and we don’t have a vibrant or growing relationship with God, we grow discouraged because we were made for relationship. Friend, if you’ve found yourself in a place of discouragement—especially when you're facing relationship struggles—you are not alone. As a neuropsychologist, I’ve seen how deeply our relationships impact not only our emotional well-being but also our brain health. God designed our brains for connection. We were created in His image, a God who is relational by nature, and He wired us for fellowship—with Him and with each other. When our relationships are strained, whether due to misunderstanding, unmet expectations, betrayal, or emotional distance, our brains register it as a threat. That triggers our stress response—what we often call “fight, flight, or freeze.” Over time, if that stress continues unchecked, it leads to anxiety, depression, trouble sleeping, and a foggy, overwhelmed mind. Our thought life becomes a battlefield, and discouragement sets in. But here's the hope: God doesn’t leave us to navigate this alone. He sees every tear, hears every unspoken word, and knows the condition of our hearts and minds. Psalm 34:18 reminds us, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Our healing begins when we bring both our brain health and our relational wounds to the Great Physician. Practical steps include tending to your thought life—taking every thought captive (2 Corinthians 10:5), practicing forgiveness to unburden your heart, and choosing truth over lies. Sometimes that means setting healthy boundaries or seeking wise counsel. And always, it means leaning into the One who offers peace that transcends understanding. Your brain can heal. Your heart can mend. And your relationships can be restored—if not with others, then certainly with the Lord, who is the source of all true comfort and strength. Discouragement may visit, but it doesn’t have to take up permanent residence. Knowing God as Abba leads us to know God as a wonderful Father. (Galatians 4:6) He is the Alpha and Omega – Jesus was in the beginning as the Word of God and he is God’s final word for all eternity. (Revelation 21:6) As Adonai, we recognize his leadership in our life. He is our Lord and Ruler. (Ezekiel 16:8) El Chay, or Living God, reminds us that the entertainments, enticements, and other distractions are not worthy of worship. (Psalm 84:2) El Roi, The God Who Sees, encourages us with God’s mercy, grace, and comfort. We are not invisible to him. (Genesis 16:13) Jehovah-Jireh, The Lord our Provider, tells us God is our provider, and it is the same Hebrew word as Moriah, the region where God sent Abraham to sacrifice Isaac. God may ask us to give something up, and he gives us himself in return, and becomes all we need. (Romans 8:32) Jehovah-Nissi, The Lord Our Banner, paints the picture that we live under God’s banner. It was the name revealed when Moses erected an altar to commemorate the defeat of their enemies. It encourages us that we live under God’s victory. He goes before us and comes behind us to make us victors in life’s battles. (Exodus 17:15) The Lord Our Healer, or Jehovah-Rapha, encourages us because God heals our hearts in the here and now. (Exodus 15:26) The Lord is Peace, Jehovah-Shalom, our security, sufficiency, and serenity. (Judges 6:24) Jehovah-Tsuri, the Lord our Rock, helps us remember God is permanent, faithful, protective, a firm foundation, a hiding place and shelter. (Psalm 18:2) Knowing the names of God gives us insight into his character, which encourages us when we face different situations where we need to rely on a different aspect of God’s character. For example, if someone feels discouraged because of life’s chaos, remembering God is Jehovah Shalom encourages their heart because God is their serenity. God is a covenant making and covenant keeping God. The primary promise of the covenant is the Lord’s promise to “be God to you and to your offspring after you.” The goal of God’s covenant with humankind is to bring salvation, not just to one nation, but to the entire human race. This covenant was eventually fulfilled through Jesus Christ as his followers began to spread the good news about him throughout the world. God made a covenant with Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, the Israelite nation, David, and finally the whole world through the death and resurrection of Jesus. Covenants, or promises, are conditional because they are based on the agreements of two parties. God cannot go back on his promises, but we can refuse the comfort of the promises when we fail to take God at his word and allow doubt to lead us to sin. Because of God’s covenants, we have promises like the promise of his presence. Isaiah 41:10 says, “Do not be afraid for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.” (NLT) Deuteronomy 31:8, “‘Do not be afraid of discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.” (NLT) Isaiah 43:2, “When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. Joshua 1:19, “This is my command – be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Those are wonderful reminders of God presence. I know I’ve needed to believe them by faith because sometimes what I see, and what I feel don’t match up with what I know to be true. I also cling to the promise of Victory found in: John 16:33, “I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” Exodus 14:14, “The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm.” 2 Corinthians 12:9-10, “Each time he said, ‘My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.’ So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, persecutions, and troubles I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” Isaiah 40:29, “He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless.” God promises to guide us: Psalm 32:8, “The Lord says, I will guide along the best pathway for your life. I will advise and watch over you. Psalm 37:23-24, “The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand. Psalm 23:1-2, ‘The Lord is my shepherd; I have all that I need. He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams. Not only does God promise us his presence, victory, and guidance, but he also promises rest, life, peace, and forgiveness: Rest: Matthew 11:28-29, “Then Jesus said, ‘Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Life: John 3:16, “For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.” Peace: Isaiah 26:3, ‘You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you.” Forgiveness: 1 John 1:9, “But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleans us from all wickedness.” Our faith grows when we plant our feet on God’s promises. (Psalm 34:18) He is close to the broken hearted and rescues those who are crushed in spirit. (2 Cor. 4:8-9) We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. (Isaiah 54:17) “No weap

Episode Summary: Jesus told us to go into all the world and share the gospel. Yet many Christians admit they struggle with the confidence to do so. In this episode, my son, Blake, joins me to talk about how to start natural conversations that open the door to sharing your faith with others. Together we share practical ways to make those conversations genuine and meaningful.   Quotables from the episode: God tells us to go to all the ends of the earth. And he says that it's his desire that none would perish, not even one. So we have a responsibility to share our Christian faith with others while we still have the time. My faith really became my own when I went off to college. One of the big focuses of our church’s college ministry was evangelism. We were practicing evangelizing towards students who maybe didn't have a worldview set in stone yet. Lots of students who were leaving the home and flying the nest for the first time and looking for an explanation for the world around them. Something to cling to as they looked for hope and as they looked for something to identify themselves with. Since graduating college, handful of years ago, I have moved into a job in the professional workforce where I am around adults who now have a set worldview. And my practice of evangelism has had to change from inviting people who are seeking a worldview to adopt the worldview of Christianity and pursue our loving God and Savior, while they were just looking for a way to identify themselves. And that was an easy invitation to now discussing with strangers and coworkers who have set worldview and who have set opinions on Christianity, which has definitely been a shift. It is important to ask people about themselves and to ask people about their beliefs and even when people aren’t comfortable talking about themselves, people are generally willing to talk about their hobbies and their beliefs about the world and how the world operates and how the world should operate. Efforts to evangelize with people can be difficult because even if it’s true that you were sinful and there’s a solution to sin and we can be forgiven for it, people don’t care about the sin if they don’t think that the God that says these things are sin exists or they don’t think that God has any impact over their life or over what happens after their life and so it’s not until you get people to a place where they recognize this God is real and he does have an impact on our life and what happens after our life that they care about what he says is sin and what he says is wrong. We all start with questions of “who am I?” “Where did I come from?” “Why and I here?” “How am I supposed to treat other people while I’m here?” and “Where am I going?” Two important questions are “what do you mean by that? Why do you believe that?”  People don’t care what you have to say, until they know you care. even just asking the question, what do you mean by that, it shows that you have interest, you care about their beliefs and where they came from. Right. And I think that that question is powerful and it serves multiple purposes because when people have legitimate hurts, you don't want to just immediately jump to the Bible and go, well, you shouldn't have been hurt by that because that's not how God is. - Or God works all things together for good. Right, which is true. And that's a helpful response for Christians who you're close to and you know that that will hold some value to them. But for someone who's not a Christian, that response will necessarily feel insensitive. - Yes. - And so to ask, what do you mean by that when you're discussing with someone who has legitimate hurts from the church or legitimate hurts from people who are Christians, further clarifies what their beliefs are, which is helpful for you because you get an understanding of what you're actually responding to.   Recommended Resources:  Tactics: A Game Plan for Discussing Your Christian Convictions by Greg Koukl Street Smarts: Using Questions to Answer Christianity’s Toughest Challenges by Greg Koukl Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1 YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2 Revive & Thrive Women’s Online Conference Revive & Thrive Summit 2 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 1 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 2 Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian  Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.) YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader’s Choice Award Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue   Social Media Links for Host: For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book  Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails  /  Website  /   Blog  /  Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson)  /  LinkedIn  /  Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple   Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson   Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary: Not one of us is exempt from loss. We lose what we expected, what we thought we believed, what we dreamed, our sense of security or identity. We lose friendships. We lose people we love. What do we do with the disruption, the devastation of loss? How do we survive unpredictable grief, ongoing suffering, and the questions about God that happen in the dark nights of our lives? None of us want to be in seasons of sorrow. But sometimes the dark nights of life and faith have strange gifts. On the other side, we find ourselves free from the superficial in our lives. We discover peace and the assurance that we are loved. And we may experience a deeper, more honest relationship with the God we found in the dark. In this episode, I sit down with pastor and author Aubrey Sampson to talk about navigating deep loss and learning to sense God’s presence in the darkest seasons.   Quotables from the episode: For me, writing was a prayer, writing was an anchor to God, writing was trying to figure out what in the world was happening when everything felt very out of control. And ultimately, writing did become a lifeline to hope in the midst of something that felt very hopeless. Grief is also very difficult to find language for, to explain, because it can feel like so many jumbled, opposed, and poignant metaphors or events all at once. Grief is like jumping on a cheerless trampoline, a constant disorientation between adrenaline and gravity. Grief is an empty, dilapidating playground, a sad, stoic icon of lost memories and what could have been. Grief is a firestone, full of uncontrollable destruction and rage and simultaneously a mudslide, sloppy, shocking and unstoppable. Grief is a planet, vast, cold, and mysterious, and grief is somehow also a roly-poly pill bug, often unnoticed by others, unarmored and earthy. The questions I was asking felt like almost like I described them in the book as like baby-deer questions. They just felt very vulnerable to me to be asking a God that I have centered my life around questions like, "Are you real? Is your arm too short to heal cancer? Where are you? Are my prayers hitting the ceiling fan or are they actually going to your ears, Lord?" I was asking some questions that I sort of felt like I should not be asking these, not because I felt ashamed. I know God can handle our hard questions. It wasn't that. It was just like, I should be beyond these questions by now. But the grief was so tender, Michelle, and so close. Some of my prayers were like, “how could you? Like, how dare you?” And part of it was her journey. She experienced healing from cancer about a year in and they didn't call it remission yet. But the doctors did say, this is great, cancer -free, the chemo's done what it should, and then about three months later, it came back with a vengeance. So that was some of it too. The whiplash of it made me ask God some really difficult questions. Like, “can you do anything good in this, God? Like, this feels so lacking in goodness, so lacking in hope, so lacking in beauty you are taking a mom away from three young sons you are taking a daughter away from parents a sister away from sister. Can your goodness reach even into this place?” There's just so many situations that prompt those honest gut level questions. Like, I know you God, but I don't understand. I don't understand and God often doesn't answer our why, but he does invite us to be honest with our questions. I mean, I think about so many in the Bible and some of the questions they ask, you know, it'd be easy to say, well, how could they dare? But we ask our own variety of those same questions. And I find it helpful to read those questions in scripture because, you know, you find some comfort in, "Okay, these were historical, ecumenical, faithful followers of God throughout history, and yet they are asking God the same questions. How long, O Lord? How lonely, I feel." Lamentations is full of these, like, "How could you? How dare you? How will you fix this?" And so to be able to know that actually, though it feels opposite of our faith. Actually, this type of posture before God is a very, I think, crucial part of our faith journey. I think God actually allows us and wants us to ask those questions on purpose as part of our spiritual formation. Again, we kind of get into our heads as if this isn't faithful or something's wrong. I'm going backwards spiritually, but then when you read those questions all throughout scripture, you can find some comfort in like, okay, these people are in the Bible, right? They were faithful followers of God. They're asking the same questions I'm asking. Yeah, God used them as examples for us. That's it. To teach us, to encourage us. One thing that you want as a Christian, even in your darkest hours, is for God to come for you with a sense of comfort. Holy Spirit provides you peace. Holy Spirit provides you a sense that God is with you. God sees you. God is around you. And what I found in my season of grief was that was not occurring. I could not sense God with me. I couldn't hear God speaking to me. I could not “connect with God.” I was just like, “God, where are you? Like, I can't even sense your spirit comforting me and I need you more than ever.” And I began because of the Lord's kindness, I was meeting with a spiritual director at the time. And I began to read about a very common spiritual experience again throughout history, again throughout the Bible, called the Dark Night of the Soul. Which, again, we tend to use it a little generically just to me, and I'm going through a hard time, that's a Dark Night of the Soul. A dark night of the soul was coined by St. John of the Cross right after the Spanish Inquisition. And what he talked about was the very thing I'm talking about, when you cannot sense God answering your prayers, when you cannot sense God's nearness, when you cannot see what God is doing, that sense of God's quote "absence" is actually what it means to walk through a dark night of the soul. That can happen in grief, it can happen in loss, it can happen just in life, midlife crisis, it can happen. And what we find in dark nights of the soul is something that We know to be true, God never leaves us nor forsakes us. But for some reason, God does tend to pull back that "felt sense of His presence." And part of what God is doing, we can't all understand everything God is doing, but part of what God is doing is teaching us that our faith is not just about a feeling. Our faith is about the object of our faith, Jesus. And so, whether we're "feeling" the presence of God or not, can we choose to have faith that says He is true, His character is true, He is steadfast, I will keep believing, I will keep leaning in, I will keep being faithful even when I can't "feel" Him. And there's something mysterious and explosive and actually good that we find in dark nights of the soul even though it's often quite painful and confusing. Michelle, it is hard to sort of find yourself on the grief map when you're in it, especially when it's fresh. And so sometimes you don't know is where I'm at normal, okay, should I be farther along than I am. And the hard part is, depending on the context texture from, often people want you to be further along than you actually are. And you're just not, I mean, it just until you've walked through grief, you, you don't know, no, no, no, I can't move faster than I can move. I am right where I am. And that's as far as I can go. I wrote about these, these three different moments in darkness to try to at least help readers, grievers, someone walking through any type of loss or transition to sort of go, "Okay, I might find myself here." And also, to say any of those places are right where you're supposed to be. God is not rushing you past the finish line of pain. Some of us, I think, like I said, rush past it or pretend it isn't happening, but just to go, "Okay, God, things are changing. This is a new season. I don't necessarily like it. I don't really enjoy why I'm here, but I'm going to trust you've got some discoveries for me. And so, I'm going to keep open to whatever you're doing as the night falls. And then the next phase, midnight, I mean, this is where I wrote about my best friend's jet death and just everything changing. I mean, it is just the onslaught of grief that you feel physically, you feel emotionally you experience spiritually it's in your body it's in your mind it's you know you know this from the mental health world your brain is flat you can't really function the way that you used to function and I wanted to put some language for that again just to say it is normal and your only job is to be gentle with yourself at your spiritual midnight your emotional midnight like just Be kind to yourself. Be kind to yourself. I think we want to learn the lesson and we want to build the muscles and we want to build resilience. We want to grow in our depth and our meaning. That will come, but it is okay to be right where you are for as long as you need to be, especially in that initial onslaught of grief. We write a lot about that in the section on midnight. And then the last section, when I was very careful not to do, Michelle, and I think you'll appreciate this as one who talks about her own depression. I didn't want to say, "But the sun is coming. Sunrise is on its way." I did not want to write another book about, like, quote, "sunny spirituality," because that's not always what healing is. Healing isn't always darkness to light. Sometimes healing is this gradual progression of, "Oh, I see a little glimmer of hope here." Okay, here's some light coming through. I think so often we celebrate like the mountaintop, or the victory and we forget to celebrate what a courageous thing it is to step out in community again after loss or try something new after loss or frankly put pants on and go to Target after loss like those are victories. And so, I wanted to write and s

Episode Summary: Marriage is a commitment borne on the wings of love that embraces the whole person, warts and all…for better, for worse; for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. But at a time when commitment levels are low and failure rates are high, we need to be pro-active in protecting our marriages, and looking at them from a biblically-based, hope-filled perspective. Dr. Gary Lovejoy and I talk about the keys to long-term marital success and happiness. Quotables from the episode: Every relationship has its unique issues, but there are identifiable patterns that predict the most likely outcomes in the struggle to make a good life together. You say that aggressiveness and passivity are both a cover for fear. What do you mean? Well, because when we're fearful we have different possible reactions. Sometimes when we're fearful we lash out because we think that aggression will protect us. And this is particularly true for men, And it's also true for women too, but they'll lash out in various ways of being angry. Sometimes sadly enough, it can even lead to physical, espousal abuse. And all they may, in their fear, may withdraw. They just say, "I'm afraid to talk, I'm afraid to share, I'm afraid to open." Sometimes they come from families where they were very close families. No one talked about anything. All issues and conflicts were simply buried. And that's, so that becomes their M.O. Humility is often misunderstood. I look at humility in terms of the ability to understand who we are and who God is and the difference between the two, and that there is an inexplicable relationship between humility and self -esteem. People who have low self -esteem, we think, oh, they're humble. You know, they're always putting themselves down. That's not humility. Actually, humility requires self-esteem. The two are so closely interact-related. What Paul was saying is that the husband must be humble enough to serve his wife and to love her and the wife is doing turns serve her husband and By serving loving, loving and serving are two sides and same point if you love them. You'll want to serve them if you sir and as you serve them you love them more and so there's a reciprocity there that's definition of humility and it's essential for a good strong marriage, because if you don't serve one another, you don't respect each other. And if you don't respect each other, you don't have the kind of intimacy that can otherwise be possible. You talk about the family as being, I love this term, incubator of bad habits. What do you mean by that? Well, what we learn in how to resolve conflict is we watch how it's done in home. The only models we have are the ones that we're at home. We don't live with anybody else. We just live with our parents and our family. And if what goes on at home is mom and dad don't talk to each other, or they have arguments and never resolve them, or they yell at each other constantly, or they withdraw, then dad draws, or mom withdraws in the cold atmosphere, and that's how they handle every conflict, and then eventually wears off, and then the next day, or it's OK, that's how they learn to resolve conflict. And so when they go into their marriages, they know nothing different. And so they walk in, and they're handling conflict the way their family always is. So, it's fair to say then transparency is the hallmark of a good marriage? Absolutely. If we're not transparent, there's no way we can deal with the issues. You know, the issues don't go away simply by ignoring them. And a lot of people handle them that way, they just hope they'll go away and they ignore them. But conflict is not a bad thing. We think conflict, oh, that's a bad thing, but I don't view it as bad a thing. I view it as opportunities for growth. Because if we all, there are sometimes couples who succeed, actually succeed in becoming clones of each other, because they both fear conflict. So they cover over their differences and they come in and their whole marriage is a pretense. And it's not that satisfying. The first thing that's important in resolving conflict is to come at it, not from an accusation point of view, but say, but talking about how can we make things better. There's some things that I'm not sure how to handle well, and so I thought if we can sit down and talk about it, that maybe we can figure out a better way to handle it. Now it's a "we" thing, not a "you" thing. Once you make it "you" thing, it's an accusation. If it's a "we" thing, then, and in every way, you say, well, it's not, I'm not at fault. My part of my, my spouse is at fault. You say, no, in every conflict, each person is doing something wrong. Even if you think you are the one who is the victim, it's how you respond as a victim that may be part of the problem. So, so anytime I was working, when I worked with couples, I always talked about how they can digest each other's roles and, and, And how they can see that they have some things to do to grow in this relationship just as much as their partner does. So it’s a reciprocal thing. Marriage is a commitment borne on the wings of love that embraces the whole person, warts and all. Protecting your marriage from the assaults on its integrity and loyalty is paramount to preserving it. Many couples start marriage with false expectation, weak commitment, or past wounds – all that eventually come to the surface when relationships face challenges. It’s incumbent upon every couple to periodically assess the current state of their marriage to determine if there are any ways they relate to each other that are perceived to be disrespectful or that draw down the level of trust in one another. The unexamined life is simply not an option if you want a satisfying marriage. Contemporary marriages fail at close to 50%. For those who marry again, second marriages fail at 67% and third marriages at 73%. Most marriages die from apathy. Most of us don’t learn from failure the first time around. Divorce is trifling with God’s work…the truth is you will never have a union between two perfect people. Recommended Resources: Marriages in the Bible: What Do They Tell Us? By Gary H. Lovejoy, Ph.D.   Light in the Darkness: Finding Hope in the Shadow of Depression By Gary H. Lovejoy, Ph.D. 8 Things Every Woman Should Know About Depression By Gary H. Lovejoy, Ph.D. Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1 YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2 Revive & Thrive Women’s Online Conference Revive & Thrive Summit 2 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 1 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 2 Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian  Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.) YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader’s Choice Award Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue   Social Media Links for Host and Guest: Connect with Dr. Gary Lovejoy: Website For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book  Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails  /  Website  /   Blog  /  Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson)  /  LinkedIn  /  Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple   Guest: Dr. Gary Lovejoy earned his doctorate from United States International University. He was in private practice in professional counseling for over 40 years, specializing in marriage counseling and in the treatment of anxiety disorders and depression. He is the author of Light in the Darkness: Finding Hope in the Shadow of Depression and 8 Things Every Woman Should Know About Depression.   Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary: When God plants a dream in your heart, the journey to seeing it fulfilled can be filled with challenges and delays. In this Sacred Scar Story, Grace Fox shares how she held onto the calling God gave her through years when opportunities seemed out of reach. She opens up about the lessons learned in the waiting, the perseverance it built, and the deep assurance that God’s timing is always perfect. If He has given you a dream, this conversation will encourage you to trust Him to bring it to pass.   Quotables from the episode: My husband and I worked at a year-round Christian camp for eleven years, and God had made that abundantly clear that we were supposed to be there.  The director of that camp seemed to struggle with women who demonstrated leadership qualities. That was where I wrote my first three or four books, and I was a speaker but this director didn’t give me any opportunity to use these gifts. I had so much shame because others noticed that I was a speaker and yet wasn’t being given the opportunity, and when they would ask why I wasn’t being used right there where I worked, I had no answers for that. I lived with a deep sadness within my heart. I lived with a sense of rejection, and a sense of “what’s wrong with me? There must be something wrong with me.” Because I didn’t have the opportunity to practice the gifts that I thought God had given me, I began to question if I misheard God. It was almost like Jesus not being able to heal in his own hometown. One morning during my quiet time, I prayed, “If this is of you, then will you do something with it? Will you use it? But if this is not of you, take away the desire because I don’t want to spend any more energy or negative emotions on this, wishing I could do this but not having the opportunity.” At 7:00 that morning, I received a call from a woman about 40 miles away asking me to speak at her women’s event. It was like God saying, “Grace, I heard your cry. I see you in your pain and I just want to assure you, it’s not all in your head. You do have this gifting, and I’m going to bring it about in my time.” And He did, eventually. All of a sudden, doors started opening for speaking engagements. So, I began flying out of there to speak to groups who invited me to come when I wasn’t being asked to speak in my own place. During that time, while I was waiting for that to come about, I cleaned a lot of toilets, scrubbed a lot of pots and pans, and baked a lot of birthday cakes for kids who came to camp or counselors that were there during the spring and summer. I really developed a lot of humility during that time and patience in waiting for God to bring my dream to fulfillment. When the camp director left and another director assumed the position, who had been on staff longer than we had been there, he approached me and said, “Grace, I need a speaker for a women’s event coming up and I think you’ve waited long enough. Will you do it?” There have been a couple other camp directors since then, since we left, and they have all invited me back to speak at my old stomping grounds. I learned from that that if God plants a dream in your heart, you need to not rush ahead, trust in God’s timing because he will bring it to pass but there is a lot to learn in the journey to getting there. I think God needed me to learn perseverance because what I do now requires perseverance too. I can’t do this in my own strength. I don’t want to try to do this in my own strength—it’s done in His strength. It’s also given me an empathy for other women who are younger than myself, but they also feel like God has put a dream in their heart but wonder why it isn’t happening. I get to share with them, “Be patient. Don’t give up. Because if God is in this, He will bring it to pass. It’s the lessons learned along the way that really matter. It’s the character we learn in those hard places.” If God is in it, don’t quit until He says so! Persevere and learn what you can along the way.   Scripture References: Mark 6:4-5 “Then Jesus said to them, ‘Only in his hometown, among his relatives, and in his own household is a prophet without honor.’ So He could not perform any miracles there” Luke 16:10 NLT “If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones.” James 5:11 NIV “As you know, we count as blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job’s perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy.”   Recommended Resources: Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1 YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2 Revive & Thrive Women’s Online Conference Revive & Thrive Summit 2 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 1 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 2 Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian  Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.) YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader’s Choice Award Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue   Social Media Links for Host and Guest: Connect with Grace Fox: Website / Facebook / Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book  Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails  /  Website  /   Blog  /  Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson)  /  LinkedIn  /  Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple   Guest: Grace Fox is the award-winning author of 14 books including her latest release Names of God: Living Unafraid. She’s a member of the First 5 Bible study writing team for Proverbs 31 Ministries, co-hosts the podcast “Your Daily Bible Verse,” and co-directs International Messengers Canada—a missionary sending agency with 300 staff serving in 30 countries. She and her husband live fulltime aboard a sailboat near Vancouver, British Columbia.   Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary: Being busy is a drug for most people. We believe that busyness is a badge of honor, that constant activity is good, and that productivity (whatever that means), makes us worthwhile. People like to talk about being busy all the time, but oftentimes their relationships suffer. So often we sleepwalk through our days, but there is a tremendous gift in practicing awareness in this present moment. In a culture that gives accolades for business and achievement, we run the risk of forgetting how to be present. Scripture reminds us to “Be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10) but how often do we willingly slow down? My guest, Courtney Ellis and I talk about how to be present in the moment and reap the benefits.   Quotables from the episode: What would it look like to love my actual neighbors? What would it look like to press into this particular church? What would it look like to make our kids' schools our schools and really put our feet on the ground and help in all the ways that we can? And so this book came out of that desire that my husband and I had and that commitment we made before God to really try to live into the ministry of stability as long as he called us to. That's a big change after moving six times in six years. It is, it is. You learn some bad habits when you move a lot. Friends in the military, friends who have to move a lot and they say, yeah, you pick up some bad habits. So, we had to unlearn a lot of bad habits. You talk about leaning in and being present. So, what are some practical ways that we can choose to be present in the moment? And then what are some of the benefits? There are so many small, beautiful ways we can choose to be present. Often the easiest one is just to keep your phone in your pocket or your purse because it's fascinating. You'll be at the grocery store, and you see people standing in line and you can time it. People will stand in line patiently for about 30 seconds and then the hand goes down and the phone is out. And it's not that they're being impatient, but might as well use the time to do the word or scroll Facebook or whatever it is. And so, part of this, practicing this attentiveness toward God and being present in the moment is simply resisting that urge to do the easiest thing which is to pull out technology and distract ourselves. Sit near a window and just take a few minutes and observe what you see and it's almost like your soul is the shaken up snow globe and as you sit all of that snow starts to settle and you may hear from God, you may hear things in your own heart that you've been kind of stuffing down and as you're present to yourself, present to what you see around you, present to the Lord, beautiful things can happen. When we can make decisions in our lives ahead of time and leave them closed, it opens up our minds to new possibilities. It gives us new energy. And that's the difference between kind of leaving or living poised to leave and living planning to stay. And God may call us to go tomorrow, but today, if that decision is closed, we have all of these possibilities in front of us that we can turn our full attention to without already being fatigued. You refer to limits as a God -given grace. What do you mean by that? I don't like it. I'm going to start with that. I don't either. Talk about that for a minute. Yes. I want to be infinite. I want to keep going. I want to keep running. But limits ultimately are a grace and they're a reminder to us of our creatureliness that we are part of God's creation. We are not God. Even small things like coming to the end of a day and needing to go to sleep is a reminder of the limits God has set in our days, in our world, in our life. Multiple times a day we have to stop and eat. And that's an intentional creation of God. God could have created us to not need food. God could have created us to eat once a year. But these intentional checks and balances in our lives are an opportunity to practice dependence on God, to understand that our finitude is not burden, but it's grace, even if we are not always able to receive it in that way. Why do you call yourself an achievement addict and what does this have to do with learning to take a Sabbath rest? Yes, I would imagine I'm talking to another achievement addict here on the show. It takes one to know one. Yeah, I, especially early on in my life, that was where I would receive a lot of praise and adulation. And so I really grew into this. I am what I do. And if I've done enough in a day, I can feel good about myself, you know, when my husband and I compare notes at the end of the day and he'll say, "How was your day?" I still will most often jump to, "Well, I got a lot done and I feel really good about that." It's like, "Do you? Okay, let's talk about that. And there's nothing wrong with achievement, there's nothing wrong with being a driven person. But where you encounter some difficulty is when that becomes your identity. So, on a day where I'm ill, on a day where, you know, the kids didn't cooperate, on a day where something unexpected got thrown on my plate ministry -wise, does that mean I'm less of a person because I didn't check off my list? No, it doesn't. It means that God is the God of interruptions and God is the God of limitations.  There's great grace in realizing that we are, you know, the old cliche, we're human beings, we're not human doings. and God has created us that way out of love and care and grace so we can rest at the end of the day even while leaving things undone. And that is the message of Sabbath is that once-a-week God commands doesn't invite doesn't suggest God commands that we rest from our labors and not because everything is done not because everything is polished and finished. And I love what Eugene Peterson, wonderful Presbyterian author has to say about Sabbath, which is that if you work with your mind, you should Sabbath with your hands. So, there should be worship, but also, you know, often my husband is out in the garden on Sabbath because that allows his mind to rest. But if you work with your hands, you should Sabbath with your mind. Busyness keeps us from stability and stability is what healthy people and a healthy society desperately needs. The United States has traditionally been one of the most mobile countries in the world with the average American moving about eleven times in their lifetimes. By contrast, Europeans move about four times. Busyness and the transitory nature of our lives and jobs means fewer deep connections with others. Fostering community is some of the toughest, most painful work we engage in. Being present means that we deliberately choose stability. In a world marked by transience, envy, and rootlessness, committing to stay put is a radical, unusual act. Transience threatens to dull our awareness of God. While stability may not always be our choice (like with a job relocation), it is something to be sought after. Remembering to pay attention can be the trickiest spiritual practice of all. Being present is about choices: setting aside time to rest (Sabbath) but also setting aside distractions (like technology). Sabbath is not a gift to you because you've achieved enough. It's actually a gift so that you will rest from your achievement and that's hard. In fact, you write remembering to pay attention can be the trickiest spiritual practice of to hack that a little think in many ways, those are the two primary spiritual disciplines, but what I'm learning is the older I get that the fundamental spiritual practice for all of us is learning to pay attention, to pay attention to God, to pay attention to our neighbor, to pay attention to what God is stirring up in our own souls, to pay attention to what God's stirring up in our broader culture. A lot of it comes back to those practices of noticing and being present with people. This is what Jesus did so well. Jesus was present with people who were very different than he was, people who had been wearing t -shirts with slogans that he did not agree with. And he did that by simply being present with people, by sharing meals with them, by having conversations, by noticing, he meets the woman at the well and through the power of the Holy Spirit, he knows things about her that we wouldn't have known, but we can notice, and we can love as Jesus loved. And so in building community, some of the best tools we have are not going on 100 miles an hour so we can pause at the mailbox and say, "Hey, how was your day?" So we can notice the person in the grocery store check-out line. So, it's slowing down and then practicing that same attentiveness, that spiritual practice of noticing with people. A big percentage of our listeners and viewers are dealing with pain, whether it's physical pain, it's emotional pain, relational pain, or even spiritual pain. So how can we learn to find God's presence in the present moment in the midst of our pain? What a good question. I think the first thing I'd say is sometimes you need to escape the pain a little bit and that's okay. Sometimes what you need are six episodes of the Great British Baking Show and God honors that and God blesses that. God doesn't always force us to face down our pain every minute of every day. So, it's kind of two feet of walking, we face it and then we take a breather, we take a rest, we take a nap. But I think the surprising thing, and we read this so often throughout the journey of Scripture, is that in those most painful moments, we find an intimacy with God that we don't find any other time. I would want to leave them with the gentle permission to slow down, to look up and look around, and to see what grace, God has strewn right in your path, right in front of you. It's easy to look for greener pastures. It's easy to lean into the dissatisfaction that our culture showcases all around us, but truly God has strewn our world with such delight. We slow down and start to look up. It's ours for the tak

Episode Summary: Today, we’re tackling an issue that affects millions of people: loneliness. In a world that’s more connected than ever through technology, many of us still feel isolated and unseen. Studies show that loneliness has become a public health crisis, impacting our mental, emotional, and even physical well-being. According to a recent study, 1 in 3 adults reports feeling severely lonely. The CDC links social isolation and loneliness to depression, anxiety, Type 2 diabetes, heart disease, stroke, dementia, and more. Loneliness has the same impact on mortality as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. But there’s good news: loneliness isn’t the end of the story. God created us for connection, and by taking intentional steps, we can build meaningful relationships that bring hope, healing, and joy. Stay tuned as Becky Harling and I unpack practical tips and faith-based solutions to combat the epidemic of loneliness and rediscover the power of authentic connection.   Quotables from the episode: According to a recent study, 1 in 3 adults reports feeling severely lonely. The CDC links social isolation and loneliness to depression, anxiety, Type 2 diabetes, heart disease, stroke, dementia, and more. Loneliness has the same impact on mortality as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. Loneliness is feeling disconnected. You could be in a crowded room with lots of people. It doesn’t mean that you don’t have people around you, you just don’t feel connected to those people, and so you can feel isolated even in a crowd. Busyness is one of the chief problems that have contributed to our society’s deep loneliness. People are busier today than they’ve ever been. We’re always off to the next appointment, the next thing, the next activity, and as a result we don’t know our neighbors. We don’t have time for friends. We’re on this continual treadmill that has taken over our lives and it’s become detrimental to us and yet we seem to wear busyness as a badge of honor. We have lost the ability to have meaningful conversations with people. We’ve lost the curiosity element where like every single person is an amazing creature designed in the image of God. I want to be curious and know who they are. I want to know what’s important to them and why it’s important to them and those conversations really build the deeper connections. The first small step is to reach out to somebody that you know and say either let’s go to coffee, because I want to know you better. Better yet, invite them into your home or coffee. For the listeners who may feel a little afraid, my encouragement is to do it afraid. Just do it afraid, but learn to reach out to people. When you bring humility into a friendship, not only are you modeling the behavior that Jesus taught us. Paul reminds us, have this attitude in yourself, which was also in Christ Jesus. He was humble, even though he existed in the form of God, he didn’t clamor after that. Instead, he took on the form of a bond servant. When you come to a relationship with humility, it levels the playing field, and you allow the other friend to feel safe. We are never more like the enemy than when we’re criticizing somebody because the enemy is the accuser of the brethren and so to be like Jesus we’re not going to stand around and accuse people because he didn’t do that….so offer compassion. When you’re tempted to take offense, or when you already have, I like to ask myself a few questions. How is it helping me to take offense? Usually it doesn't help me, it hurts me, right? How, what do I need to take responsibility for here? You know, what's the meaning I'm making in my head? We all tell ourselves stories, right? And so when we're tempted to take offense, what happens is we sell ourselves a story. You know, like maybe this person is so rude to me or they don't honor my space or they don't value my opinions. And it's likely not any of those things, you know, first of all, people might not even really be thinking about you. And you know, we tend to think, what is she thinking? What are they thinking? Well, they're not thinking about you. They're thinking about their own problems. So, you know, offer people grace, don't get offended so easily. If you’re trying to keep up an image, some kind of persona that you’re projecting to the world, that’s a burden. And it’s going to weigh you down. Why not just be vulnerable? Be yourself. Choose who you’re going to be vulnerable with. If you have good friends, dare to be vulnerable if you want the friendship to go deeper.  That’s one of the benefits of cultivating these deeper connections is the opportunity to have such a degree of vulnerability that you can pray for them, that you can ask them for prayer. I think prayer is one of the most vulnerable things that we can do. We're vulnerable before our Lord, but then when we ask for prayer, we're vulnerable before the one that we've asked for prayer from, and when they ask us for prayer. That's about the most vulnerable that you can get with someone. But it does foster that connection. We have to take a risk. If you are feeling lonely today, I want to talk directly to you. Pretend that we're just sitting across the table having coffee. I want you to know that you are never really alone because Jesus is the one who said, "I will never leave you. I will never forsake you." If you're a widow, you are never alone. Jesus is with you. If you're isolated in a new community, you are never alone. Jesus is with you. And as you cultivate your friendship with Jesus and you grow more secure in His love, it's going to give you the confidence then to let that love flow out to others. The first thing for you is to cultivate that deep friendship with Jesus. Go to him in prayer, tell him everything, you know, go to the word of God, listen to worship music, take a walk and just talk with Jesus. But cultivate that friendship first and foremost.   Scripture References: Proverbs 27:17 "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." Hebrews 10:25 “And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.”   Recommended Resources: Cultivating Deeper Connections in a Lonely World by Becky Harling How to Listen So People Will Talk by Becky Harling How to Listen So Your Kids Will Talk by Becky Harling Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1 YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2 Revive & Thrive Women’s Online Conference Revive & Thrive Summit 2 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 1 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 2 Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian  Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.) YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader’s Choice Award Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue   Social Media Links for Host and Guest: Connect with Becky Harling: Website / Podcast / Instagram / Facebook / LinkedIn / X For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book  Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails  /  Website  /   Blog  /  Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson)  /  LinkedIn  /  Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple   Guest: Becky Harling has a degree in Biblical Literature and is a speaker and Bible teacher. The host of The Connected Mom podcast, Becky has a passion for helping women find hope, healing, freedom, and life transformation through Jesus Christ. She is the author of many books and Bible studies, including her recent release, Cultivating Deeper Connections in a Lonely World.   Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary: If you’ve ever put off a task, knowing it needs to get done, but found yourself scrolling social media, reorganizing your closet, or doing anything but the thing you should be doing, this episode is for you. But here’s the twist: we’re not just talking about procrastination from a behavioral standpoint. Today, we’re diving into the neuroscience behind procrastination: what’s happening in your brain when you delay and how understanding this can help you overcome it.   Quotables from the episode: Procrastination is the act of delaying or postponing tasks, especially those that are important or time-sensitive. Most of us associate it with laziness or poor time management, but it’s actually far more complex. When we procrastinate, we disrupt that God-ordained rhythm, often leading to stress, guilt, and missed opportunities. Procrastination isn’t just a matter of willpower; it’s a battle within your brain. Specifically, it’s a tug-of-war between two parts of your brain: the limbic system and the prefrontal cortex. When we procrastinate, the limbic system overrides the prefrontal cortex. It’s almost like a toddler throwing a tantrum and the parent giving in. But here’s the good news: the more we understand this process, the better equipped we are to address it. There are several reasons why we procrastinate: fear of failure, perfectionism, lack of clarity, immediate gratification, pride. Strategies to overcome procrastination: break tasks into smaller steps, set specific, time-limited goals, use rewards wisely, challenge negative thinking, invite God into your work, practice self-compassion. Friend, if you’ve been struggling with procrastination, I want you to know there’s hope. You’re not alone, and you’re not stuck. God designed your brain with incredible potential, and by understanding how it works, you can make choices that align with His purposes for your life. Procrastination isn’t just about avoiding tasks; it’s often about avoiding discomfort. But growth happens when we lean into that discomfort with faith, knowing God equips us for every good work.   Scripture References: Ecclesiastes 3:1 that ‘there is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.’ Proverbs 14:23 reminds us, ‘All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty.’ God calls us to diligent stewardship of our time and gifts, but understanding these barriers helps us address them with grace.” Colossians 3:23 encourages us to ‘work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men.’   Recommended Resources:  Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1 YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2 Revive & Thrive Women’s Online Conference Revive & Thrive Summit 2 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 1 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 2 Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian  Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.) YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader’s Choice Award Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue   Social Media Links for Host: For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book  Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails  /  Website  /   Blog  /  Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson)  /  LinkedIn  /  Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple   Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary: In this episode, Dr. Vickie Petz Kasper shares her powerful story of how a rare neuromuscular disorder abruptly ended her 20-year career as an OB/GYN, transforming her life in an instant. From delivering thousands of babies to becoming a patient herself, Vickie opens up about the pain of losing her identity as a doctor and battling bitterness. Yet, in the midst of her struggle, she discovered the faithfulness of God, who used her season of forced rest to bring healing, comfort, and purpose. Through scripture, gratitude, and a shift in focus, Vickie learned how to trust God, reclaim her identity in Christ, and ultimately use her experience to offer hope and comfort to others facing their own trials.   Quotables from the episode: What I have found is that if we will allow God to, he will take our deepest areas of pain and discomfort and ultimately use it for our good. I was an OB /GYN doctor, delivered 5,000 babies during my career. And that was such a treasure, such a privilege to be there at that special moment at the beginning of life, to be the first person to hold a newborn baby. So, I was in the operating room doing a C-section when all of a sudden, my hands refused to obey my brain. And I kept staring at them, expecting them to move, and they were just still. Now, I say suddenly, in reality, about six weeks before, I had been diagnosed with a disease called myasthenia gravis, but it initially only affected my eyes. So, we knew what was happening, and I was having some subtle symptoms, but I was preparing for a 57-mile bicycle ride across the state of Missouri the next day. I was kind of ignoring some symptoms. So, when I say suddenly, I don't really mean suddenly, but it felt suddenly. I went from being a surgeon in the operating room to being a patient in the emergency room in an instant. It was a very painful season from the outset because not only did, in an instant, I lose my career, my ability to ride my bicycle, and all the other active things that I loved about my life, but I also felt betrayed by my own profession. I think the beginning of a wound that was the most difficult to heal from, that I had to fight was a root of bitterness. When the Bible talks about a root of bitterness, you just think about weeds in your yard or your flower garden or whatever. If you don't pull up that whole entire root, there are little tentacles that go deep down inside. And I just felt like I was feeding the root of bitterness. I was rehearsing all the things I wanted to say or wish I would have said. I was rehearsing you know, "Oh, wasn't this horrible what happened to me?" I was angry, and I was nurturing that root of bitterness. And I knew that if I didn't deal with it, it would absolutely destroy me. I had to shift my mindset. I had to shift my focus. I had to put my eyes on the Lord. I already had done a lot of Bible study and had a good foundation of the Word of God. It was so cool how God would bring a scripture through a card that I got in the mail or through a phone call that I got or what I had read that morning. And then he would just affirm and reaffirm that all day long. That assured me of his presence, but it was being in his word in advance and shifting my mindset to a focus of what I had rather than what had happened to me. I would get up in the mornings and I would just go outside with the stars still out and I would literally count my blessings, just focusing on some gratitude. I was always a person that liked to write in journal. So, I started writing out my struggle through a blog and then eventually a little small book about forgiveness. I always say it's not a book to read, it's a book to do. I have to reread it myself because I went through additional things after that. After that, my 30 -year marriage ended, and so I had to sort of practice what I preached. When I lost my career as an OB/Gyn, that became an identity issue because when you’re a physician, you’re Dr. So-and-so, and it becomes so much a part of your identity. I caution not to let our identity be in anything that can be lost. If our identity is not in Christ which is permanent anchor for our soul and our only hope that never shifts the foundation that is firm, then anything that can be lost, we can lose ourselves whether it’s being a mom or being a wife or any of those things. I had to make sure that my identity was secure in Christ. Our occupation is what “we do,” it’s not “who I am.” God gave me comfort to know that God would use my situation to comfort others. We're all going to go through some kind of wounding. We don't get to choose what that experience is, but God says, “in this world you will have trouble.” But if we will allow God to come in and heal it, he can redeem it, he can heal, he can restore. It's been about a decade now since all of that happened. So in so many ways, I think through blogging and connecting with other believers, that was part of my own healing. It was, you know, I'm writing for other people, but I'm writing for me. Then I also connected with a lot of other people who have Myasthenia Gravis. I have spoken at national meetings for Myasthenia Gravis and talked to other people because it's a hopeless, frustrating disease that steals everything you love about your life. That was an area of redemption to be able to go and share with others the hope that I've received, the comfort that I've received, like 2 Corinthians 11:11 says, continuing on in the word. God took my background as an OB -GYN doctor for 20 years. I spent about seven years in the hospital administration learning about leadership. Then I got remarried and I got board certified in lifestyle medicine. Lifestyle Medicine had personally helped me and now I have a telehealth practice and my own podcast where I talk about Lifestyle Medicine and I just see these threads that God has pulled in and woven together to say, “because of these experiences you are qualified to do something new” and I love it. God spoke to me through His word and that's His language. That's how He speaks. If you want to speak to someone who only speaks French, you have to learn French. If you want to hear from the Lord, you need to know his language and his language is his word. I think having those index cards, having some scripture memorized, having some scripture hidden in my heart as the Bible says, that showed me that your God is faithful, and you can trust him no matter what? There's no need to be bitter and vengeful and to nurse a wound and nurse unforgiveness because that will destroy you. God tells us to cast our cares on him. You have to give your burdens to the Lord. So practically walking out, not just what was in my Bible, but what was written on those index cards. And I think it’s even a step beyond that. I think that it is one thing to write it, but then we have to go beyond that. We have to rehearse it. We've got to be speaking his word out. We've got to take it from head knowledge to heart knowledge. I would really encourage your listeners, if you're not going through a hard time right now, now's the time to prepare for the battle. Because like you said, it will come. Life comes in seasons. I'm in a good season right now. I was in a good season 10 years ago before all this started, but I had that foundation of the word. I think it all comes down to trust, really. You can know the word, rehearse the word, and what that helps you do is understand the absolute faithfulness and character of God. And that's what you build your life on in the good times and the bad. And when we look at the character of God, what is so comforting to me is that he is the same yesterday, today, that he will be tomorrow. He is unchanging. We're going to make mistakes, but God is never changing. So, the same God that was faithful to divide the Red Sea is going to be the same God that's going to find a path through our wilderness season, through our full trials to get us to the other side. But to your point, are we going to trust him through it? Or are we going to be angry and vengeful and bitter? It's a choice. God tells us to rest in him. And I think, you know, he set that model for us in creation in that seventh day he rested, and I don't think that was because he was tired, or he needed rest. I think it was because he was satisfied, and I think he wants us to come to him and say you're enough Lord and he wants us to rest in him. He says, “come to me all you who are weary and heavy burdened and I'll give you rest.” For me that looks like trust like rest from your striving to fix everything and to control the script so that it goes the way you want it to go. Rest in the Lord that his plans and purposes for your life are good. God is faithful and he can always be trusted.    Scripture References: Psalm 55:22 NIV “Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.” John 16:33 NIV “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” 2 Corinthians 1:4 NIV “…who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”   Recommended Resources: Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Chris

Episode Summary:  If you’ve ever struggled with forgiveness—whether that’s forgiving others, forgiving yourself, or even struggling with feeling forgiven by God—then this episode is for you. Jessica and I talk about The Role of Forgiveness in Healing the Brain and Heart.  Quotables from the episode: Science and scripture both affirm that forgiveness is vital for emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being. Forgiveness is more than a feeling—it’s a powerful decision that can transform your life. This topic is close to my heart because I’ve seen firsthand how forgiveness can set people free. I know many of our listeners and viewers carry deep wounds, and my prayer is that today’s conversation will bring encouragement and hope. Forgiveness is essential because it aligns us with God’s heart. We were created for relationships, but when hurt enters the picture, it creates emotional and spiritual wounds. Unforgiveness keeps us bound to that pain. It’s like drinking poison and expecting the other person to suffer. From a scientific perspective, studies show that holding onto unforgiveness increases stress hormones like cortisol, which negatively impacts brain function, weakens the immune system, and can even contribute to depression and anxiety. When we forgive, we release that toxic load, allowing our brains and bodies to function in a state of peace. As a neuropsychologist, I’ve also seen how unforgiveness affects brain chemistry. It triggers the fight-or-flight response, keeping us in a constant state of stress which can lead to depression, anxiety, discouragement, fear, even anger. But when we choose to forgive, our brain rewires itself toward healing and restoration. For years, I thought holding onto that anger would somehow hold the other person accountable. But instead, it only held me captive. When I finally chose to forgive, I experienced a peace I hadn’t known in years. And the beautiful thing was, God used that forgiveness to bring healing to my heart in ways I never expected. One of the biggest myths is that forgiveness means excusing or condoning what happened. Forgiveness is not saying that what happened was okay. It doesn’t mean forgetting or pretending it never happened. Instead, it’s releasing the burden of justice to God. Romans 12:19 reminds us, “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.” Another myth is that we have to feel ready to forgive before we do it. But forgiveness is an act of obedience, not an emotion. Often, the feelings follow the decision. Jesus didn’t tell us to forgive when we felt like it. He commanded us to forgive because He knows the weight it lifts off our souls. And something amazing happens when we take that step of obedience—our hearts begin to soften, and healing begins. The process of forgiveness starts with prayer. We have to be honest with God about our pain and ask Him for the strength to forgive. Then, we choose to release the offense. Sometimes, it’s a one-time decision; other times, it’s a daily process of surrendering it to God until the pain no longer has power over us. And sometimes, we need to verbalize forgiveness, even if it’s just between us and God. Saying, “Lord, I choose to forgive [person’s name] for [specific hurt]” helps solidify the decision in our hearts. And one of the hardest but most powerful steps is praying for the person who hurt us. Jesus told us in Matthew 5:44, “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” It’s hard at first, but it shifts our hearts from bitterness to compassion. Forgiveness is not about the other person—it’s about your own freedom. It doesn’t mean what they did was right, but it means you’re choosing to release the burden and trust God with justice. Take it one step at a time, and know that you are never alone in the process. Scripture References: Romans 12:19 reminds us, “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.”   Recommended Resources: Reframing Rejection: How Looking Through a Different Lens Changes Everything By Jessica Van Roekel Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1 YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2 Revive & Thrive Women’s Online Conference Revive & Thrive Summit 2 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 1 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 2 Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian  Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.) YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader’s Choice Award Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue   Social Media Links for Host and Guest: Connect with Jessica Van Roekel: Website / Instagram / Facebook For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book  Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails  /  Website  /   Blog  /  Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson)  /  LinkedIn  /  Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple   Co-Host: Jessica Van Roekel is a worship leader, speaker, and writer who believes that through Jesus, personal histories don’t need to define the present or determine the future. She inspires, encourages, and equips others to look at life through the lenses of hope, trust, and God’s transforming grace. Jessica lives in rural Iowa surrounded by wide open spaces which remind her of God’s expansive love. She loves fun earrings, good coffee, and connecting with others.   Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary: On this episode, I talk with Janet McHenry, who shared her painful wound of walking with her husband through a very unjust situation that happened to him which caused her much shame. Yet, she also shares how God revealed himself to her, and answered her prayers in a way that she didn’t expect, producing a beautiful sacred scar.   Quotables from the episode: My wound goes back to fall 2001, when we had a two-day blizzard in the Sierra valley when six calves and a bull bedded down in an old creek bed in the corner of my husband’s ranch, and were covered by snow. My husband was unaware this happened. A neighbor reported it not to my husband but to the local animal control authorities, and my husband was given seven animal cruelty charges, despite all the evidence in our favor. We unfortunately had an unjust judge who would not let records be placed into evidence, nor let experts testify on our behalf. The judge also harassed two of the defense witnesses. So much of the evidence that we had lined up for the trial was not allowed to be admitted. So he ended up being convicted on six animal cruelty charges with the possibility of getting three years in state prison. We felt a great deal of shame. How do you live in a community of your peers, with only 3000 in our entire county without a single stoplight. It’s an agricultural area where people raise hay and beef cattle. We experienced shame over this. We experienced fear because the judge could decide my husband would get those three years in prison, and how would we then live? The judge also could have pulled all the animals away from the ranch, removing my husband’s livelihood. My husband was pursuing his Ph.D. and was beginning to work on his doctoral dissertation, but my husband wouldn’t be able to teach with a felony conviction. So we experienced shame, fear, and a wounding because I had prayer walked around my community, I taught in a school district with only about 32 teachers so we all knew each other intimately, so I wasn’t able to avoid people through this process. I found it very difficult to finish out my school year as a teacher so I took a leave of absence and went on antidepressants because I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, my heart wouldn’t stop racing; I had never before experienced those physical reactions to stress. We worked really hard to get public support, and two months later was the sentencing. We filled the courtroom with friends and family and six pastors. The entire courtroom was a community of supporters for us. At the sentencing, the judge gave my husband four years of probation and a huge fine, so my husband had to sell off a large percentage of his herd to pay for that. We determined right away to file an appeal with the state appellate court. In the appeal, we documented over 240 instances where the judge had prejudiced the jurors. We waited another two years to get that decision. One by one we heard the appellate judges say that they were going to overturn the original decision. We determined to keep living here and keep serving our community the best that we could. One thing I learned on the day of the sentencing was that God was doing another great work in our lives that was unrelated. Standing in the parking lot after the decision was overturned a friend spoke up about what she saw in my husband and that God was really doing a new work in him and that he had a new countenance. It was then that I realized God was answering my prayers for my marriage which for 20-something years, I had been asking God to do a deeper work in our marriage, to save our marriage, to keep us together. God was working to answer a different prayer request than the ones that seemed more immediate. I don’t think I’d want to go through that situation again, but I did learn a lot about God’s loving presence through that. I re-read the book of Job every year when I read through the Bible, and I realized what I needed was a friend to quietly sit beside me. What Job needed was one good friend to sit with him through his suffering. Even though Job didn’t hear from God, God was that friend in Job’s wait. Even when it seems like God is silent, He is with us, He’s cheering us on. He cares about us. He loves us. Even if the situation doesn’t resolve in the way that we think is best, God will be even closer to us as a result of what we’ve been through. That presence of God, that closeness to him, is the best thing we can get out of this life on earth.   Scripture References: Matthew 19:26 NIV “Jesus looked at them and said, ‘With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.’”   Recommended Resources: Praying Personalities: Finding Your Natural Prayer Style by Janet McHenry   Praying Personality Quiz Prayer Helps: Scripture-Based Prayers When You Don’t Know How to Pray . . . when listeners sign up for my monthly mini-magazine, Looking Up! at JanetMcHenry.com PrayerWalk by Janet McHenry The Complete Guide to the Prayers of Jesus by Janet McHenry Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1 YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2 Revive & Thrive Women’s Online Conference Revive & Thrive Summit 2 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 1 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 2 Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian  Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.) YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader’s Choice Award Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue   Social Media Links for Host and Guest: Connect with Janet McHenry: Website / Looking Up Mini-Magazine / Facebook / X / Pinterest / LinkedIn / Instagram For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book  Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails  /  Website  /   Blog  /  Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson)  /  LinkedIn  /  Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple   Guest: Janet McHenry and her husband, a cattle rancher, wear sacred scars from his wrongful felony conviction that was overturned in appellate court two years later. A national speaker, Janet is the author of 27 books—eight on prayer, including the bestselling PrayerWalk and her newest, Praying Personalities. The parents of four adult children, Janet and Craig live in the Sierra Valley in northern California, where she serves as prayer coordinator for her church and on the state leadership tam for the National Day of Prayer.   Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary: The inner critic can be a constant and discouraging presence, stealing our joy and hindering us from walking in the confidence God intends for us. It often disguises itself as self-improvement or humility, but in reality, it holds us back from embracing our identity in Christ. In today’s episode, we’ll uncover the sources of this voice, explore how Scripture equips us to combat it, and learn practical, biblically-based strategies to replace self-condemnation with God’s truth.   Quotables from the episode: The inner critic is that internal voice that condemns, shames, or reminds us of our shortcomings. It whispers lies like, “You’re not good enough,” “You’ll never succeed,” or “Who do you think you are?” Often, this voice feels louder in moments of vulnerability, failure, or self-doubt. Scripture reminds us that Satan is the accuser of the brethren (Revelation 12:10). His goal is to steal, kill, and destroy our confidence and joy (John 10:10). He plants seeds of doubt and discouragement, hoping we’ll lose sight of God’s truth about our identity. The enemy’s accusations often feel like they’re coming from within, making it harder to recognize their origin. Our sinful nature and brokenness often give rise to self-condemnation. Past experiences, such as critical words from others, failures, or unmet expectations, can leave scars that fuel the inner critic. We may strive for perfection, believing the lie that we’re only worthy if we meet certain standards. This striving often leads to exhaustion and deeper feelings of inadequacy. The world bombards us with messages that we must perform, achieve, or conform to be loved or valuable. Social media, advertisements, and cultural expectations paint a picture of perfection that is impossible to attain. When we fall short, the inner critic seizes the opportunity to amplify our insecurities and remind us of our perceived failures. For some, the inner critic’s voice mimics the critical or harsh words spoken by authority figures in their lives, such as parents, teachers, or peers. Over time, these external voices become internalized, shaping how we see ourselves and respond to challenges. Even well-meaning criticism can leave an imprint if it’s not tempered with grace and encouragement. The inner critic is not God’s voice. In fact, His voice always aligns with truth, hope, and encouragement. It’s important to identify and challenge thoughts that contradict God’s truth. Taking every thought captive means actively rejecting lies and replacing them with God’s promises. God’s voice always aligns with His character—He speaks love, encouragement, and restoration. While the inner critic seeks to tear us down, God’s Word builds us up and reminds us of our identity in Christ. By meditating on Scripture, we can discern the difference between the voice of the inner critic and the voice of our loving Father. His truth gives us the strength to silence the lies and walk confidently in His grace. God’s voice brings peace, conviction (not condemnation), and hope. He calls us to see ourselves as He does—fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). Become aware of when the inner critic is speaking. Pause and ask, “Is this thought true, or is it a lie?” If it doesn’t align with Scripture, it’s not from God. Journaling your thoughts can help you identify patterns of self-criticism and pinpoint recurring lies that need to be addressed. Counter every negative thought with God’s Word. For example, if the thought says, “I’m a failure,” remind yourself of Philippians 4:13: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Create a list of Bible verses that speak to your identity in Christ, and keep them handy for moments of doubt. A grateful heart leaves little room for self-criticism. Start each day by thanking God for His blessings and affirming the ways He’s working in your life. When you focus on God’s goodness, it shifts your perspective and quiets the critical voice. Surround yourself with people who speak life and encouragement. Proverbs 27:17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” Healthy, godly relationships provide support, accountability, and reminders of your worth in Christ. Be intentional about building connections with those who uplift you. Ask God to help you distinguish His voice from the lies of the enemy. James 1:5 assures us that He gives wisdom generously to those who ask. Pray for clarity and ask the Holy Spirit to guide your thoughts and words. Instead of agreeing with the critic, declare the truth of who you are in Christ. Say things like, “I am chosen,” “I am loved,” and “I am forgiven.” Speaking these affirmations aloud helps to reinforce them in your mind and heart. Whether it’s critical people, social media, or unhelpful comparisons, protect your mind by setting healthy boundaries. Consider a social media detox or limiting time spent with individuals who are overly critical or draining. Silencing your inner critic is not a one-time fix; it’s a daily practice of renewing your mind and grounding yourself in God’s truth. Remember, the voice of the inner critic is a liar. God’s voice is the only one that matters, and His voice speaks love, grace, and purpose over you.   Scripture References: Romans 8:1, which declares, “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Ephesians 2:10 reminds us, “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” James 3:9-10 “With the tongue, we praise our Lord and Father, and with it, we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness... My brothers and sisters, this should not be.” Isaiah 41:10 “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” 2 Corinthians 10:5 “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” Psalm 139:14 “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”    Recommended Resources:  Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1 YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2 Revive & Thrive Women’s Online Conference Revive & Thrive Summit 2 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 1 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 2 Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian  Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.) YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader’s Choice Award Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue   Social Media Links for Host: For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book  Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails  /  Website  /   Blog  /  Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson)  /  LinkedIn  /  Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple   Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary: In this week’s episode, I’m talking with Dawn Ward, who shares her painful story of being a mother to two sons who have struggled with addiction. Dawn shares how God has used those wounds, healed them, and given her purpose in her pain to encourage us that God never wastes our pain.   Quotables from the episode:   I was a Christian and I thought that if I took my children church and taught them the Bible and did all the things according to God's word then those evil elements of the world would somehow not get to our family, but that didn't prove to be true. When I tried to outrun old wounds from my childhood, these old pains and things that had hurt me so much came back to haunt me when my son became involved with the wrong friends and the wrong movies and troublesome behaviors. Both of my sons struggled with addiction and I faced intense guilt and self-blame and shame because at that point I thought it was my fault. I remember crying out to God, “I thought that I was doing better in my relationship with you. I thought I had more faith. I thought I trusted you. And now I'm just in a big pool of my own tears.” And that is so often what happens when we hear messages in childhood that are not always based in truth. Earlier in my life, in my career, my faith, or things that God was tugging at my heart to do, I was reluctant to step out and be bold and do those things because I didn't feel adequate. I didn't feel like I would be able to do it. And I look back on opportunities that God put in front of me, and I told myself I couldn't do them. There came a breaking point where I realized I have to figure this out, because if I don’t figure out how God sees me and the things that he’s given me responsibility for and that he trusts me to be a wife and to be a mother, but yet I’m not trusting myself to do it with his help. I needed to trust God to begin to reveal lies and the thought patterns that were holding me back and affecting all my relationships. One day my husband confronted me and said, “You are going to worry yourself to death.” And I told him he had permission to write that on my tombstone, “She worried herself to death.” But I heard the Lord say to me, “No, it’s going to say she trusted God.” That was an aha moment for me when I realized that every choice that I made moving forward, I needed to ask, “Do I trust you, Lord? Even though this doesn’t make sense. Even though I can’t understand why it’s going this way.” So, I wrote a book hoping maybe other moms wouldn’t have to go through as much pain and all of the hard lessons I had to go through. It’s really about getting our relationship back with the Lord and having our faith in him that can withstand these storms and helping us to trust him in the process of those difficult and painful things that we have no control over. That’s the same thing with us with these wounds. If we don’t allow God to heal them the way that he wants to heal them. Most of us wouldn’t sign up for half the stuff that we end up having to go through in our life. But the beautiful thing is that when we turn it over to God and we trust God through it, he can bring something beautiful out of those painful wounds. Another benefit that comes from that is our relationship with our children and our loved ones, whether they’re in a good place or not, it becomes healthier just because we become healthier and stronger and we’re healing. I look back and sometimes truthfully wish I didn’t have to bear this trial, or that my children didn’t have to bear their trial. But I can see that God has cultivated trust and faith and hope through his grace into my life. And I’m so grateful for that because I don’t think I could have really healed from some of the things I went through as a child without him working through the process of this healing with me as an adult. God is not finished writing your story, or your child’s story. He loves you very much. If we can imagine how much we love our child and to imagine that God loves them that much more, and he loves us too. When we look at our God and what he is capable of and realize that his eye is on that one little lost sheep that’s wandering, that gives us hope.   Recommended Resources: Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1 YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2 Revive & Thrive Women’s Online Conference Revive & Thrive Summit 2 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 1 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 2 Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian  Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.) YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader’s Choice Award Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue   Social Media Links for Host and Guest: Connect with Dawn Ward: Website / Facebook / Instagram For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book  Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails  /  Website  /   Blog  /  Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson)  /  LinkedIn  /  Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple   Guest: Dawn Ward is a speaker, writer, and biblical life coach. She is the founder of The Faith to Flourish, a ministry equipping women to live transformed lives through inspiring teaching, mentoring, and biblical resources. Dawn also offers support and encouragement to women with addicted loved ones. She is married to Steve and mom to three adult children. Her book, From Guilt to Grace: Hope and Healing for Christian Moms of Addicted Children is scheduled for release in September 2024.   Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary:  If you’ve ever struggled with relating to God as Father—maybe you’ve been hurt by an earthly father or a church leader and carry a misunderstanding of God’s heart for you-- then this episode is for you. Rev. Jessica Van Roekel and I talk about Relating to God as Father and Understanding God’s Love When Earthly Fathers Fail. Relating to God as Father is vital for a proper understanding and close relationship with the Lord. We can lose sight of who God is when we forget that he is not like us. We are made in his image, not the other way around. Fatherhood is an important aspect of God’s character and when we can relate to God as father it can transform our life.   Quotables from the episode: Knowing God as my Father has brought so much comfort to my life. I know many of our listeners and viewers carry deep wounds, and my prayer is that today’s conversation will bring encouragement and hope. Relating to God as Father is essential to experience his comfort and blessings of being his sons and daughters. He gives us mercy, love, forgiveness, compassion, faithfulness, and goodness. When we reject God’s fatherhood, we struggle to experience the comfort he offers to us. Earthly fathers are an imperfect and flawed example, but God is a perfect Father. He always has the best intentions for his children, and he always has the ability to carry them out. Jesus taught that “Father” was the way to address God. “Father” was Jesus’ favorite term for addressing God. In the synoptic Gospels, we count Jesus referencing God as Father approximately sixty-five times and in the book of John, we see it over one hundred times. Because of Jesus’ use of this metaphor, the rest of the New Testament emphasizes the Fatherhood of God. In Paul’s letters, God is described as “Father” over forty times. For Paul, God’s fatherhood is based on the redemption and reconciliation he has made available to everyone through faith in Jesus Christ. There are a lot of misconceptions about the Fatherhood of God that can keep people from relating to him as Father. Let’s take a moment to address some of them. One of the biggest challenges is being hurt by people—fathers or father figures. One of the reasons is we are such sensory beings. We feel so deeply the wounds of betrayal and if we compare God to mankind, there’s no way we could trust him with our heart. But humanity is made in the image of God, not God in humanity’s image. We are a reflection of parts of God. But then sin entered the world and shattered the reflection. It’s like we all have a shattered mirror in our chest, and we can’t see other people clearly or ourselves clearly. This skewed vision impacts how we see God. But his “mirror’ is intact. He is the perfect reflection of a perfect Father because he is our Father. Ephesians 1:5 comforts us, “God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.”  Another challenge to relating to God as Father is when we misunderstand his discipline. But discipline is an important part of growing and living for him. It not only rebukes and corrects, but it also trains us and guides us. Discipline assures us we are God’s children; Discipline is evidence he loves us and has concern for us to not be condemned by the world, but so we can share in his holiness. It sounds like there are three responses to relating to God as Father through discipline. One response is to shrug it off where we refuse to take it seriously or despise it. The other is to be over-sensitive and withdraw emotionally. These two will cause us to reject God as father. But the one who receives God’s discipline as an act of love will draw closer to God’s Father heart for us. I think it starts with trusting God. God delights in protecting the weak, disadvantaged, oppressed, hurting, and lonely—especially when we trust him. If you feel alone in the world, you can ask God, as your Father in heaven, to put you under his special care. And sometimes, we need to consider how deep our honor and respect for his power, judgment, and intolerance of evil. When we cultivate a deep honor and respect for him, God liberates and motivates us to avoid evil, obey God’s word, and to live with a continual awareness of God’s mercy and nearness. To those who revere him, he gives mercy, love, forgiveness, fatherly compassion, faithfulness, and goodness. The final step we want to share today is to ask the Holy Spirit to create the feeling of filial love that causes us to know God as Father. I love Galatians 4:6, “And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, ‘Abba! Father!’” Because we are now God’s children, we have a new “guardian.” We can be free from religious rules or the devastating impact of human failures. Abba is Aramaic for Father and expresses the depth of intimacy, warmth, and confidence by which the Holy Spirit helps us relate to and cry out to God as Father. When we refer to and relate to God as Father, we demonstrate the transforming work of the Holy Spirit in our life. Relating to God as Father has nothing to do with how poorly you’ve been treated but has everything to do with placing your entire trust in God’s love for you. You have the freedom and the right to approach our heavenly Father with the confidence that you will be accepted, welcomed, and loved.   Scripture References: Ephesians 1:5 comforts us, “God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.” Hebrews 12:6-10 states, “For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives. It is for discipline that you must endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us, and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.” Psalm 68:5-6 reminds us, “Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation. God settles the solitary in a home; he leads out the prisoners to prosperity, but the rebellious dwell in a parched land.”  Psalm 103:13 teaches us, “as a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.” Galatians 4:6, “And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, ‘Abba! Father!’”   Recommended Resources: Reframing Rejection: How Looking Through a Different Lens Changes Everything By Jessica Van Roekel Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1 YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2 Revive & Thrive Women’s Online Conference Revive & Thrive Summit 2 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 1 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 2 Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian  Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.) YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader’s Choice Award Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue   Social Media Links for Host and Guest: Connect with Jessica Van Roekel: Website / Instagram / Facebook For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book  Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails  /  Website  /   Blog  /  Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson)  /  LinkedIn  /  Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple   Co-Host: Jessica Van Roekel is a worship leader, speaker, and writer who believes that through Jesus, personal histories don’t need to define the present or determine the future. She inspires, encourages, and equips others to look at life through the lenses of hope, trust, and God’s transforming grace.

Episode Summary: In this episode, guest Tammy Kennington shares the deep wounds she experienced as a survivor of childhood sexual trauma—and the heartbreak of watching someone she loves endure the same pain. Through her journey, she shares how God met her in the midst of that suffering, redeemed even her most painful experiences, and gave her sacred scars as beauty for her ashes.   Quotables from the episode: My story of wounding is two sides of the same coin, first as a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and then seeing someone I dearly love experiencing the same sort of thing. I’ve really had to kneel at God’s feet, seek Him, and heal physically, emotionally, relationally, and spiritually. My wounds trapped me in grief, fear, and confusion; not so much my own trauma, but the vicarious trauma of the individual that I love so much. Fear held me captive. I thought I would not ever experience freedom again or ever experience any of the Lord’s peace because it just seemed so out of reach. Anywhere I turned, it felt like tentacles twisted around my marriage, my family, my personal life and it attempted to destroy all beauty. The painful wounds I experienced emotionally and relationally were also replicated physically. After I found out about the horrendous suffering my loved one had endured, I found out that I was suffering from fibromyalgia and scleroderma. It took years for those to be diagnosed but God has done an amazing work in my life through all of it. When we go through a painful event, even emotionally, relationally, or spiritually, our body will react to that pain and stress, and create physical health conditions that also often contribute to physical pain. I’m trying to give people permission to acknowledge the pain, but then to step forward to deal with it in a safe healing environment. Because when we don’t, our body will hold onto it, and we will experience physical symptoms at some point. Without healing, wounds rot, they fester, and they go deeper. I’m a testimony to God’s power. I no longer live with fear, with flashbacks, suicidality, or disassociation. And because the Lord healed me, of those burdens, I knew he could heal me of the autoimmune disorder I was dealing with, if he wanted to. It was a long seven-year process. But now I’m coming up on the one year anniversary of not having any fibromyalgia flareups, and I’m going back to full time work in the fall. God has restored me emotionally, spiritually, and physically as a testimony of his goodness. We know that there are times when God doesn’t heal this side of heaven. But those who know Christ will be healed ultimately in Heaven. Even if we are walking through a painful journey now and he doesn’t heal us here, we can count on him because we know he will give us the strength that we need. Scripture tells us that he will provide for all of our needs, and that his grace is abundant. He is a God of mercy, and he is able. If you are in that situation now where you are praying for physical, emotional, relational, or spiritual healing keep praying. Keep pursuing God. Keep praying. God has not always healed areas that I have most wanted healed, he still may but he has not yet, but there are other areas that he knew, in his infinite wisdom, were more important for him to address with me. So I continue to press in for healing, but I trust God’s timing and his perfect plan. God does redeem our pain. Our most painful experiences when we place them at his feet and surrender them to him can be used for good whether or not the enemy intended them for evil. What flipped the switch for me was when I realized that if I denied my faith, if I allowed my anger and bitterness to boil under the surface, then I would have given Satan the ultimate victory because he would have stolen the most beautiful thing in my life: my relationship with my Lord and Savior. I refused to give him that pleasure. Trauma occurred out of my control, but my response did not. You decided that your faith in God was stronger and more important than the enemy having victory over your life. God can work in and through the most hurtful experiences in our lives, and he can bring us to a place of restoration.   Scripture References: Genesis 50:20 NIV “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” Philippians 4:19 NIV “And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.” Psalm 147:3 NIV “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”   Recommended Resources: Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1 YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2 Revive & Thrive Women’s Online Conference Revive & Thrive Summit 2 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 1 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 2 Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian  Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.) YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader’s Choice Award Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue   Social Media Links for Host and Guest: Connect with Tammy Kennington: Connect with Tammy at https://tammykennington.substack.com/ or learn more about her at https://tammykennington.com/.  For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book  Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails  /  Website  /   Blog  /  Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson)  /  LinkedIn  /  Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple   Guest: Tammy Kennington is an author, educator, speaker, and life coach familiar with the impact of trauma, mental health issues, and parenting in the hard places. She strives to lead women from hardship to hope and share Christ’s love with the young and young at heart.    Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Episode Summary: Today, we're exploring a topic that feels counterintuitive but profoundly transformative: "How to Rekindle Your First Love.” Together with Pastor Jessica Van Roekel, we’ll examine why this is important, how it helps us live our lives in Christ, the warning signs of losing it and how to get back to it. We’ll offer biblical wisdom, personal stories, and practical insights to help you embrace joy as a choice, a fruit of the Spirit, and a testament to God’s faithfulness.   Quotables from the episode: Search for identity and purpose can only be found in our personal relationship with God. We cannot chase Dr. Michelle’s experience with God, my experience with God, or your pastor’s experience with God. We gather corporately for worship services, but the rest of the week, we “gather” with God as an individual. We must seek our own revelation of his love for us, who we are IN him and TO him. Life confuses, distracts, or points us to look at the world or church leaders for insight into ourselves. Ultimately, Christ reveals himself and will return to set things right. No more broken hearts or tears. All hope will be fulfilled. All promises will be kept. The book of Revelation uses imagery to describe the end of time, but the letters to the churches at the beginning of the book are easy to understand. Christ’s purpose for the letters are to challenge, encourage, warn, and build up believers and churches throughout history. The letter’s values for us today includes: a revelation of what Christ loves and values along with what he hates and condemns. They also give us a clear statement about consequences for disobedience and spiritual neglect along with rewards for spiritual alertness, diligence, and faithfulness to Christ. They also provide the standard for any individual or church to judge their true spiritual condition and provide an example of Satan’s methods for attacking and working against the church or individual Christian. The Christians in Ephesus were complimented for: toil, patient endurance, separateness from evil, pursuers of truth, bearing up for the Lord’s sake, not grown weary. They were criticized for losing their first love. The first love is defined as: commitment to the original love, truth, purity, and power of Jesus and his original revelation. Our first love protects and helps us live the way Jesus calls us to. Our first love protects us because it helps us avoid sin, prevents us from running after false teaching, and helps us not forsake Jesus. But the consequences of losing our first love means we forget about loving the hurting, loving our fellow siblings in Christ, and about our own lost, wretched nature before we gave our life to Christ and his Lordship. We can lose our first love through spiritual distraction, loneliness, weariness, focusing more on the battle rather than our Victor, listening to other voices, and allowing religious actions to replace relationship. But God gives us warning signs. Let’s go through the warning signs: delight in something/something else more than God; lacking of longing for prayer and Bible reading; don’t think about God throughout the day; claim to “be human” to excuse behaviors/attitudes; and lack of cheerful giving or service. There’s more: treating other Christians with more judgment than kindness, view Christ’s commands as restrictions to happiness, striving for mankind’s acclaim, allowing fears to control decisions to share the Good News of Christ, refuse to give up an activity that displeases God, complacent to sinful attitudes around you, and unwillingness to forgive. To rekindle our first love, we choose to remember God’s love, his faithfulness and our initial love for him. We can remember what he saved us from and how we were before we welcomed him into our lives. The second way to rekindle our first love is to REPENT. Jesus, our High Priest, stands ready to forgive us if we would turn and come to him. We need to admit we’ve lost it, stop ignoring the warning signs and bring our “spiritual” care into the “mechanic” for service. He stands waiting for us and we don’t need to be ashamed or put undue pressure on ourselves. The third step is to RETURN. Return to where you lost it. Don’t try to be a mile ahead of where you use to be. Go back and begin again with renewed love for God. Don’t beat yourself up for letting your love for God grow cool. Remember you’re not alone, remember God is for you and loves you. Repent and return.   Scripture References: Revelation 2:1-5 To the angel of the church in Ephesus write: These are the words of him who holds the seven stars in his right hand and walks among the seven golden lampstands. I know your deeds, your hard work and your perseverance. I know that you cannot tolerate wicked people, that you have tested those who claim to be apostles but are not and have found them false. You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name and have not grown weary. Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first. Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place. Jeremiah 29:13 “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” 1 John 4:19 “we love him because he first loved us.” Luke 7:36-50 Hebrews 4:12-16 “For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account. Jesus the Great High Priest Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven,  Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” 1 Timothy 1:6 “For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God.” Jude 20-21 “But you, beloved, building yourselves up in your most holy faith and praying in the Holy Spirit, keep yourselves in the love of God, waiting for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ that leads to eternal life,”   Recommended Resources: Reframing Rejection: How Looking Through a Different Lens Changes Everything By Jessica Van Roekel Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner AWSA 2024 Golden Scroll Christian Living Book of the Year and the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Christian Living and Non-Fiction categories YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises from God to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, AWSA Member of the Year, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the 2024 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in the Devotional category, the 2023 Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 1 YouVersion Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day version 2 Revive & Thrive Women’s Online Conference Revive & Thrive Summit 2 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 1 Trusting God through Cancer Summit 2 Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2020 Best Christian Living Book First Place, the first place winner for the Best Christian Living Book, the 2020 Carolina Christian  Writer’s Conference Contest winner for nonfiction, and winner of the 2021 Christian Literary Award’s Reader’s Choice Award in all four categories for which it was nominated (Non-Fiction Victorious Living, Christian Living Day By Day, Inspirational Breaking Free and Testimonial Justified by Grace categories.) YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide Free PDF Resource: How to Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Henri and Reader’s Choice Award Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award Free Webinar: Help for When You’re Feeling Blue   Social Media Links for Host and Guest: Connect with Jessica Van Roekel: Website / Instagram / Facebook For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at: Order Book Sacred Scars / Order Book The Hem of His Garment / Order Book Today is Going to be a Good Day / Order Book  Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails  /  Website  /   Blog  /  Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson)  /  LinkedIn  /  Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube / Podcast on Apple   Co-Host: Jessica Van Roekel is a worship leader, speaker, and writer who believes that through Jesus, personal histories don’t need to define the present or determine the future. She inspires, encourages, and equips others to look at life through the lenses of hope, trust, and God’s transforming grace. Jessica lives in rural Iowa surrounded by wide open spaces which remind her of God’s expansive love. She loves fun earrings, good coffee, and connecting with others.   Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.