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Married With Benefits™

Author: FamilyLife Podcast Network

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We got married because we thought we’d be better together rather than apart. So why is it so easy to feel isolated from your life-long partner? Host, author, and fellow married pilgrim, Brian Goins, tackles the relational pitfalls, from the trivial to the tragic, that move couples towards isolation rather than experiencing the real benefits that come from saying “I do.”
41 Episodes
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You know what they say about making assumptions, right? But there's one kind of assumption that can dramatically improve your marriage. Hosts Brian Goins and Shaunti Feldhahn discuss first secret of highly happy marriages on today's episode of Married with Benefits. Learn how one foundational mindset shift can help you move from frustration to affection and from grumpy to gracious. Show Notes and Resources FamilyLife has a brand-new course to help you strengthen your marriage and move towards more joy. Learn more about the the all-new Art of Marriage at artofmarriage.com! And for more resources on building a happy marriage and family, check out familylife.com. For your own copy of Shaunti Feldhahn's book, "The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages" on FamilyLife's shop. Learn more about Shaunti on her website, Shaunti.com See cru.org/us/en/about/privacy FamilyLIfe’s Privacy Policy
"Highly happy" is possible for marriage. But how do you get there? Change—even "good" change and growth—can be uncomfortable! Join hosts Brian Goins and Shaunti Feldhahn for a roadmap for perseverance in relationship growth, towards the highly happy marriage you dream of. Show Notes and Resources FamilyLife has a brand-new course to help you strengthen your marriage and move towards more joy. Learn more about the the all-new Art of Marriage at artofmarriage.com! And for more resources on building a happy marriage and family, check out familylife.com. For your own copy of Shaunti Feldhahn's book, "The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages" on FamilyLife's shop. Learn more about Shaunti on her website, Shaunti.com See cru.org/us/en/about/privacy FamilyLIfe’s Privacy Policy
Is marriage worth it? If you've never wondered yourself, you may have had someone ask you that question. In this special teaser episode to Season 4 of Married with Benefits, hosts Shaunti Feldhahn and Brian Goins are joined by Dr. Brad Wilcox, a renowned sociologist specializing in marriage and family research. Dr. Wilcox is a Professor of Sociology and Director of the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia, as well as the Future of Freedom Fellow at the Institute for Family Studies. Join us for this conversation exploring why more and more people are doubting marriage's value and what the research actually says. You'll also learn data-backed practical advice for building a happy marriage and family -- for yourself or for a friend! Show Notes and Resources Learn more and connect with Dr. Brad Wilcox His new book "Get Married: Why Americans Must Defy the Elites, Forge Strong Families, and Save Civilization" can be purchased hereor anywhere books are sold. Learn more about his work and research with the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia at nationalmarriageproject.org and the Institute for Family Studies at ifstudies.org. FamilyLife has a brand-new course to help you strengthen your marriage and move towards more joy! The the all-new Art of Marriageis masterfully designed to inspire and equip today's couples: whether newly married, seasoned, empty nesters, or part of a blended family. And for more resources on building a happy marriage and family, check out familylife.com. See cru.org/us/en/about/privacy FamilyLIfe’s Privacy Policy
Could your sex life be missing the point? Dr. Michael Sytsma talks about why we have sex…and the key to wow-level sex that changes everything. Show Notes and Resources Download our app to listen to Brian Goins, Michael Sytsma and Shaunti Feldhahn as they cover more questions. For more from Shaunti Feldhahn, visit Shaunti.com. Grab Shaunti and Dr. Sytsma's book in our shop: Secrets of Sex and Marriage: 8 Surprises That Make All the Difference. See cru.org/us/en/about/privacy FamilyLIfe’s Privacy Policy
7. When Sex is Boring

7. When Sex is Boring

2023-03-2137:53

Has your married sex coasted into the blahs? Sex therapist Dr. Michael Sytsma's got solutions to keep you both captivated in the bedroom. Show Notes and Resources Download our app to listen to Brian Goins, Michael Sytsma and Shaunti Feldhahn as they cover more questions. For more from Shaunti Feldhahn, visit Shaunti.com. Grab Shaunti and Dr. Sytsma's book in our shop: Secrets of Sex and Marriage: 8 Surprises That Make All the Difference. See cru.org/us/en/about/privacy FamilyLIfe’s Privacy Policy
Sex can be painful in more ways than one: from trauma, to physical pain, to porn. But these don't need to doom your relationship. Sex therapist Dr. Michael Sytsma offers ideas to transform hurt to eventual healing and wholeness. Show Notes and Resources Download our app to listen to Brian Goins, Michael Sytsma and Shaunti Feldhahn as they cover more questions. For more from Shaunti Feldhahn, visit Shaunti.com. Grab Shaunti and Dr. Sytsma's book in our shop: Secrets of Sex and Marriage: 8 Surprises That Make All the Difference. See cru.org/us/en/about/privacy FamilyLIfe’s Privacy Policy
Initiating or declining sex: It's tricky. Are your signals clear to your spouse? Sex therapist Dr. Michael Sytsma helps you with “not tonight” and “yes, please.” Show Notes and Resources Download our app to listen to Brian Goins, Michael Sytsma and Shaunti Feldhahn as they cover more questions. For more from Shaunti Feldhahn, visit Shaunti.com. Grab Shaunti and Dr. Sytsma's book in our shop: Secrets of Sex and Marriage: 8 Surprises That Make All the Difference. See cru.org/us/en/about/privacy FamilyLIfe’s Privacy Policy
Wondering how to keep your married sex life sizzling—or just move around conflict or hurt? Sex therapist Dr. Michael Sytsma helps you troubleshoot. Show Notes and Resources Download our app to listen to Brian Goins, Michael Sytsma and Shaunti Feldhahn as they cover more questions. For more from Shaunti Feldhahn, visit Shaunti.com. Grab Shaunti and Dr. Sytsma's book in our shop: Secrets of Sex and Marriage: 8 Surprises That Make All the Difference. See cru.org/us/en/about/privacy FamilyLIfe’s Privacy Policy
Does one of you want more sex than the other? Sex therapist Dr. Michael Sytsma offers ideas and insight to work through differences in sexual desire. Show Notes and Resources Download our app to listen to Brian Goins, Michael Sytsma and Shaunti Feldhahn as they cover more questions. For more from Shaunti Feldhahn, visit Shaunti.com. Grab Shaunti and Dr. Sytsma’s book in our shop: Secrets of Sex and Marriage: 8 Surprises That Make All the Difference. See cru.org/us/en/about/privacy FamilyLIfe’s Privacy Policy
Does one of you want more sex than the other? Sex therapist Dr. Michael Sytsma offers ideas and insight to work through differences in sexual desire. Show Notes and Resources Download our app to listen to Brian Goins, Michael Sytsma and Shaunti Feldhahn as they cover more questions. For more from Shaunti Feldhahn, visit Shaunti.com. Grab Shaunti and Dr. Sytsma’s book in our shop: Secrets of Sex and Marriage: 8 Surprises That Make All the Difference. See cru.org/us/en/about/privacy FamilyLIfe’s Privacy Policy
When it comes to sex…what’s normal? Sex therapist Dr. Michael Sytsma and Shaunti Feldhahn discuss research about drive, initiative, and other questions. Show Notes and Resources Grab Shaunti and Dr. Sytsma’s book in our shop: Secrets of Sex and Marriage: 8 Surprises That Make All the Difference. See cru.org/us/en/about/privacy FamilyLIfe’s Privacy Policy
Gathered from a live audience at FamilyLife's Love Like You Mean It cruise, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn and Brian Goins answer a variety of questions from husbands--like, "Why does she ask for my opinion, then do her own thing?" "Why does she pick on my tone of voice?" "Why doesn't she say what she means?" "How can I convince her I think she looks good?" "How am I supposed to avoid fix-it mode when she talks?" Show Notes and Resources For more from Shaunti Feldhahn, visit Shaunti.com. https://shaunti.com Sign up for the "I Do Every Day" devotional series. https://www.familylife.com/ido/ Come join us for romance and relaxation in 2021 on FamilyLife's Love Like You Mean It® marriage cruise. https://www.lovelikeyoumeanitcruise.com/ Check out all that's available on the FamilyLife Podcast Network. https://www.familylife.com/familylife-podcast-network/ Your generous support of FamilyLife helps create podcasts like Married With Benefits™. https://donate.familylife.com/married-with-benefits/ See cru.org/us/en/about/privacy FamilyLIfe’s Privacy Policy
Trying to figure out why your wife expects you to know what she's thinking? Does trying to interpret all that mystery feel frustrating, even exhausting? Brian, Shaunti, and guest Jim Mitchell explore how to uncover what's whirring beneath the surface in a way that makes your wife feel known--and significantly improve your relationship. Show Notes and Resources For more from Shaunti Feldhahn, visit Shaunti.com. https://shaunti.com Sign up for the "I Do Every Day" devotional series. https://www.familylife.com/ido/ For Men Only by Shaunti Feldhahn.  https://shop.familylife.com/product/for-men-only-revised-and-updated/ For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn.  https://shop.familylife.com/product/for-women-only-revised-and-updated/ Check out all that's available on the FamilyLife Podcast Network. https://www.familylife.com/familylife-podcast-network/ Your generous support of FamilyLife helps create podcasts like Married With Benefits™. https://donate.familylife.com/married-with-benefits/ See cru.org/us/en/about/privacy FamilyLIfe’s Privacy Policy
In this episode, Brian, Jen, and Shaunti address the common insecurities husbands experience in conflict with their wives. At work they feel they can tackle anything, but everything changes at home when emotions enter the scene. Are you curious why late-night arguments leave you feeling outmatched? Or why you'd rather withdraw to think before processing together? Listen for the reasons behind your feelings and for some healthy conflict management tips. Show Notes and Resources For more from Shaunti Feldhahn, visit Shaunti.com. https://shaunti.com Shaunti's book The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages. The little things that make a BIG difference! https://shaunti.com/tb-books/surprising-secrets-highly-happy-marriages/ From Season 1: Why Is He So Touchy? https://www.familylife.com/podcast/married-with-benefits/2-why-is-he-so-touchy/ Sign up for the "I Do Every Day" devotional series. https://www.familylife.com/ido/ "When Sinners Say 'I Do': Discovering the Power of the Gospel for Marriage" by Dave Harvey.  https://www.amazon.com/When-Sinners-Say-Do-Discovering/dp/0976758261 Check out all that's available on the FamilyLife Podcast Network. https://www.familylife.com/familylife-podcast-network/ Your generous support of FamilyLife helps create podcasts like Married With Benefits™. https://donate.familylife.com/married-with-benefits/ See cru.org/us/en/about/privacy FamilyLIfe’s Privacy Policy
Husbands all over the world struggle to understand and respond to their wife's tears. Considering two thirds of women admit to crying for no reason, they have good reason to. Curious why women cry so much? Shaunti and Brian, joined by Brian's wife Jen, dig into the "why" behind women's tears and some helpful "dos" and "don'ts" as you move towards your wife. Also learn how God responds to our tears. Show Notes and Resources For more from Shaunti Feldhahn, visit Shaunti.com. https://shaunti.com Sign up for the "I Do Every Day" devotional series. https://www.familylife.com/ido/ For Men Only by Shaunti Feldhahn.  https://shop.familylife.com/product/for-men-only-revised-and-updated/ For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn.  https://shop.familylife.com/p-2937-for-women-only-revised-and-updated.aspx Check out all that's available on the FamilyLife Podcast Network. https://www.familylife.com/familylife-podcast-network/ Your generous support of FamilyLife helps create podcasts like Married With Benefits™. https://donate.familylife.com/married-with-benefits/ See cru.org/us/en/about/privacy FamilyLIfe’s Privacy Policy
In season #1 of Married With Benefits we explained what a wife can learn about the mind of her husband from watching ESPN. Here Brian and Shaunti explain the heart of most wives as revealed in Hallmark movies. What core question is she asking that a good love story answers? What insecurities does she carry that she's hoping you will cover? Good news: You don't need to go ice skating or build a rocking chair out of raw cedar to win her heart every day. Show Notes and Resources For more from Shaunti Feldhahn, visit Shaunti.com. https://shaunti.com Hallmark Christmas Movie Plot Generator: https://wronghands1.com/2019/11/29/hallmark-christmas-movie-plot-generator/ From Season 1: "Why Doesn’t My Marriage Look Anything Like a Hallmark Movie?" https://www.familylife.com/podcast/married-with-benefits/14-why-doesnt-my-marriage-look-anything-like-a-hallmark-movie/ Sign up for the "I Do Every Day" devotional series. https://www.familylife.com/ido/ For Men Only by Shaunti Feldhahn.  https://www.familylife.com/podcast/married-with-benefits/9-every-hallmark-movie-is-the-same-why-does-she-still-watch-those/ Check out all that's available on the FamilyLife Podcast Network. https://www.familylife.com/familylife-podcast-network/ Your generous support of FamilyLife helps create podcasts like Married With Benefits™. https://donate.familylife.com/married-with-benefits/ See cru.org/us/en/about/privacy FamilyLIfe’s Privacy Policy
Does it feel like decisions are never final with your wife? Does she like to "taaaaaaaaaalk" things thru way too long? And what should you do when it feels like she's questioning a decision you've made and felt was final? Host Brian Goins and Shaunti Feldhahn explore this common experience with humor, wisdom, and insight on how to finally "lock in" her answer. Show Notes and Resources For more from Shaunti Feldhahn, visit Shaunti.com. https://shaunti.com For Men Only by Shaunti Feldhahn.  https://www.familylife.com/podcast/married-with-benefits/8-why-arent-decisions-ever-final-for-my-wife/ For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn.  https://shop.familylife.com/product/for-women-only-revised-and-updated/ Check out all that's available on the FamilyLife Podcast Network. https://www.familylife.com/familylife-podcast-network/ Your generous support of FamilyLife helps create podcasts like Married With Benefits™. https://donate.familylife.com/married-with-benefits/ See cru.org/us/en/about/privacy FamilyLIfe’s Privacy Policy
How can a couple restore trust in the area of sexual brokenness (pornography, affairs, etc.)? Licensed sex therapist Dr. Michael Sytsma joins host Brian Goins and Shaunti Feldhahn to instruct husbands and wives on the necessary steps to take to bring the darkness into the light and tenaciously hold on to the God of hope. Show Notes and Resources From season 1: "Questions Every Wife is Asking: How Can A Good Man Be Tempted By Porn?" https://www.familylife.com/podcast/married-with-benefits/3-how-can-a-good-man-be-tempted-by-porn/ Meet our guest today, Dr. Mike Sytsma. https://intimatemarriage.org/project/dr-mike/ Are you looking to invest in your marriage or repair broken trust? https://www.familylife.com/weekend-to-remember/ Your generous support of FamilyLife helps create podcasts like Married With Benefits™. https://donate.familylife.com/married-with-benefits/ See cru.org/us/en/about/privacy FamilyLIfe’s Privacy Policy
As crazy as it sounds, it's not uncommon for trust to be broken within a marriage and the husband not even realize it. Brian Goins and Shaunti Feldhahn are joined by FamilyLife Today co-host Ann Wilson to offer hope and wise counsel for couples needing to restore trust between them. Show Notes and Resources For more from Shaunti Feldhahn, visit Shaunti.com. https://shaunti.com Check out Dave and Ann Wilson's Vertical Marriage Study. https://www.familylife.com/verticalmarriagestudy/ Ready to get away with your spouse for the weekend and invest in your marriage? https://www.familylife.com/weekend-to-remember/ Check out all that's available on the FamilyLife Podcast Network. https://www.familylife.com/familylife-podcast-network/ Your generous support of FamilyLife helps create podcasts like Married With Benefits™. https://donate.familylife.com/married-with-benefits/ See cru.org/us/en/about/privacy FamilyLIfe’s Privacy Policy
Have you ever wondered why, just when your mind is shutting down for the night, your wife's mind seems to be just getting started? Married with Benefits host Brian Goins, along with Harvard trained researcher Shaunti Feldhahn, discuss this and reveal a simple truth that explains so much about your wife. And they offer 3 steps you can take to navigate this late-night impasse. Show Notes and Resources For more from Shaunti Feldhahn, visit Shaunti.com. https://shaunti.com If you have a heart for families in your community, and want to see your marriage make a difference in the world, check out FamilyLife Local. https://www.familylife.com/local/ Dr. Gary Chapman and Ron Deal join together in this book to teach you how the five love languages can help your blended family. https://www.5lovelanguages.com/book/building-love-together-in-blended-families/ For more great Ron Deal resources, check out FamilyLife Blended. https://www.familylife.com/familylifeblended/about/ Your generous support of FamilyLife helps create podcasts like Married With Benefits™. https://donate.familylife.com/married-with-benefits/ See cru.org/us/en/about/privacy FamilyLIfe’s Privacy Policy
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