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Three Bean Salad

Author: Three Bean Salad

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A podcast from comedians Mike Wozniak, Henry Paker and Benjamin Partridge. Each week the three beans tackle a different theme, suggested by the listening audience.
138 Episodes
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No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (it's a five Wednesday October and we only do four episodes a month - take it up with our lawyer, Julian Calendar)Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladMerch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod
Budget Airlines

Budget Airlines

2024-10-2301:05:251

Put your seat back into the reclining position (but only if you have the express consent of the person behind you who has also ideally reclined their seat with the express consent of the person behind them ad infinitum etc), shove a lukewarm bean in each ear and enjoy a third bean as a mid-flight snack for only €79.99 for Joe from York has suggested budget airlines as this week’s topic. That may mean BYO sandwich, BYO magazine and BYO sick-bag but the lukewarm chat is complementary. Bean voyage.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes, a monthly bonus episode and more: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladWith thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod
Sharks

Sharks

2024-10-1601:02:092

Dan from Bremen chooses sharks for this week’s topic as well he might. After all, just as the shark is a perfectly evolved apex predator, so is the bean a perfectly evolved apex legume. No one wants three sharks to team up: that would simply lead to a bloodbath. Three beans on the other hand means a lukewarm banter bath and everyone’s invited (special rubber socks will be supplied for those with untreated athlete’s foot or verrucas).Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladWith thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod
The Pyramids

The Pyramids

2024-10-0901:07:343

True to form, Tutankhamun from the Nile Delta has selected the pyramids as this week’s topic. Were these structures named after the shape or was it the other way around? Were they meant to be that shape in the first place or did they just run out of bricks? If they’ve REALLY been there for thousands of years how come they aren’t totally covered in graffiti tags and pictures of willies and stuff? For answers to all these questions and more why not try Wikipedia or Reddit or something? For a lukewarm take - press play.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladWith thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod
Adverts

Adverts

2024-10-0201:03:033

Adverts: lifeblood of the nation, engine of the economy, coal of the mind. What could be more splendid then than a podcast episode which already contains adverts also being about adverts? Thank you to Andrew from Leeds for feeding this suggestion into the bean machine for a listening experience which flicks a cold, hard finger-swear at the skip-forwards-by-30-seconds button.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladWith thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod
Pasta

Pasta

2024-09-2501:02:054

It’s drive time on Bean FM and this week the lukewarm hits are in the key of “pasta” thanks to Matt of Bremen! We’ve got all the latest celebrity gossip, updates from Bonjamin’s traffic drone, weather from The Onion Child, something about sport presumably and unlimited adverts!! Call 0800-RIGATONI now with your crazy pasta story and you could win a sieve moulded from the face of Chris Tarrant!!!With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod
Mushrooms

Mushrooms

2024-09-1801:01:014

The beans doff their caps (FUNGUS PUN!) to Adam of Bremington Spa for providing this weeks topic: mushrooms. What (or who???) are mushrooms? And why? And how come none of the other podcasts are getting to grips with them? Fear? Lobbyists? No matter. Just sit back, chuck some beans together with some mushrooms in a pot, set the hob to lukewarm and let’s see what bubbles up.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladWith thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod
Jazz

Jazz

2024-09-1101:10:557

Looking for a clear explanation of the syncopated contrapuntal elaboration of static half-diminished harmony tritone substitution turnaround? Then look no further as Cameron of Milton Keynes has the beans talk about jazz this week and, unless some sort of technical catastrophe has taken place resulting in a comprehensive explanation and discussion of music’s crown prince genre being replaced some quantity of bollocks, the beans have got you covered groove-style.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladSTREAMING TICKETS FOR OUR LONDON PODCAST FESTIVAL LIVE SHOWS:Friday 13th Sept 2024, 7pm: https://shop.kingsplace.co.uk/30561/30562Saturday 14th Sept 2024, 7pm: https://shop.kingsplace.co.uk/30530/30531With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod
Vampires

Vampires

2024-09-0401:04:272

Play this episode directly in front of a mirror and no reflection of it shall ye see because this episode, the first of season fourteen, is all about vampires thanks to Stan of Manchester. Little is known of the elusive Stan of Manchester other than he always travels with 50 boxes of Transylvanian soil. Make of that what you will.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladWith thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod
Feudalism

Feudalism

2024-06-2601:11:502

Is it true what they don’t say that the world is on the brink of sliding back into a system of feudalism? If so where will you be in the pecking order? And more importantly where will podcasters be? Clergy level? Perhaps Cody from America has a take on all this? Perhaps not. Perhaps definitely Cody asked the beans to discuss feudalism and they did after a fashion.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladWith thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod
No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until September).Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad
No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (it's a five Wednesday July and we will only do four Wednesday episodes in a month on the basis of hard won workers' rights)Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladMerch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod
Archaeology

Archaeology

2024-07-2401:03:424

This week the beans are scraping away the topsoil of knowledge and softly brushing away the woodlice of friendship to reveal a hoard of lukewarm banter for your pleasure. This is all thanks to Pat from Ely who buried archaeology into the bean machine in the distant past naively assuming it would never be disturbed and would be allowed to rest in peace in perpetuity. Hard cheese, Pat!Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladWith thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod
Boats

Boats

2024-07-1701:04:362

"Why is that Wikipedia doesn’t bother having any pages about aquatic craft these days?”, you might ask if you’d had your head stuck in a honey badger’s front porch for the last 3 years. The answer, of course, is that people come to Three Bean Salad for comprehensive data batches on this subject as well as the very hottest of takes. Previous “searches” by listeners have included submarines, the Titanic and cruise ships. This week Rowan completes the set by asking the beans to unravel the mysteries of the final category of water going vehicles: boats.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladWith thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod
Haircuts

Haircuts

2024-07-1001:05:003

Rebecca from (The?) Wirral selects haircuts as this week’s topic for the beans. Presumably this was a cynical attempt to silence Henry for an episode - an attempt which, of course, failed. Rebecca has been referred to the Bean Standards Select Committee and is suspended without pay pending their findings.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladWith thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod
My Hot Air Balloon Ride

My Hot Air Balloon Ride

2024-07-0301:11:405

This week, Bonjamin Partridge centralises power, unilaterally suppresses any viable opposition and brings all bean media under executive control. “Big deal!” we hear you cry. “He’s just tapping into the Zeitgeist!”. Perhaps you’re right. Perhaps such a man understands that the people need to hear a story about a hot air balloon ride even when they might not think they need to hear a story about a hot air balloon ride. Tune in again next week when Bonjamin turns his sights on the judiciary!Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes, a monthly bonus episode and more: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladWith thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod
Gameshows

Gameshows

2024-06-1954:162

Allison of Penistone has the beans talk about gameshows this week and by gum they don’t disappoint. Or do they? Why not play the ultimate game of chance and find out? Simply “Spin That Bean!”* and you could stand to win the best part of an hour of lukewarm banter.*conceptual bean only. Sorry. You’ll need to click the link as per.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladWith thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comLivestream tickets for our shows at London Podcast Festival on Friday 13 Sept and Saturday 14 Sept 2024: https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/kplayer/performer/three-bean-salad/Get in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod
Libraries

Libraries

2024-06-1201:08:446

It is said that there as many books in the libraries of the world as there are atoms in a book (although not sure which book. Actually that doesn’t make sense given the variation in the size of books. Perhaps it was in a grain of sand. Or is that the thing about there being the same number of stars in the sky as grains of sand in a beach. But which beach? West Wittering is massive. Actually forget it). Freya of Bremen has chosen libraries for this week’s topic so for once can we all just ruddy well put those phones away and read a bleeding novel?!Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladWith thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comLivestream tickets for our shows at London Podcast Festival on Friday 13 Sept and Saturday 14 Sept 2024: https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/kplayer/performer/three-bean-salad/Get in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod
Eggs

Eggs

2024-06-0501:02:153

A brand new series kicks the talon of lukewarm banter through the paper-thin shell of rules before squawking truth bombs from the beak of freedom and watching its unhatched siblings being gathered by the smallholder of something else and incorporated into a pretty decent ham and cheese omelette. That’s right, thanks to Katie of Hull, the first topic of the first of episode of series 13 is eggs.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladWith thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod
No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until June).Join our PATREON at patreon.com/threebeansalad for bonus episodes.
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Comments (15)

Alice perrers

Will Conor every release his jingles on a 3BS album? this one is particularly awesome

Oct 8th
Reply

Alice perrers

The Boots section had me cry laughing

Sep 12th
Reply

Robert Yuille

Sir I have become dfhtfggnhhnb_vfbfbh_xyvgxvbvgcxgzhxzhhjnhzbhbhxhnxx

Sep 2nd
Reply

Ben Stevens

The best thing since sliced bread, which, ironically, can only be improved by toasting and serving with beans.

Jul 28th
Reply

Robert Yuille

this is season 14 accidentally three bean salad has screwed up

Jun 26th
Reply

Stevie Gilroy

"7 tiles of Lorne sausage meat" Actually laughing in bed at 3am a beautiful line and yes the Scottish accent was perfect.

Jan 20th
Reply

C3S (Lobus)

With in ear earbuds I've noticed people slowely move away from me on the underground when I laugh out loud. If anyone out there likes a bit of silly (who doesn't) I highly recommend you listen to these 3 idiots.

Jan 5th
Reply

C3S (Lobus)

why oh why oh why are more people not listening to these 3 idiots. I wouldn't feel so alone when I laugh out loud and people move away from me on the underground. Utterly amazing and sometimes quite surreal, keep it up chaps.

Dec 16th
Reply

Tom J Smith

In this episode, the Beans spend 8 minutes talking about a hypothetical mustard manufacturer.

Jun 13th
Reply (1)

Rob Finch

My mother told me to sell the family cow, but all I got was a subscription to this podcast.

Jan 24th
Reply

Nuutti

I genuinely fell asleep near the end of the episode and it was slightly alarming and surreal to wake up to Thatcher and a terrible cacophony of seagulls

Dec 12th
Reply

Sam Massey

This podcast is criminally undersubscribed.

Jun 30th
Reply (1)

David Rippin

Utterly hilarious.

May 8th
Reply