Tshirt Truths with Bonny King-Taylor

Why does everyone think that change is hard? Because we're primates. That's why your hind brain controls your survival. And the part of your mind that I like to call the small ego is in charge of keeping you safe by keeping everything the same, even the stuff you don't like. In this episode, we explore how biology, ancestry and social constructs combine to make us believe that we can't handle change.  With one, quick exercise, you can overcome that old pattern and open yourself up to creating opportunities 'out of the blue.'Next time on Tshirt Truths:  The one motivating factor for all human decisions and what that means for you.*************************Episode Transcription************************KEYWORDSthoughts, t shirt, feel, hard, chemicals, physical sensations, work, change, life, primate ancestors, thought, risky business, negative thinking, mind, biology, quirk, practice, hind brain, predators00:57Why does everyone think that change is hard? Because we're primates. That's why your hind brain controls your survival. And the part of your mind that I like to call the small ego is in charge of keeping you safe by keeping everything the same, even the stuff you don't like. 01:16And we tend to believe that things are hard when other people say that they're hard. And it's a huge social construct for people to be taught to think that they can't handle making change. And part of that is carried on with biology, in that we have 65 to 70,000 thoughts every day 90% of which are redundant and negative. For us predictability equals security. Support the show

In this episode, we talk about the one behavior change model that rules them all. One that gets us past the expectation that people should just magically know what we want. You'll hear an example that will warm your heart and give you relationship goals. In the end, you'll know how to help both yourself and others give you what you really need.Next time on Tshirt Truths:  Make Friends with Change*************************Episode Transcription************************ (00:12):Have you ever read or heard something and thought to yourself, dang, that was deep. I got to get that on a t-shirt. I have that thought all the time. I'm Bonny King-Taylor, a life coach and counselor dedicated to helping you change your life by changing your thoughts. I'd like to welcome you to t-shirt truths, where we talk about the thoughts that when we become comfortable with them, like a favorite t-shirt, we become more fully ourselves, live more satisfying lives and interact more effectively. With those around us. Let's get started by slipping into today's t-shirt truth.(00:57):In my episode about focusing on what you want rather than what you don't want. I talked about how your subconscious mind believes everything you say it focuses on the intention, not whether it's positive or negative, real, or made up the truth is we tend to focus more on the negative until we train ourselves to do otherwise.(01:17):Do you want to know my biggest pet peeve here it is: Have you ever noticed how, when someone tells you to be more realistic, it's actually code for be more negative? Yeah. It's not constructive. In a future episode, I'll go into the massive scam that misery loves company really is.(01:38):But for now let's focus on the one true behavior change model that rules them all. It's P M S easy to remember, and not at all, what you think it's about making your intentions and requests both from yourself and others, positive, measurable, and specific positive is defined as consisting in or characterized by the presence or possession of features or qualities rather than their absence, constructive, optimistic, and confident.Support the show

I'm Bonny King-Taylor, a life coach and counselor. And I want to welcome you to Tshirt Truths, where we talk about the ideas that, when we become comfortable with them, like a favorite t-shirt, we become more fully ourselves, live more satisfying lives and interact more effectively with those around us. You've heard that saying, change your language, change your life. Right? Well, it turns out that doing so is no more difficult than washing a stiff new t-shirt until you really want to wear it.Let's get started by slipping into today's Tshirt Truth:Focus on what you WANT vs. what you DON'T WANT. Let me know in the comments where you can use this tool, and if you'd like a little help applying it to a specific situation, I'll reply in the comments.Next time on Tshirt Truths:  The P. M. S. Model for behavior change*************************Episode Transcription************************Tshirt Truths, Season 1, Episode 2Title: Focus on what you WANT vs. what you DON'T WANT.(00:10):Have you ever read or heard something and thought to yourself, daaaaang, that was deep. I gotta get that on a t-shirt. I have that thought all the time. There are universal trues and things that you might even hear in passing that can affect us so deeply that we automatically want to make them a part of who we are. But to do that, we need to go a step further than just writing them down on the back of an envelope and finding them under a coffee cup months later. We have the opportunity to practice them so that we're metaphorically wearing them in everything that we do. I'm Bonny King-Taylor, a life coach and counselor, and I want to welcome you to Tshirt Truths, where we talk about the ideas that when we become comfortable with them, like a favorite t-shirt, we become more fully ourselves, live more satisfying lives and interact more effectively with those around us.(01:03):You've heard that saying, “change your language, change your life”, right? Well, it turns out that doing so is no more difficult than washing a stiff new t-shirt until you really want to wear it. Let's get started by slipping into today's t-shirt truth, focus on what you want rather than what you don't want, and be very careful that your wants are not actually don't want in disguise. This is one of the most important tools you can ever use to change your experience of your own life. And yet it seems to be pretty difficult for people to turn into a habit. And that's because most people don't actually know what they want, much less, how to ask for it in any sort of constructive way. And to be perfectly honest, we live in a society that sort of thrives on this fact. So let's see what we can do to shift that for you.(02:10):Then, if you haven't listened to season one episode one, do that now to grab the best tool for eliminating catastrophizing, the kind of worst case scenario, thinking that comes along with being a hairless ape. By the end of this episode, though, you'll have a sense of how well you think you're doing on winning the game of life, how those pesky don't want, or why we genuinely believe we can't have nice things and words that can keep you focused on what you really do want and how to trick your brain into using them. All this wiSupport the show

I'm Bonny King-Taylor, a life coach and counselor. And I want to welcome you to Tshirt Truths, where we talk about the ideas that, when we become comfortable with them, like a favorite t-shirt, we become more fully ourselves, live more satisfying lives and interact more effectively with those around us. You've heard that saying, change your language, change your life. Right? Well, it turns out that doing so is no more difficult than washing a stiff new t-shirt until you really want to wear it.Let's get started by slipping into today's Tshirt Truth. Unless you're actually on fire. And by that, I mean 'en flambe' (French for 'on fire) in any given moment, you're probably okay. This tool is the antidote for catastrophizing!Next time on Tshirt Truths:  Is it a Want, or a DON'T WANT in disguise?*************************Episode Transcription************************Tshirt Truths, Season 1, Episode 1Title: But are you actually on FIRE?(00:12):Have you ever read or heard something and thought to yourself, dang, that was deep. I gotta get that on a t-shirt. I have that thought all the time. I'm Bonny King-Taylor, a life coach and counselor dedicated to helping you change your life by changing your thoughts. I'd like to welcome you to Tshirt Truths, where we talk about the thoughts that when we become comfortable with them, like a favorite t-shirt, we become more fully ourselves, live more satisfying lives and interact more effectively with those around us. Let's get started by slipping into today's t-shirt truth,(00:57):Unless you're actually on fire. And by that, I mean on flambe´, in any given moment, you're probably okay, this tool is the antidote for catastrophizing. And it's one of the first tools I ever wrote many years ago. It's helped a lot of people develop the habit of pausing and applying the SUD Scale. That's the subjective units of distress. Like when the doctor asks you on a scale of one to 10, how high is your pain? And it'll surprise you how much your brain can help you if you'd just let it. So let me tell you a story about how I'm not actually on fire can apply to you. My clients know that they can depend on me, whether they're currently on my service or not. And one of the greatest joys of my life is hearing from them years later, one day I'm puttering around the house and my phone rings.(01:49):It's a client that I haven't heard from in a couple of years, and that person was crying. And I was like, okay, hold on. Scurry, scurry, scurry, turn off the stove. As I'm walking towards the chair, I'm metaphorically, armoring up getting ready for anything. But when I settled in, I realized that they weren't crying. They were laughing. And they said I was getting ready to go into a meeting with my boss, which by the way is the thing we'd been working on. And I started to panic, but you know what? I heard your voice in my head and a smile spread across my face. I was not on fire. I went into that meeting and realized something for the very first time. My boss was even more scared than me. Thank you so much for helping me to see that. And I got to tell you a Listener...Support the show