The Football Mental Health Alliance

Fellow referees, let’s be brutally honest about what’s happening to us.You know the routine. Another weekend, another match where you’ll be screamed at, questioned, insulted and quite possibly threatened. You’ll drive home alone, replaying every decision, wondering if you made the right calls, and asking yourself why you put up with this treatment for what amounts to pocket change and a genuine love of the game.If you’re listening to this, chances are you’re struggling. Maybe you’re having trouble sleeping before matches, feeling your stomach churn as you drive to the pitch/ground, or finding yourself snapping at family members after particularly hostile games. Perhaps you’ve started avoiding certain fixtures, questioning every decision you make, or seriously considering hanging up your whistle for good.Here’s what I want you to understand from the very beginning: your distress is not a personal failing. It’s a rational response to an irrational situation.

Meet Dr Fleur-Michelle Coiffait: clinical psychologist, founder and advocate for neurodiversity. With nearly two decades of experience, Fleur has worked across the NHS, private, and charitable sectors, specialising in autism, ADHD, and learning differences. She’s also neurodivergent herself and a parent to a neurodivergent child, bringing both professional expertise and lived experience to her work. Fleur has led national assessment services, lectures on doctoral training courses, and regularly shares her insights through publications and media, including TV appearances on the impact of COVID-19 on families.In this episode, we explore the challenges and opportunities for neurodivergent athletes, the importance of creating inclusive environments and the need for a proactive approach to support. The discussion covers a wide range of topics, from the emotional toll of masking and rejection sensitivity to practical coaching strategies and the generational impact of neurodiversity.You can find Fleur at: https://www.coiffpsych.com/Key Discussion Points:Meeting Format and Authenticity: Danny and Fleur-Michelle discuss the conversational nature of their meeting and the importance of comfort and authenticity, even in professional settings, particularly when discussing neurodiversity in sports.Worrying About Others' Opinions: The conversation delves into the significant impact of worrying about others' opinions, especially for neurodivergent individuals, and the internal exhaustion it can cause."Fight or Flight" Mode in Neurodiversity: They explore the constant "fight or flight" mode experienced by many neurodivergent individuals and how it affects performance in sports and daily life.Anxiety in Young Athletes During Transitions: The discussion highlights heightened anxiety among young academy players during transitions like preseason or contractual changes, and how an "overactive mind" can exacerbate these worries.Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD): Fleur-Michelle describes RSD and its impact on individuals, including chronic lateness and dwelling on perceived negatives.Harnessing Analytical Thinking: The conversation shifts to how the analytical thinking often associated with neurodiversity can be positively harnessed to analyse past situations and brainstorm future approaches.Filtering Out Noise and Seeking Support: Danny and Fleur-Michelle discuss the difficulty neurodivergent brains have in filtering out "noise" and the crucial role of external support (friends, coaches, family) in managing an overactive mind.Identifying Neurodiversity in Athletes: They explore how coaches can identify signs of neurodiversity, noting the challenge of "masking" where athletes conceal their struggles.Stigma and Disclosure in Football: The discussion addresses the stigma surrounding neurodiversity in football, the defensive reactions of parents, and the importance of framing conversations around support and well-being.Football's Lag in Inclusivity: Danny asserts that football lags behind society in addressing neurodiversity and other inclusivity issues, particularly in the men's game compared to women's football.Generational Neurodiversity and Family Journeys: They discuss how a child's diagnosis can often trigger a parent's own journey of self-discovery and understanding of neurodiversity.Clubs' Duty of Care and Potential Litigation: Danny warns professional clubs about the risk of litigation under the Equality Act if they fail to make reasonable adjustments for neurodivergent players.Recommendations for Clubs: Fleur-Michelle proposes that clubs publicly commit to understanding neurodiversity, implement strategies, provide staff training and have specialist advisors.Neurodiversity Inclusion in Football: The conversation highlights the perceived lack of focus on...

If you're listening to this as a football official, you already know what others might not fully understand: officiating is one of the most mentally challenging roles in grassroots football. You make split-second decisions under intense scrutiny, manage conflict between emotional participants and maintain fairness while facing criticism from multiple directions.

From pressure to performance: Match day brings a unique energy to grassroots football. The anticipation, excitement, and yes - the pressure- can create a perfect storm of emotions for players, parents/carers/guardians (PCGs), coaches and spectators alike. Learning to navigate match day mentally isn't about eliminating these feelings; it's about channelling them in ways that enhance rather than hinder your football experience.

In grassroots football, there’s a troubling paradox that can affect coaches’ mental health. The coaches who follow best practices – those focusing on player development, long-term growth and enjoyment over immediate results – often face more criticism and pressure from parents/carers/guardians (PCGs) than those who prioritise winning at all costs.This creates a mental health challenge that’s rarely discussed but significantly impacts the very people we rely on to develop our young footballers in the right way.

Football is full of goals – scoring them, preventing them, celebrating them. Here's a different type of goal that can boost mental wellbeing for everyone in your football community: The Kindness Goal.Research shows that acts of kindness don't just help the receiver – they actually boost the mental health and happiness of the person giving. In football, where emotions run high and pressure can build, intentional kindness can transform the atmosphere and strengthen our community bonds.

"All Footballers Experience: Anxiety" transforms how we teach children about mental health through storytelling and trust.Following young Newcastle fan Jude's magical journey, readers meet their heroes in a new light - not as untouchable superstars, but as understanding mentors who share their own experiences with anxiety.Through Anthony Gordon's guidance, with help from Bruno Guimarães, Joelinton, Sandro Tonali, Eddie Howe, Dan Burn and Alan Shearer, children learn practical tools for managing anxiety in clear, age-appropriate language. Each section includes interactive elements, from practice exercises to QR codes linking to additional resources, ensuring children remain engaged while developing crucial life skills.Beyond the immediate impact of supporting young fans' mental health, this initiative positions Newcastle at the forefront of youth mental health advocacy.By featuring current players sharing authentic experiences, the club builds lasting emotional connections with young supporters and their families. The book offers a meaningful alternative to screen time, while creating lifelong associations between learned coping strategies and the Newcastle players who taught them.With opportunities for workshops, school programs and international adaptation, this project transforms Newcastle's relationship with young fans from purely sporting entertainment to a supportive force in their personal development, creating positive associations that last a lifetime.

Let's get one thing straight: we're not about to tell you to "just be grateful" when you're struggling, or suggest that positive thinking can solve all your problems. That's not what gratitude practice is about, and frankly, that kind of advice can be pretty unhelpful when you're dealing with real challenges.

We've all been there. You wake up and everything just feels... off. Maybe you've got a work deadline looming, your family is getting on your nerves, household responsibilities are piling up, or you're just having one of those days where your brain seems determined to focus on everything that's going wrong. Some days, even getting out of bed feels like climbing a mountain.You don't need hours of free time or expensive equipment to lift your spirits. These five mood-boosting techniques are designed for real life – when you're juggling work and home responsibilities, feeling overwhelmed by daily pressures, or just need a quick reset during a challenging day.

What Actually Is Mental Health?When you hear “mental health,” what comes to mind? If you’re picturing someone having a complete breakdown on the touchline or a player who can’t cope with pressure, you’re not alone – but you’re also missing the bigger picture. Mental health isn’t just about mental illness, and it definitely isn’t just about feeling down after a defeat.Think of mental health like physical fitness. Just as your physical health exists on a spectrum – from feeling energetic and match-ready to nursing a niggling injury or dealing with a serious strain – your mental health is constantly changing too. Some days you might feel mentally sharp, resilient and ready to tackle anything the game throws at you. On other days, you might feel overwhelmed by team pressures, anxious about performance, or just not quite yourself. All of this is completely normal.

Neurodiversity refers to natural variations in brain development and function, not a mental health condition.

Do your players sometimes struggle to understand their neurodiverse teammate's needs? Creating an environment where neurotypical players comprehend and support neurodiversity within the team is essential for building genuine inclusion, empathy and compassion throughout the squad.

If you ask a doctor or read a medical book, it will define ADHD as a neurodevelopmental disorder characterised by traits of impulsivity, forgetfulness, and disorganisation.

Understanding ADHD in Grassroots FootballCoaching all young players in grassroots football requires patience, adaptability and an understanding of how different children learn and respond to instructions.

I might not seem autistic, but that doesn’t mean it affects me any less. On the outside, I might look like everybody else, but inside my own head, it's a completely different story.

Living with ADHD feels like life is on hard mode. It's as if my brain is ruled by a never-ending pursuit of dopamine - always chasing that next hit of excitement, stimulation, or novelty.

Mistakes are inevitable in football. Whether it's a misplaced pass, a missed tackle or a squandered scoring opportunity, how players respond to these moments can define their performance.

As a grassroots football coach, I've seen how Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) can significantly impact players with ADHD.

This story was found on Reddit and highlights how the suppression of authentic emotional expression in neurodivergent youth doesn't simply fade away - it evolves into profound communication barriers in adulthood. When children, particularly those with autism, are consistently taught that their natural expressions of joy or excitement are "too much," they develop sophisticated masking techniques that eventually become involuntary prison cells.

In this episode, Danny sits down with Jennie Smith, Director of Safeguarding Today to explore the crucial role of safeguarding in football, from grassroots to the professional game. Jennie shares insights from her extensive experience, including her background as a criminal barrister and prosecutor, and her work leading safeguarding education for the English Football League (EFL).Key discussion points include:The importance of safeguarding in grassroots football and how it differs from the professional game.The role of mental health first aid and why every club should have at least one trained individual.Best practices for coaches and clubs when handling safeguarding concerns and mental health disclosures.The impact of safeguarding education in football and how it has evolved in response to past failures.How to challenge outdated views on safeguarding and mental health while creating a safe and supportive football culture.The role of parents, coaches, and club officials in creating a positive football environment for young players.Jennie also shares her thoughts on handling disclosures, dealing with difficult safeguarding scenarios, and the need for football to catch up with wider societal changes in areas like mental health and inclusion.This is a must-listen for coaches, parents, and club officials who want to create a safer, more supportive footballing environment for young players.