This episode is a raw one for me. It came out of the blue, right in the middle of an overwhelming season. There’s been a lot happening personally and medically within my family, and when that happens, I tend to put my head down and just get through it without really processing what’s going on.

After a long, exhausting day, I was putting the kids to bed and completely lost it. I yelled, felt terrible, apologized, and cried. It hit me—this is restraint collapse. We talk about it with kids; they hold it together all day and then fall apart at home. But sitting there in tears, I realized I was experiencing the adult version.

All day, I can show up for clients, for work, and on social media. But when I walk through the door, my patience and energy are gone. The guilt that comes with realizing I can give my best to others but not always to my family—it’s heavy. That moment was a wake-up call.

I talked with my kids about creating a safe word they can use when they notice I’m not being my best self. I’ve been working on supporting myself better—prioritizing movement, validating my feelings, being honest with Jay, gratitude journaling, cutting screen time, using noise-canceling headphones, and giving myself a short transition period when we all get home.

We talk a lot about helping kids cope with restraint collapse, but not what it looks like for us. Hard seasons will always come, but how we care for ourselves can change. My hope is that this episode reminds you to take a step back, give yourself grace, and focus on the small things that help you breathe again. This season won’t last forever.

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