This is not your average sexual empowerment story. In this deeply personal episode, I share the unexpected journey of injuring myself during a self-pleasure practice, being diagnosed with Mycoplasma (specifically, Ureaplasma), and the spiral of shame and fear that followed, as well as the hormonal dysregulation this pointed to.

This is a story about arousal literacy. The all too familiar experience you have when your body says “yes” whilst your nervous system screams “not yet.” It’s about reclaiming sovereignty when the very thing that once gave you life, your turn-on, feels like a betrayal.

You’ll hear me reflect on:

- The difference between regulated vs. dysregulated arousal

- How pelvic tension, unprocessed grief, and overfunctioning play into sexual shutdown

- The relationship between nervous system healing and cervical awakening

- And the unexpected medicine of sexual rupture as a rite of passage

This episode is part erotic memoir, part nervous system teaching, part spiritual transmission, and it’s a real-time unfolding of what it means to fuck yourself back to life... not in a performative way, but through profound honesty and repair.

If you've ever felt confused by your body, terrified by your turn-on, or ashamed by your symptoms, this is for you.

00:00 Intro

04:40 The Erotic Spark & Dysregulated Arousal

11:58 Introducing (Phases 1 & 2) of the 3-phase Path to Orgasmic Sovereignty

22:27 Ancestral Integration + Real-time Alchemy

32:46 Introudcing the Mycoplasma STI + Regulated vs. Dysregulated Arousal

51:06 Female vs. Male Libido + Cyclical Arousal

60:00 Erotic Sovereignty + Holistic Dive into Erotic Self-Repair + Mycoplasma

67:38 Integration & Reclamation