🎙️ EPISODE 13: What Can Coaches Learn from 2025? | The "State First" Principle

What makes change work actually stick? Why do the same techniques work magically for one client but fall flat with another?

In this raw and reflective episode, host Ken-ken Somera is joined by Dr. Strix Toledo to audit the year's biggest professional lessons. They move past tools and tactics to uncover the foundational layer that dictates all success: THE CLIENT'S STATE.

We dive deep into:

🔹 The "State First" Principle: Why no technique works if the timing and internal state aren't right.

🔹 Strix's "Self-Talk State Ladder": A brand-new model for diagnosing where a client is (from Chaos to Clarity) and exactly what to do at each stage.

🔹 Practical 2025 Takeaways: The importance of chemistry calls, knowing when to refer clients out, and maintaining professional authority.

🔹 Looking ahead to 2026: Ken's new focus on "Confidence on Command" and the continuous pursuit of mastery.

Whether you're a coach, therapist, or simply working on your own growth, this episode provides a powerful framework for creating real, lasting change.

⏱️ CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS & HIGHLIGHTS0:00 - 5:15 - Year-End Kickoff: Framing the core question: "What did we learn in 2025?"

5:15 - 18:30 - The Central Insight - "State First":

"It's about state first... no matter what we try, if the person isn't ready and if we're not ready... nothing lands." – Strix"It's a matter of when, brother. It's a matter of when." – Ken

• Why leverage, chemistry, and timing trump all techniques.

18:30 - 28:00 - Coach Reality Check:

• The necessity of "chemistry calls" and trusting your fit.

"Can I genuinely root for the client if I don't like the client?" – Ken

• The critical role of authority and belief in the therapeutic relationship.

28:00 - 45:00 - Introducing the "Self-Talk State Ladder":

• Rung 1: Threat/Collapse - "I am broken."

• Rung 2: Activated/Stressed - Urgent, looping anxiety.

• Rung 3: Regulated/Grounded - The neutral "base state" where change becomes possible.

• Rung 4: Insight/Clarity - The space for genius to arise.

"Self-talk isn't the cause, it's the symptom of your nervous system state." – Strix

45:00 - 55:00 - When Tools Fail & The Power of Referral:

• Recognizing when you're not the right vessel, and the ethics of referring out.

"It's a delusion to think you're the very best at something... if you're a conscientious practitioner, you give them to the person who can help them best." – Strix

55:00 - 1:05:00 - Ken's 2026 Focus & Final Insights:

• Ken announces his dedicated path toward "Confidence on Command" coaching.

• The importance of environment and community for mental management.

• Mastery defined: "When it doesn't change your breathing." – Strix

1:05:00 - END - Closing Messages & Looking Forward:

⏱️ CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS & HIGHLIGHTS"

"If you're not dead, whatever it is, it was just a delay. Don't worry about perfection when you can start today to make progress." – Strix

Mabuhay! (Long live!)... Take advantage of the New Year's optimism. You have the power to change your state." – Ken