DiscoverDates, Mates and Babies with the Vallottons134. Blending Families: Grieving What You Thought It Would Be
134. Blending Families: Grieving What You Thought It Would Be

134. Blending Families: Grieving What You Thought It Would Be

Update: 2025-10-09
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Blending a family isn’t just about making schedules work or learning each other’s habits. It’s about entering into an already-formed culture — one that existed before you. For the stepparent, that often means grieving what you imagined family life would look like, while choosing to restrain yourself from immediately reshaping the environment into “yours.”

In this episode, Jason and Lauren Vallotton talk candidly about:

  • Why grief is a normal and healthy part of the step-parenting journey
  • The tension between honoring the existing family culture and slowly helping build a new one
  • The unspoken expectations that every stepparent carries — and what to do with them
  • Why building a new “normal” takes years (Ron Deal says seven, and it often feels true!)
  • Encouragement for couples to stay connected in the long process of blending

If you’re in the thick of a blended family dynamic, you are not crazy and you are not alone. Healing, belonging, and love can grow in the middle of the mess — but it takes time, patience, and a lot of grace.

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For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

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134. Blending Families: Grieving What You Thought It Would Be

134. Blending Families: Grieving What You Thought It Would Be

Jason and Lauren Vallotton