15 - The Hidden Costs of Workplace Politeness with Harriet Waley-Cohen
Description
Episode 15 - The Hidden Costs of Workplace Politeness with Harriet Waley-Cohen
With a background in psychology, a decade of experience in investments, and a further decade coaching senior women on confidence and leadership, Harriet Waley-Cohen is a speaker, facilitator, trainer, and coach specialising in supporting companies within traditionally male-dominated industries, including financial services, property, and tech.
She works with organisations to attract, recruit, and retain top female talent at all levels, fostering a culture of exceptional allyship and driving a measurable return on investment (ROI) from gender-focused DEI initiatives.
Her services range from one-off workshops designed to spark fresh, impactful conversations about DEI to comprehensive series of workshops, programmes, and consultancy aimed at breaking through the diversity glass ceiling. Additionally, she delivers in-house confidence and leadership programmes for senior and “rising star” women, alongside allyship initiatives. Each year, she also offers bespoke 1:1 coaching to a select number of clients, providing tailored support to meet their unique development needs.
What we talk about:
2:56 – “Too Polite” DEI Conversations: Harriet reveals the gap between organisational policies and lived experiences, highlighting NDAs, sexual harassment, and the protection of “high-performing predators.”
9:07 – Impact of NDAs: NDAs silence women, preventing them from speaking to friends, family, or therapists, causing emotional and psychological harm.
10:33 – Gossip as a Survival Tool: Harriet reclaims “gossip” as a vital tool for women’s safety and information-sharing.
12:31 – The Complicity Problem: Reflecting on the Jimmy Savile case, they discuss how complicity and silence enable abusive behaviour.
16:05 – Legislation vs. Lip Service: Harriet argues that legislative change, like Iceland’s gender laws, is essential for true cultural change.
17:16 – “Stop Fixing Women”: Confidence programmes aren’t enough. Companies must shift the systems that hold women back.
20:23 – Why Girls Struggle at Work: Traits that help girls excel in school work against them in the workplace.
23:39 – The “Game” Backfires: Playing into hyper-femininity often leads to a lack of respect in the workplace.
27:43 – DEI’s Blind Spots: Harriet calls out DEI’s failure to address antisemitism and reflects on online backlash.
30:05 – Final Question: Harriet invites listeners to ask, “Is it her, or is it the system around her?”
Follow Harriet on social media:
Website - https://www.harrietwaleycohen.com/
Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/harriet-waley-cohen-speaker/
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