It’s weird so please help me describe it – but I’m going to give it a try:

It’s this nagging sense that something is missing, undone, that hangs in the background.

You may go through your day, and you’re getting through things, and you might be feeling okay on the whole…

And yet, there’s a longing, this emptiness somewhere within that is yearning for closure, this vague sense we always resist.

Because if you answer, and look at it closely, it hides an old pain, and it might get worse, or even take over…

I felt it come back when I was doing a podcast about cancer.

We wrapped up a great conversation on the importance of sharing your story – I shared some practical, hard earned advice, there was a great energy and connection, the hosts thanked me profusely, and yet…

I left with a sense something’s missing. But why?

I gave it my best, and shared my authentic, personal truth, I served…

What did I leave out?

And then it got me. I saw it, right there on the outskirts of my mind, a vague and ominous shadow.

A glimpse of the past.

Reminder: you’re broken.

The fear of losing control.

That the event is going to take over, wipe everything out, and be the center of the universe.

The meaning of my existence is keep it at bay.

I hoped if I kept it a secret, that it would stay out of the way…

And one day, I’d have to be facing the truth…

But not today.

And so I kept living – in fear that’s hiding…

It’s funny how secrets will crawl their way out to the surface, especially secrets we keep from ourselves.

The war in Ukraine, and stories of rape, pillaging, murder, has opened a deep rift within me.

A rift that I had to find way to close.

I didn’t know how – I went seeking, to get these fears out of me, and in the process, I found a person who’s been through it.

The person who saw me, and seeing my story reflected, I saw the way forward.

In taking the next step is hard because it is into unknown…

But unknown is better than horrors we live with, the nightmares that we endure.

It maybe a small step, a nudge, or a leap, but I know it’s worth it.

Because it will bring you away from the pain and the suffering and toward the freedom of being , it’s weight off your shoulders.

I promise you! Worth it

Let go of the hurt.

Of bitterness. Shame. The illusion: no, you are not broken!

And you never were… You’re free to feel happy, today.

The memory lives on inside me.

The horror?

The horror is gone.

Where are you , my friend, on your journey, and what’s next on your path to heal?

Let’s figure it out – together!

This week on the podcast The Next Step To Heal:

​