Between Kelsey’s unforgettable birthday weekend in Cork and Rebecca’s teary-eyed search for a Maritozzo, the theme of this week’s episode is clear… life is a bit much. Kelsey shares every detail from the party. Pint and cocktail combos, family karaoke, her mum saving the day with a last-minute butter-yellow dress, and the heartbreak of paying into a nightclub with no crowd. Rebecca’s week brought hormonal rage, a sobbing session over closed bakeries, a proud €1.50 Luas ride, and the deeply humbling discovery that she’s been walking past a perfectly good bus stop for months. Grown-up life? Overrated.

Naturally, all roads lead to a shared fantasy. Moving into a hotel. No plugs falling out of the wall, no calling landlords, no chores. Just steam rooms, pillow menus, and BBC World News from a fluffy bed with food delivered to the door. Also this week, a proper goodbye to vaping (with the help of a grapefruit-scented placebo pipe), a quick rage at period ads that use the word “gush,” some theories on Cork’s meltdown against Tipp, and, of course, the now-iconic Coldplay affair (including the suspiciously AI-written statement). RIP Ozzy, free the snacks, and let us live in peace with room service.

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