Digest

Maya Shankar, a cognitive scientist and host of the podcast "A Slight Change of Plans," shares her insights on the concept of identity and its impact on our lives. She argues that we often prematurely commit to an identity, known as "identity foreclosure," which can leave us feeling disoriented when faced with unexpected change. Shankar emphasizes the importance of having multifaceted identities, allowing us to adapt and thrive in the face of life's challenges. She also explores the role of identity in goal setting, suggesting that framing goals as "do behaviors" rather than "don't behaviors" can be more motivating. Shankar further discusses the concept of "moral reframing," a communication technique that can help bridge divides and foster understanding in conversations with those we disagree with. She highlights the importance of empathy and understanding in navigating complex social issues, emphasizing the need for open-mindedness and a willingness to change our minds in the face of new information. Shankar concludes by sharing her personal definition of success, which is to make people feel understood and to foster a sense of connection and compassion.

Outlines

00:00:00

Introduction and Identity Foreclosure

This Chapter introduces Maya Shankar and her work in cognitive science, focusing on the concept of identity foreclosure. Shankar explains how she personally experienced identity foreclosure when a hand injury ended her violin career at age 15, leading her to explore the complexities of identity and change. She discusses how identity foreclosure can occur in adolescence and later in life, often triggered by unexpected events that disrupt our sense of self.

00:01:52

The Power and Limitations of Identity

This Chapter delves into the benefits and drawbacks of anchoring our identity to specific roles, skills, or affiliations. Shankar acknowledges the positive aspects of having a strong identity, such as providing inspiration, focus, and a sense of belonging. However, she cautions against attaching our sense of worth solely to what we do, emphasizing the importance of understanding the underlying values and motivations that drive our passions. She encourages listeners to explore the deeper reasons behind their passions and to find ways to express those values in multiple areas of their lives.

00:18:54

Identity and Group Membership

This Chapter examines the impact of group identity on our beliefs and opinions. Shankar discusses how identifying with a particular group, such as a political party or religious community, can influence our thinking and make us less critical of information that aligns with our group's views. She highlights the importance of humility and a willingness to change our minds in the face of new evidence, arguing that strong tribal membership can hinder our ability to update our perspectives. Shankar emphasizes the need for "wiggle room" within group identities, allowing for diversity of opinion and fostering more productive conversations.

00:23:01

Moral Reframing and Communication

This Chapter explores the concept of "moral reframing" as a communication strategy for bridging divides and fostering understanding. Shankar explains how grounding arguments in moral terms that resonate with the values of those we disagree with can be more effective than simply debunking myths or presenting facts. She provides examples of how this technique can be applied to issues like environmental conservation and public health, emphasizing the importance of understanding the moral frameworks that shape people's beliefs.

00:02:35

The Importance of the Messenger

This Chapter highlights the role of the messenger in conveying information and building trust. Shankar shares her experience working in the Obama White House during the Flint water crisis, where they learned that messages from trusted community members were more effective than those from government authorities. She argues that we need to rethink the assumption that those at the top of government are always the best communicators, emphasizing the importance of building trust and credibility through local and community-based outreach.

00:27:50

Motivational Interviewing and Everyday Conversations

This Chapter focuses on practical strategies for engaging in more productive conversations with those we disagree with. Shankar introduces the concept of "motivational interviewing" or "deep canvassing," a technique used in political campaigns to encourage people to reconsider their views. She emphasizes the importance of genuine curiosity, asking questions rather than making statements, and validating the other person's perspective. Shankar suggests asking people what evidence they would need to change their minds, a question that can open up dialogue and potentially lead to shifts in thinking.

00:32:26

Identity and Goal Setting

This Chapter explores the role of identity in goal setting and how to use it to achieve our aspirations. Shankar discusses the importance of framing goals as "do behaviors" rather than "don't behaviors," as this can be more motivating and easier to track progress. She also introduces the concept of "emergency reserves" in goal setting, suggesting that building in "get out of jail-free cards" can help us stay on track and avoid feeling like we've failed when we inevitably encounter setbacks. Shankar emphasizes the importance of empathy for our future selves, acknowledging that real life will happen and that occasional deviations from our goals are not a threat to our identity.

00:35:33

Myth-Busting and Framing Goals

This Chapter addresses the challenges of myth-busting and the importance of framing goals effectively. Shankar explains why simply debunking myths can sometimes reinforce them, suggesting that we should focus on making affirmative statements about what is true. She also discusses the difference between "approach goals" and "avoiding goals," highlighting the greater motivational power of "do goals." Shankar emphasizes the importance of personal agency in goal setting, suggesting that we are more likely to achieve our goals when we feel like we are the ones setting the targets.

Keywords

Q&A

• What is identity foreclosure and how can it impact our lives?

  Identity foreclosure is the premature commitment to an identity before fully exploring other possibilities. It can leave us feeling disoriented when faced with unexpected change, as we may have built our entire sense of self around a single role or affiliation. For example, someone who identifies solely as a musician might experience identity foreclosure if they are forced to give up their musical career due to an injury or other unforeseen circumstances.

• How can we use identity to help us accomplish our goals?

  We can use identity to help us accomplish our goals by framing them as "do behaviors" rather than "don't behaviors." This can be more motivating and easier to track progress. We can also build in "emergency reserves" into our goal setting process, acknowledging that real life will happen and that we will inevitably encounter setbacks. By having emergency reserves, we can avoid feeling like we've failed when we deviate from our plans and stay on track towards our goals.

• What is moral reframing and how can it be used to foster understanding in conversations?

  Moral reframing is a communication technique that involves grounding arguments in moral terms that resonate with the values of those we disagree with. This approach can be more effective than simply presenting facts or debunking myths, as it allows people to maintain their core beliefs while considering new perspectives. For example, when advocating for environmental conservation, one might appeal to conservative values like patriotism by emphasizing the importance of protecting natural resources for future generations.

• How can we navigate conversations with those we disagree with in a more productive way?

  We can navigate conversations with those we disagree with in a more productive way by practicing genuine curiosity, asking questions rather than making statements, and validating the other person's perspective. We can also ask people what evidence they would need to change their minds, a question that can open up dialogue and potentially lead to shifts in thinking.

• What is the importance of the messenger in conveying information and building trust?

  The messenger plays a crucial role in conveying information and building trust. Messages from trusted community members are often more effective than those from government authorities, especially when there is a history of distrust or skepticism. This highlights the importance of building trust and credibility through local and community-based outreach.

• What is temptation bundling and how can it help us stay motivated?

  Temptation bundling is a motivational technique that involves pairing a desirable task with an undesirable task. This strategy can help increase motivation by associating a rewarding activity with something that we might otherwise dread. For example, someone might listen to their favorite music while exercising or watch a TV show while folding laundry. The key to temptation bundling is to actively deny ourselves the rewarding activity in other contexts, making it feel more special and motivating.

• What is the empathy gap and how can we overcome it?

  The empathy gap is the tendency to underestimate the influence of our future selves on our current decisions. This can lead to setting unrealistic goals or making choices that we later regret. By acknowledging the empathy gap, we can set more realistic goals and develop strategies for staying on track. For example, we can build in "emergency reserves" into our goal setting process, acknowledging that real life will happen and that we will inevitably encounter setbacks.

• What is the role of choice architecture in influencing our decisions?

  Choice architecture is the design of environments and systems that influence people's choices. This concept emphasizes the importance of creating environments that make it easier for people to make healthy or desirable choices. For example, placing healthy food options at eye level in a cafeteria can encourage people to choose them over less healthy options.

• What is the goal gradient effect and how can it help us stay motivated?

  The goal gradient effect is the tendency for motivation to increase as we get closer to achieving a goal. This effect can be helpful in maintaining motivation during the middle stages of goal pursuit, when we might be tempted to give up. By breaking down large goals into smaller steps, we can experience the goal gradient effect more frequently and stay motivated.

• What are emergency reserves and how can they help us achieve our goals?

  Emergency reserves are "get out of jail-free cards" that we build into our goal setting process. This strategy acknowledges that real life will happen and that we will inevitably encounter setbacks. By having emergency reserves, we can avoid feeling like we've failed when we deviate from our plans and stay on track towards our goals.

Show Notes