DiscoverCAPS LOCK22. How to Stop Being a Control Freak
22. How to Stop Being a Control Freak

22. How to Stop Being a Control Freak

Update: 2025-04-27
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In this episode, Sam...admits she has a problem lol. She explores the root causes of her need for control (which borders on unhealthy)—why we crave it, why it's hard to let go, why we have to, and how to release it. Lots of storytimes in this episode, so if you want to hear about the Cosmo days—this one's for you.


Listen to this episode if you have trouble letting go, if you're the reservations friend who freaks out when someone suggests a walk-in, or if you become insufferable the second you stray from your timestamped itinerary on a vacation.


Key moments:

00:37 Sam’s control freak revelation

05:50 Signs you might be a control freak (and it might be affecting your life)

06:22 Are you a micromanager? Plus a Cosmo storytime lol

09:18 If you have difficulty delegating…

10:14 People who always need to be right (and give unsolicited advice)

10:59 Spoiler alert: if you’re a control freak, you probably aren’t a good team player

11:35 Click here if you’re a “fixer” in relationships

12:06 If minor speed bumps send you into a tailspin (or make you insufferable to be around)…

12:46 Unrealistic expectations of commitment to plans

14:15 Validation and approval from other people

14:54 Do you hate change and rely heavily on routines?

15:14 If you feel excessive guilt or responsibility when things don’t go affording to plan…even if it’s outside of your control

16:59 What you can vs. what you can’t control

17:43 What will happen if you don’t release control

18:20 Unearthing the root cause of your need for control

19:13 Early childhood experiences that might lead to an obsession with control in adulthood

21:26 Identifying your triggers

23:37 Identifying and challenging your limiting beliefs

26:14 A quote that altered my brain chemistry

27:54 My therapist absolutely ate with this one

29:39 How to build your mindset (an ongoing practice)

31:52 You can do hard things

32:52 Learning to trust other people

36:12 Refocusing on your priorities

38:42 Sam’s favorite strategies for creating space when her inner control freak gets triggered

41:45 Upcoming episode topics


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Thanks for listening! New episodes are released every Sunday at 8 AM ET, so if you liked this episode, subscribe or follow to get notified about the next one. And please leave me a rating or review, so I can continue to improve the show. Talk soon!


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Threads: www.threads.net/@lifeincapslock


Resources for this episode can be found here.

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22. How to Stop Being a Control Freak

22. How to Stop Being a Control Freak

Samantha Feher