229 // Applying Our Four Pillars: Connection, Being Present, Unconditional Love, & Healthy Boundaries

When we first started Find the Magic, we realized through research and experience that many of the strategies and ideas we found in books boiled down to four pillars: Connection, Being Present, Unconditional Love, & Healthy Boundaries. We labeled these pillars because they figuratively hold up the loving, kind, respectful homes we are striving to cultivate. We have found that if you are seeing behavioral issues with children or a lack of peace within yourself, these pillars can serve to help you recalibrate. In this episode we discuss how to ACTUALLY apply and do these four pillars. 

Time Stamps

10:00 - What are the Four Pillars?

11:09 - When our kids openly disobey

13:32 - The stories we tell ourselves are important and shape our responses

16:08 - Wholehearted parenting leads to kids who honor their own and others emotions

20:07 - How do you “make” a child do something?

21:51 - Pillar #1: The importance of connection 

24:10 - Connect in the moment by acknowledging emotion and truly seeing them

25:58 - Physical touch is a meaningful way to connect in the moment

28:50 - Child Whisperer – type 3 energy

32:10 - Preventative connection - acknowledging when kids are behaving well, holding hands, etc.

33:22 - Caregiving tasks ARE connection times

35:23 - Pillar # 2: Being present

37:00 - Wholehearted attention some of the time is WAY better than half-hearted attention always

38:20 - See the present moment as the main event rather than the precursor

41:26 - In yoga the transition to the posture is the posture

43:05 - Mantra for being present is “Here I am.”

45:00 - A human need is to be witnessed

47:27 - Pillar #3: Unconditional Love

50:00 - What does love look like when I misbehave?

54:07 - Pillar #4: Healthy Boundaries

55:05 - Hold boundaries early

1:00:00 - Maintain boundaries for yourself - take time to refuel

Related episodes

Four Pillars of Wholehearted Parenting We Apply to Any Problem

223 // The Power of Being Present NOW

HOW TO Reconnect with Life, Your Marriage and Your Kids / Deep Dive into Connection

Let Your Phone Be a Tool Not Your Master: Screen Detox Tips and Boundaries for Real Life

183 // Putting Our Attention on the Beautiful Call of Our Lives with Johann Hari’s Stolen Focus

Curbing Your Screen Attachment

How to WAKE UP to Your Life

Links & Books Mentioned

Blue spaces: why time spent near water is the secret of happiness

Good Inside // Dr. Becky Kennedy

Sponsor:

GABB WIRELESS

We LOVE devices that help our kids stay safe and be able to adventure while still being able to contact us safely and allow us to know where they are without being the kind of technology that steals their mental health and attention. Gabb wireless is an incredible company that we FULLY endorse for just that. Go to https://gabbwireless.com and use code FINDTHEMAGIC to get $50 off any device!

Thank you for the kind reviews! We appreciate them so much. Here is how to leave a review for us  on iTunes:

Open Find the Magic in the podcast app  

Scroll to the bottom of the page

Click on write a review

Tap the stars to rate us and then write us some feedback:)

Review of the week:

I am a busy mom of 4 (7 yo and under) and Find the Magic is something that I do for myself. I connect with these women SO well and they make me feel like I’m doing the best job, even when I feel like I’m not. Thank you ladies for being here for us mothers. ♥️