342: The Secret Formula to Being a Successful Negotiator-Ambition + Empathy with John Lowry
Update: 2025-10-30
Description
In today's episode, Heather sits down with John Lowry, lawyer, negotiation coach, and author of Negotiation Made Simple, to uncover what it really takes to become a confident, effective negotiator.
John's experience as a professor at Pepperdine University's renowned Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution, CEO of The Lowry Group, and consultant to major organizations gives him a unique lens into the psychology and strategy behind every great deal.
Together, Heather and John explore how mastering negotiation isn't just about tactics; it's about managing yourself, understanding others, and learning to balance ambition with empathy.
In this episode, you'll learn:
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The Inner Negotiation – Why the first and most important negotiation happens inside your own mind and how managing your emotions, fears, and self-talk determines your success.
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Cooperation vs. Competition – How to know when to lean into collaboration and when to assert your position with strength and clarity.
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The Power of Patience – Why "you often pay for the time you save" and how slowing down the process helps you make better, more strategic decisions.
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Axelrod's Four Steps to Effective Negotiation – Start cooperatively, respond in kind, forgive, and be clear. John and Heather unpack how these steps build trust and drive results.
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The Ambition + Empathy Equation – What Harvard research reveals about top dealmakers and how combining drive with understanding gives you a competitive edge.
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Real-World Lessons – Insights from John's work with executives, mediators, and organizations on how to use negotiation to build healthier relationships and stronger outcomes.
In this episode:
[00:00 ] Meet John Lowry – Lawyer, author, and negotiation expert
[02:46 ] The first negotiation: managing yourself
[06:17 ] When to cooperate and when to compete
[10:47 ] Getting comfortable with uncertainty
[14:49 ] Why patience pays in negotiation
[18:00 ] Recognizing signals vs. words
[22:14 ] Forgiveness and cooperation in business
[26:29 ] Collaboration vs. cooperation explained
[31:12 ] Building trust through clarity
[35:20 ] Ambition and empathy, the twin pillars of great dealmakers
Resources & Links:
📘 Book: Negotiation Made Simple by John Lowry
🎙️ Podcast: Negotiation Made Simple Podcast
🌐 The Lowry Group: lowrygroup.net
Connect with Heather:
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Heather's TikTok
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heather@elegantwarrior.com
The Elegant Warrior Podcast and content posted by Heather Hansen is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast or website is at the user's own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions.
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