This week we’re recording from Shorty’s Barbershop in Hackney to mark World Mental Health Day - so naturally we end up talking about everything from disastrous childhood haircuts to modern dating etiquette and the surprising durability of hairpieces.

Denis relives the agony of barbers who never listened (“leave it long on top” apparently meant nothing), school photos ruined by DIY fringe disasters, and the horror of seeing your own head from all angles on CCTV. Mark opens up about the rumours that he was secretly wearing a wig.

We also cover:

• the man with the perfect, unshakeable hairpiece
• tablets that make your hair grow back (not medical advice, babes)
• Mark's rom-com-level Soho “affair” at the corner of a sex shop
• why messaging for weeks is hell - just go on the date
• the tiny chit-chat after sex that ruins the moment
• Denis' accidental marital crisis over four walnuts
• arses on Lidl scanners
• dropping the “perfect version” of yourself
• childhood bowl cuts and page-boy eras
• therapy and all our feelings

Hit Follow — your Internet Boyfriends are freshly trimmed and oversharing again.

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