DiscoverCAPS LOCK41. Sex Therapist Vanessa Marin: How to Boost Libido, Talk About Sex, and Actually Finish
41. Sex Therapist Vanessa Marin: How to Boost Libido, Talk About Sex, and Actually Finish

41. Sex Therapist Vanessa Marin: How to Boost Libido, Talk About Sex, and Actually Finish

Update: 2025-09-07
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In this episode, Sam sits down with sex therapist Vanessa Marin to answer your biggest questions about sex. Why do I have low (or no) sex drive? How can I fix it? How do I initiate sex without feeling embarrassed? How do we keep the spark alive after all this time? After marriage? After kids? And the big one: Why can't I finish, and how do I achieve orgasm?




Listen to this episode if your sex life could use a boost, if you want to prevent your sex life from fizzling out, or if you want to learn some tips and tricks from a sex expert who gets it.




Key moments:


00:00:35 Guest introduction


00:02:21 The crazy story of why Vanessa became a sex therapist (she was 11 lol)


00:05:33 Proactively working on your relationship inside AND outside the bedroom


00:06:50 “Effortless” sex


00:07:55 Vanessa’s approach to couples sex therapy


00:8:29 Do you need to have sex to feel connected? Or feel connected to have sex?


00:10:27 The single most important characteristic of your sex life


00:12:46 How to NOT let your sex life fizzle out (preventative steps)


00:13:06 The #1 way to keep your sex life healthy


00:15:01 The 3 places intimacy issues start


00:18:45 How to boost your libido when you have low (or no) sex drive


00:19:49 Hot take: desire is overrated


00:21:38 The 2 different types of sex drive (WOMEN PAY ATTENTION!)


00:22:34 85% of women need THIS to get turned on


00:23:51 Having a different sex drive than your partner (SUSHI LOL)


00:25:50 Meeting your partner’s libido and getting on the same page


00:28:33 The best way to communicate that you’re not interested in sex after your partner initiates


00:31:57 How to keep the spark alive instead of slipping into “roommates”


00:33:50 Scheduling sex???


00:39:36 This is when most couples’ sex lives start fizzling out


00:41:35 How to refresh your sex life in a long-term relationship


00:44:52 One tiny (easy) thing you can do to excite your partner


00:45:09 How to initiate sex with your partner in a way that doesn’t feel embarrassing


00:45:54 The 2 most important things about initiating sex with your partner


00:49:13 Okay, let’s talk about the actual sex


00:49:29 HOW TO ORGASM, FOR WOMEN


00:50:55 Women/men same


00:54:58 91% of women said intercourse isn’t the most pleasurable sexual activity


00:55:25 How to speak up about what you want during sex


00:57:46 Sex rapid fire Q+A!


00:58:22 Most overrated sex position


00:58:52 Most underrated sex advice


00:59:36 The unsexiest thing that improves your sex life


00:59:53 The sex position everyone should try at least once


01:00:28 The sex misconception that needs to go away forever


01:00:47 The #1 mood killer


01:01:33 What every woman needs to know about sex




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41. Sex Therapist Vanessa Marin: How to Boost Libido, Talk About Sex, and Actually Finish

41. Sex Therapist Vanessa Marin: How to Boost Libido, Talk About Sex, and Actually Finish

Samantha Feher