41. Sex Therapist Vanessa Marin: How to Boost Libido, Talk About Sex, and Actually Finish
Description
In this episode, Sam sits down with sex therapist Vanessa Marin to answer your biggest questions about sex. Why do I have low (or no) sex drive? How can I fix it? How do I initiate sex without feeling embarrassed? How do we keep the spark alive after all this time? After marriage? After kids? And the big one: Why can't I finish, and how do I achieve orgasm?
Listen to this episode if your sex life could use a boost, if you want to prevent your sex life from fizzling out, or if you want to learn some tips and tricks from a sex expert who gets it.
Key moments:
00:00:35 Guest introduction
00:02:21 The crazy story of why Vanessa became a sex therapist (she was 11 lol)
00:05:33 Proactively working on your relationship inside AND outside the bedroom
00:06:50 “Effortless” sex
00:07:55 Vanessa’s approach to couples sex therapy
00:8:29 Do you need to have sex to feel connected? Or feel connected to have sex?
00:10:27 The single most important characteristic of your sex life
00:12:46 How to NOT let your sex life fizzle out (preventative steps)
00:13:06 The #1 way to keep your sex life healthy
00:15:01 The 3 places intimacy issues start
00:18:45 How to boost your libido when you have low (or no) sex drive
00:19:49 Hot take: desire is overrated
00:21:38 The 2 different types of sex drive (WOMEN PAY ATTENTION!)
00:22:34 85% of women need THIS to get turned on
00:23:51 Having a different sex drive than your partner (SUSHI LOL)
00:25:50 Meeting your partner’s libido and getting on the same page
00:28:33 The best way to communicate that you’re not interested in sex after your partner initiates
00:31:57 How to keep the spark alive instead of slipping into “roommates”
00:33:50 Scheduling sex???
00:39:36 This is when most couples’ sex lives start fizzling out
00:41:35 How to refresh your sex life in a long-term relationship
00:44:52 One tiny (easy) thing you can do to excite your partner
00:45:09 How to initiate sex with your partner in a way that doesn’t feel embarrassing
00:45:54 The 2 most important things about initiating sex with your partner
00:49:13 Okay, let’s talk about the actual sex
00:49:29 HOW TO ORGASM, FOR WOMEN
00:50:55 Women/men same
00:54:58 91% of women said intercourse isn’t the most pleasurable sexual activity
00:55:25 How to speak up about what you want during sex
00:57:46 Sex rapid fire Q+A!
00:58:22 Most overrated sex position
00:58:52 Most underrated sex advice
00:59:36 The unsexiest thing that improves your sex life
00:59:53 The sex position everyone should try at least once
01:00:28 The sex misconception that needs to go away forever
01:00:47 The #1 mood killer
01:01:33 What every woman needs to know about sex
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