Helen Villiers, psychotherapist and narcissist expert, joins me to unpack the hidden dynamics of narcissism. From love bombing and gaslighting to the trauma bond that keeps victims trapped, we explore why it’s so hard to leave, how narcissists use empathy as a weapon, and the powerful steps to reclaiming your identity and self-worth.

Helen Villiers is a psychotherapist, coach, and author specializing in narcissism, emotional abuse, neurodivergence, and recovery. She is the co-author of the Sunday Times bestseller 'You're Not the Problem: The Impact of Narcissism and Emotional Abuse', hosts the popular podcast 'The Liberation Effect', and has been featured on BBC Radio 4’s Woman’s Hour and in publications including The Independent, The Telegraph, The Mirror, and Hello! Magazine.

Follow Helen:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/helenvilliersma

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@helenvilliersma

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@helenvilliersma

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HelenVilliersMA/

⌚️ TIMESTAMPS

00:00 - Introduction

04:15 - The Most Surprising Thing About Narcissism

05:50 - The Five Core Traits of Narcissism

08:53 - Narcissism: Personality Type, Disorder, or Both?

10:15 - When Self-Absorption Becomes Harmful

10:55 - Love Bombing and Early Red Flags

14:14 - The Science Behind Trauma Bonds

17:00 - Do Narcissists Know What They Are Doing?

18:10 - Do Narcissists Target Empaths?

21:01 - Confidence vs Control: How to Tell the Difference

22:48 - The Narcissistic Abuse Cycle Explained

28:15 - The Emotional Fallout After The Discard

31:06 - The “Gray Rock” Method: How To Escape a Narcissist

32:45 - Rebuilding Identity After Narcissistic Abuse

38:00 - Overcoming the Fear of Being “Selfish”

39:30 - Perfectionism and the Fear of Judgment

45:30 - How Therapy and Community Help Recovery

47:16 - Choosing the Right Therapist (and Avoiding the Wrong One)

50:28 - How to Begin Healing After Narcissistic Abuse

51:58 - How Long Healing Takes (and What It Looks Like)

54:45 - Why People-Pleasing is Toxic

56:35 - Can You Heal Without a Therapist?

59:04 - What a Healthy Relationship Really Looks Like

01:01:15 - Final Message: It’s Not You.

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