Marriage Troubles

"Hi Stef,
"I feel stuck.
"I’m in my early 40s. I’ve been married for 19 years. We have 4 children.
"I chose to marry and give four children to the wrong woman. I am finding it increasingly more difficult to remain married to her.
"My main criticisms with her are she can’t be corrected, can’t feel like she ever did anything wrong, can’t admit fault, and she never apologizes.
"I became more and more avoidant over the years. As I’ve made steps to find myself again it has created more conflict which goes unresolved.
"My last straw occurred when she conspired to pay a waitress to hit on me at my company Christmas party (of the business we own together). After the holidays, I asked for a divorce. However, I ultimately agreed to another attempt at marriage counseling. (We did 7 months in 2020-2021). We have been currently in counseling since February (8 months).
"We have both been seeing individual counselors concurrently with our marriage counseling.
"I have lost hope that things will improve, but don’t know if they are bad enough to justify breaking up my family, particularly while my kids are so young. Hence the feeling of being stuck.
"I listen to enough shows to know that you don’t tell people what to do. But you have an extraordinary gift of talking with people to help them uncover the actions for themselves, which is my hope.
"I’ve also heard you criticize callers for not requesting a call-in show before is too late, so this is my attempt to call you before I do something I can’t undo.
"A little background on me:
"I was born and raised in a Mormon family, the youngest of 7 kids.
"I began dating my wife when we were in college. She was not a Mormon then. She converted after we had been dating for over a year. Shortly there after I left for two years to do an overseas mission for my church. When I returned home, we resume the relationship immediately and things moved very quickly from engagement to marriage. I had reservations about marrying her at the time, but ultimately chose to move forward with it.
"We left the church about five years ago.
"I used to overcome my unhappiness with the idea that the frustrations of my life and with my wife would be remedied in an afterlife. However, I no longer believe that there is happiness waiting for me on the other side of death. Happiness is for this life, or never..."

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