Neal proposes a twelve step approach to ET and discusses nine to five life for the shipwrecked, anti-social astronauts, saving on invisible ink, how raisons d’etre work, the truth about gout, a new understanding of you Americans, learning from Orson Welles, modesty on public transport, spitting in the theatre of the mind, why x-ray glasses never took off, a logically unsound Meatloaf track (not that one) debuting rafts, rebranding spaceships in the Elongated Musket era, a real doctor’s take on edible paper, mouthwatering tree bark, judging your fictional creations, Identifying with Shithead, a bar asshole by proxy, wasting a cat’s time, cat pants the right way, Let it Be versus Que Sera, and more.

CORRECTIONS AND CLARIFICATIONS: Tom Hanks was in fact talking to a football on a stick.

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