In this powerful conversation, Life Coach Jelan Agnew, LCSW shares how ICU-level burnout during 2020 became her wake-up call to design life on purpose. She walks us through the mindset shifts that took her from overachievement and overload to presence, sobriety, and self-permission—ultimately moving to Mexico and reshaping her work from one-to-one therapy into coaching, workshops, and speaking. We unpack her "empty notebook" and baseline frameworks, why perfection is just avoidance in a cute outfit, and how focusing on feelings first (not the resume or the how) opens unexpected doors.

What you'll learn

• Baseline > Busyness: How to stop the thousand‑miles‑per‑hour train and rediscover what you actually like, need, and value now.

• Empty Notebook Method: Starting fresh—without old labels—to write the next chapter of your life.

• From Therapy to Coaching: Reframing impact: serving more people through workshops and speaking while protecting your well‑being.

• Feelings First: Why we chase titles/things for the feeling—and how to design from the feeling instead.

• Perfection = Avoidance: Giving yourself permission to be clumsy, new, and vulnerable.

• Sobriety & Mindfulness: Removing substances to find your emotional baseline and practicing presence to notice what truly fits.

• Permission Slips: The power of support (shoutout to therapy) and learning to give permission to yourself.

• Red‑Jeep Phenomenon: Put awareness on what you want and watch the signals appear.

Conversation highlights (guide, no spoilers)

• Why both of us moved to Playa del Carmen—and how geography can catalyze growth

• Jelan's ICU wake‑up call, burnout in 2020, and choosing a different way

• Baseline vs. busy: stopping the train and meeting yourself in the present

• The guilt of leaving a long career—and reframing impact

• Mindfulness, sobriety, and rebuilding identity

• Feeling over formulas: designing for joy, freedom, safety, and community

• Perfection as avoidance; being willing to be "clumsy on purpose"

• Self‑permission and the role of a great therapist in big moves

Memorable quotes

"I can help people, and it doesn't have to be at the expense of myself." — Jelan Agnew

"Perfection is avoidance." — Jelan Agnew

"You have the option to make a choice before you get sat down." — Jelan Agnew

"Create the version of me that does that." — Jelan Agnew

"The how is none of your business." — Jelan Agnew

Try this: Listener challenge

Grab an empty notebook (or open Notes) and complete these:

1. I want to feel… (one sentence)

2. Where do I already feel that today? (list 2–3 moments)

3. What micro‑ritual amplifies it this week? (one action—breath, rest, or presence)

Bonus: For the next 7 days, put your awareness on this desire (hello, red‑Jeep effect) and notice what people, ideas, or invitations show up.

Resources & mentions

• Click here for Jelan's TED Talk (on mental health in the Black community)

• Book: The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron

• Book: The War of Art by Steven Pressfield

(We'll add direct links on the episode page.)

Connect with Jelan

• Website: https://www.nalejofselfllc.com/

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nalejofself

Connect with Elayne

• Instagram: @elaynefluker

• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/elaynefluker/  
• Website: elaynefluker.com

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