It is a challenging time of year for those with neglect and incident trauma histories. The winter holidays of any denomination may be fraught with family memories of all kinds...disappointment, feeling outcast or different, or more traumatic episodes.

In the US it is a time of great commotion, consumerism, and congestion. Pressure to have happy families to have happy celebrations with, lots of buying and giving and eating...these pressures on top of already existing difficulties.

It is not fitting with the "Norman Rockwell" idyllic image of a harmonious, white, nuclear family with a beautiful tree and lots of presents. All this may result in feelings of shame, envy and grief.

Oy vey!

My husband and I choose to feel the whole thing, and head for someplace warm and quiet.

Another insidious experience for many, the now better understood "anniversary reaction" phenomenon. The body/nervous system seems to have an uncanny additional sense or calendar where it registers the approach of a fraught time of trauma. One's reactivity seems to ramp up for no apparent reason.

If you find yourself feeling more reactive, irritable or out of sorts at this time of year, you are not alone.

That is our topic this week.

Do take heart. As ever, the more trauma processing we do, the easier things get over time.