Have you ever accepted less than you deserved — not because you lacked ability, but because you didn’t fully see your own value?

And later realised it wasn’t just about the job… it was about self-worth?

WHAT THIS EPISODE WILL GIVE YOU

In today’s episode, we’re talking about how father wounds and unhealed trauma can quietly shape the standards we accept — at work, in relationships, and in life.

If you’ve ever:

* undercharged

* over-tolerated

* stayed too long out of fear

* accepted mistreatment to “keep the peace”

* or felt grateful just to be chosen

This episode will help you:

* recognise where trauma may be driving your decisions

* understand the difference between wisdom and fear

* see how father wounds distort self-worth

* and learn how healing changes what you accept, how you negotiate, and how long you stay

ACCEPTING LESS WITHOUT REALISING WHY

Three years ago, I accepted a job where I was paid the minimum amount possible.

Not only that, I actually asked for less than what was offered.

I was pivoting careers, and I evaluated my worth solely based on what I didn’t know yet, instead of recognising how my previous education, skills, and experience made me more valuable in this new role.

I completely discounted myself.

And because I couldn’t see my value:

* I accepted an underpaying role

* I tolerated mistreatment and disrespect

* I became afraid of losing the job

* I stayed longer than I should have

* I got comfortable in an environment meant to be temporary

Eventually, I was let go before I could leave on my own terms and that left me in a more vulnerable position than if I had trusted myself earlier.

At the time, I thought I was being wise.

But looking back, I see how much of that “wisdom” was actually fear.

HOW FATHER WOUNDS AFFECT SELF-WORTH & WHAT WE ACCEPT

Father wounds don’t just affect emotions they shape standards.

If you grew up:

* having to beg for approval

* being made to feel replaceable

* having your contributions minimised

* being financially, emotionally, or verbally controlled

* being taught love was conditional

You may internalise beliefs like:

* I should be grateful for whatever I’m given

* I shouldn’t ask for too much

* I could easily be replaced

* Peace matters more than my dignity

* If I push back, I’ll lose everything

These beliefs don’t stay in childhood.

They follow us into:

* jobs

* relationships

* friendships

* churches

* leadership spaces

And they quietly lower what we believe we’re allowed to ask for.

WISDOM VS FEAR — THEY ARE NOT THE SAME

Yes, there is wisdom in compromise.

Yes, there are seasons where we take stepping-stone opportunities.

Yes, sometimes we endure difficulty for a greater goal.

But wisdom and fear are not the same thing.

Wisdom says:

“I know who I am, and I am choosing this strategically.”

Fear says:

“I don’t believe I have other options.”

Wisdom has boundaries.

Fear tolerates mistreatment.

Wisdom has timelines.

Fear overstays.

Wisdom negotiates.

Fear under-asks.

HOW HEALING CHANGES THE WAY WE APPROACH LIFE

If I had been healed and whole at the time:

* I may not have accepted that role at all

* or I would have negotiated differently

* I would not have tolerated certain behaviours

* I would not have stayed out of fear

* I would have trusted myself to leave

Healing doesn’t mean we never face hard situations.

It means:

* we enter them with clarity

* we don’t abandon ourselves inside them

* we don’t confuse survival with loyalty

* we don’t shrink to stay safe

THIS ISN’T JUST ABOUT JOBS

This pattern applies everywhere.

When we are unhealed, we:

* accept inconsistent love

* excuse disrespect

* stay in environments that drain us

* settle for less than we deserve

* mistake endurance for character

Healing restores vision.

You begin to see:

* your worth

* your authority

* your agency

* your God-given value

And with that vision comes better choices.

BIBLICAL PERSPECTIVE

“You are not your own; you were bought at a price.” — 1 Corinthians 6:19 –20

Your value is not determined by an employer, a partner, or a father figure.

It was set by God.

“Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord.” — 2 Corinthians 10:17

Healing teaches us to anchor our worth in God — not in fear, scarcity, or approval.

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind.” — 2 Timothy 1:7

A sound mind does not undercut itself.

A sound mind does not beg for crumbs.

A sound mind knows when to stay and when to leave.

REFLECTION / JOURNAL PROMPTS

* Where have I accepted less than I deserved and why?

* Was I being wise… or was I afraid?

* What beliefs about my worth did I learn from my father or father figure?

* How has healing already changed what I tolerate?

* What would it look like to approach opportunities with confidence rather than fear?

AFFIRMATION

“I know my worth.

I do not need to beg for what God has already assigned to me.

I choose wisdom, not fear.

I trust myself to walk away when necessary.”

KEY VERSE

“The Lord will perfect that which concerns me.” — Psalm 138:8

God is invested in your growth — not your diminishment.

CLOSING ENCOURAGEMENT

Healing doesn’t just change how we feel.

It changes what we accept.

And when father wounds are addressed, we stop negotiating against ourselves.

You were never meant to shrink to survive.

You were meant to stand: whole, confident, and aware of your value.

And as you heal, your standards will rise, not because you’re arrogant,

but because you finally see yourself the way God always has.

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