We all need to build more self-forgiveness into our lives.

This topic is a pathway to greater strength, not weakness, and I’ll explain why. Not everyone needs a psychoanalytic intervention here, but almost every person I know, and who you know, I’m guessing, could benefit from taking a minute to consider how minor acts of self-forgiveness — some people prefer the term self-compassion — can make them stronger in life’s all-important second half.

It’s so easy to just continue to be too hard on yourself.

Two kinds of self-forgiveness

* Tier 1 self-forgiveness addresses either profound, deep-rooted feelings like inadequacy, unlovability or trauma that go back to childhood, or more contemporary shame and guilt for something we’ve done to someone else.

* Tier 2 self-forgiveness is caused by routine daily mistakes

Self-forgiveness arises from the cognitive dissonance we experience when our actions don’t reflect our beliefs.

Actions that build self-compassion

* Admit your major failures. If you’ve wronged someone else, acknowledge that to them, apologize and explain why it won’t happen again. You won’t forgive yourself until you ask the other person to.

* Be kind to yourself. Treat yourself with the respect you would give a loved one.

* Recognize what you’ve done well. Take the time and words, if only spoken to yourself, to celebrate your achievements.

* Practice regular self-care through what makes you feel well: exercise, time in nature, getting a massage or watching the big playoff game; whatever brings you joy.

Aging with emotional strength is harder than it seems. But it’s worth the effort. I’ll leave you with these six very good questions we should all be asking ourselves, courtesy of Helen Marie on Substack:

What kind of life am I quietly dreaming of?

What are the small joys that are holding me together?

How can I return to what matters most?

Who are my people & how do I nourish them?

What stories am I ready to stop living out?

How can I let myself be more fully alive?

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.agingwithstrength.com/subscribe