In this episode of the Anglotopia podcast, host Jonathan Thomas welcomes Amanda Graves, a British expat who shares her unique experiences of living in America since 1985. Amanda discusses her family's distinguished background, her mother's recent MBE award, and the cultural differences she has navigated as an expat. From the royal experience of receiving an MBE to the nuances of food and tea culture, Amanda provides insights into the British-American cultural divide. She reflects on her journey from Massachusetts to Texas, the evolution of dinner parties to potlucks, and the complexities of tea terminology. This conversation offers a rich exploration of identity, culture, and the expat experience.

Links

• Spilling the Tea





• NEW COLUMN! Spilling the Tea: The Great US/UK Fruitcake Divide





• Legacy: One family, a cup of tea, and the company that took on the world





• J. Lyons and Co History





• Lewis's of Liverpool department store history





• Order of the British Empire

Takeaways

• Amanda's mother received an MBE for her charitable work.





• Amanda comes from a distinguished British commercial family.





• The royal investiture ceremony was a proud moment for Amanda.





• Cultural differences between British and American life are significant.





• The transition from Massachusetts to Texas presented new challenges.





• Food culture in America differs greatly from British traditions.





• Potluck culture is prevalent in America compared to formal dinner parties.





• Tea culture in the UK is complex and often misunderstood by Americans.





• Amanda's experience on Jeopardy was both surreal and rewarding.





• The importance of community and neighborliness in American culture.

Sound Bites

1. On American vs. British confidence culture: "One of the things that really impressed me was how self-confident Americans were and are because I had come from the UK where they have a phrase... called tall poppy syndrome. So tall poppy syndrome means don't stick your head up too high because you don't want to bring attention to yourself."





2. On the family tea empire: "The name Lyons was borrowed from a cousin because the family was already successful in another business and they didn't want to use their names to go into this new venture... So they borrowed the name of one of their cousins, which was Joe Lyons."





3. On British boarding school reality: "I went away at the age of 10. My brother was sent away to prep school... at eight to a boarding school, which he said he would not do to his children. And so his children didn't go to boarding school until they were 13."





4. On American fruitcake disappointment: "It's because this is the only fruitcake that you know. You don't know the stuff that's full of alcohol and really delicious and takes three months to sort of mature before you even bake the thing."





5. On her Nigella Lawson connection: "Nigella's probably a second or third cousin... my father and her mother were very close growing up... I did get invited to her 21st birthday party, which I sadly couldn't go to because I just have my wisdom teeth out."





6. On meeting Princess Anne: "She asked my mother about something that she had done in the 1970s and my mother went 'I didn't even remember I'd done that. How did you know about that?' And she said 'well you've covered a lot of ground.'"





7. On the dinner party culture shift: "I came over here and I started inviting my husband's colleagues over to dinner and they would... always phone and ask, what can I bring? And I'd say, don't bring anything... I didn't understand it."





8. On American neighborliness shock: "The fact that neighbours came over and knocked on my door. I mean, we just didn't do that in England... I lived for a year in a part of Bristol. We never met our neighbors. It just would never occurred to us to go and say hello to them."





9. On tea terminology confusion: "If somebody sends me an invitation and says, come for high tea at four o'clock... I know that's not what that means. It doesn't mean I'm going to be having beans on toast. It means they're going to be serving afternoon tea."





10. On Jeopardy success rates: "I looked up the acceptance rate and it's 0.2% that actually get accepted to be on the show. So I'm very proud that I made it. Sadly, I didn't win, but it was an incredible experience."

Chapters

• 00:00 Introduction to Amanda Graves and Her Background





• 01:52 Growing Up in a Distinguished British Family





• 05:51 Transition to Life in America





• 07:33 Cultural Adjustments and Family Dynamics





• 11:29 Exploring Food Culture and Family Connections





• 15:53 Experiences in British Boarding School





• 20:48 Culture Shock: Moving to Massachusetts





• 24:57 Navigating Life in Texas





• 27:30 The Great Fruitcake Debate





• 30:40 Dinner Parties vs. Potlucks





• 34:56 Understanding Tea Culture





• 37:05 Honoring a Legacy: The MBE Experience





• 40:41 A Journey to Jeopardy: Trials and Triumphs





• 45:28 anglotopia-podcast-outro.mp4

Video Version