Are we about to make first contact… or have aliens left us on hold for the last 50,000 years with a playlist titled “Symphony for Quasar and Dark Matter in B-flat Minor”?

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This week, we uncover the universe’s most sophisticated hold music, decode messages about our planet’s extended warranty, and ask the big question: are we alone, or just really bad at cosmic customer service?

Prepare for bureaucratic black holes, mathematically perfect false positives, and the creeping suspicion that the cosmos might be screening our calls.

https://multiverseemployeehandbook.com

AI Transparency: In a universe of AI-generated content, we believe in being transparent about what's human and what's not. Your time is valuable, and you deserve to know what you're experiencing. The narrator, David, is a professional voice actor who has digitized his voice through ElevenLabs' voice cloning technology and is fairly compensated for his vocal performance. Thumbnails are created with OpenAI, and music/sound effects come from Pixabay (which are generated by human artists - not AI). Everything else-the writing, jokes, research, sound editing, and interdimensional coffee consumption, is 100% human-made by a human.