: BW 167: When Grief Days Get Hard: The 3-R Bad Day Protocol (Regulate • Relate • Reengage)

What to do when a hard day (or season) won’t let up — Emily’s 3-R Bad Day Protocol: Regulate, Relate, Reengage.

If you’re tired of feeling like you “went backwards,” this episode gives you a gentle, doable plan for the worst days — plus how to move through a longer season of suffering without burning out.

Key Takeaways 

•  A hard grief day doesn’t mean you’re back at square one; it’s part of the process.


•  Don’t aim for “happy now.” Aim for grounded, peaceful, purposeful.


•  On hard days, do less; regulate first, relate second, reengage last.


•  In extended suffering, use a broader blueprint (help, healing, routine, movement, faith).

Chapters: 

0:00 — Announcements: Free Four Seasons of Grief live training (Wed, Sept 10) + Grief Recovery Method group (Tuesdays, 12–2 pm CT, Sept 30–Nov 18; $400 creditable toward Academy or 1:1).

2:30 — Farm-life update: the donkeys! The “messy middle” analogy.

5:00 — Why healing looks worse before it looks better (closet/brush-clearing analogy).

6:30 — When milestones, dates, and “the body remembers” make life heavy.

10:00 — We’re not chasing “happy”; we’re building capacity for multiple emotions + grounded peace.

12:00 — Why many widows get stuck between Isolation (Season 2) and Self-Discovery (Season 3).

14:00 — The 3-R Bad Day Protocol: 

1. Regulate your body (slow down, do less, food/sunlight/rest).


2. Relate (reach out; be witnessed, not fixed).


3. Reengage (one tiny thing: shower, pay one bill, sit in the sun).

20:00 — If it’s not a “bad day” but a season of suffering: switch to a fuller framework.

24:00 — The Chaos to Calm Blueprint: help, emotional healing, routine, movement, spiritual connection.

27:00 — A soft place to land + your next brave step.

✨ Work with Emily: Ready to stop just surviving and start rebuilding? Book a free consult at bravewidow.com.

📌 Subscribe & Stay Connected

👍 Like this video if it helped you

🎧 Subscribe for more stories and strategies for life after loss.

💬 Leave a comment if this story resonates with you or if you want to share your own experience.
📩 Share it with someone who needs encouragement

Ready for more support? 

Book a free consult here: https://calendly.com/bravewidow/widow-consult-call

Download the Brave New Widow Starter Kit: A free guide to help you navigate the first steps of widowhood. → https://bravewidow.com/start

Free Training: Four Seasons of Grief — Wed, Sept 10 (replay available).

Grief Recovery Method Group: Tuesdays 12–2 pm CT, Sept 30–Nov 18, $400 (credited toward Brave Widow Academy or 1:1).

Brave Widow Academy: Next cohort starts in November.

I’m Emily Tanner.  I was widowed at age 37, one month shy of our 20 year wedding anniversary.  Nathan and I have four beautiful children together, and my world was turned completely upside down when I lost him.  

Now, I love my life again!  I’m able to experience joy, achieve goals and dreams I thought I’d lost, and rediscover this next version of me.

I did the work.

I invested in coaching for myself.

I learned what I needed to do to move forward and took the steps.

I implemented the tools and strategies that I use for my clients in my coaching program.

This is for you, if:

•  You want a faith-based approach to coaching


•  You want to move forward after loss, and aren’t sure how


•  You want to enjoy life without feeling weighed down by guilt, sadness, or regret


•  You want a guide to help navigate this journey to the next version of you


•  You want to rediscover who you are

•  Schedule a consult with Emily:  https://calendly.com/bravewidow/widow-consult-call?month=2024-08 

Find and take the next steps to move forward (without “moving on”).

FOLLOW me on SOCIAL:

Twitter | @brave_widow

Instagram | @brave_widow

Facebook |   / bravewidow  

YouTube | @bravewidow