It's still June 6th 2020. It's still well over midnight and I'm sitting in my van, praying that someone would finally come to open the door. So as I sit and reminisce on the good things that life brings, I refuse not to complain. Just brainstorming and sharing my moment in truth. I realize long time ago that I'm a people's person. Something my father always told me when dealing with people you'll always be disappointed especially if you depend on them or even have expectations of them. You'll always find yourself being disappointed. So I learned the hard way about being attached to people. I didn't realize that I was attaching myself to them in all actuality I was which left me disappointed at the end of the day. It left me with some hurt that cause a little pain, in which I allowed to succumb me. I just remember my mother always telling me and reminding me because she knew how big my heart was or how big it is. My mother always told me, not to ever expect back in return what I've given to someone else. Meaning don't expect for people to give you with you giving them in return. Your blessings will always come from God, not from those who you necessarily give to. Don't look for your blessings and people. God will place those in your life who will bless you, you don't have to look for them. God will place those necessary in your life. Your blessings come from God, always look to him. So throughout my life I've not looked for my blessings in return from anyone in the flesh. However, we in the flesh can take the people around us for granted. I've been there, I've done it, and it has been done to me. So who could I be mad at right now? What I do know, and have been told, as I've been worn before! What you put into this universe, will very much come back around to you! Over the years with both my parents gone, I had to reflect numerous of times, many days many weeks and months throughout all the years of my life, back on what they taught me showed me and told me because when I say they touched on every aspect of my life and which I've gone through while they were alive and now that they are even gone; I have no more of that now. Times have changed so much I can barely find anyone else like them around in today's time. So all I have left too look to and up to and depend on is God. For those who have been raised by their mother father or both parents in the home knows that no one else in this world besides the love of God will love you more than those two a mother and a father. I was very fortunate to have them and I still thank God for them today. And I had to realize that if I was able to let go and let God have them as they are his own. I can let go and let God do his work in my life. I had to get out of my own way trying to please other people that was not always pleasing to God. I had to get out of my own way of blocking my own blessings focusing on the wrong things. It was time to let go of the things that I was connected to because I had become attached. And as I could see things unfolding, I felt the change that was needed coming over me. Accepting the facts that I needed to change. Accepting the fact that I am being My own worst enemy. Accepting the fact that I need to stop and think to love myself more so that I could live a greater life. No one is to blame for what I had to go through. Things of the unimportance of my past was just lingering around because I allowed it. My mother always told me life would catch up with me, till this day my mother has not told me anything wrong or steered me in the wrong direction. When I say mama used to say. My mother told me one day she'd be in heaven smiling down while I have to go through some things. When I tell you my mother is no longer here in the flesh and she still nothing but the truth. In God I trust!