St Valentine was beaten to death with clubs for trying to convert the emperor so we celebrate his death with flowers and chocolates, obvs. You might not believe it, but a strip club can be very romantic. Maybe not for a first date, Travis Bickle, but if you’re lucky enough to VIP with Buffy and Heaven they have tricks to teach you, ways to know you, ideas to improve you and a faith in the outcome of love. Mostly. They’ve also got the usual tales of bodily malfunctions, weird sex fails and the old conundrum – what do you do if you’re naked, covered in baby oil and in a house with no shower? Listen in to find out.

This episode is bought to you by SITA Podcasting Ltd, Hosted by Buffy and Heaven, produced by Stephen Armstrong and Sophie Cohen, edited by Adam Grigg, original soundtrack by Myron Cohen and Hart McNee.

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