Many times as a parent we may see someone else’s parenting style and wondering if we’re doing it wrong.  My guest today, Crystal, argues that that happens only because we see their strengths and pick out or own weaknesses. That comparison can really make moms feel down on themselves.

Sometimes, we just need to figure out what our strengths are instead of overthinking our weaknesses. Parenting isn’t always about being playful and creative all the time.

The way we think creates how we feel, and the way we feel fuels what we do. The path to change is believing something different. There’s no one right way to be human. If we over-focus on the “do” part without addressing the thoughts about why we aren’t connecting with our kids, the negative energy will get in the way even when you are “doing” the right things.

Shame turns to blame in less than a second. Self-confidence is a muscle that we build, and we have to work on it intentionally.

Positive affirmations can work if you already mostly believe them. If your mind is shouting about how they’re wrong, it’s not going to work.  

That’s why Crystal developed her “Negative De-affirmations.” 

1. Write down what you want to believe. Choose a few to work on at a time.
2. On the other side of the paper, allow your brain to answer what you really believe now.
3. Work through the negatives. Are they really true? Do they actually make you a horrible mom? Poke holes in them and you’ll move to your more positive beliefs a lot more smoothly.

Connect with Crystal on her website, where you can find all her links and free Parenting Personality Quiz. https://www.coachcrystal.ca/links

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Remember - take a deep breath. You do matter. You're doing a great job.

Music credit: Sky Running by Tanager Kid

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