Episode 70: Broad on a Couch

This week’s prompts: 1717, Arena, Titian Red

Neal and Lauren kick off the post–Thanksgiving stretch with an episode powered by heating pads, sunglasses, and sheer stubbornness. Neal shows up bundled in a hood, nursing shoulder pain and a barometric-pressure headache, while Lauren juggles the last week of classes, giant waitlists, and adjunct life.

Neal takes “Arena” (and a little bit of “Titian Red”) straight into The Running Man (1987), the gaudy, neon-drenched Arnold Schwarzenegger cult classic loosely based on Stephen King’s Richard Bachman novel. He breaks down how the original bleak, globe-spanning manhunt of the book got reshaped into a gladiatorial TV deathmatch; why King refused to have his real name on the movie; and how the film swaps an everyman desperate to save his sick daughter for an ultra-jacked, framed helicopter pilot with an endless supply of one-liners. From American Gladiators–style stalkers (Fireball! Sub-Zero! Dynamo in a light-up diaper!) to Richard Dawson’s inspired turn as sadistic game show host Damon Killian, Neal unpacks the casting, the chaotic production history (multiple directors, Starsky-as-director Paul Michael Glaser, and hurt feelings from Arnold), and the bizarrely prescient “deepfake” climax that confused 1980s audiences. He also looks ahead to Edgar Wright’s new, more book-faithful adaptation starring Glenn Powell — complete with a blessing from Arnold himself.

Meanwhile, Lauren grabs “Titian Red” and delivers a lush, art-historical love letter to Titian, the 16th-century Venetian master whose women, fabrics, and hair basically rewired Western painting. She traces his path from Bellini workshop kid to international court painter for dukes, popes, and emperors; explains how his portrait Man with a Quilted Sleeve inspired Rembrandt; and then settles into a sensual close-reading of the Venus of Urbino. Is she a mythic goddess? A high-end courtesan? A new bride waiting in a palace bedroom while the ladies root through her dowry chest? Lauren breaks down the jewelry, the sleepy dog of fidelity, the flowers, the direct eye contact, and why a bit of strategic nudity plus a mythological fig leaf made it “okay” for a not-so-celibate cardinal-in-training to hang in his room. She closes with Titian’s late “magic impressionism,” his plague-era death, and how “Titian hair” became shorthand for rich red locks all the way to Anne of Green Gables.

In between, the two take a detour into modern stardom and the Glenn Powell Industrial Complex: Tom Cruise mentorship, Hollywood’s desperate search for the next capital-M Movie Star, Roman Reigns as a wrestling parallel, and why the studio machine trying to manufacture a “relatable leading man” feels a lot more obvious in the age of Instagram, fan cams, and micro-fandoms.

PLUS:
🎮 The Running Man as proto–reality TV fever dream
📺 Richard Dawson weaponizing his game show charm as a dystopian villain
⚡ Opera-singing stalkers, flamethrowers, and the most 80s cast list imaginable
🖼️ Titian’s Venus of Urbino and the long, horny history of “it’s not porn, it’s mythology”
🧡 “Titian red” hair, Renaissance fashion as identity, and why jewelry makes nudes feel even more naked
🌟 Glenn Powell, Tom Cruise, and Hollywood’s struggle to mint a new generation of marquee names

Next week’s prompts: Goldenrod, 919, Hat

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