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In this episode of Self Talk, we discuss the true purpose of healthy boundaries—and why they’re actually acts of compassion, not separation. 

Beginning with the core mantra, “My boundaries benefit both of us,” we'll reframe boundaries as soulful practices that protect our inner peace while deepening authentic connection.

We'll also unpack the difference between walls and boundaries, the role of the underdeveloped ego in boundary resistance, and how consulting our Highest Self can transform difficult exchanges into moments of clarity, honesty, and mutual respect.

You'll walk away with a clearer understanding of what boundaries are, how to recognize when one is needed, and simple, compassionate steps for setting limits rooted in love—for self and others.

✨ Bonus for Listeners

Paid subscribers to Rachel’s Substack, Foundation of Self, will receive exclusive access to her full one-hour Boundaries, Not Walls training video. And as a thank-you for tuning in today, Rachel is offering a free 3-month paid subscription so you can experience the work deeply and at your own pace.

Claim it here: http://rachelastarte.substack.com/selftalk

A heart-centered, grounding conversation for anyone ready to build healthier relationships through clarity, compassion, and courage.

Timeline:

• [0:00:00 ] Introduction
  • Quote on boundaries and the value of self.
  • Host introduction (Rachel Astarte) and welcoming listeners.
• [0:00:24 ] Applying Inner Work Externally
  • Setting the tone: using non-judgment, awareness, and gentleness in interactions with others.
  • Introduction of boundaries as today's topic.
• [0:01:08 ] Boundaries Mantra Shared
  • “My boundaries benefit both of us.”
• [0:01:18 ] Traditional Understanding vs. True Purpose
  • Boundaries as bridges (not walls).
  • Compassionate boundaries strengthen relationships.
• [0:02:02 ] Definition of Boundaries
  • Explanation of boundaries: emotional, mental, energetic, and physical.
  • Boundaries as acts of self-respect and relational respect.
• [0:02:52 ] Consequences of Lack of Boundaries
  • People-pleasing, burnout, building unhealthy walls vs. healthy boundaries.
• [0:03:25 ] When to Set Boundaries
  • Signals that a boundary is needed (feeling drained, resentful, anxious, guilty).
• [0:04:16 ] Inner Resistance and the “Small s Self”
  • Addressing fear voices, moving to listen to the Highest Self for healthier boundaries.
• [0:05:38 ] How to Build Healthy Boundaries — 3 Steps
  1. Identify what feels off (awareness).
  2. Choose the right time and communicate needs with kindness.
  3. Hold boundaries consistently, not rigidly but responsibly.
• [0:07:19 ] When Others Don’t Honor Your Boundaries
  • Step-by-step response:
    1. First time: gentle reminder.
    2. Second time: firm reminder.
    3. Third time: consider space or en

Got a question about your self?
Send it to me at rachel@selftalkpodcast.com and it may be featured on a future episode. 

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Music:
"Ave Marimba"
Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0