Compersion Isn't Automatic — And That's Completely Normal

Compersion gets talked about a lot in ethical non-monogamy — sometimes like it's a requirement, sometimes like it's a badge of honor. But what happens when it just… doesn't come naturally?

In this Wednesday Quickie episode of Beyond Monogamy with Adam & Pris, we get real about jealousy, emotional processing, missed conversations, and the pressure people feel to "do non-monogamy right." This is a raw, honest conversation pulled straight from real life — no scripts, no coaching language, and no pretending it's always easy.

Pris opens up about why compersion doesn't come naturally to her, how cultural upbringing and jealousy wiring play a role, and why being okay is sometimes the best she can offer in the moment. Adam shares what it feels like to want to share excitement and connection with your partner — and what happens when that moment doesn't land the way you expected.

What We Talk About In This Episode

• What compersion actually means (and why it's not the opposite of jealousy)
• Why compersion is not natural for everyone
• Jealousy, possessiveness, and territorial instincts in non-monogamy
• The pressure to perform happiness for your partner
• How ADHD, stress, and mental overload affect emotional presence
• Why not talking can be more damaging than feeling jealous
• Different processing styles between partners
• Learning to communicate without shutting down
• Why compromise matters more than emotional perfection

Real-Life Moments, Not Theory

This episode is sparked by a real play-date experience that went well — but didn't get talked about right away. Adam and Pris unpack why timing, mental space, and communication matter just as much as intentions.

If you've ever felt like you were failing at non-monogamy because jealousy showed up instead of compersion, this conversation will feel very familiar.

The Takeaway

You do not need to feel compersion to be successful in ethical non-monogamy.

You do need honesty, self-awareness, communication, and respect for each other's boundaries.

This episode is a reminder that non-monogamy isn't about checking emotional boxes — it's about navigating real human feelings together.

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