Jill Whalen is an author and coach who explores the Inside Out understanding. In this wide-ranging interview we talk about her book about anxiety and its relation to being innocently caught up in our thinking, as well as how Jill’s relationships to those around her changed as she learned more about the 3 Principles. Her website is a treasure trove of articles and information about this understanding and I highly recommend you check that out.

In the introduction, I mention the wildly creative and beautiful videos that Kate E. Stokes has done about this understanding. They are such an inventive way to explore the inside-out nature of thought. You can learn more and find those videos here. (See if you recognize the voice of the caterpillar in the third video. He might sound familiar.)

And I also share a personal story about my exploration of this understanding as it relates to a situation in my family and my reflections on what the Principles can mean to us during challenging times.

You can find Jill at whatdidyoudowithjill.com

You can listen above or on iTunes or your favorite podcast app or watch the video here. Below are the show highlights, resources we mention, and full transcript.

Show notes

• Exploring how our identity changes and how that’s possible
• On the personal insights that occur when we’re exploring the principles
• Reflections on addiction around relationships and the insights that changed that
• How we create an idea of the people in our lives through our thoughts
• How the principles help the caregivers of those with mental illness

Resources mentioned in this episode

Transcript of interview with Jill Whalen

Alexandra: Hi everyone, I’m Alexandra Amor from stopsufferingabout.com, and I’m here today with Jill Whalen. Hi Jill.

Jill: Hi, Alexandra, how are you?

Alexandra: Very well. How are you?

Jill: I’m good, thanks for having me on the show.

Alexandra: My pleasure. So let me introduce you to our listeners.

Jill Whalen is the author of the book, Victim of Thought: Seeing Through the Illusion of Anxiety, as well as an inspirational blogger at whatdidyoudowithjill.com. She also has many transformative videos on her YouTube channel, which is YouTube/jillwhalen, and she’s happy to speak with anyone seeking more overall peace of mind.

Jill, tell us a little bit more about your background. I know you had some SEO consulting years behind you.

Jill: It seems like forever ago, now. I have to like go back in my memory banks for all that other life that was like… That was old, Jill, I tell people, because life seems so different now.

I was a pioneer in that industry. SEO was, for those who don’t know, stands for search engine optimization, but it’s just helping people get their websites found in Google, basically. Google now, it used to be other search engines.

I was a mom at home, 20 years ago playing on the computer, and figured out how to do that. I had created a parenting website and figured out how to do it, because I love computers and I love the internet. It was a new industry and just somehow became like this big voice in the industry, which was hilarious for me being a mom at home, my kids were little then. So, that was my background in that and I did that, I had my own business for about 17 years or so which did really well.

Alexandra: And then, how did you stumble across this understanding? Where did you learn about it first?

Jill: So, this understanding with the three principals and stuff was, I had decided to lose weight, you know. I had thought about it for a few years, and somehow that doesn’t seem to do anything, just the thinking. And I’d seen other people and friends and relatives that had lost weight and I thought, “Well, if they can do it, I can do it.”

I had never really dieted, it wasn’t my thing. I had been fairly thin most of my life, but I was drinking too much and eating bad foods and things for most of my life. I was about 50 at the time and something in me realized I better do something.

I just did it the old traditional way, counting calories and I had not so traditional, because I had, you know, the Fitbit and the apps and all that, which made it fun for me being a geek. I lost, I forget now what it was, 25 pounds, I think in like six months, which was my goal. But something interesting happened along with the weight loss.

I saw how I was, like, completely different person besides being 25 pounds lighter. My identity was different, because I had gone from somebody who used to laugh at vegetables and exercise. I used to say I was allergic to those things. I thought that was pretty funny, which was fine when you’re young. But then, I liked them all. But, after I started eating them more, and learning how to cook vegetables and stuff, and doing the kinds of exercises that I found I enjoyed, I was like, “How can this be?”

“How can it be that I can be one thing one day, and something else another day?” Because literally, six months is not a long time in the scheme of my life.

And this is all in retrospect where I wouldn’t have said I was looking at identity back then, but I felt like there was something there with, how can it be that your identity can just change because we think it’s so fixed and solid, it seems like it. And I had always been a certain type, that I would tell people, I’m proud of it, this is me, I am this.

I started exploring stuff online on this subject and then and stumbled upon the Hay House Radio channel online, and was listening to various people. And I heard Michael Neill one day, and I was like, “Oh my God, this guy is a genius.”

I didn’t know what he was talking about, but I thought he like invented it all, at the time, and I just was like, “I don’t know what he’s saying, but there’s something that rings true.” And it sounded way over my head, because he… I don’t know, he sounded sciency to me for some reason.

I sent it to my husband. I had an audio of him, and I sent it to my husband, because my husband is all into deep stuff and science and things. And so, I’m like, “Maybe you can understand what he’s saying here, because there’s something in it, and you can explain it to me.” And I sent it to him, and eventually, he watched it or listened to it and one day he said, “Oh yeah, I listened to that thing.”

I’m like, “Oh, what…you know, what’d you think? What was he saying?” And he said, “I think he’s just saying that thoughts create our feelings.” And I said, “I know but, what does that mean?” We both took that away, but we didn’t get it at a deeper level. We didn’t have any insights about it.

So, I kept exploring. I kept listening to that same one, he did too. We both listened to that same one, we didn’t know he had like a million others to listen to. And at some point, I started branching out and found some others of his, and I found the Three Principles movies site, but I heard something. George Pransky did an intro to Michael, and it…and I heard the word, “three principles.” All that was before I found the movies site, and I got scared like, “Oh my God, this is like a cult.”

I’m like, “I don’t want anything to do with this health business.” You know? But I kept… you know, it was like, “Michael Neill just seems too smart to like be part of a cult.” So, there was that weird disconnect there. So, I went to the Three Princi