Content Warning: This episode has brief mentions of suicidal ideations. 

What does it mean to reclaim your identity after surviving years of trauma and emotional manipulation? For so many women, toxic relationship patterns leave deep marks that quietly shape our future choices, our self-image, and our ability to set healthy boundaries. This week on The Change Effect, I am joined by Darla Ridilla– certified Somatic Trauma Informed Relationship Coach and founder of High Value Women—to talk healing, self-trust, and the power of becoming whole.

After enduring cycles of narcissistic abuse and years of feeling “too much” or “too emotional,” Darla found herself at rock bottom, only to rise again and rebuild her life from the inside out. In this episode, Darla opens up about her path through dysfunctional relationships, breaking generational patterns, and helping other women reclaim their inner power.

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Darla Ridilla is a certified somatic trauma-informed relationship coach who helps high-achieving women stop shrinking themselves in relationships and start showing up as their full, unfiltered selves. After decades of looking successful on the outside while secretly navigating toxic patterns behind closed doors, Darla broke free from emotionally unavailable partners, codependent cycles, and the lie that she had to tone herself down to be loved.  

Today, she helps women who are done being told they're "too much" — too intense, too emotional, too successful — reclaim their power and stop settling in any relationship that demands self-abandonment. Whether it’s a partner, boss, friend, or family member, Darla shows her clients how to set radical boundaries, trust their inner wisdom, and build connection without sacrifice.  A dynamic speaker, published author, and host of You Have the Power: The Road to Truth, Freedom and Real Connection, Darla equips women with the tools to stop proving and start choosing — so they can create relationships that honor the powerhouse they are.

In this episode, Darla and I discuss:

• Signs and cycles of narcissistic abuse and the painful process of breaking free.
• How shame, self-doubt, and grief compound the difficulty of leaving toxic partnerships (and how Darla overcame it).
• The process of self-discovery, learning to embrace her “too muchness,” and setting higher standards for relationships moving forward.
• Key steps Darla now uses to help women recognize brainwashing, rebuild after abuse, and create healthy boundaries without shrinking or settling.
• Why true healing goes deeper than self-love; it’s about becoming whole, accepting yourself as you are, and never apologizing for your innate traits.

If you’ve ever questioned your worth, doubted your judgment, or felt trapped in unhealthy relationship patterns, this powerful conversation will remind you: you are not broken, healing is possible, and the path to self-trust starts from within.

CONNECT WITH DARLA:

Website

Facebook

Instagram

YouTube

LINKS REFERENCED:

The Gaslight Effect by Dr. Robin Stern

Single on Purpose by John Kim

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